


Just Right

by Snowy38



Category: Harry Styles - Fandom, Larry Stylinson - Fandom, Louis Tomlinson - Fandom, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bottom Harry at start, Bottom Louis too, Fluff, Harry drinks, Harry wears collars, Insecurity, Kinky Harry, Light lashing, Louis is reluctant, M/M, One short scene implied Zarry, Rejection, Rimming, Self Harm, Sex, Struggling singer Harry, Vanilla Louis, Youth worker Louis, harry is determined, mentions of bondage, where do I start
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-23
Updated: 2015-11-02
Packaged: 2018-04-23 02:28:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 83,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4859624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snowy38/pseuds/Snowy38
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I can't hit you, Harry," Louis blurted, biting his lip afterwards as though that would take back what he'd already said.</p><p>Harry's brows rose and his lips parted as he sucked in air. Not a gasp, exactly, more like a surprised intake of breath. Louis couldn't help gazing at his lips when they were set that way, just wide enough to poke something in them, press something against their soft resistance. Something like his-</p><p>"I don't want you to," Harry said back.</p><p>Louis felt the crush of rejection flood through him, closed his eyes as the pain flitted across his chest and it didn't matter that he'd only met Harry four times and known him less than twenty four hours in total. He'd kind of wanted Harry to want something with him, even if it didn't involve subspace and spanking.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for your continued support and Kudos, please know it does not go un-noticed, I see everything! o.o
> 
> I hope you like this one :)
> 
> Ang
> 
> Ps. I am seeing the boys next week and I love Infinity!

 

 

 

 

The first time Louis met Harry he was sobbing.

 

He was used to his flatmate Zayn having guys staying over but he wasn't used to finding them in subspace with no aftercare.

 

Actually that was a lie. Zayn was a shitty Dom and Louis often sat at the dining table with his conquests, feeding them freshly brewed tea and soft husked words.

 

But they weren't usually as far under as Harry apparently was. He knew Harry's name from the way Zayn had been moaning it for the last few hours; peppered with a few strangled 'Daddy's' from Harry which Louis had rolled his eyes at.

 

And then fisted his hand around his hard dick to get off to. If he must be forced to listen to other people fucking, he may as well make the most of the situation.

 

Anyway it was early when the crying had started and it roused Louis from his bed just to make sure everything was okay and nothing had gone horribly wrong- maybe Harry had been hurt by Zayn's love them and leave them mentality?

 

He really hadn't expected to creep down the hall to find Zayn's door ajar, a long and lean form laid stop his mattress, naked and-

 

He sucked in a gasp. Marked.

 

Harry had red, angry lines all across his back and he was pitched face first into the mattress like he'd just been flogged and fucked. Louis' eyes flicked to the floor where Zany's thrasher lay and his suspicions were confirmed.

 

But Harry's face was buried in his hands and Zayn was nowhere to be seen.

 

He looked down the hallway for his flatmate, called out a couple of times to no answer.

 

Louis found Zayn at the small wooden dining table they'd shunted near the kitchen. His eyes widened a little in shock.

 

"What are you doing? " Louis accused,  arm stretched back to signal the situation in Zayn's room.

 

Zayn shrugged. 

 

"Having some toast."

 

" I can see that, don't you think your boyfriend would like some?" Louis asked pertinently of the sobbing wreck laying in Zayn's room.. 

 

"He's not my boyfriend, " Zayn denied; eyes hard. Louis guessed he'd taken something because he really hoped he didn't have an animal for a flatmate.

 

"You're an asshole," Louis accused crossly with a frown. "You can't just leave him like that his back is raw and he's crying for fucks sake..."

 

"They always do. They like it," Zayn assured cockily.

 

"No they only like it if you stay with them and look after them after," Louis pointed out. 

 

"If you know so much about it you deal with it," Zayn suggested indifferently,  moving to take a shower.  "I have work anyway. "

 

Louis stalked to the freezer and grabbed a bag of frozen peas, rooting around for a clean tea towel.  When he ventured back down the corridor he could hear distraught sounds and a kind of whining coming from the bedroom. 

 

The truth was, he didn't know a lot about it. BDSM that is. Only what he overheard in their small flat with paper-thin walls.

 

He pushed the door open, his heart breaking at the sight.  Harry was writhing a little, arching his back almost as if he was still being flogged and the red welts on his back needed air. Louis suspected his skin was stinging and smarting and rounded the bed to kneel on it, shuffling across on his knees.

 

He didn't know what to do or what to say. Was Harry still under?  Would his caring confuse him? He couldn't help himself; he reached out to sink his hand into the mass of dark messy curls that Harry owned. He briefly wondered what colour his eyes were, if he was handsome. Probably, knowing Zayn.

 

Harry cried out and rutted against the bed, bringing a sharp gasp from Louis' lips. Harry wasn't even done yet.  Zayn had left him beaten and hard and he needed to release.

 

"Shh," Louis eased his whimpers wondering if his gentle approach would ruin this for the beautiful boy laid front down on the bed. He'd heard that subs needed instruction, need _domination_ , naturally.

 

"Can I?" Harry whispered and Louis wondered for a moment if he was even aware of the change from Zayn to him. He guessed Harry was down for whatever Zayn wanted, saw Louis as another Dom because he was sure the long haired lad was aware he wasn't Zayn.

 

At least he really hoped so.

 

"Go ahead,  use your hand," Louis allowed and it didn't take long for Harry's release.

 

As Louis reached across to press the ice to Harry's sore back finally, he tried not to notice how Zayn's come was dripping off of him or how beautiful he looked.

 

Louis wasn't a big fan of BDSM but he couldn't deny how gorgeous Harry looked ruined. And he was naked. Something Louis could hardly be expected to ignore. The guy was a long, muscled wreck. If Zayn hadn't gotten there first he might even be interested himself. Which was absurd he realised belatedly. He hadn't even seen his face yet.

 

Harry collapsed into the bed and Louis was so unconcerned about the mess being left on Zayn's sheets. He hoped it stained the sheets forever; Zayn was such an asshole to leave Harry like this.

 

As he gently worked the frozen pack across Harry's flogged skin, Harry shifted toward him, his torso moving sideways as his mouth sought out his lap.

 

Louis eyes flared in sudden realisation and he gently stopped Harry's intention.

 

"Hey, you've done real good, yeah?" He husked grasping at words he had no idea were effective or not. He didn't do this- how was he supposed to know what to say? "Relax, babe..."

 

His words seemed to be a trigger for Harry who curled up with a whine. Louis dragged his torso into his lap,  grabbing his discarded ice and hugging Harry gently while he came back to reality. 

 

"I'm shit at this," he offered in some attempt to help ease Harry's soft noises. He couldn't tell if they were good or not.  "I'm sorry I wish I could be better at it for you. Useless fucking Dom I'd be, couldn't even whip you in the first place-"

 

"Louis."

 

It was his name; he shouldn't be surprised but he didn't know Harry knew it and his voice was deep and husk-wrecked.  Louis lay the ice pack down and pulled the sheet up to gently cover Harry's nakedness. Harry curled deeper in his lap so Louis leaned back, getting comfortable. 

 

His fingers seemed to thread into Harry's hair of their own accord like he couldn't have controlled them if he tried and he found himself speaking again just to ease the silence and disguise Harry's hitched,  traumatised breaths that still struggled from his lungs through his obscenely ravaged lips.

 

"So United are doing pretty shit don't you think? I blame that new manager, our strikers this year just aren't up to it...not much we can do now like I wonder if things will turn around?"

 

"Hmm..." Harry wriggled, content in his arms and Louis remembered what he was doing here. 

 

Not petting his boyfriend in bed after sex. Petting _Zayn's_ boyfriend after a _scene_. He stiffened,  wondering if Harry was asleep but he kept fidgeting slightly as if seeking a tighter embrace.  Louis resisted.

 

"Zayn's gone to work," Louis murmured.  "You can stay here a while if you like..."

 

Harry rolled over for the first time; his eyes blinking up into Louis'. And they were amazing. _Holy fuck_ , were they-

 

 _Green_.

 

Harry's eyes were green. The kind of green moss looked after rainfall. The kind of green that was flecked with several colours and owning only one. Louis was mesmerised.

 

"He left me?" Harry asked with a slight frown.

 

Louis brushed his fringe back.

 

"I hope you don't mind me stepping in..." He swallowed.

 

He was nothing like Zayn; couldn't inflict pain on insects let alone humans and Harry obviously liked being hurt so he had no idea how he felt about Louis being there. 

 

He seemed to be coming round now, sitting up and grasping the sheet to his body while red stained the top of his cheeks. He was mortified and Louis didn't want him to be, wanted him to be the farthest thing from. 

 

"Thank you, " Harry husked, his face crumpled with confusion and something else- probably vulnerability but Louis couldn't erase that. That was Zayn's job as his Dom but Louis had tried his best.

 

He rubbed Harry's arm and regretted it when his thumb pressed over his bicep. 

 

"No problem. ..uh...guess I'll see you around, " he offered.

 

Harry swallowed a bitter taste.

 

"No, I don't think so," he said as Louis crawled off the bed to stand looking down on Harry and feeling entirely inadequate in his trackies and tee with his hair a mess. 

 

He retrieved the frozen peas carefully. 

 

"Oh," he swallowed at Harry's words. "Shame," he murmured to himself. 

 

Harry peered at him with those big, nearly-innocent eyes.

 

"Well...take care, " Louis gave an awkward salute before he ducked out of the room.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
> 
> ang

The second time Louis met Harry was at a house party.

 

Zayn was DJ and although Louis had thoroughly bollocked him for leaving Harry in such a state, they still lived together and this was part of Zayn's apology apparently. To bring Louis to one of his gigs.

 

Still the drink was free and the snacks were surprisingly tasty for what appeared to be a pretty standard party. The house it was being held in was on the better side of town and the blonde guy whose birthday it was had hugged Louis three times and told him in a strong Irish accent that he 'loved the shit outta him', even though they'd never met before.

 

Louis was spending most of his time either on the 'dance-floor' (the living room) or being chatted up by party-goers. Mostly the girls to his annoyance.

 

He'd stumbled across Harry in the hallway or more accurately, Harry had stumbled upon him. Quite drunkenly so. What had maybe shocked Louis the most was what Harry was wearing.

 

Not his skin-tight black jeans, nor his tan suede boots, nor the flimsy black shirt that he'd unbuttoned to the butterfly tattoo on his chest (Louis flicked his eyes to it but tried and failed not to lick his lips). No, it was the collar around his neck had Louis wide-eyed.

 

"Louis," Harry said, surprising Louis slightly.

 

Harry looked fairly inebriated. He didn't expect to be recognised.

 

"Hi," Louis tucked his hands in his pockets and lifted his chin in acknowledgement.

 

"Um...do you even know my name?" Harry asked.

 

Louis nodded. "You're Harry."

 

"I am," he nodded back, seemingly copying Louis' movements. He swallowed another mouthful of drink which Louis watched with keen eyes. "Is Zayn here?"

 

Louis felt his heart drop into his feet and he couldn't explain the feeling of disappointment that washed over him with his words. Okay, maybe more than washed. Maybe drowned him in a tsunami. Whatever, he still didn't know why.

 

"Yeah, he's at the DJ deck," Louis looked over his shoulder to signal where Zayn was situated.

 

"Might stay out here then," Harry mumbled and the loud music made it difficult to hear.

 

"What's this?" Louis lifted a finger and tucked it into the collar, gently tugging it.

 

Harry's eyes blinked lazily, but drew to his and stared, affected by his move. Louis dropped his hand again and gasped in air. The look in Harry's eyes just then...It had been-

 

He swallowed. _Fuck_ , it had been so _hot_. Harry had enjoyed him tugging on the constraint, however small that action was. Louis didn't know how he felt about that. The fact Harry was into being hit and being collared made him feel innately uneasy. It was a shame because the guy was a babe otherwise. So tall. So muscular and lithe...such touchable hair, all wild with a curl. Louis's fingers twitched in the pockets of his jeans from wanting to touch.

 

"It's a collar," Harry finally said and Louis thought that much was evident. He waited for Harry to expand.

 

He shrugged. "I wore it so I wouldn't get chatted up," Harry added. "It shows people I'm taken."

 

Louis blinked, the second wave of disappointment not as hard to bear as the first.

 

"By Zayn?" Louis checked, just in case Harry was as much of a slut as Zayn was.

 

Harry cleared his throat, studying his glass intently.

 

"No, we're not-I mean, I don't usually-"

 

Louis lifted a brow.

 

"I don't sleep around," Harry finally offered.

 

Louis wondered how letting Zayn- a guy he barely knew- flog him and fuck him without a condom could possibly translate into not sleeping around. Maybe it was a one-off, a mistake?

 

"I was drunk," Harry shouted in his ear, proving his point by being obscenely drunk right in this moment.

 

Louis nodded, pretending to be interested.

 

"Don't actually remember drinking much," Harry frowned and Louis frowned, too. Did Zayn..? _Would_ Zayn...?

 

"Wanna dance?" Louis asked, not sure Harry could even stand let alone co-ordinate limbs. Harry's shake of his head answered for him.

 

"Going home," he lifted his glass resolutely.

 

"You're not crashing here?" Louis frowned worriedly.

 

Harry shook his head.

 

"Be some kind of orgy and I don' want that," he shared.

 

Louis swallowed. No neither did he. He didn't want Harry to be used as some kind of sex-toy at all. Ever.

 

He smirked at his thoughts. He didn't even know the guy and he was caring about him already. He needed to remind himself not to get so invested. Not to let Zayn's boyfriends worry him so much. He couldn't say it had been much of a problem until he'd met Harry.

 

"I'll drive you home," Louis offered, done with the party anyway. He'd made the best of it but it really wasn't his scene, he'd only come so Zayn would stop saying sorry every five seconds around the flat.

 

Harry pursed his lips.

 

"I only live down the road," he shared.

 

Louis lifted his brows. So Harry came from the nice side of town too. He could kind of tell from his accent even though he was slurred and husky.

 

"I'll walk with you then," Louis adjusted, falling into step behind Harry, ducking his head and curling his shoulders in to avoid the energetic crowd.

 

Harry shared a long hug with the blonde guy who in turn, shared a long hug with Louis.

 

"Don't be a stranger!" the Irish lad slurred and Louis couldn't help giggling to himself. He _was_ a bloody stranger, how could he not be?!

 

"How do you know Niall?" Harry asked as they tumbled outside and Harry staggered so far to his left that Louis plucked a hand out of his pocket to grasp his elbow, saving him from toppling over completely.

 

"I don't," Louis shared.

 

Harry didn't try to make sense of that. "Oh."

 

"He seems to think I do," Louis added.

 

It was sort-of hard work directing Harry along the pavements. They'd had to resort to walking down the middle of the road for the sake of a white line to follow and Louis had to press his hand gently to Harry's back to guide him.

 

Around five minutes later, singing some god-awful Britney song, Harry pulled something out of his pocket with a flourish.

 

Louis squinted into the dark, flicking a look toward his new friend.

 

"Open your hand," Harry said.

 

Louis held out his spare right hand, his left still busy on Harry's back. Harry placed the item there, a thin leather lead with a clip that would fit right into the D-Ring on the collar around his neck.

 

"You can walk me if you like," Harry offered, drunk and assured.

 

Louis stiffened, paused in the middle of the street, leading Harry to safety when a taxi crawled past them, full of hollering party-goers who Harry seemed to know if his hollering in return was anything to go by.

 

When he turned back to Louis, huddled on the curb in his denim jacket, his eyes were lazily blinking in that way Louis remembered from before.

 

"Not into it?" Harry husked.

 

Louis shook his head, passing the lead back to Harry.

 

"I'll get you home safe," Louis said and he wasn't sure if it was in reply to Harry's question, to defend his wariness of bondage, or as a promise for what he could offer. Safety. Protection.

 

Maybe those things didn't matter to Harry, maybe he wanted whips and chains. Louis didn't have a chance but then that was nothing new. He'd gotten used to that, to not being quite enough for someone. Not nice enough, not mean enough, not soft enough, not hard enough, not funny enough...

 

He turned back in the direction he guessed they were heading, waiting for Harry to follow him.

 

"Louis?" He heard his name and paused, not turning at first.

 

"I think I'm gonna be sick..."

 

He did turn then, only to see Harry puking in a flower-bed at the edge of the pavement. He looked up to the dark sky, wondered what he'd ever done wrong and then quickly back-tracked as Harry swayed precariously in the cold night air. He got both his arms around him before Harry could fall.

 

"Gotcha, lush," Louis mused.

 

Harry handed him the lead again.

 

"Can you look after this?" Harry asked his voice low and hoarse with being sick.

 

Louis tried to ignore his breath.

 

"Sure," Louis slipped it into his jacket pocket and helped Harry walk(stumble) the rest of the way home.

 

//

 

Louis had thought that after those two short- and awkward- meetings with Harry, that he wouldn't see him again.

 

He'd gotten Harry into his house and up to his room; finding a bucket from his cleaning cupboard to leave by the bed. Harry had passed out before he'd even turned to say goodbye.

 

And so Louis had decided that after two opportunities to get into bed with Harry Styles, the fates were not stacked in his favour.

 

And he couldn't help thinking about him, which was odd. They'd not even had a meaningful conversation but there was something about holding Harry in his arms that had him hooked. And the fact he still had a leather lead in his pocket.

 

Zayn had been looking for a light one day and tugged it out, arching a curious brow.

 

"Have I influenced you?" he'd asked and Louis had told him to shut up and not spoken about the lead at all never mind where he got it.

 

Louis did have a slight twinge of guilt about fancying one of Zayn's bed-partners and he also had a major self esteem crisis over two things- one, being nothing like Zayn himself and therefore not remotely attractive to a guy like Harry and two- being about as vanilla in bed as they came and also therefore, not remotely attractive to Harry.

 

But chance presented itself again just a couple of weeks later and Louis didn't know whether to be relieved, over-joyed or downright annoyed.

 

"Hey..."

 

Harry's voice had crept into his ear and made him shiver with the way it curled through his veins with ticklish delight. Louis had started, snapping his head up to his left where Harry was leaning against him slightly.

 

"Are you drunk again?" Louis wondered, not bothering with 'hello'.

 

Harry didn't seem to notice.

 

"No," he answered, a little indignantly as he leaned away.

 

Louis swallowed, shifted down the queue in the coffee shop they both happened to be visiting at the same time.

 

"Were you okay, the other night?" He asked, and he feared the slightly high pitch of his voice and barely-decipherable breathlessness gave him away.

 

Harry bit into his lip.

 

"Yeah...thank you," he offered. "Again," he added.

 

Louis nodded.

 

"As long as you're alright..."

 

Louis went to pay for his ordered drink but Harry shunted his hand away with his own big paws that he owned. Louis didn't think it was fair he dominated paying for his drinks that way. He could have just asked.

 

Of course, Louis would have said no and paid for Harry's instead but still....

 

"Do you have time to sit?" Harry wondered then.

 

Louis waited for his drink to be made. He checked his watch. He didn't need to, he had the afternoon off. His job as a Youth Outreach Mentor was fairly flexible.

 

"Sure," he agreed as Harry collected his cup and they moved toward the seated area, Louis picking a low leather seat to sink into, surprised when Harry sat beside him instead of opposite.

 

Louis dipped into his pocket and curled the lead into his fingers, passing it to Harry.

 

"I should give you this, while I remember..."

 

Harry took the lead and actually blushed. Louis found it amusing that a guy who liked being whipped and led about- probably liked being strangled a little- could find it embarrassing to handle his toys in public this way.

 

Harry hung his head, his large shoulders curving inwards as his long legs struggled to find comfortable reprieve on the low seat. Eventually he turned in toward Louis and rested his knee against the smaller man's.

 

Louis didn't knock him away or flinch. He just looked to where their knees rested together, quiet and thoughtful.

 

"I'm really sorry," Harry said then.

 

Louis raised his brows.

 

"It's okay," he assured.

 

"I cant remember what I did," Harry admitted shamefully. "But I'm sure it wasn't good."

 

Louis shrugged. "You puked in someone's flower-bed..."

 

Harry groaned and covered his face with his hands. Louis didn't know quite what possessed him, but he leaned forward and brushed his fringe back, just like he had that day in Zayn's bed. He swallowed hard when he realised what he'd done. When Harry lifted his head to look at him, awed, lips parted.

 

Louis dropped his hand and reached for his cup to busy his curious fingers. His hand shook a little as he forced down a mouthful of too-hot drink, wincing as it scalded his throat.

 

Harry reached out with his long gentle fingers and pushed his hand down so that his cup touched the table again.

 

"Blow on it," he chided, his eyes wide and his voice husked.

 

Louis could think of a few things he would like to blow on and none of them were his drink. He tried not to let his gaze slip to Harry's lap, to the tight juncture of his jeans. He probably failed.

 

"I...thanks," he smiled tightly.

 

A couple of awkward moments passed and even though Louis had seen Harry bare-naked and covered in come, he still felt innately uncomfortable as though they were total strangers forced to talk, made to converse in staccato sentences. He looked out of the window in a desperate attempt to find a topic of conversation that didn't included leashes and double-entendre.

 

"I think I owe you dinner," Harry said eventually, looking Louis in the face bravely.

 

Louis saw something cross Harry's face but couldn't place it. Harry's lips parted slightly and Louis found it intriguing.

 

"You do?" Louis said, then realising this was a great opportunity to see Harry again, he added; "You do." more assuredly.

 

Harry offered him a sheepish smile.

 

"Okay, the fact you've seen me naked and I haven't you is making me all kinds of awkward but I'm going to bypass that because I really do owe you," Harry expressed.

 

Louis bit his lip. _You can see me naked. All you have to do is ask._

 

He slapped his ho-side down and his lashes fluttered with the mental talking-to he was giving himself right now.

 

"Alright," he agreed carefully.

 

Harry stared at him and Louis would almost think he was awed. Almost.

 

"Um, when's good?" Harry asked.

 

Louis wondered what Harry did for a living that allowed a uniform of black jeans and those suede boots with a t-shirt today, a long duffel coat over the top and a beanie tugged over his curls. Louis felt himself salivating and tried to focus on the shapes Harry's lips were making.

 

"I mean, you can take my number if you like..."

 

When Louis noticed Harry swallow nervously, he was rendered breathless. _Harry was nervous_. It wasn't the same as the whining, whimpering ball of neediness that he'd come across in Zayn's room. And if Louis had thought that Harry was his undoing then he had a long way to go, he realised. Because nervous Harry was twice as enticing.

 

The exhibitionist was gone, the confident BDSM sub vanished. Louis didn't know if he was allowed to like this Harry more than the others. He almost didn't care.

 

"Here," Louis passed his phone over, letting Harry type his number in.

 

Harry handed him it back and Louis checked what he'd saved his contact as.

 

_Harry the Nuisance._

Louis flicked his eyes up, grinning for the first time since they'd met.

 

"You're not a bloody nuisance," he denied with a shake of his head in amusement.

 

He wasn't sure why Harry was staring at him. Maybe he had chocolate on his lip? He wiped his lips self-consciously.

 

"Will you call?" Harry asked, all nervous still.

 

Louis shrugged, standing, emptying his cup. "Maybe," he teased, saluting in a parting gesture, only to huddle outside the coffee-house door.

 

He dialled the newly saved number.

 

"Um...hello?"

 

"Can I speak to Harry the Nuisance please?" Louis asked, biting his lip to curb his smile.

 

He looked around furtively and his eyes sparkled at the patrons passing him in and out of the coffee-house door.

 

He heard Harry smirk.

 

"Speaking..."

 

"It's Louis here, remember me from Niall's party?" Louis role-played expertly.

 

"Louis?" Harry feigned bad memory. "Did we dance?"

 

"You asked me to walk you home on a leash," Louis inserted, smiling smugly as he heard Harry choke on a mouthful of his coffee he'd evidently just taken.

 

" _Fuck_ ," he heard Harry mutter, imagining him brushing himself free of spluttered coffee.

 

Louis ducked his head to peer through the glass of the door, seeing him doing just that. He began to walk.

 

"Anyway," Louis continued smoothly, much more smoothly than he felt. His hands were shaking, his heart was pounding. So hard he felt he might have a heart attack any moment. "Wondered if you fancied dinner Friday?" He posed.

 

He almost felt Harry smile.

 

"Let me check my diary," Harry mused, then without a breath. "I'm free."

 

"Time and place?" Louis asked.

 

"Eight o'clock," Harry decided. "But I want to surprise you..."

 

Louis didn't know how he felt about surprises really. His awareness of the world in general had grown so much since living with Zayn- a creature of all kinds of kink-but Louis still felt insignificant in comparison. He didn't know what Harry and Zayn had done before their night in Zayn's bed but Louis could guarantee he couldn't offer anything near as exciting.

 

He wanted to go to dinner though so much. He sucked in a brave breath, promising to himself he'd not see Harry again after dinner. Dinner would be the fourth and final time.

 

"What shall I wear?" Louis asked in reply to Harry's proposal to surprise him.

 

Harry was quiet for too long on the other end of the line and Louis wondered if he'd forgotten to answer at one point.

 

"Whatever you like," he finally husked, sounding quieter than usual.

 

Louis rolled his eyes. That was so unhelpful.

 

"I'll text you my address then so you can come pick me up?" He checked.

 

"Be ready," Harry said.

 

Louis could bet his life on it.

 

 

//

 

Zayn was laying on his bed watching him get ready for his date. Louis had tried on everything in his wardrobe twice and was about to go for the third round when Zayn pointed to the edge of the bed.

 

"Them trousers with that white shirt," he said.

 

Louis slipped on the fitted grey trousers and buttoned up the short-sleeved shirt.

 

"And those-" Zayn shook his finger at the red braces hanging down the edge of the bed.

 

Louis put them on too, snapping them into place. He began to fix his fringe in the mirror.

 

"Who's the guy anyway?" Zayn wondered, picking up one of Louis' shirts to slip on over his t-shirt, testing how it looked.

 

Louis bit his lip. He may as well come clean.

 

"Harry," he admitted.

 

Zayn's brows shot up.

 

"What, my Harry?" he checked.

 

Louis found his chest ached as his lungs suddenly became tight.

 

"Is he yours?" Louis asked.

 

Zayn smirked. "I just meant as in the guy I fucked, not like-" he paused. "Not _mine_."

 

Louis blinked, ignoring the first half of his sentence.

 

"Yes, that Harry," Louis agreed lightly.

 

"Fuck me," Zayn shook his head with soft surprise in his mutterings.

 

"What?" Louis turned, frowning.

 

Zayn grinned. "Just-I never-I never thought you'd have it in you," he said. "Never thought BDSM was your thing..."

 

"It's not," Louis frowned.

 

Although his body might argue that he liked collars quite a lot actually, especially when a particular tall, dark haired boy wore them. And he wasn't completely averse to the leads that came with them...he just hadn't tried using one yet, might never in fact, but holding had been...different. Exciting, maybe. And he'd never let an implement mark his skin the way Zayn's flogger had but...well the way Harry had lain in his arms that night, Louis kind of wanted more. He wanted more without Harry having to be hurt to get it.

 

Zayn was carefully avoiding his gaze and Louis knew why. He twisted his lips.

 

"I know, okay?" He snapped. "I know he won't be interested, it's not about that."

 

Zayn frowned.

 

"Of course he's bloody interested," Zayn denied quickly. "You're my best mate and you're fucking gorgeous. He'd be a fucking idiot if he wasn't interested..."

 

"He liked _you_ ," Louis mused. "I'm not fooling myself as to what tonight is..."

 

"He liked the alcohol I was plying him with," Zayn corrected.

 

Louis gave him a hard look, felt aggrieved that his friend could be so complacent.

 

"Tommo, he wanted it too, alright?" Zayn assured.

 

Louis nodded but he wasn't appeased, not really.

 

Zayn got up and slung an arm around his shoulders.

 

"You want to borrow my jacket?" He asked.

 

Louis managed a shaky smile.

 

"Alright you bastard," he sighed.

 

Zayn grinned and tumbled off to get it.

 

 

//

 

Harry had hired a taxi and Louis had slipped in beside him, not getting a full appraisal from Harry's keen green gaze until they were stood in the foyer of the restaurant he had chosen.

 

It was pretty posh, looked very exclusive and it was about a million miles away from Harry puking on flower borders and wanking himself off on Zayn's bed. Louis knew which he wanted right now and it didn't feature food and cutlery.

 

"Jesus Louis," Harry was shaking his head as they waited to be seated.

 

Harry was simply stunning in black suit pants, smart shoes and a blue shirt with white hearts on it. His hair was clean, pushed back off his face. Louis could smell the drift of his aftershave, could tell Harry had moisturised and even wore lip-balm. His lips were so soft-looking, he couldn't possibly not be wearing lip balm.

 

He looked up at Harry's words.

 

"What?" He asked, self-consciously lifting a hand to press his fringe between his fingers and pull; making sure it was neat.

 

He noted the way Harry's eyes were lazily gazing down him, not missing any of his dips and curves. And Louis had plenty of curves, much to his annoyance. Still, if it meant Harry looked at him like that, he might be able to bear his figure a little better. Harry's eyes seemed to be glued to his thighs and butt, two areas he normally felt conscious of.

 

It was Zayn's fault he even owned these trousers let alone was wearing them.

 

"You look really good," was all Harry said in response to Louis' question but his voice was so low and husky he had to clear his throat.

 

Louis wanted to be in possession of that damn leash and for Harry to put the collar back on.

 

"Thanks," he clipped, dipping his gaze so his lashes were long on his high cheekbones.

 

"Really, really good," Harry added, rocking back on his heels with a breathy sigh out.

 

Louis watched him for a moment.

 

"And you," he said then.

 

Harry tilted his head, interested in that. Louis didn't elaborate. Harry made sure to follow Louis through to their table and Louis was sure he was only doing it to watch his huge ass waddle all the way there.

 

//

 

"So you work with teenagers?" Harry was interested in Louis' work, too apparently. Not just his ass.

 

Louis nodded, finishing his mouthful of main- a steak and mash.

 

"Yeah, what about you?" He asked back.

 

Harry smiled.

 

"I sing."

 

Louis' fork paused on its way to his mouth. Harry shrugged.

 

"I probably sound like a bum."

 

Louis lay his fork back down slowly.

 

"No...just-I..." he frowned, blinking, gaping probably. He really hadn't expected that.

 

"I make money," he explained.

 

Louis darted him a look, rolled his eyes around the room.

 

"Obviously," he remarked. "Are you famous?"

 

Louis began to worry he'd missed that little fact.

 

"No," Harry smirked. "Not even close."

 

"How do you make money?" Louis wondered.

 

"I write a lot for other artists. I take every gig I can," he added.

 

Louis felt his profession explained a lot about his clothes. Apart from tonight but then Louis was impressed with his effort. He seemed genuinely remorseful about his previous behaviour and wanted to make things right.

 

Louis folded his napkin and threw it lightly on the table.

 

"So I guess after tonight I won't see you anymore," Louis broached.

 

Harry seemed to frown at that.

 

"Why not?"

 

Louis shrugged. "You're busy getting famous, I'm busy being Louis the Loser..." he muttered.

 

"I don't care how busy I am, I can still make time for my friends," Harry arched.

 

Louis thought he might have inadvertently offended him but Harry sighed out.

 

"And you're not a bloody loser."

 

Louis figured he may as well go in with the big guns, make it blatant as to what was on his mind here since subtlety wasn't working.

 

"I can't hit you, Harry," he blurted, biting his lip afterwards as though that would take back what he'd already said.

 

Harry's brows rose and his lips parted as he sucked in air. Not a gasp, exactly, more like a surprised intake of breath. Louis couldn't help gazing at his lips when they were set that way, just wide enough to poke something in them, press something against their soft resistance. Something like his-

 

"I don't want you to," Harry said back.

 

Louis felt the crush of rejection flood through him, closed his eyes as the pain flitted across his chest and it didn't matter that he'd only met Harry four times and known him less than twenty four hours in total. He'd kind of wanted Harry to want something with him, even if it didn't involve subspace and spanking.

 

He managed a curt nod.

 

"Okay," he accepted with a wry twist of his lips. _It was not okay_. Not okay at all. He couldn't show that though. He forced a smile onto his lips that came off more like a grimace. "Okay, I understand," he murmured, understanding perfectly well.

 

Zayn was right, Harry needed edge, needed danger and Louis could only offer him the opposite. Could only take him back to vanilla from kink and who would want that really? After being thrashed into submission? He couldn't even blame Harry for his fetish because Louis got it, got it so well it still surprised him how he didn't sink into the claws of kinky fantasy and relish their tight hold.

 

He only had Zayn to thank for his acceptance and his own bloody boringness to thank for his apprehension in actually trying anything.

 

"Can we have dinner again?" Harry asked and it had felt like a lifetime since either of them had last spoken.

 

Louis sucked in a breath, figuring he was being kind.

 

"You don't need to do that," he assured, looking up, trying not to let his devastation show. He was pretty sure he failed.

 

"But I wan-"

 

"It's best to leave it," Louis cut across his argument and Harry didn't try again, only watched him with a vaguely confused expression like a conversation had just occurred that he hadn't understood a word of.

 

"Louis-" He reached forward across the table, grasping his wrist.

 

Louis slipped it into his lap, out of Harry's grasp.

 

"I should be getting back," Louis said and it covered a lot of topics.

 

_I should be getting back but I don't want to._

_I should be getting back but you could ask me to stay._

_I should be getting back and you could get back with me._

It was Harry's turn to look devastated.

 

"Alright...okay," he nodded, swallowing hard before he ordered the bill and paid it.

 

He walked Louis to the entrance door of the block of flats he and Zayn lived in, both with their hands in their trouser pockets as they walked up.

 

"Thank you," Louis expressed, meaning it. "I really enjoyed tonight."

 

_Apart from being told you don't want me to hit you._

 

"Thank you for looking after me," Harry returned.

 

_Even though you don't want to see me again._

 

They both startled as a loud, obnoxious voice yelled 'kiss!' from the top floor and they looked up to find Zayn hanging out of the window.

 

"Fuck off, Malik!" Louis cast, annoyed.

 

Harry glanced at him, his unusual show of anger.

 

"Goodnight, I guess?" Louis offered.

 

Harry blinked, pursed his lips and rocked back on his heels.

 

"I guess," he said, making Louis frown confusedly over his shoulder as he came inside and started climbing the stairs.

 

And if his head was yelling at him that Harry liked him, wanted to see him again, was trying not to say goodnight or goodbye or anything final-well, he didn't listen to it.

 

He also didn't listen to Zayn's hour long rant asking why Louis hadn't kissed Harry goodnight although he did have a dream he was being chased by a crowd of Zayn's chanting 'kiss him' and Louis had wished he'd never met Harry bloody Styles once, let alone four times.


	3. Chapter 3

It was a Sunday the fifth time.

 

Louis was in slouch pants, his favourite grey marl tee and a navy beanie. He was making itinery plans for his Youth groups, curled up on his favourite worn leather sofa at the coffee house.

 

He'd startled when a weight had landed next to him.

 

Harry bloody Styles.

 

He blinked, gaze falling automatically to Harry's lips. He internally chastised himself and flicked his gaze back up-to his dreamy eyes.

 

 _Oh god_.

 

Harry did _not_ have dreamy eyes. That's what ten year old girls said about their idols. Not what twenty something guys said about the object of their fantasies. And that's all Harry was. A fantasy. All he ever would be. In his fantasies, Louis could be as mean and dominant as Harry desired. It was a much better place than reality.

 

He realised Harry was waiting for a greeting.

 

"Hi," he offered.

 

"Hey," Harry smiled back, his lips curving to reveal two deep dimples that Louis knew nothing about.

 

If his stomach curled deliciously it had nothing to do with those dimples.

 

_Yeah right._

 

"How are you?" Louis aimed for civil.

 

"Lonely," Harry pouted.

 

Louis squinted at his cup, wondering what had been added to his coffee. He could smell the faint tinge of coffee on Harry's breath as he sighed gently. He absolutely did not want to lick the taste off Harry's tongue.

 

"You?" Louis scoffed. "You're lying..."

 

"Why am I lying?" Harry's head snapped toward him, his body following suit as he turned a little.

 

The sofa was quite big until Harry sat on it and now it felt tiny. Louis tried to breathe.

 

"Because-" he paused. "Well, look at you," he managed.

 

Harry did. Look at himself. He frowned.

 

"And?"

 

Louis rolled his eyes.

 

"You're gorgeous so I can't imagine you having any issues finding "friends"," he actively paraphrased the term 'friends' with his fingers.

 

Harry blinked.

 

"So you're jealous, is that was this is about?" Harry asked.

 

Louis choked out air.

 

"What what is about?!" He gasped.

 

Harry rescued Louis' plans from his lap, laying them on the coffee table.

 

"You not wanting to have dinner with me," Harry fronted.

 

Harry sipped at his coffee, smiling at a lady who was accentuating her hip-wiggle as she walked by. Louis rolled his eyes.

 

 _He doesn't even like girls, hussy_.

 

Harry arched a brow in Louis' direction. Louis looked away. No, he wasn't jealous. Not in the slightest. Why would he be? His best friend had slept with Harry and he hadn't got shitty with him. Well not much. Maybe a bit but only because Zayn had left him alone and crying...

 

"Can we be friends?" Louis asked then.

 

Harry darted him a hopeful look.

 

"Do you mean it?"

 

Louis swallowed. It would be hell being friends with Harry, watching him get together with nameless other guys. His chest ached in warning. He ignored it.

 

"Yes." Louis assured.

 

Harry smiled, weak and vague.

 

 _Friends_. Happy days.

 

//

 

Despite his offer to be friends, Louis mostly avoided actually meeting Harry and kept up a text friendship for the most part.

 

The sixth time they met, it was at a studio. Zayn had tricked Louis into going; telling him he had a DJ job- which was the truth-and failed to mention that it was for a track Harry was doing the vocal for.

 

Louis had tried to escape when he'd finally clicked two feet from the studio door (where the sign boasted DJ Malik + Harry Styles) but Zayn had caught Louis in his wiry- _but surprisingly strong_ \- arms and hauled him through the door only to unceremoniously dump his wriggling body in front of the mixing desk.

 

"Hi," Zayn called to the sound engineer.

 

Niall was slouched in one of the office chairs.

 

"Hey! Louis!" He greeted warmly, coming over to hug him.

 

Louis smiled tightly.

 

"Hello, Niall."

 

"Heard I got a bit shit-faced on my birthday," he said. "Sorry about that."

 

Louis shrugged. "It's fine..."

 

"So, you came for Haz?" The blonde lad asked eagerly.

 

Louis flicked Zayn a dark look.

 

"No, I was tricked," he admitted.

 

Niall's face changed.

 

"Oh...oh, right...only I thought- " Niall sighed out.

 

Zayn arched a brow behind Niall's back and Louis rolled his eyes.

 

"I'm here now," he offered with his own sigh.

 

Niall looked positively hopeful. It burned in his blue eyes like a beacon. Louis began to feel sick. If only Niall knew. If only he knew that Harry liked being lashed into oblivion and that Louis couldn't lash anything, let alone into oblivion.

 

Louis settled into a seat next to the engineer, striking up a friendly bond with him- _Liam_ \- and sharing the duties of the tabs on the board. He was just leaning in laughing at one of his football jokes when the door separating the sound booth and the control panel opened.

 

"Hey!" Harry greeted, breathless and sweaty around the edges.

 

Louis smiled.

 

"Hi."

 

"I couldn't believe it was you," Harry admitted.

 

Louis avoided Liam's questioning gaze.

 

"I've been busy," he muttered unconvincingly.

 

Harry nodded, slipping his hands into his tight jeans pockets.

 

"He's not busy tonight though," Zayn called out, making Louis grit his teeth.

 

 _Thanks Zayn_.

 

"He's also got the flat to himself..."

 

Louis frowned, shooting Zayn a look.

 

"Where are you sleeping then?" He wondered.

 

Zayn smirked. "At Perrie's."

 

Louis tilted his head.

 

"Are you still pretending to be straight?" He chided.

 

The rest of the room pretended not to hear their very personal conversation but Liam sniggered and shook his head at the topic, slipping his headphones back on to listen back to what they'd got so far. Niall moved off his seat to sling a friendly arm around Harry's shoulder and Harry returned his affection with an arm around his waist.

 

"So," Louis arched a brow as he looked back at Harry-tall and broad and gorgeous.

 

"Hm," Harry nodded once, lips pressed together.

 

Louis swallowed. Okay, maybe he could try for Harry's sake. Like he didn't have to hurt him or do anything that made him squeamish but he could cope with the collar and maybe a leash and-well, he had to think about the rest. For a long, long time. He might even research it if he and Harry remained friends. And he _had_ offered to be friends above everything else. So he should really get to doing that.

 

"You could-" he swallowed again, letting out a tiny breath of nervous air. "You could come for dinner," Louis offered.

 

Zayn gave a thumbs up. Liam made a crude gesture. Niall licked Harry's cheek. _Of course he did..._

 

Harry's eyes were shining and Louis could tell he was trying not to smile.

 

"Okay," he nodded.

 

"Okay," Louis agreed. _Shit_. He couldn't cook. "What do you like?"

 

Harry bit his lower lip and Louis followed the action, catching his smirk, the way his eyes darkened just a little, the way his pupils widened. Louis already knew what Harry liked and it's what kept them in this horrible check-mate.

 

"Anything," Harry answered and Louis felt deflated by that.

 

 _Yeah, he'd guessed._ Harry would literally go for anything in the bedroom. Louis could only offer him standard, boring sex, though. Sex with love and aftercare, though. He wondered if Harry had ever had that.

 

Louis nodded his acknowledgement so things could get moving in the studio again. He sank back into football-chatter with Liam and let the afternoon while away.

 

//

 

The five of them had gone for pints after the studio session ended. Louis had ended up wedged between the lovely long form of Harry and the rather active Niall. Every time the blonde lad moved about in excited gestures, Louis had to duck and veer left; pushing him further into Harry's side.

 

"Sorry," he apologised for the hundredth time as Niall's arm flailed about as he told a story- it involved catching the biggest fish known to man and Zayn and Liam were fascinated.

 

Harry's eyes flicked over Louis who was tucked into his ribs, hunching self-consciously.

 

"He's great isn't he?" Harry asked and Louis startled at the deep timbre of Harry's voice right in his ear. He felt Harry's breath fall on his cheek, smelt the stickiness of the beer and something Harry-like.

 

Louis smiled wanly.

 

"Great," he agreed, lifting his brows and pressing his lips together.

 

Harry untangled his arm from behind Louis and rested it on the back of their bench seat, leaving Louis an extra inch or two to relax into. He breathed out as he adjusted, turning his face toward Harry as he gave up trying to concentrate on the story Niall was telling.

 

"So listen, I might get take-out on the way home," Louis broached.

 

Harry tucked a smile into his lips.

 

"Oh?"

 

Louis flicked his gaze up, meeting Harry's at last. It had felt like forever since he'd last gazed into those beautiful green orbs. He reminded himself this was why he didn't look at Harry. he was too handsome for a start and his mind started waxing poetic about his bloody _eyes_. they were _eyes_. He couldn't exactly change them. Couldn't possibly fill them with the warmth and sparkle that often hazed them.

 

"I can't cook," Louis admitted then.

 

Harry nodded, biting his lip to tame his smile. Louis' gaze flicked to his full lower one, wishing he wouldn't hold it prisoner. He wanted to see those dimples again. he actually wanted to see a lot more than those dimples but he turned his mind from the image printed there of Harry naked, curled in his lap. That was eons ago. At least it felt like it.

 

"I thought we could get Thai," Louis offered.

 

"Okay," Harry agreed, his eyes dipping to Louis' mouth as Louis licked his lips.

 

Louis wondered what Harry found so fascinating there, maybe it was his crooked teeth or thin lips that were softer than they appeared.

 

"You want to head straight back when we're done here?" Louis checked.

 

Harry was smiling and Louis was caught up in it. He smiled back, tucking Harry's fringe away in a move he hadn't even realised had become habit.

 

"I need a shower," Harry suddenly frowned. "And a change of clothes..."

 

Louis shrugged.

 

"Shower at ours if you like...you'll probably squeeze into some of my trackies just about..."

 

Harry was blinking at him, leaning in. Louis felt his fingers curl around his shoulder where his hand had left the back of the bench. For one whole second Louis smiled bemusedly, felt like Harry was moving to kiss him. That was ridiculous, though, wasn't it?

 

A loud voice startled them apart, along with Niall's elbow in Louis' ribs making him yelp.

 

"And then we were sick all night..." he was saying. "Harry got it worse, was green like his eyes..." The Irish lad recounted.

 

Louis frowned at Harry.

 

"The fish he caught," he filled in the gaps. "We cooked it and ate it...it was a bad fish."

 

Louis suddenly caught up with an 'oh!' and turned to Niall as he shared the story about Harry.

 

"I felt so bad...made him drag the damn thing in, cook it and then it made him sick all night..."

 

Zayn flicked Louis a look and Louis found himself offering his friend a smile. He sort of hadn't thought about how Harry felt with Zayn hanging around but he guessed he must be okay with things to work with him. Maybe they had worked things out since that night all those weeks ago. Louis still found it hard to think about that night, about what it meant. He put it out of his head.

 

When Zayn headed out to meet Perrie and Liam invited Niall over for a X-box challenge, Louis took Harry home. They stopped by the Thai take-out place and tumbled into the flat with their paper bags.

 

Louis pushed the coffee table out of the way, dragging the rug into the gap where he tossed two large cushions off the sofa, sitting on one and waiting for Harry to dump the sacks and sit on the other.

 

Harry sank into a cross-legged position opposite Louis with a crooked smile on his face.

 

"This is the only way to eat take-out," Louis said, a little in defence since Harry was looking at him funny.

 

"Yeah," Harry nodded, pressing his lips together to stop his laughter.

 

Louis squinted at him.

 

"You have another idea?" He wondered.

 

Harry shook his head.

 

"Nope...not at all..."

 

Louis went about snapping lids off pots, revealing their hot and tasty food which they both dipped into with fingers, sometimes with the plastic forks provided. Harry offered him a pinch of rice and Louis opened his mouth, licking his fingers clean. It was kind of, sort of-

 

Harry sucked in a breath, heaved air into his lungs as Louis chewed, swallowing shallowly and feeling the rice stick in his chest. He watched as Harry gingerly rubbed his hand against the thigh of his jeans but that only distracted his gaze to Harry's lap; a place where tight jeans only became tighter with the stretch from his crossed legs.

 

He wanted to run his hands up those thighs. Probably would quite like to straddle them. Harry's gaze was intent as he looked back to his face, licking his lips.

 

"We forgot dessert," Louis said.

 

And he had no idea why he said it, wasn't even sure how those words came to be in his head let alone falling off his tongue that way. He sounded so damn needy. Like he wanted Harry to be his dessert. Like licking ice-cream would be nothing compared to licking Harry and Louis had a sinking feeling it wouldn't be. That licking Harry would be the sweetest thing of all. But he couldn't. He just couldn't. Harry didn't want to be licked. He wanted to be beaten. And Louis swallowed hard with the painful knowledge he'd never be able to give Harry what he wanted.

 

Still, Harry was leaning toward him with a knowing smile on his face and Louis was half-stunned unable to breathe.

 

"Is that a hint?" Harry asked, his hand slipping onto Louis' cheek, cupping his face.

 

Louis dipped his gaze, found his frown deepening.

 

"No," he lied, licking his lips again. "No, I was just saying..." he sucked in a breath, still avoiding Harry's gaze. "I think we have some ice cream in the freezer," he added, turning his face from Harry's gentle hand to clamber up, his heart thrusting wildly in his chest as he tried to walk in a straight line without falling.

 

 _Shit_. His knees were mush and Harry hadn't even fucking kissed him yet. _Yet?!_ He rolled his eyes, dragging in air. There was going to be _no_ kissing. None. Kissing led to other things and Louis couldn't do other things. Not with Harry.

 

"Can I finish the noodles?" Harry called from the floor.

 

Louis jolted his head up from where he'd pressed his forehead to the freezer door.

 

"Sure," he agreed, pulling out the carton of Ben & Jerry's. "I was right, we do have ice-cream," he ventured back to the middle of the room with two spoons and sat on the sofa this time.

 

Harry looked up from the floor.

 

"Picnic over?" He guessed.

 

Louis shrugged.

 

"Floor isn't very comfortable," he offered.

 

"You have plenty of padding on your ass," Harry teased and Louis blushed a little.

 

"Doesn't make sense huh?"

 

Harry sank into the sofa beside him, giving him a long look.

 

"Doesn't make sense at all..." Harry agreed and Louis wondered if they were still talking about his ass or not.

 

"Here," Louis passed him a spoon and opened the carton, Harry shifting closer to share.

 

Louis flicked on the TV in a desperate attempt to find a distraction from the way Harry's beautiful lips looked consuming ice-cream.

 

Harry took the half-eaten carton back to the freezer when they were done and sat back down, staring at Louis' profile as he determinedly watched TV.

 

"Louis," Harry husked, low and raspy.

 

"Hm?" Louis hummed, wincing as he sounded high-pitched and breathy.

 

Harry wriggled closer, turning his lips to Louis' ear.

 

"Why won't you kiss me?" He asked.

 

Louis swallowed.

 

"Because we're friends..." he offered, frowning a little. Since when did Harry want to kiss him anyway? Since when was this a _thing_? Maybe Harry missed having a Zayn to play with...

 

"Look at me," Harry begged.

 

Louis bit into his lip, swallowing before he looked over. Harry was leaned toward him, all lazy, seductive eyes and messy, seductive curls. Louis tried not to think about his lips but his gaze was drawn there against his will.

 

"We can't," Louis breathed, confused at his own words.

 

Why couldn't they? What was the reason again? Because the likelihood of a guy like Harry wanting to kiss him wasn't going to occur very often and Louis was keening toward the idea of it really. Even if it only happened once and he regretted it forever. He could say a guy like Harry had wanted to kiss him and he'd let him.

 

Harry blinked, slow and thoughtful. Louis could almost see the question flit across his eyes, _we can't?_ Louis took deep, deep breaths and scrabbled for the reasons still, those were still out of his grasp and he willed them back fervently.

 

They just weren't coming and he was halfway to leaning in towards Harry when the door went, signalling Zayn's arrival home.

 

Louis sucked in a surprised breath and leaned back, realising how close he was to giving in to the pull of Harry's lips. Harry's everything, really. He looked over the back of the sofa with a confused,

 

"Zayn?"

 

Zayn looked up, shocked to hear another voice, guilt instantly flooding his face.

 

"Oh shit, bro, I'm so sorry..." He began breathlessly, pushing a hand through his hair unsteadily.

 

Louis jumped up, flicking a quick look to Harry who nodded his approval for Louis to go to his friend.

 

"What's wrong?" Louis asked, cupping his arms gently.

 

"Me and Pez had a fight..." Zayn admitted shakily. "I might have taken something. That might be why we had a fight..."

 

Louis sighed out, rubbing his arm a little.

 

"Come on, let's get you to bed, hey?"

 

"Never liked you like that, Lou, but I don't mind cuddling if you're up for it..."

 

Zayn's words died in his throat as he passed the sofa where Harry was ducked low, not visible from the doorway.

 

"Hey, didn't realise you were here," Zayn greeted as he passed by, then looked to Louis. "Lou, did I interrupt? Why didn't you say? I can go, you know..."

 

Louis slipped an arm around Zayn's shoulders and guided him into his room, expertly ridding him his outer clothes and pulling a hoodie on before he made sure Zayn was safely curled in his bed.

 

"It's fine, okay? You live here, too," Louis pointed out.

 

"But you and Harry-"

 

"It's fine," Louis repeated, stroking his hair before turning out the main light and leaving the side light on for Zayn's comfort.

 

When Louis came back into the living room, Harry was standing and had his jacket draped over his arm. Louis felt disappointment stab him in the chest, right where his heart fitted painfully. _Shit_.

 

"Oh, you're going," Louis expressed, frowning with a twist of his lips. Louis the Loser had succeeded again.

 

Harry frowned, started forward. "I-"

 

"No, it's okay," Louis assured. _It really wasn't okay_. "I get it."

 

Louis seemed to get a lot considering Harry hadn't actually said anything.

 

Harry hesitated.

 

"Can I see you again?" He asked.

 

Louis looked up, surprised. _Really? Harry wanted to do this again?_

 

"Uh...yeah, I think so," Louis considered.

 

"I'll text you?" Harry checked.

 

Louis saw him to the door, opened it with a bemused expression and looked up the few inches to Harry's face. He hadn't bothered to shower after all. His hair had extra curl as a result of his sweating on it during the recording session. Louis didn't mind the sweat for the result.

 

"Text me," Louis murmured in agreement, confused as to why his brain was shouting at him for using the wrong words. _Kiss me, you fool, not text me!_

"Alright," Harry brightened at that, turning in a little toward Louis and Louis was sure he was going in for the kiss they'd just missed but he leaned down, pressed his lips to Louis' cheek and ambled out, long legs and hunky body fading down the stairwell.

 

Louis shut the door and slid his back down until his backside hit the ground. He sank his head into his hands. _Now what?_

 

//

 

Louis had stopped counting how many times he'd seen Harry now. (That was a lie, this was the seventh time).

 

Harry had caught him at his usual haunt- the coffee house and Louis wondered if somebody wasn't dobbing him in to Harry as to his whereabouts. He entirely blamed Zayn for this suspicion.

 

"Hey," Harry beamed, sinking into the sofa beside Louis where Louis was reading some of the work his Youth Group had completed.

 

"Harry," Louis greeted.

 

"You busy?" Harry wondered.

 

Louis stacked his papers into a neat-ish pile and turned his attention to the sex-god beside him.

 

"Never where you're concerned," he assured.

 

Harry arched a brow at that, piqued.

 

"Right, okay..."

 

Louis realised Harry didn't believe him, Probably because he tried to be as busy as possible as far as Harry was concerned. Less chance of seeing him, less chance of liking him, less chance of falling in love...

 

Still love was a crazy leap and Louis dismissed it.

 

"What's up?" Louis asked.

 

Harry shrugged, suddenly looking sad. Louis hadn't seen him look sad before. Not even when he was crying.

 

Harry picked at the rim of his cardboard cup.

 

"I got a rejection letter from another music company," he shared.

 

Louis o'd his mouth, genuinely shocked.

 

"What?"

 

He'd heard Harry's vocals for the collaboration with Zayn and he was amazing. He hadn't heard any of his own stuff yet but he could bet it was just as good if not better.

 

Harry nodded, biting his lip.

 

"I'm up to eight," he sighed despondently.

 

Louis flicked his eyes over Harry's hunched form and decided quickly on action.

 

"Hey," he said, slipping an arm around his shoulders and shifting to make sure it fit all the way across his broadness. "Hey, no wallowing, okay?"

 

Harry nodded but Louis didn't feel the meaning behind it.

 

"You'll find a record deal, okay?" Louis rubbed his arm in comfort. "I'm sure of it, it'll happen, you just have to keep trying..."

 

"I just-it's so hard...being rejected," Harry whispered and Louis knew exactly how Harry felt.

 

He squeezed with his arm until Harry seemed to give into his subtle persuasion, pitching into his shoulder. Louis pressed his chin into Harry's curls.

 

"It's okay, you might get a few more, but every 'no' is a step to the right 'yes'," Louis bolstered. "It's what's meant to be and it'll happen."

 

Harry slipped his arms around Louis' waist and held on while Louis comforted him and Louis didn't care that they were in the middle of a public coffee house right now because Harry needed him and he hadn't needed him since the day they'd first met. Louis would give anything for Harry to curl into his lap right now but he guessed that was a wish too far because Harry stirred, looking up bashfully.

 

"Sorry," he offered, his voice husk-ruined with emotion.

 

Louis brushed Harry's fringe away.

 

"Don't be." He frowned. "That's what I'm here for."

 

Harry swallowed, still hurt, still numb with the feeling of being told 'no' too many times. Louis watched him carefully.

 

"Can I take you out?" Louis asked.

 

Harry looked stunned.

 

"Tonight?" he checked.

 

Louis nodded.

 

"I guess...yeah," Harry agreed hesitantly.

 

Louis smiled, biting his lip.

 

"I'll pick you up? Say eight?"

 

Harry shrugged.

 

"Good for me."

 

Louis nodded, going back to his pages once Harry had left the coffee shop but none of the words written there made sense in his brain. They were just words, had no conjecture or meaning. He wondered when Harry's hold over his brain would fade. He might be waiting a long while he mused. A real long while.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much everyone :)
> 
> Ang

Meeting number eight at eight pm. What were the chances?

 

Louis hovered nervously outside Harry's house, shifting his weight from foot to foot and checking his outfit again. He'd put on black skinny jeans, a t-shirt and a suit jacket over it to smarten it up a little. His hair was pretty much a wreck on his head. But he'd let Zayn style it and Zayn had told him boys liked it that way. Louis had arched his brow but with no time to tame it, had left the birds nest in place.

 

Harry opened his door looking breathtaking. He had on his signature black, tight jeans, tan suede boots and a black t-shirt under a wide necked grey jumper that Louis wanted to wrap his hands into and tug until Harry was flush with him. Harry's hair was tamed by a beanie and Louis wanted to tug it out of his curls and run his fingers through those, too.

 

He cleared his throat, eyes flaring with his sudden thoughts.

 

"Ready?" He asked.

 

Harry nodded, stepping out of his house and following Louis to the car where they climbed in, kind of quiet and awkward considering Louis was meant to be cheering Harry up.

 

"So, I hope you can skate," Louis said as he pulled out into the street to start their journey.

 

Harry's gaze dashed to him.

 

"What?"

 

"I'm taking you ice-skating," Louis shrugged, concentrating on his turn. "There's a great diner right by the rink that you'll love..."

 

Harry frowned.

 

"I will?"

 

"They have an old fashioned juke box," Louis shared.

 

Harry smirked.

 

"Do I get to chat you up over it?"

 

Louis passed him a quick glance.

 

"We'll see," he teased lightly.

 

Harry was rummaging around in his pocket and Louis found in minorly distracting, not least when Harry tugged out a leather collar- not the one he'd worn that night at the party, but a slimmer one, one with braiding down the centre and no buckles. It looked more like a choker as Harry fastened it into place. Louis tried not to notice how his heartbeat raced and his groin tingled in excitement.

 

Harry suited his collars, it was almost unreal how good he looked. Louis wondered if he really got chatted up so much that he needed such a blatant sign to keep suitors at bay but he didn't need to look at Harry again to know that was definitely the case. He was probably inundated with offers. It wasn't that Louis was insecure it was just-

 

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He was jealous, just like Harry had correctly guessed at meeting number five. And the fact Harry had brought a collar to wear on _their_ date just made him even more uncomfortable in his seat. He might even be getting hard at the thought of it.

 

When Louis parked up at the rink, he flicked a look across the car, his gaze dropping to the leather choker around Harry's neck. He sucked in a breath and forced himself to get out of the car, subtly adjusting himself before he strode toward the entrance, needing the cool air of the ice-rink more than anything right now.

 

//

 

Harry was like Bambi on ice-skates to start with. The good thing was he learned quickly and was soon skating around with boyish enthusiasm; clinging to Louis' hand as Louis glided easily along, accomplished in this art.

 

"Are you a figure skater?" Harry asked.

 

Louis made a face.

 

"Hockey player, get it right..."

 

Harry laughed loud and short, covering his mouth and knocking himself off his balance a little. Louis swooped across the expanse of ice created between their out-stretched arms and slipped his arm around Harry's waist to steady him, stopping his fall.

 

"Really, you play?" Harry asked, not sure if Louis was joking.

 

"A recreational team," Louis shared. "I'm a bit small to go pro."

 

Harry looked down on him.

 

"Not too small," he mumbled and Louis grabbed his hand again to work up some momentum to gently pull Harry along.

 

"There's some power in these thighs," Louis grinned, flashing his teeth as he looked behind him to Harry who was flagging.

 

"Some sexiness too!" Harry called back, unafraid.

 

He giggled as a little girl frowned at him.

 

Louis slowed down, came close so he and Harry were side by side again.

 

"Fancy a race?" He posed.

 

Harry flicked him a look.

 

"You'll win." He said flatly.

 

"I'll give you a head start," Louis bargained.

 

They picked a quiet corner of the rink, threading through other skaters carefully- or not-so-carefully in Harry's case-Louis still managed to get to the other side first, despite his generous lead given to Harry.

 

Harry didn't seem to know how to stop and Louis caught him with arms around his waist, crushed into the plexi-glass around the arena, Harry crowding his smaller body with his tallness.

 

"Fuck, don't they have brakes?" Harry pressed his hands to the plexi, panting wildly.

 

Louis swallowed, looking up.

 

"Guess not," he murmured, his fingers lifting to trace the leather plaiting on the collar, more out of curiosity than anything.

 

Harry made a growling sound in his throat and it vibrated the material under Louis' fingers.

 

"Sorry," Louis let go, biting his lip and looking down.

 

Harry reached for his hand, brought it back up, shaped Louis' fingers to cup his neck and let Louis tug ever so gently with his fingertips at the leather laid there. And Harry couldn't have not kissed him if he'd tried. The moment was perfect and unavoidable. He had Louis trapped, had him right where he wanted him...

 

He tilted Louis' jaw up with the heel of his hand, slanting his head to make the perfect angle and Louis gasped in a soft breath of air just as Harry came close which was perfect because his lips were parted just right for Harry to own.

 

And Harry did. He went for Louis' lower lip first, sucking there oh-so-sweetly before brushing their lips together, taking bolder strokes as he gained confidence. The weirdest thing was that Louis was reacting- taking part. Harry had expected the shorter man to push him away to deny this moment for longer but Louis was-

 

_Moaning._

 

Louis was moaning in his throat at the feel of Harry's lips upon his and he was pushing upwards in trying to reach, trying to apply pressure and it was all Harry could do to wrap Louis in his arms and shuffle to press them against the plexi in a vain attempt to keep balance because he was sure his knees were going to give way with the way Louis was kissing him back, all _soft_ and _sweet_ and everything that Harry had suspected Louis would be when he kissed.

 

 _Addictive_.

 

"Excuse me, sir?" A tap came on Harry's shoulder, pulling him from the best feeling ever.

 

He couldn't help his frown at the steward.

 

"Can you leave the ice, please," the steward asked with raised brows.

 

Harry blinked. _Why?_ _What was happening?_ He felt Louis' hands press against his chest and blinked confusedly at him.

 

"Guess we should do this somewhere less public," Louis murmured.

 

Harry licked his lips, getting it.

 

"Oh," he nodded, shifting back awkwardly.

 

His skates seemed to get tangled or something or his knees didn't work anymore, because he slipped right over; landing on his butt. He closed his eyes as a blush crept across his cheeks. _Great_. Smooth, Styles, really smooth.

 

"Haz? You okay?"

 

Louis' nickname almost made the mortification worth it. Almost. Not quite.

 

"Open your eyes..." Louis teased huskily and Harry broke open one eye into a squint, finding the smile on Louis' face worth opening both eyes for. His eyes were crescent-shaped, crinkled and almost-shut with happiness.

 

"Glad you find this funny," he sulked, sitting up.

 

Louis dug his toe picks into the ice and offered Harry his hands.

 

"Come on, let me buy you dinner..."

 

Harry reached forward with a motive to do so. Louis pulled him up, stronger than Harry maybe gave him credit for. He paused as he came upright, wanting to pull Louis into his arms again, wanting to kiss him again. Louis maybe sensed it and turned for the exit, grasping his hand to lead him off the icy surface and into safety.

 

//

 

As Harry tucked into a burger, Louis was having trouble remembering what day it was. He was having trouble _breathing_ in fact. And it had a lot to do with Harry's surprisingly tender kiss. He was considering the fact that the ice-rink hadn't melted over that hotness and wondered if all the heat hadn't dissipated in his own veins leaving him feeling flushed and scratchy with unease.

 

Kissing Harry had been amazing. And not to be repeated, of course. No. Kissing was _bad_ , kissing was _really bad_....

 

"Not hungry?" Harry asked across the table and Louis looked to his plate, realising he had a French fry pinched between his fingers but hadn't actually consumed it yet.

 

He went about pushing it into his mouth and reminding himself how to chew.

 

"So, do you like skating?" Louis asked innocently, eyeing his burger, not sure his churning stomach could digest that.

 

Harry's smile came with deep dimples and seductive eyes.

 

"Yeah," he said, all suggestion at what exactly he had enjoyed the most about their time on the ice.

 

Louis nodded, finding words difficult as his brain shorted out. Harry wanted to kiss him again. Had enjoyed it so much the first time he wanted more. What was with that?

 

"Glad to hear it," Louis brushed over Harry's dark look and tried to ignore the clenching in his lower belly and lower, where his ass also tightened in excitement.

 

His ass could just forget it, he mused. There was no way anything of that nature was going to happen. Not with Harry. No way.

 

"Took my mind of things," Harry offered. "Puts it into perspective," he added.

 

Louis pointed to his burger.

 

"Do you want this? I'm not as hungry as I thought..."

 

Harry gazed at him, about to tell him off Louis was sure. But he took the offered free food and attacked it with gusto.

 

"So, the night is young..." Harry led.

 

Louis considered his words. Yes, he supposed it was. Two young guys, skating, dinner and-

 

Well, and what?

 

"You want to come by and play FIFA?" Louis offered.

 

Harry blinked, chewing slowly. The look in his eyes told Louis the last thing he wanted to do was play FIFA and Louis suddenly regretted inviting him.

 

"Sure," Harry smiled in a way that led Louis to believe he was amused.

 

He thought Louis was offering as a cover- a code for something else. As much as Louis would love to spend the rest of the night on the sofa under Harry's heavy body he still had the thing to consider. The thing that kept them apart.

 

His eyes flicked to Harry's collar as if in remembrance.

 

"What's it like, wearing it?" he asked, not realising his question sounded out of nowhere to Harry who had no idea of Louis' thoughts.

 

Harry bit his lip.

 

"Sexy," he answered honestly, his voice a husk. "You want to try it?"

 

Louis' eyes darted up, his lips parted in shock.

 

"Would it fit me?"

 

Harry smirked, reaching to the back of his neck to unclasp it.

 

"It's adjustable..." Harry showed him the chain that connected the two edges, there was a clasp to hook through the chain link.

 

"Oh," Louis hitched a breath, eyes meeting Harry's.

 

"You don't have to..."

 

Louis gave up on eating and stood, Harry standing too and coming behind Louis, looping the leather around his neck. He left it loose to start with.

 

"That's the last link," Harry said.

 

Louis wasn't sure how to say it, so he cleared his throat and blurted it out.

 

"You can do it tighter," he managed.

 

Louis wasn't sure but he thought he heard Harry swallow loudly, a sound coming from his throat. He leaned back instinctively and Harry leaned closer, drawing the collar close to Louis' skin, but not tight enough to press.

 

"A little more?" Louis said over his shoulder.

 

Harry took it in a little and clipped it into place.

 

"That'll do," he husked, stepping away.

 

Louis turned, looking up at him expectantly, fingering the leather choker and feeling the rough surface of the braiding along it.

 

"Well?" He asked hopefully.

 

Harry's lips were parted in awe.

 

"Wow," he expressed quietly, tucking his hands in his jeans pockets.

 

"Does it suit me?" Louis lifted his chin, grinning.

 

"I'll say," Harry murmured.

 

"I might pay, if we're finished?" Louis said then.

 

Harry nodded, numbly following him out to the car.

 

//

 

They were playing FIFA.

 

Somewhere in Harry's mind he'd imagined Louis' invite to be a cover, a pathetic excuse to keep some normality to their night when all he really wanted to do was roll Louis' lovely little body underneath his and kiss him forever. Maybe longer.

 

He tried to concentrate but Louis was pressed into his side, all small curves and jabbing elbow. It was distracting. Not to mention the bloody collar he hadn't taken off.

 

After two more games, Harry stretched, making to leave as he shifted forward on the sofa.

 

"Guess I should be off," he sighed.

 

Louis frowned, Harry twisted and caught it.

 

"Why don't you crash here?" Louis asked.

 

Harry blinked.

 

"Yeah?"

 

Louis smiled.

 

"Zayn's at Perrie's again. You can take the sofa, if you like..."

 

 _Oh_.

 

"Oh." Harry said.

 

Louis got up and dug out some bedding; folding some spare clothes on top of the stack as he brought it back in to the living room.

 

Harry sucked in a breath for courage and stood, crowding Louis as he leaned back from placing the pile of bedding down. Louis looked up at him confusedly. Harry's arms which had caged around Louis, now lowered and his hands slipped onto his hips.

 

"Can't I share with you?" Harry asked, husky and begging.

 

Louis swallowed. It felt so good, Harry's hands on him. On his hips of all places. He wondered what they'd feel like on his behind....he absolutely did _not_ flutter inside at the thought.

 

Louis looked down, succeeded in getting a good view of Harry's t-shirted torso.

 

"I...uh-"

 

Harry bit into his lower lip hard. He was pushing. Too hard, too fast. Louis needed time, needed patience. He was just too eager, too much, too soon.

 

"I'll be okay here," he stepped back, picking through the pile to start making his bed, alleviating Louis' need to find words to express his thoughts.

 

Harry wondered if he'd ever understand what was going on in Louis' head.

 

"Um. Do you want your...thing back?" Louis asked, tugging at the collar.

 

Harry's gaze flicked to his throat, wanting to kiss there, to suck bruises into that pure skin more than anything,. The strength of his need was almost overwhelming. He'd never needed anything so badly before. _Wanted_ it yes, desired it, enjoyed the intense pleasure. But with Louis it went deeper than that. He _needed_ it, like he needed air. He didn't even know if Louis liked being love-bitten.

 

"You keep it," Harry offered. "I have plenty more."

 

Louis lost the ability to breathe at that revelation.

 

"Oh." he cleared his throat to kick-start his lungs.

 

Harry looked over his shoulder as Louis hesitated.

 

"I'll get you one....a nice one that's just yours," he promised.

 

Louis flicked him a look, awed out of speech momentarily.

 

"Okay...thanks....yeah-good," he muttered non-sensically, turning for his room.

 

It took him four hours to get to sleep with the knowledge that Harry was in his living room (and could've have been in his bed if he'd allowed). It was a rough night for all concerned.

 

//

 

Maybe not Harry. Harry was sound asleep when Louis rose, his arms folded and burrowed into the back of the sofa cutely. Louis still found it hard to redeem this Harry against the one he'd found in Zayn's bed.

 

 

He wondered how often Harry indulged in his fetishes, if his body was marked in any way now. His question was answered as Harry shifted and the cover dropped a little to show off the clear, pale expanse of skin across his shoulders. Not a mark. No hint of lashes or bruises or anything else...

 

Louis headed for the kitchen, putting on the kettle.

 

"Harry, tea," he gently cupped Harry's shoulder to murmur in his ear.

 

"Hm?" Harry turned a little, twisting to face outwards as he woke up slowly.

 

Louis had put their mugs on the coffee table and perched on the edge of the sofa. Harry leaned up to make room and Louis slipped into the end seat only for Harry to lay back down, curling his torso in his lap. His curls rubbed Louis' thighs through his joggers.

 

"Uh...morning," Louis lay a hand in Harry's hair and stroked gently.

 

"Hi, Lou," Harry breathed, the shortening of his name sending shock-waves down his already sensitised body.

 

Nobody should be presented with Harry before he was fully awake and full dressed, it was just an unfair attack on the senses, Louis considered. No wonder Harry liked rough-play, he was pretty sure not many men would be able to resist ravaging him when he was this appealing.

 

Harry stirred, lifting his head, turning it towards Louis' lap.

 

"Morning _little_ Lou," he added with an adorable grin that not only forgave Louis the hard reaction in his lap, but said a lot about his feelings on that particular development.

 

He shuffled forward a little so that Louis' hard-on wasn't pressing into the back of his head anymore. Louis planted his hand over his face and pinched the bridge of his nose. _Shit_.

 

"Morning glory, huh?" Harry mused.

 

Louis sighed, knocking his head back, his free hand that wasn't in Harry's curls cupping his muscled arm.

 

"Sorry," he offered quietly.

 

Harry groaned, wriggled a little.

 

"Are you kidding? It's nice to know I'm not alone," Harry mused.

 

Louis bit his lip. This was heading toward a conversation he was dreading having. After their kiss yesterday, it seemed even more important to have it.

 

"I'm a vanilla guy, Harry," he pointed out although he'd have thought that was bloody obvious from the start.

 

Harry twisted a little, Louis caught the edge of a furrow on his brows.

 

"I know," he acknowledged softly, pouting.

 

Louis took a breath for courage.

 

"You like spice....and that's okay but we don't go," Louis sighed, reminded once again of his short-comings.

 

He'd tried so hard to avoid these thoughts, too. Tried to pretend that he and Harry could be compatible in a perfect world. Unfortunately nothing was perfect.

 

Harry swallowed, biting at his lip.

 

"What if I wanted to try vanilla?" He posed.

 

Louis flicked his gaze over Harry's shoulders, not sure whether to laugh or cry. He chose the former, just a short breath of amused air pushing out through his lips.

 

"No..." he shook his head. "We both know you wouldn't be happy with plain old me."

 

"You won't even let me try?" Harry asked.

 

Louis gazed at his prone body for long, long moments, glad in a way he didn't have the challenge of Harry's intense gaze. He trained back Harry's fringe with gentle fingers, just like he was used to doing. He tugged the cover over his shoulders to keep him warm.

 

"I could get hurt," Louis predicted.

 

Harry blinked sadly as his lips turned downwards like he was about to cry.

 

_I wouldn't hurt you._

Louis felt like the bad person here even though his heart ripped painfully at his chest with the thought of never having Harry. It was like his heart wanted to clamber out of his rib cage, have Harry and be hurt by him rather than not have him at all. Louis wondered why his head was following that path of destruction but reigned it back in.

 

"Can we still be friends?"

 

Harry's voice was a whisper and Louis didn't know why it broke his heart to hear it. Harry was curling into his thighs like Louis might forcibly remove him at any second. Truth was, Louis liked having Harry in his lap way too much.

 

"I hope so," Louis offered, swallowing hard against the husk of emotion in his throat.

 

Harry reached for the mugs, passing Louis one over his head, sipping from the other before laying it back down, settling in Louis' lap.

 

Louis ran his soothing hands over him until he eased back into sleep.

 

//

 

Nine lives, right? Nine times. Was this their limit?

 

Louis watched as Harry loped into the coffee house, guitar-case in hand. He couldn't help the way his eyes clung to Harry's thighs, the way his fluid hips moved, the way he nearly always looked fucked out. It made his hand twitchy, made him want to learn how to like smacking the shit out of someone just to have a chance with him.

 

He'd let Harry sleep in his lap until he woke again a couple of hours later, heading home with unusual sheepishness that Louis wasn't accustomed to seeing. He'd texted Harry to come good on his promise to be friends but it was Harry who had been vague and distant for once. Louis had come to the coffee house every day in the hope Harry would show up.

 

Now he was here, he couldn't quite work out how to regulate his heartbeat.

 

"So," Harry sank into the seat beside him on the favourite sofa.

 

Louis flicked his eyes to the blue cotton band around Harry's neck. It wasn't tight, it sat low on his throat much like a head-band before being pushed into his hair, but it was an ode to his collar, Louis was sure.

 

"Trying new materials?" Louis asked, tugging at the band.

 

Harry smiled secretly.

 

"It's for my hair..."

 

Louis nodded, smirking. It wasn't _in_ his hair so he didn't quite believe that.

 

"Nice colour," he commended.

 

"Like your eyes," Harry said back and it was so relaxed Louis might have missed it. Might have. _Didn't_. He choked on a gulp of shocked air.

 

He reached for his tea, took a few mouthfuls and licked his lips before turning back to Harry.

 

"You playing a few songs, then?" He asked, bypassing the moment.

 

Harry shrugged.

 

"Not really in the mood..."

 

Louis looked to his lap, fiddled with his hands. _Yeah_ , _he probably had that effect on people_.

 

"Never mind," he forced a smile. "How's things been?"

 

It had been just over a week, nothing major but things felt suddenly final. Like their last meeting couldn't be taken back, like that conversation had sealed the coffin closed once and for all. Louis wanted to get the wrong end of a hammer and yank out all the nails, throw the lid away and dive right in. He always wanted to dive right in where Harry was concerned.

 

"Same old," Harry supplied. "Gigging, writing, missing you..."

 

Louis darted him a look, not sure if he'd heard right.

 

Harry's gaze back told him he had. _Fuck_. Why did he have to give him those long, intense stares like Louis was all he needed to survive? It wasn't fair, along with the way Harry was first thing in the morning being not fair. More evidence that Louis wasn't meant to resist the temptation the lanky lad offered. He kept reminding himself why he was fighting it.

 

_You don't hit guys, you don't hit guys._

 

"I missed you too."

 

The words were out and Louis frowned at that. Just what the fuck was his brain thinking? Clearly it wasn't, it had packed up and left the vicinity. Harry's hopeful glance made him blush. _Shit_. What was he saying?!

 

"Can I see you?"

 

Louis still found it incredible that Harry felt the need to ask. Any guy (or girl for that matter) in this room right now, would trip over their own feet to be asked those words. Louis even caught a girl at the next table looking over in the hope he'd been speaking to her. She sighed wistfully as she realised he wasn't, then flicked Louis a scathing look. He could feel her suffering, he really could.

 

"Okay," Louis agreed, biting his lip.

 

He always got nervous at the thought of being alone with Harry. And they hadn't kissed in too long, was maybe such a long-gone memory for Harry that he didn't plan on doing it again. After all they'd decided. Vanilla wasn't enough. Well, _Louis_ had decided. He frowned thoughtfully. Harry had wanted to try. He hadn't let him. Maybe he could, he considered. He did miss him. Terribly. Too much for _friends_.

 

"My place?" Harry suggested. "I'll cook..."

 

Louis nodded.

 

"Sounds nice..."

 

"No pressure," Harry added quickly, ducking his head.

 

"No, of course," Louis reached out to cup Harry's knee, lifting his hand to brush back Harry's fringe.

 

"Tonight?" Harry suggested.

 

"What time?" Louis asked back.

 

"Seven?" Harry offered.

 

Louis took it.

 

"See you then..."

 

Harry got up, lifted his guitar case and headed out, rendering Louis useless for work once more.

 


	5. Chapter 5

 

Harry was making pasta of some description and the sauce smelled amazing.

 

Louis was perched on one of his breakfast bar stools watching him work and Harry scooped up a sample of sauce on the tip of a wooden spoon, carrying it over with his other cupped under it to catch any splashes.

 

"Try?" Harry offered, his big body relaxed in his home environment. He was wearing soft grey jeans with rips in them and a distressed grey tee, his hair long and loose.

 

Louis leaned forward, sucking up the liquid. He shot Harry a pleasantly surprised look.

 

"Good," he commended, earning a dimpled grin from Harry.

 

Louis thought he could sit here forever watching him cook.

 

"Okay, I'll plate up," Harry decided, pouring the pasta into the sauce and swirling it until they were combined, shaking parmesan over it one it was dished up.

 

They sat on the stools, knees touching.

 

"So how's the Youth Group?" Harry asked gently as he ate.

 

Louis flicked him a look.

 

"Same as usual, hard work and worth every second."

 

Harry nodded, licking his lips.

 

"Thought you'd like to come to one of my gigs," he broached then. "I'm playing one tomorrow..."

 

Louis o'd his mouth in stunned surprise.

 

"Yeah...absolutely...really?" He checked, bemused.

 

Harry smiled a little, nodding.

 

"I'd like you to."

 

"Right....yeah, I'd love to," Louis accepted eagerly, swallowing hard.

 

Harry hadn't really shown him his talent yet, seemed to protect it somewhat. Not that Louis minded but this...this was-

 

 _This was trying_.

 

He should really try and work out how to try back.

 

"Thanks for inviting me," Louis added.

 

Harry made a little one-sided lip curl.

 

"I don't usually," he admitted then. "Invite people I mean. Zayn asked me to do that track as a favour but usually I don't let people listen to me sing..."

 

"Why not?" Louis wondered, genuinely curious.

 

Harry shrugged.

 

"It's letting them in I guess."

 

Louis took a moment to consider that. Yes, it was letting people in by sharing your inner-most thoughts- _and lyrics_ \- with them. And he'd invited Louis. Never invited anyone else before but asked Louis to go. That surely meant something? It surely meant a lot.

 

Louis leaned across the gap between them and slid his hand through the gap by Harry's elbow where his arm rested on the table. He let the palm of his hand gently brush down towards Harry's wrist and he grasped there with tender claim, not able to take Harry's hand since he was grasping his fork.

 

"Thank you," Louis expressed, leaning right across to press a kiss to Harry's cheek.

 

Harry turned a little, a slight frown of confusion marring his features. He let the fork slip from his fingers and curled them into his palm, touching the tips to the edge of Louis' fingers that circled his wrist. It was a silent invitation and Louis took it, threading his smaller digits through Harry's larger ones, letting their fingers twine loosely, angled but not curled.

 

When Harry's gaze met his, his lip sucked into his mouth, Louis suddenly _got it_. It was like lightening flashing and making everything to sharp and crystal clear that it was a miracle he hadn't got it before. Harry was afraid. Maybe as afraid as Louis was. Afraid of _letting him in_ , afraid of _trying_. And Louis' reasons for being afraid were completely different to Harry's. Maybe in another Universe but it shocked Louis, really so much.

 

Harry had always seemed this very popular, very confident lover who picked his partners at will. Louis was suddenly wondering if any of that was at all true. He almost kicked himself when he asked:

 

"What happened? With Zayn?"

 

Harry's eyes widened in surprise at his question and Louis winced and shook his head, grasping Harry's hand a little tighter as he let his fingers curl into the embrace.

 

"No, don't answer that, it's none of my business..."

 

Harry blinked, leaned across and kissed Louis' temple, nosed at his hair.

 

"Can I kiss you?" He asked, deep and husky.

 

Louis looked at him. Why had he taken to asking? Louis slipped off his stool the same moment Harry did; turning into his body; reaching up to cup his jaw as Harry's arms tightened around his middle and their mouths connected; longing and needy for the contact.

 

Harry was an amazing kisser, really he deserved an award. Louis could imagine him claiming his award, so chuffed to bits he'd won something and the thought of his dimpled smile made Louis groan and press closer; his thumb automatically driving into the groove by Harry's mouth that was present even when kissing.

 

His sound of approval seemed to instigate Harry's hands into moving; claiming his backside in two sure palms, palms that squeezed and rubbed and owned in a way Louis found intensely distracting. He could barely concentrate on enjoying Harry's lower lip, nibbling the skin there, pushing his tongue into his hot, sweet mouth with all that going on and it was hot, so hot, Louis felt like he was melting and hardening in the same moment, not sure which he liked best. Either way, he felt ruined from the inside out and it was all to do with Harry's hands and his lips and the way he-

 

 _Oh_. Oh yes.

 

Louis grasped onto his bulky arms to steady himself as Harry near lifted his feet off the floor in the way he grasped his buttocks so possessively. Louis felt light as a feather and wondered since when he liked being manhandled this way. When his toes touched solid ground again, his hands ran into Harry's hair and he was halfway through a leisurely exploration of that curled mess when a sharp sound split the air.

 

 _Smack_.

 

He gasped, pulled away from the kiss with a disorientated look, darting his eyes to Harry's. A second later, the sting worked its way onto his ass. Harry had smacked him, Right on his butt cheek. And-

 

 _And he'd liked it_.

 

_What?!_

 

"Oh," Louis gulped, panting in air.

 

"Sorry," Harry whispered quickly, rubbing the spot he'd struck. "Sorry, sorry-"

 

"It's okay..." Louis pulled away a little, more out of awkwardness than dislike.

 

Harry was peering at him like a wounded puppy.

 

"I'm so sorry, it was just-you-"

 

Louis flicked him a look, biting his lip.

 

"You like to hit as well as be hit?"

 

Harry blinked and if he was surprised to be discussing his fetishes, he didn't voice it.

 

"I guess?"

 

Louis frowned. That wasn't very clear.

 

"I mean...I didn't plan to...it just happened," Harry clarified.

 

Louis' hands were laying on Harry's chest which was heaving with his breaths, long and laboured as though he was in limbo. His nerves were evident in the way his hands quivered against Louis' back, cupping there to keep him upright. Louis was pretty sure if Harry withdrew his support, he'd slither to the floor and melt into a puddle of goo.

 

"I couldn't bear to see you like that again," Louis ventured, turning back to the day they met. "All those red marks?" He shook his head. "I get that you like it but I couldn't do that...I-"

 

"I don't want you to," Harry assured, tightening his hold to gather Louis closer, as if afraid he would bolt.

 

Louis frowned.

 

"So you don't want _me_?" He checked.

 

Harry gaped, stunned.

 

"What? No! I mean... _yes_ , I do...I want you...without that, without-"

 

"Pain," Louis offered tightly.

 

Harry nodded, sucking his lip again. Louis kissed over his mouth.

 

"How would it work?" He wondered, almost to himself. "How would we make it work?"

 

Harry leaned his forehead to Louis' taking a long breath in.

 

"There's other things...nice things..." he offered.

 

Louis sucked in a breath and he felt like he was inhaling Harry's breath out.

 

"Okay," he agreed shakily, not sure what these 'other things' included, but willing to consider them for the first time.

 

Harry's gaze told him how much he appreciated that.

 

"But first, can I hold you?" Harry asked.

 

Louis smirked bemusedly at him, thinking he was kidding. After groping his ass and smacking it, he wanted to just hold him? Was he crazy?

 

"Are you sure y-"

 

Harry wrapped Louis into his strong arms and held him tight to his body, dancing his hips side to side with a smile as he rubbed their semi-arousals together. Funny how a mere kiss could get them both so up-for-it, Louis mused.

 

"Little Harry is saying 'hi' to Little Lou," Harry murmured in Louis' ear.

 

Louis sucked in a whispery breath, too turned on by baby-speak from Harry's mouth.

 

"Hey, little Haz," Louis breathed, running his lips around the edge of Harry's ear teasingly. "You're not so little, hm?"

 

Harry chuckled breathily; squeezing the air out of Louis' lungs as he tightened his hold.

 

"Okay, I'm dead, you can let go now," Louis teased.

 

Harry pulled back.

 

"So you'll stay?" He checked. "We can share my bed..."

 

Louis lifted his brows, confused for a moment. He'd assumed Harry's request to 'hold him first' meant what they'd shared just now. Obviously not. Harry wanted them to share his bed, probably spooning or some other cutesy thing. Louis' whole body began to beg with him to say yes.

 

He didn't trust his voice so he nodded instead and Harry took his hand and led the way.

 

//

 

Of course, they didn't just jump into bed after dinner.

 

Well, they did but they watched Match Of The Day first and then Die Hard 3 and then they'd had a tug of war with the duvet before shifting into the middle of the bed together; elbows touching where they each clutched their end of the duvet protectively to their chests.

 

"You know, we'd be warmer if we hugged," Harry suggested lazily, pushing his part of the duvet into the gap between them.

 

"Duvet Amnesty?" Louis checked, not entirely trusting him.

 

Harry nodded, pressing his lips together which caused the tiniest dimple to appear in his cheek.

 

"Rather be wrapped in you," Harry decided.

 

Louis wondered what inspired his sweet words, words that he found hard to believe sometimes.

 

"You're the bigger one, Harold," Louis husked warmly. "Think it's me who'd be wrapped in you..."

 

Harry shrugged. "Or that," he agreed easily.

 

Louis wriggled closer, not sure what to do with his arms. Harry's slid over his side so he grasped Harry's shoulder, folding his other arm under his neck, his elbow pressed into the gap between Harry's neck and the bed.

 

Harry adjusted them a little, slid his knee between both of Louis' and kissed his forehead before closing his eyes with a content sigh out.

 

Louis snuggled into him, letting his guard down for the first time since they'd met. He was about to let Harry _hold him_. Like in a sweet, innocent _but in all kinds of ways sexy_ sort of way. He wasn't used to letting people do that, wasn't used to letting people protect him. He had a hard shell and not many people bothered to get to this moment when he finally gave in, let his hardness fall away to leave only his soft inside. It was a lot for him, exposing that very sensitive inside but he was trying. He was trying for Harry.

 

Harry did hold him then, wrapped his big strong arms right around him and leaned back a little so Louis lay against his chest. And he didn't ask the questions, didn't make Louis divulge his darkest secrets, he just murmured into his hair and held Louis until he fell asleep like that- protected and vulnerable; exactly how Harry had been with Louis the day they met.

 

//

 

Little Louis was hard.

 

It was hardly a surprise considering he'd fallen asleep with Harry's thigh between his; now nicely tight and warm where his crotch nestled nicely right by Harry's.

 

He wriggled, wondering how easy it would be to break free. He was still laying on top of Harry's body mostly, Harry's arms wrapped about his middle and their legs deliciously tightly entwined. Harry was out for the count, his beautifully handsome face breathtaking in his slumber. How could a guy look so good asleep for fuck's sake? it just wasn't fair. Nothing was fair.

 

Louis went about tidying Harry's hair with gentle fingers, kissing his chin when he was done. He wriggled again, sliding down a little. He pressed his cheek to base of Harry's throat and listened to the steady thrum of his heart. He sighed out, not knowing why he felt all kinds of brilliant right now.

 

_He was in Harry's bed! Harry had held him all night! He'd been smacked and he hadn't hated it!_

 

There was probably lots to feel brilliant about, really. And of course...they were doing this. They were _trying_.

 

"Jesus, you're hot," Harry's husked, mumbled words stirring Louis from where he'd almost drifted back into sleep.

 

Louis frowned, feeling guilty. He was draped over Harry and probably suffocating him, probably lending too much body heat. He wriggled up again, trying to shift. Harry's arms tightened around him.

 

"Where you going?"

 

"You're too hot," Louis frowned.

 

Harry blinked, smirked.

 

"No, _you're_ too hot," he adjusted. "My crotch is on fire and it's all your fault."

 

Louis licked his lips, decided that wriggling probably wasn't going to help here.

 

"Oh."

 

"Hm, exactly," Harry swallowed, loosening his arms a little as if sensing Louis' desire to escape.

 

Louis let his thighs press either side of Harry's, his hard body pushing there too. He bit at his lip.

 

"My crotch is on fire too," Louis offered, hoping his courage with words was being noted.

 

Harry smiled slowly, eyes slitted.

 

"Really?" he enquired. "Hadn't noticed..."

 

Louis rolled his eyes.

 

"Gentleman never tells," Harry added with a smirk.

 

Louis took two, three slow nervous breaths before kissing Harry. He was on top of him so it wasn't exactly an effort but Harry seemed surprised by the advance because he took a minute to tilt his head the right way and kiss him back.

 

Louis deliberately took his time over the kiss, cupping Harry's face, sinking his fingers into his hair and ruining the work he'd done earlier tidying it up. It didn't matter. Harry's hair was ruined by _him_ now instead of the pillow. When Harry's hands slid lazily down to cup his backside, Louis couldn't help pulling away.

 

Harry looked either side.

 

"Oops," he mused.

 

Louis swallowed.

 

"No, it's okay," he assured. "Just-for a second..."

 

"You thought I was going to smack that," Harry teased, rounding his hand on one of Louis' ass cheeks.

 

Louis ground his hips down in a circle, his hardness brushing Harry's belly, low down where his waistband sat just above his erection. He dipped his head to hide his reaction, to hide his burning cheeks.

 

Harry rubbed his back and clutched his hip.

 

"No pressure," he reminded Louis.

 

Louis nodded, swallowing a sob. He needed to get off and he couldn't do it here. He began to wriggle again. Harry leaned up, laying Louis back against the bed, watching him roll up and head for the bathroom. He frowned as he watched him go. He'd have given anything to have Louis rut against him, _come_ against him. Obviously it was still _too soon_.

 

He folded his arms behind his head and waited.

 

He had all the time in the world.

 

//

 

The bar which Harry was playing at was low-lit and fairly noisy. It was technically their tenth meeting but Louis had long ago given up counting. _Okay, maybe he hadn't_.

 

Louis was wearing black skinnies and a Stone Roses tee with chequered vans, his hair that mess Zayn liked to call sexy. Zayn had helped him do his hair for tonight, teasing Louis about his overnight stay with Harry.

 

Louis wasn't sure how to explain to Zayn that he didn't own the same confidence as his friend in bed, didn't fuck Harry out the way Zayn described and didn't even shoot his load in the same room as Harry. Zayn assumed a lot without Louis having to say anything and he just hoped none of it ever got back to Harry otherwise he'd think Louis was boasting.

 

He took front row seat, of course, kept a seat spare for Harry which he had vacated to set up not long ago. Louis remembered the way he'd ventured shyly out of Harry's bathroom that morning, the way Harry had opened his arms and welcomed him back into them, no questions, no pressure.

 

Louis began to wonder if Harry was real. It was entirely possible he'd imagined him, made up the perfect man in his head to cope with his lackings. As Harry began to sing, he gazed at the stage, taking in Harry's black jeans and khaki-green top with a matching green scarf holding back his curls. And of course, a collar. A brown one this time that had rounded studs along it. He had given the matching leash to Louis who had wrapped it around his wrist like a leather wrist-wrap, fastening the clasp through the handle to keep it there.

 

Harry was amazing. He captivated everyone with his voice, with the beautiful songs he'd written. Louis was mesmerised by him, awed to be shown this peek of the real Harry. He began to wonder where whips came into the whole thing, wondered if he hadn't imagined the red welts on his back or the way he'd called out 'Daddy' several times when Zayn and he were playing.

 

How did a guy who liked subbing suddenly make do with _Louis_?

 

It didn't make sense and Louis didn't want it to, wanted to be perfectly non-sensical and yet real. He wanted Harry to be real.

 

Louis startled as a hand brushed down the back of his head, fingers grazing his skin. He turned, seeing a guy there, tall and handsome. But not Harry. _So_ not Harry.

 

"This seat taken?" The stranger asked.

 

Louis nodded.

 

"You taken?" He queried next.

 

"Yeah...yeah I am," Louis murmured, hoping Harry wouldn't mind.

 

The stranger pinched Louis' earlobe playfully.

 

"Shame, could have had fun with a guy like you..."

 

The guy turned away and Louis arched a brow. _A guy like him? What did that mean, exactly?_

 

He turned back to the stage, caught Harry looking over even as he spoke to the room, apparently introducing his next song.

 

"This one is called Jealousy," Harry introduced and Louis tilted his head, lifting up his wrist.

 

It didn't change the fact Harry had written a song about him, though. About _them_ really, how they danced around this, about how confusing things were before they'd kissed. Louis almost felt like using the leash once Harry was finished his set for the night.

 

He queued at the bar to get him a beer, Harry cuddling into his back as he waited for it to be poured from the tap.

 

"Lou," Harry pressed his cheek into Louis' shoulder.

 

"Hey," Louis smiled, twisting a little to ruffle his hair that he could reach. "You did great."

 

"You're still here," Harry smiled against his back.

 

Louis picked up their two pints and waited for Harry's hug to ease before he turned.

 

"Of course I'm still here," he made a face.

 

Harry wound through the crowd to sink into his seat at their shared table. He was interrupted four times by people complimenting him.

 

He gulped down half his drink and wiped his mouth free of foam.

 

"Thanks, this is perfect," Harry breathed.

 

"I cant believe it," Louis shook his head, awed. "You sing like an angel..."

 

Harry flicked him a look.

 

"Please don't say its my dimples, make me look all innocent," he mused.

 

Louis licked his lips. No, Harry's dimples were the farthest thing from innocent. they were obscene. He wanted to lick them out, right now.

 

"No, that's not it," Louis assured with a darkness to his eyes that he hoped Harry didn't notice.

 

"Who was that guy?" Harry asked then, trying to appear unfazed.

 

Louis sipped his pint.

 

"What guy?"

 

Harry made a face.

 

"The one that came up to you while I was introducing 'Jealousy'," Harry clarified.

 

"Oh, him," Louis shrugged. "No-one important."

 

"Did he ask you out?" Harry enquired.

 

Louis smiled. "Kind of fitting for your song," he offered.

 

Harry sipped his own drink, darting wide eyes to Louis, studying him.

 

"You do look extra-hot tonight," Harry allowed.

 

Louis ducked his head, rubbed sweaty palms on his thighs.

 

"Nah, he just wanted to get to you, I reckon..."

 

Harry rolled his eyes, poking Louis in the ribs.

 

"What did you say?"

 

"That I was taken," Louis admitted.

 

Harry lifted surprised brows, a smile plastering his lips. He went about unclipping the leash on Louis' wrist, unwinding it to fasten the clip to his collar.

 

"Taken," Harry nodded, confirming Louis' words with his action.

 

Louis' gaze flicked from the small brown handle that sat loose on his thin wrist, down the smooth-studded lead and up to the matching collar that Harry was wearing tonight. It was weird, owning him. It was weird being connected in some way. It was weird how much he wanted to prove that ownership with his mouth and his body in several wicked ways his mind conjured up...

 

He fidgeted, feeling antsy all of a sudden.

 

"Uh...did you want to stay a while?" Louis asked, his voice high and breathy.

 

Harry slipped him a look.

 

"You have other ideas?" He teased.

 

Louis shrugged.

 

"Guess we should see how we get on with plain and boring, just in case..."

 

Harry blinked, was up in the next second. He hesitated.

 

"Do I have to lead?" Louis guessed.

 

Harry nodded.

 

Louis kept the handle low so the patrons in the bar wouldn't notice how he was leading Harry out, although a couple of revellers got caught up in their connecting leather and gave surprised gasps as they clocked the situation.

 

Louis lay the lead around his neck as they walked home, Louis carrying Harry's guitar until they got to Harry's place where he laid it down, unclasping the leash and tossing it on the side.

 

Harry pouted.

 

Louis stepped closer, slipped his hands onto Harry's shoulders.

 

"You going to kiss me or what?" He asked.

 

Harry answered with his lips.

 

//

 

Finally, finally, Louis was underneath Harry's deliciously, unfairly gorgeous heavy body. The sofa was the first place they'd managed to sink into; kisses heated and extended, bodies half-undressed with expectation lacing the air. Something was going to happen tonight.

 

Louis had gotten Harry down to his boxers and Harry had flipped them to return the favour, big hands curving over his body as Louis kissed him, dragged his lips down his neck and bit into the leather there, tugging gently.

 

Harry groaned, slipping his hand underneath Louis' boxers band, cupping his naked behind keenly; arching up so that his hips pressed into Louis' needily.

 

"Lou..." he breathed, rutting a little into Louis' hip.

 

Louis climbed off the sofa to vanish for seconds, rushing back breathless with desire as he lay a small bottle on the coffee table; a bottle he'd already seen in Harry's bathroom before and was pleased to see hadn't move positions since his last visit.

 

Harry glanced at it and back at Louis as he lay back against him, atop him once more.

 

"Oh yeah?" Harry arched a brow.

 

Louis dug his hands into the sofa, thumbing Harry's hips, slipping down into the cushions to squeeze his ass, gently pulling his cheeks apart. Harry stiffened and kissed into his neck; silently asking him to ease up. Louis withdrew his exploring touch and grasped at his shoulders instead; straddling his lap to grind there, hands running up Harry's body in petty apology.

 

"I'm sorry," Louis husked, kissing down his chest, licking over his nipple.

 

"No...it's okay," Harry breathed back, cupping Louis' behind in hypocritical need.

 

"You'll tell me, yeah?" Louis whispered against his ear, hot and enquiring.

 

"Yeah," Harry agreed, gently inching his own fingertips into the crack of Louis' ass as Louis' hands trailed down his belly, enjoying his muscled stomach.

 

Louis paused, swallowing.

 

"You can touch me," he said, wondering if it sounded as weird and awkward to Harry as it did to his own ears.

 

Apparently to Harry's ears it was music because he pushed at Louis' boxers band until they were stretched below his butt cheeks, resting under his arousal. Louis bit his lip in self-conscious regard to his penis, to his size, to how he looked.

 

Harry was awed, lips parted, words murmured softly from his lips.

 

"So fucking beautiful...my god...what did I do? Amazing...can't wait to taste you..."

 

Louis groaned, reaching for the lube and pressing it into Harry's hand, prompting him to do something already. He might burn up into a cinder if he kept whispering those stupidly obscene things...

 

Harry lubed up his palm first, took Louis into it tight and hard and stroked, stroked until soft gaps of noise were pulled from Louis' throat, stroked until Louis ground against his hips, stroked while Louis grasped his curls and begged him to _finish him already_. Harry found it hard work ignoring his needy cries.

 

But he knew just what to do, knew exactly what this lube was for and it wasn't for the slickest, tightest hand-job Louis had ever gotten. With his large fist still tight around Louis while Louis fucked up into it, Harry squeezed a blob onto his other two fingers one handed, pressing right against Louis' tight little hole. Louis gasped at the exact moment Harry's lips parted in shock.

 

"Lou...how long?" His eyes flitted over his face.

 

He was so tight...too tight. He wasn't-

 

"You're not a virgin are you?" Harry asked.

 

Louis smiled wryly and bit his lip as pleasure washed over him- a direct result of Harry bending his thumb so that Louis' tip pushed past it every time he rocked his hips up.

 

"No...I promise, you don't need to be gentle..." Louis husked, opening his eyes to stare right at Harry. Harry arched his hips, his painful arousal still tucked away. Tonight was about Louis, he was going to make absolutely sure of it.

 

"Of course I'll be gentle," Harry frowned, dipping one fingertip into the hole that hadn't seen much action of late.

 

Louis bit his lip, began to whimper. couldn't hold back the pleasured little cries from that one, tiny touch. Harry pushed in a little further, feeling the give since Louis was almost there already, so lost in the moment Harry could kiss him and drink him all in if he could.

 

Louis was so guarded, so reluctant to show his emotions and yet here, now-

 

He was a creature of pleasure and he wasn't hiding his need for touch.

 

"More," he gasped, lashes fluttering over his eyes as he stretched back, trying to take more of Harry's digit inside.

 

Harry withdrew to add more lube awkwardly with one hand; pressing back against the ring of muscle with practiced ease.

 

"Oh...fuck!" Louis hissed. "You know what you're doing...how-" He sucked in a breath as Harry slipped one finger all the way in, Louis grasping at it inside. He'd wanted Harry's hands there longer than he could remember, fuck it if he wasn't going to try and keep him there.

 

Harry smiled grimly, deliberately pacing himself. Louis was more than ready for two, could probably take the surprised hit of three, but no...Harry wanted him to clutch at one for a bit.

 

"How many times have you done this?" Louis found the words for his question, lazily dragging his fingers from Harry's chest towards his groin, which he hadn't forgotten was also swollen with need.

 

"Not tonight," Harry grasped his wrist, planted his hand back upon his chest and kissed the inner-side of his wrist. "Not as many times as you're probably thinking," he added.

 

Louis was frowning, both in confusion as to why he didn't get to give back the pleasure Harry was giving and because he couldn't imagine how Harry came to be so good with his hands without a little practice.

 

When he jutted his hips and bit his lip, it was because Harry had slipped in a second finger, working him nicely with a gentle rhythm that Louis' hips seemed to know well. He fucked into Harry's hand to relieve his hard need and rocked back onto his fingers, needing him deep. He reached back, grasped Harry's wrist and tried to push him deeper, hold him there, right where he needed him.

 

Harry grinned, following his direction, seeing the breath stuttering out of Louis' lips as he found the perfect angle and then he pressed in deep, rubbing inside to stretch Louis' muscles from a long period unused apparently.

 

"Why, Louis?" Harry gasped as Louis brushed his own erection laying in his boxers as his thick thighs split across Harry's lap, shunting up and back in a frenzy.

 

He scissored the two inside, felt Louis flutter around him, gave his own anguished cry and pushed in deep, imagining his body there; sinking into the darkest depths of Louis' body.

 

"Wish it was you...wish it was y-"

 

Harry had to stop him talking, sat up and consumed his mouth; licking his tongue into that cavern, bruising his lips with kisses. It was the combination of everything really, of Louis in his lap, of kissing him as he fucked both his hands in different ways, of feeling Louis' strong lithe body reacting to his touch, the way he moaned in his throat and kept his vocals loud enough for Harry to hear just how much he was enjoying him.

 

As much as Harry wanted to be coming undone at Louis' touch, it was so, so much more to watch Louis come undone at his; completely and utterly ruined by his hands. He was tight in one and full with the other, both sides of his body taken over by Harry's hands. Harry sucked a love-bite into his neck as he pulsed to his peak; shooting wet strips of come all over their bodies and Harry's hand.

 

Harry dragged him through it with gentle after-strokes, running his hand up his messy belly to cup his neck, pressing his thumb into the bruise he'd patterned there, letting Louis' desire-drunk kiss slip messily over his lips.

 

"Harry...Haz..." Louis was overwhelmed and Harry didn't expect it.

 

He eased his fingers out of him, curled him in his arms and leaned over where Louis curled around him, almost child-like as he burrowed into his neck, kissing the skin either side of his collar. He tugged at it, pressed close and Harry finally understood what he needed. He needed him to come, to prove to himself that he could do that, bring Harry off.

 

Harry grasped his wildly flailing hand and brought it low, pressing the heel of his palm right against his rigid heat. Louis quickly scrabbled his fingers against the material, pushing the cotton away to grasp Harry's impressive arousal, a gasp catching in his throat at first touch.

 

Louis' head lifted and his wide blue eyes gazed into Harry's as his hand moved slowly up and down.

 

Harry shook his head and stiffened, so close to his edge he couldn't have held back if he'd tried and then he was coming, hot and spectacular, all over Louis' hand and their bodies once more. He panted to catch his breath, staring into Louis' sated face.

 

The smile that gave out on his lips was worth letting him touch. Louis looked like he felt like a sex-god for doing that. And Harry whole-heartedly agreed he was.

 

"Amazing," Louis grinned until his eyes crinkled.

 

Harry nodded, sipping soft kisses from his lips.

 

"Can I shower with you?"

 

Louis wished he'd stop asking. He told him as much. Harry stripped down the bed while Louis started the shower and met him in there, washing and drying them both so that they could fall back into his freshly laundered bed and curl up together; Harry's lips to Louis' temple and Louis' lips right next to his collar.

 

It was a match made in heaven.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I miss them :( I miss them so much :(
> 
> Hope you're liking the story ;)
> 
> Ang

 

Louis wasn't there when Harry woke.

 

He yawned and stretched, rolling over to gaze at the empty side of his bed. A note was laid there that he quickly snatched up, eyes feasting over the words. He read it three times.

 

_Hi_

_Hi to Big Harry too ;)_

_Had to go to work...just so you don't think I crept out._

_See you soon?_

_L_

Harry rolled up with a renewed smile, heading to the coffee-house as soon as he was dressed.

 

//

 

Louis was being quizzed by Zayn as he quickly got ready before heading down to the coffee house. He'd dashed home from work with barely any time to make himself look presentable but he'd tried.

 

"So, bro, tell me how its going?" Zayn asked of his relationship with Harry.

 

Louis shrugged.

 

"I guess we're dating."

 

"Dating?" Zayn arched a brow. "Christ, he must like you..."

 

"Why?" Louis frowned worriedly.

 

"No, I just-I...didn't think he dated, that's all."

 

"Does he sleep around?" Louis asked bluntly.

 

Zayn shook his head with a chuckle.

 

"I know you're wondering how he and I came to...well, you know," he rolled his eyes.

 

Louis turned.

 

"Will you tell me?" Louis wondered.

 

Zayn shrugged.

 

"Truth is, Harry likes a party. He's a friendly guy...like I told you, I was buying his drinks and he didn't mind that..."

 

"And?" Louis pushed.

 

"And when we staggered back here before we both drank too much to get hot'n'heavy, I showed him my toy box and he picked something out...honestly, all I know is that he's been single awhile. That's why I targeted him- figured he'd be the most up for a shag."

 

Louis recoiled at Zayn's somewhat uncaring words.

 

"You should try and treat people better," Louis suggested.

 

"Lou, you say that every time I bring a new guy home..."

 

Louis lifted his brows. "Because it's true and you never change."

 

Zayn shrugged. "I'm with Pez now, ennit?"

 

"So treat her nice," Louis chided.

 

"Wait, you really like Harry, don't you?" Zayn guessed quickly.

 

Louis nodded, not feeling the need to lie.

 

"Yeah, actually, I do..."

 

"Do you think you're not good enough or some shit because that's total bollocks..."

 

Louis pressed his lips together.

 

"I don't-" he sighed. "It's about Harry and what he likes," Louis admitted. "And how I can't give it to him."

 

"Give him what you've got," Zayn advised. "I bet it's more than enough."

 

Louis nodded, forcing a smile onto his lips. He really hoped so.

 

"Lou," Zayn frowned, fiddling with his hands, looking into his lap.

 

"Hm?" Louis looked over, waiting.

 

Zayn looked pained and Louis shifted around, cupping his arm.

 

"What is it Zayn?" He asked.

 

Zayn flicked his big brown eyes up.

 

"I...I didn't actually fuck Harry," he said, sighing out, rubbing a fist over his forehead.

 

Louis froze, stiffening in his seat.

 

"What?"

 

Zayn rolled his eyes, threw himself backwards onto Louis' bed.

 

"Look, it didn't matter before. It does now," he ventured. "I didn't want to admit I'd had a sleepover with no action."

 

Louis swallowed, flicking Zayn a look.

 

"So...what _did_ you do?" Louis asked. He'd seen Zayn's come...had seen it on Harry's _ass_.

 

"I wanked off on his bum when he told me he topped," Zayn rushed the words out, wincing at how they sounded. "I was annoyed which is why I left him in my room."

 

Louis could happily kill Zayn right now. Strangle him with his bare fists or even better- punch the blood out of his face through broken skin. He took three deep breaths as that feeling passed and another replaced it. _Holy shit_. Harry hadn't had a one-night stand after all. He hadn't been lying about that. Louis felt unbelievably elated at the news.

 

He stared at his friend; laid despondently on his bed.

 

"Zayn...thanks, yeah?" Louis breathed.

 

Zayn looked up, saw Louis' relief and shrugged a little.

 

"It wasn't fair on you letting you think we had..."

 

All of a sudden Louis couldn't wait to see Harry again.

 

 

//

 

It felt strange to find Harry on the sofa first.

 

Louis sank down, slipping his cup onto the coffee table as he leaned into Harry's arm. Harry was furiously scribbling down lyrics.

 

"Story of my life...I take her home...I drive all night...to keep her warm- Harry, do you like girls?" Louis teased.

 

Harry turned, rolling his eyes. He folded his pen into his journal and cupped Louis' cheek.

 

"I only have eyes for you, Lou," he rhymed.

 

Louis smiled, nodding as Harry slipped his hand away again.

 

"Oh, I see...trying to charm your way out of it..."

 

"Strangely, people don't want to hear how much I love boys," Harry mused.

 

"Just your girlfriend?" He checked, bypassing Harry's comment completely.

 

Harry smiled, reaching for Louis' drink, taking a bold sip.

 

"Just my girlfriend," he agreed.

 

Louis ran his hand onto Harry's thigh, turned it so that when Harry went to put his own hand down from sneaking the drink, Louis' was right there waiting. Harry entwined their fingers and shot Louis a sweet smile.

 

"Are you okay?" He asked, flicking his eyes over Louis' face.

 

Louis smiled.

 

"Brilliant." He replied. _Maybe more than brilliant_. "You?"

 

Harry nodded, letting his grin win out.

 

"Yeah," he agreed with a nod, all soft and something Louis hadn't seen before- sort of...gooey.

 

Louis fidgeted, biting at his lip.

 

"Uh...last night-"

 

"Don't turn me on," Harry interrupted quickly, holding up his free hand to pause him.

 

Louis flicked him a look.

 

"I was going to say thanks for letting me come to the gig," Louis said.

 

Harry smirked. "Oh. Well. You're welcome."

 

"And the rest," Louis murmured in his ear.

 

Harry felt warm all over, shivered with it.

 

"Told you not to fucking turn me on," he mumbled.

 

Louis tilted his head.

 

"No collar today?"

 

Harry shrugged.

 

"I'm looking for some nice ones that match."

 

Louis smiled at him fondly.

 

"Ah, right..."

 

Harry darted him a look.

 

"Is it too soon?"

 

Louis shook his head.

 

"Nope...not at all."

 

"It is," Harry realised with a wince. "I always do this, I always suffocate people, I'm just too much, too, too much..."

 

Louis frowned.

 

"Is that what you meant last night?" He clicked. "When you sounded surprised I was there after you performed?"

 

Harry nodded, a little meekly.

 

"You thought the song would make me nervous?" he checked.

 

Harry shrugged.

 

"Haz, I'm not going to walk out on you because of a song..."

 

"You might," Harry reasoned. "But you didn't. Thankfully..."

 

Louis reached over and pressed a kiss into his temple,. Harry curled inwards and smiled cutely at the attention.

 

"Right, can I finish my tea before you sneak it all?" Louis asked.

 

Harry peeked at him.

 

"You want me to get you one?" Louis asked.

 

Harry nodded.

 

Louis smiled and pushed his cup towards Harry.

 

"Finish that, I'll get myself a fresh one," he stood with a mock-sigh.

 

Harry looked up, watched him walk all the way to the counter and watched him at the counter too. He chewed absently on the end of his pen as Louis laughed with a guy in the queue, apparently discussing football. He definitely felt jealous when Louis' new friend put a hand on his bicep to squeeze boyishly.

 

Louis was coming back so Harry turned quickly to face frontward, opening his journal to feign distraction in his lyrics.

 

"I can't believe it!" Louis mused. "Another United fan, right next to me in the queue. He saw the patch on my bag," he added by way of explanation.

 

Harry arched a brow, looking over.

 

"Hm...what did he say?" Harry wondered.

 

"He agreed about our strikers...he had tickets to this Saturday's game," Louis added.

 

Harry turned toward him more, piqued.

 

"Oh?"

 

"Yeah, he said it'd be great if I could go along so we could analyse the squad together..."

 

Harry swallowed, remembering the grip Louis' new friend had on his arm. Harry wanted to ask him to wear the collar but knew he couldn't, it was all kinds of inappropriate least of all turning up at a football match in bondage-wear.

 

"Sounds nice," Harry nodded, staying neutral in his tone. He had to swallow about twenty times to reach that effect but hey, Louis was buying it. Or was too excited about live football to notice.

 

"Yeah, shame really," Louis shook his head.

 

Harry frowned, figuring he had missed part of the story.

 

"What do you mean?" Harry asked.

 

"He only had one ticket spare," Louis explained.

 

"Right...you only need one," Harry pointed out.

 

Louis gave him a look.

 

"And where are you going to sit? On my lap?" He enquired.

 

And Harry hadn't realised Louis intended to take him to the game. And he thought Louis maybe didn't realise how he'd inadvertently spurned that guy's advances without even knowing he was being advanced on. Harry smiled goofily; his head bobbing with happiness.

 

"What?" Louis asked suspiciously. "Are you _actually_ thinking about sitting on my lap?"

 

Harry curled his fingers around both sides of Louis' face and reached forward to kiss him, full and soft on the mouth.

 

"I'll get you tickets," Harry assured.

 

"Us," Louis frowned in correction.

 

"Us," Harry confirmed, leaning back into the sofa.

 

Louis gave him a bemused look as he continued to smile happily to himself but Harry didn't care. Louis wanted to take him to the game, not some avid United fan who would no doubt be a much better companion. Now all Harry had to do was get tickets...

 

//

 

Harry's good friend- and slightly more successful singer/songwriter- Ed, had got them the tickets. He had two for the VIP Box and Harry had a feeling Louis was going to be happy about that. From what Ed had told Harry, these tickets guaranteed him a thank you fuck.

 

Harry would be happy with anything or nothing at all just as long as it involved Louis.

 

"Holy shit...oh my god, Haz, you've got to see this!" Louis was like an excited schoolboy, rushing around the room taking it all in.

 

Harry loped slower behind him, greeting some familiar faces with the odd chin-lift, flipping back his hair as he came onto the balcony where Louis had secured a front-row viewing spot.

 

"This is amazing, best thing ever," Louis breathed as Harry brought out two beers.

 

"To the game," Harry toasted.

 

Louis curled a hand around his neck and kissed him.

 

"To the best date," he grinned.

 

Harry clinked his glass to Louis' and looked about the room, seeing groups of people drifting to the railing to watch the game. He shifted behind Louis slightly as it became crowded and Louis settled against him; his smaller body fitting Harry's front perfectly.

 

Harry finished his beer and slipped his arms around Louis' waist which he had to review once Louis started getting agitated, fidgeting about. He stepped back a little, pressing one hand to Louis' ribs instead.

 

Louis twisted, looking up with a bemused smirk. He purposely grasped Harry's hands and drew them back around his middle, folding his over them to prove his point.

 

"Did I head-butt your chin?" He asked.

 

Harry rubbed his cheek into Louis' hair.

 

"Not that I minded enough to say anything..."

 

Louis laughed, twining his fingers with Harry's and Harry realised it was maybe the first time he'd seen Louis this happy, this carefree. He would have to bring him to the football more often. He would have to get chatting to Ed.

 

"Who's winning?" Harry asked a little while later, when Louis was still and tense while the ball volleyed about the pitch.

 

Louis pointed to the scoreboard with their joined hands.

 

"United, who else?" He smirked.

 

"You don't play?" Harry wondered.

 

Louis shrugged.

 

"I preferred the rec. hockey," he admitted.

 

Harry lifted his brows.

 

"Oh yeah...so when do you play that?"

 

Louis ducked his head, avoiding answering. Harry pointed one of his fingers and poked it into Louis' ribs without Louis letting go of his hands.

 

"Lou? When do you play?"

 

Louis rolled his eyes.

 

"It starts again next month," he sighed.

 

"Can I watch?" Harry asked eagerly.

 

"I'm shit at it, Haz, I'm not sure you need to see that..."

 

"It's sexy," Harry mused. "I have to see it."

 

"Sexy, huh," Louis muttered, not convinced.

 

Harry pouted.

 

"So you don't want to take me?"

 

Louis turned his attention from the game to cup Harry's cheek, reaching up to kiss his pouty lips.

 

"Of course I do, babe," he assured.

 

And-

 

Harry choked on a stuttered breath. Louis hadn't called him babe since the first time they'd met. It was soft and fond and-

 

And Harry couldn't breathe.

 

"I-uh...I'll be back," he said, gently breaking away from Louis to make his escape.

 

Louis Tomlinson was going to be the death of him, he was sure.

 

//

 

By the time Harry found his way back through the maze of corridors leading to the VIP box, Louis was already deep in conversation with another fan.

 

Harry watched him for a moment in his United shirt and skinny jeans, hair swept messily to one side.

 

He approached slowly as Louis was in animated conversation.

 

"...mate, I couldn't believe it...sailed right over the bar! Worse luck," Louis was shaking his head as Harry got to him, his loud voice carrying across the balcony. "Hey here he is," Louis smiled instantly.

 

Harry smiled back, looking at Louis' new friend.

 

"You must be Harry," the guy offered his hand. "I'm Stan."

 

Harry shook it and smiled warmly at the shorter guy; about Louis' age and handsome enough.

 

"Nice to meet you," Harry greeted.

 

"Louis told me all about you," he offered, holding up his hands in surrender. "So no need to lay me out in a fit of jealousy..."

 

Harry smirked and raised a brow.

 

"Don't think I'm the type," he offered diplomatically.

 

Louis slipped his hand to the middle of Harry's back, leaning into his side. Harry automatically wrapped his arm around Louis' shoulders forgetting how new this was, how he should probably be holding something back. With Louis he wanted to throw everything into the pot and worry about the rest later.

 

"Harry's not a big fan of the game," Louis led, flicking an amused glance at the taller lad.

 

Stan chuckled. "Bit like my Mrs, totally bored," Stan pointed to a girl leaning on the railing.

 

Harry frowned.

 

"Shouldn't you...?"

 

"Go and rescue her?" Stan suggested. "Yeah, I really should before she finds a better guy to hang around with..."

 

Louis exchanged numbers with Stan, turning to look at Harry once they'd all parted.

 

"What would you like to do?" Louis wondered.

 

Harry bit his lip. There were a lot of things he could say right now, a lot of things that were entirely inappropriate. But he thought better of it.

 

"Celebrate the win?" Harry suggested.

 

Louis tilted his head with a smirk.

 

"Come on, you've stood here for two hours watching a game you have no interest in. It's your turn to choose something." Louis insisted.

 

"My place?" Harry murmured.

 

Louis' breath hitched, he trailed Harry's fringe back.

 

"No messing around with you, is there?" he mused softly, making sure Harry knew he was teasing.

 

Harry rolled his eyes.

 

"I meant hanging out," he defended.

 

"I bet you did," Louis remarked dryly with a chuckle, clasping Harry's hand in his to lead them out.

 

//

 

Louis was paying Harry back for the tickets.

 

They'd come in through the door, kissing in that hot but not rushed way Louis made an art of and Louis had pushed Harry against the wall only to sink to his knees and unlatch Harry's belt with a clear intention.

 

He was good at this and he knew it, had a fair bit of practice and was confident in his ability. It was different with Harry than anyone else because Harry was actually fucking his mouth. Had grasped his hair, jutted his hips and cried out when Louis had hollowed his cheeks and Harry was now pulsing his hips in a slow rhythm, feeding Louis his big, hard dick.

 

"Oh yeah...Louis...yes...fuck! So good..."

 

Louis looked up, the angle of his mouth changing which brought Harry's gaze down and their eyes met for seconds as Louis took Harry deep and tight in his hot wet mouth and pleasured him in the best way. It was all Harry could do not to fuck the back of his throat and choke him with his come. He eased in and out; Louis' lips so soft and hard in the same moment.

 

"Gonna come...Louis....Lou..." Harry's hands left Louis' wrecked hair to grasp at the wall, no leverage there for him to hold onto.

 

He flattened his palms against the wall as he realised Louis wasn't going to let up until Harry came in his mouth and it was coming, hot and hard and heavy and Harry even tried to shunt his hips back to avoid the inevitable but Louis had cupped his bare butt cheeks some time ago, letting his fingertips dance provocatively at his cheeks, pressing gently to insinuate parting him but never going as far to actually do so.

 

Right now, his hands kept Harry deep in his mouth as his eyes began to water; Harry fighting his peak.

 

Louis hummed, was probably trying to murmur _come for me_. At least that's what Harry heard and that's what brought him over the edge in intense finality. Louis was taking it, swallowing what he shot. Harry thought he may have found his future husband.

 

Louis pulled away slightly, licking his pink lips.

 

"C'mere," Harry grasped at his elbows to help him up, pulling him into his arms where he kissed him deeply, tasting himself on Louis' tongue. He didn't taste nice. Louis didn't seem to mind.

 

"So do I get my couch cuddle or what?" Louis asked.

 

Harry pressed both his thumbs under Louis eyes tenderly and swept them outwards, removing his tears. They were from forcing Harry into his small mouth, from swallowing him whole. Louis dipped his head almost-shyly and a smile played about his lips.

 

"What?" Harry asked.

 

Louis rubbed the back of his thumb down by his eye in an awkward gesture.

 

"I just-" he lifted his brows.

 

"You just...?" Harry prompted.

 

"Nothing," Louis swallowed, his face now framed by Harry's large hands.

 

Harry tilted his head. "Tell me...please?" he begged.

 

Louis shrugged, hands resting on Harry's hips. He'd pulled up his boxers for him but Harry's jeans still pooled around his ankles.

 

"Nobody's ever done that," Louis shared bemusedly.

 

Harry frowned in confusion as to what it was he'd done that nobody had ever done to Louis before. It took him several moments to click. He flicked his thumbs back across Louis' cheeks.

 

"This?"

 

Louis nodded, cheeks like a hamster in Harry's hands, his smile small and boyish and his eyes all lit up.

 

Harry blinked, frowning.

 

"Why on earth not?"

 

Louis shrugged again, swallowed again.

 

"I don't know..."

 

Harry leaned close and kissed very carefully by the outer edge of each eye, wrapping Louis close with a protective hug.

 

"I'll wipe your tears away Louis," Harry promised.

 

Louis smiled, pressing his temple into Harry's chest in the vain attempt to stop his smile pressing into his collar-bone.

 

"Only if I can dry yours," Louis murmured, settling in Harry's embrace.

 

"Deal," Harry agreed, parting to pull up his jeans and relocate them on the sofa so they could cuddle, something Louis entirely didn't expect but took part in happily.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOUUUUU

Louis was just finishing up his last Youth Group class with hand-outs, shouting over the bustle with his authoritative voice that everyone needed to hand in their sheets next time.

It was homework of kinds, a way of keeping in touch with the teens while they were away from his classes and although Louis heard a few of them groan in protest, he knew every one of those sheets would be back on his desk without fail next week.

He had been running more classes of late, applying some of his theory and bringing structure and stability into the lives of kids that desperately needed it. Half of them didn't even know what a classroom was. As was evidenced when an unknown visitor appeared in the doorway.

"Louis, there's a man at the door," Jake yelled out.

"Is he a paedophile?" Louisa piped up.

"No, he's too hot to be a peodo," Kristin looked the guy up and down as Louis' gaze finally snapped to the doorway.

Harry?

Louis gulped.

"Do you know him?" "Shall I call security?" "I can take him out for you..."

The loud excitement at the visitor dulled into the distance as Louis gazed at the tall form leaning back against the door. Harry was wearing black jeans and a t-shirt with his tan suede boots, a beanie and a sheepish smirk.

"I'll wait outside," Harry mouthed, pointing into the corridor.

Louis smirked back, shaking his head.

"Hey!" He called to quiet the insanity occurring in the room. The yelling faded to muttering but everyone was out of their seats staring at Harry.

"Everyone, meet Harry," Louis flicked his eyes around the room, watching his teens eye Harry curiously.

"Hi, Harry," they chorused, well rehearsed.

"Is he your boyfriend, sir?" Kristin asked, always calling him sir even though Louis insist they call him by his first name. His job wasn't like that of a normal teacher.

Louis blinked, biting his lip. He flicked a look to Harry who lifted his brows, mildly interested to hear Louis' answer.

"Yeah, yeah he is," Louis agreed, avoiding Harry's gaze as his class wolf-whistled and roared in happy delight.

"Louis' got a boyfriend, Louis' got a boyfriend..." was being chanted and Louis really hoped Harry had slipped into the corridor.

When he checked the back of the room he was relieved to note that Harry was no longer there. When he finally dismissed his rowdy class he found him in the hallway, hands in pockets, tall form hunched as he leaned on the wall by the classroom. Kristin had been talking to him but she ran off as Louis locked up.

Louis looked across, turning.

"Sorry about that..."

Harry smiled.

"I shouldn't have come into the classroom," he guessed belatedly.

They had agreed to meet here, Louis had arranged it by text so he felt no need to chastise Harry for coming into his class.

"It's fine," Louis assured.

"Just wanted to see you being all teacher-like," Harry admitted with a grin.

Louis nodded. "And what's your verdict?"

Harry leaned off the wall, reached for Louis' hips and tugged him closer.

"Is teach done teaching?" He husked.

Louis tilted his chin up, lashes falling to his cheeks as he gazed at Harry's mouth

"Do you need some extra tuition?" Louis teased, his lips pulling into a slow, dazzling smile.

Harry nodded even as he leaned down, wholeheartedly agreeing with Louis' words as he kissed him, curling him close. Louis went willingly, folding his arms around Harry's shoulders, wrapping him up tight as he pushed onto the front of his feet to reach better. Harry moaned deep in his throat and pulled away with one final sweet peck to Louis' lips.

"Hi," Louis' eyes crinkled as he smiled at Harry, neither of them letting go.

"Hey, boyfriend," Harry smiled back.

Louis fidgeted, pulling away.

"I-Shouldn't I have said that do you think?" Louis wondered nervously. He just hadn't wanted to lie about anything, make up a bullshit story that Harry was his friend.

Harry blinked.

"I was hoping you would," he admitted softly.

Louis bit his lip, letting out a relieved breath through his nose.

"Okay, let's have dinner," Louis caught up Harry's hand to lead the way.

//

Louis was feeding Harry ice-cream from a carton on Harry's sofa; both of them voting to have dessert back home rather than at the restaurant they'd chosen to eat at.

Louis considered being curled up between Harry's thighs as one of the highlights of his life so far. Harry's thighs were made for being wrapped in. He was laid back; head propped on the sofa arm and cushions as Louis sat between his thighs; elbow pitched into the back of the sofa for support while his other hand spooned the treat into Harry's mouth.

Harry's eyes were blinking lazily, wide and pupils large, making his eyes look nearly black. He'd loosely folded his legs around Louis' waist to keep him there, hands rested casually on his knees. He was trying not to touch, trying not to push. He wanted to eat Louis more than he wanted to eat the ice-cream.

"Are you done yet, greedy?" Louis teased.

They swapped, Harry took the carton and fed Louis some spoonfuls instead.

"Are you staying?" Harry asked, hopeful.

Louis smirked.

"Thought you'd never ask."

"I have a gig tomorrow during the day and I'm booked every night this week..."

Louis smiled.

"That's brilliant," he commended.

"But I won't see you," Harry pouted.

Louis took the ice cream out of Harry's hand and put it to the side.

"You will. I can come to a gig maybe?"

Harry shook his head sadly.

"Private club. Really strict on who I bring..."

"You free Saturday?" Louis checked.

"That's ages away," Harry frowned.

Louis kissed him.

"I'm worth the wait," he teased.

Harry wrapped his arms around him and Louis settled against his body; stretching out between his thighs on the sofa. Harry hugged his ass with his calves, making Louis chuckle.

They kissed a little, cuddled, stayed tight in each other's arms until morning came and split them apart.

"Sorry, babe," Louis kissed Harry's forehead as he leaned down to say goodbye before he dashed out for work.

Harry reached for something on the coffee table and pushed it into Louis' hand. His favourite leather collar. Louis doubled it up, slipped it onto his wrist and adjusted it to keep it there. Harry smiled and settled back to snooze before he had to get up for his gig.

//

It was 3am Saturday morning when the muted knock came at the front door.

Louis rose from his bed, scruffy in x-men pyjama bottoms and hair at all angles. He passed Zayn's room, smirking as he heard his light snores. No chance of him being woken at this god-awful hour, at least...

Louis swung open the door, expressing a yawn into his shoulder.

Harry blinked tiredly back.

"Hey..." He greeted, all tall and gorgeous.

Louis couldn't help his smile, it appeared before he could even temper it.

"Am I dreaming?" He husked teasingly.

Harry shook his head, a small one-sided lip curl appearing on his lips.

"I can go," he offered right off.

Louis frowned. Go? He'd just got here. He wasn't making sense. He walked forward, wrapped himself against Harry's body and held on tight. Four days without him, without this.

Harry hugged him back; a happy hum in his throat.

"Thought I'd come straight here after my last gig," Harry murmured.

Louis wasn't awake enough to appreciate that information in its entirety but he made sure to kiss Harry's mouth thankfully for as long as he could.

"Uhm," Harry cleared his throat as he pulled away, having used one hand to lean on the door-jamb, the other wrapped around Louis' waist. "Maybe we should move this inside..."

Louis bit his lip, pulling away. Yeah, that may be an idea...

He tugged Harry into the flat, down the corridor past Zayn's room and after shutting his door, he undressed Harry slowly, kissing his shoulder, his bicep, his chest. He left his boxers on, led him to the bed and wrapped him up in his duvet and his arms, kissing his forehead as Harry settled, a sigh escaping his lips.

"You're tired, right?" Louis checked, making sure Harry wasn't missing anything physical.

Harry nodded, nuzzling into Louis' body, into his throat. He smiled as he felt the bite of leather against his skin where Louis was still wearing his collar on his wrist.

"You haven't taken it off," he murmured, his own collar caringly removed in Louis' undressing of him.

Louis smirked.

"No, it just didn't seem right," he mused.

Harry kissed underneath his chin.

Louis held him tighter, resting his cheek into Harry's curls.

//

Harry had been knelt between Louis' thighs, fingers deep into him when Zayn had started crashing around, signalling the fact he was awake and could probably hear exactly what was going on in Louis' room.

Louis wasn't exactly quiet, had the loudest voice of anyone he knew and he wasn't shy in expressing his pleasure at Harry's touch. Still, Zayn was a proper selfish git for ruining their foreplay. Louis bit his lip as Harry eased the scissoring action of his fingers, his whimpers receding as he breathed heavily to catch his wits.

Harry leaned across his back and kissed the back of his neck, sliding his digits away from the tight warmth they'd been enjoying.

"I'm sorry, babe..." Louis murmured, rolling onto his back; hard dick forging upwards, mirroring Harry's reaction.

Harry began to stroke himself, shuffled closer to reach Louis' hard-on, too and took them both in one of his big hands. Louis could only bear the sight of that for a moment before closing his eyes and groaning out. Harry leaned over them to drown his sounds in a kiss.

Louis watched avidly as Harry expertly worked them both, his green eyes dark and blown-out. He tried to take over touching Harry, to double their hand-job but Harry was determined so Louis had to rest his hands on Harry's torso and enjoy that expanse instead.

Louis was close, already. Harry's touch inside him and now outside...it was all kinds of erotic. He fucked up, hips jutting as Harry's hand bore down and they began a rhythm together and if Harry's hand hadn't been enveloping both of their dicks, they'd be making love with the way their bodies' moved.

Louis sometimes wondered why they hadn't and then the sharp slam of the shower door reminded him Zayn was in resident and ruining the mood somewhat. Still, Louis couldn't be distracted for long, arching up and breathing fast as Harry's hand brought him higher; high enough to fall.

"Scream it," Harry murmured, leaning close so their bodies touched as he finished them both off, fast and desperate by now.

Louis cried out, loud and uninhibited as their bodies gave way; pulsing together, come combining in shoots against their bodies. Harry collapsed on him, stroking them both through the intensity and into sated satisfaction. He shifted his weight onto his forearms to relieve Louis of his heavy pressure.

Louis wrapped his arms around his shoulders.

"Let go," he husked and Harry settled against him fully, letting Louis stroke his hair.

"'M too heavy," Harry's voice was deep when he breathed his words out.

Louis shook his head.

"I like it."

Harry happened to like it too. Being in Louis' arms was one of his favourite things. Possibly his absolute favourite. It was a tie between being in his arms and having him in his arms- a tough comparison.

Harry curled a little, kissed at Louis' belly where it was clean and stroked his hip. Louis wriggled a little, still slick inside from Harry's lubricated touch. He wasn't sure if Harry would make love to him once Zayn finally left the flat.

"I'm sorry about Zayn," Louis reached to kiss Harry's curls.

Harry looked up, shot him a sparkly-eyed smile.

"You think he's jealous?" Harry wondered.

They hadn't really talked about this yet. Louis took the chance with both hands.

"Nah," Louis denied amusedly. "But he gave up a good thing in letting you go..."

Harry rubbed his cheek against Louis' chest, still avoiding the stickiness of their semen between them; coating their skin.

"I'll never forget the way you held me..." Harry offered softly with a swallow.

Louis tightened his arms in remembrance.

"I'll never forget how it felt to rescue you..."

"You save me every day, Lou," Harry sighed.

Louis doubted that, didn't see how he gave Harry a reason for such a bold statement.

"Yeah?" He mused. "What did you do before me then?"

Harry let out an amused breath.

"Drank," he admitted. "A lot."

Louis remembered Zayn telling him that Harry was always drunk and pretty friendly. Louis wondered if there was more to Harry's drinking than just his vulnerability.

He still wouldn't let Louis finger him. Louis suspected Harry was a dominant top despite how he'd found him in Zayn's bed that night. It wasn't like he could ask the question. But whenever he'd let his hands wander to Harry's ass, he'd definitely noticed an obvious stiffening in his body; a gentle signal that he didn't like anything broaching his ass-cheeks.

Louis didn't mind either, he really didn't. He'd bottom for Harry forever if need be. But something in Louis' chest ached at wondering why Harry didn't want more.

He ran his hands over Harry's lovely, broad back.

"You don't need to get drunk anymore," Louis told him.

Harry smiled.

"Well, sometimes I like to."

Louis knew that, had caught Harry stumbling into him at that party Zayn dragged him to, had helped him get home.

"I'll catch you," Louis offered.

"You already do," Harry agreed.

Louis lifted his head, not sure if Zayn had slipped out quietly after all his loud knocking about.

"Ready for a shower?" Louis suggested.

Harry rolled up, unabashedly naked, grasping Louis' hand and leading the way. Zayn was just darting out of his room as they came out of Louis' room, Harry cupping his manhood and Louis shooting his flatmate an apologetic smile.

"Sorry mate, thought you'd left..."

Zayn smiled wanly and averted his eyes.

"Have fun boys," he murmured, rushing out the door with an echoing slam.

Harry cast a look back on Louis.

"Noisy, isn't he?" He hummed.

Louis grinned, breaking his hand free to slap Harry's bottom playfully, mischief alight in his eyes.

"Bet you're noisier," he challenged, slipping by Harry to make it into the bathroom first.

"You wanna bet?" Harry called with a brow arch, following more slowly after his boyfriend.

//

Louis had slapped Harry's butt twice more in the shower in cheeky play-fight but Harry's eyes had glowed at the stinging contact and they'd ended up wrapped in an intense embrace; kissing forever until they both went wrinkly under the water.

They still hadn't made love.

Louis tried not to pout about that too much after Harry left in the mid-afternoon, promising to meet Louis the next day for brunch. Zayn came back in the evening, noting Louis' lone film-watching as he sauntered in, throwing his leather jacket into one of the wooden seats at the table.

"Bridget Jones?" He called with a smirk.

Louis looked over the top of the sofa.

"Bring us a beer, would you?" He asked.

Zayn went and collected two bottles, popped the caps and sank into the sofa beside Louis. Louis clinked their bottles together.

"To Saturday nights," Louis toasted.

"To bros," Zayn added, taking a swig.

"You been at work?" Louis checked, flicking a look down his flatmate.

Zayn looked tired but as cool as ever.

"Yeah...told Perrie to go out with the girls and I'll see her tomorrow."

"I'm seeing Harry tomorrow, too," Louis shared.

"Oh yeah?" Zayn turned, eyes alight.

"Why were you so noisy earlier?" Louis wondered.

Zayn shrugged.

"Not used to you being the guy with someone in bed I guess..."

"You're such a prick," Louis said, but it was a warm insult.

"Yeah," Zayn nodded, slinging an arm around Louis' shoulders.

Louis sighed, leaning into his shoulder. He swallowed, working up the courage to ask:

"Did Harry-Did he say anything...when he told you he topped?" Louis wondered then.

Zayn lifted surprised brows towards him.

"Uh...I dunno mate...was kind of out of it if I'm honest..."

Louis nodded, biting his lip. He shouldn't have asked, it wasn't fair on Harry. It was just-

Well if Zayn was going to be a prick then Louis may as well make the most of the fact he owed a favour.

"Never mind," he pushed on, reaching for the bag of Minstrels.

Zayn ruffled his hair with a fond hand.

"He not letting you top?" Zayn asked.

Louis wasn't sure if he should be discussing this with Zayn of all people but Zayn was his only real friend. He didn't have much choice.

"I don't mind that," Louis shrugged.

"Power bottom," Zayn smirked of Louis' preference.

"Shut up," Louis thumped him.

"But?" Zayn prompted him to say more.

"But we haven't," Louis admitted then. "We haven't gone all the way yet."

Zayn blinked, apparently in surprise.

"Right....wow...okay, that's- That's not what I expected to hear but-"

Louis dipped his head, a blush spreading across his cheeks.

"Do you think it's me?" He wondered.

Zayn blew out an amused breath.

"Not a chance, Tommo," he assured.

Louis frowned in confusion, not really getting to the bottom of his problem.

"Seduce him," Zayn said then.

Louis made a bemused face.

"Not really sure that's how I want our first time to roll out if I'm honest..."

"Look, he likes you," Zayn shrugged. "Maybe he's not sure if you're ready?"

Louis hadn't even considered that. Although the way Harry's fingers had been embedded in him that morning, he'd have thought Harry could plainly see how ready Louis was. Still, Zayn's idea held some weight.

"Wear them tight jeans and borrow my black vest for tomorrow," he said. "When you get back to his place, make sure he knows you're gagging for it..."

Louis gave him an annoyed frown.

"You're such an idiot," he sighed.

"Whatever, you can't get your boyfriend to fuck you."

Louis sucked in a breath, another question hitching into his lungs.

"Should I-I mean, I don't know much about it but do you think-Is a plug a good idea?" Louis stammered, forcing the words out.

Zayn choked on the mouthful of beer he'd just swallowed.

"Lou, fuck!" He chuckled, hitting his own chest to cough up the liquid that had taken a wrong turn down his windpipe.

"You're my mate, you're supposed to help me," Louis chided softly.

Zayn slid him a look.

"Wait there," he said, getting up and going to his room.

He brought back a box and opened it, lifting out a glass plug.

"Something like this?" Zayn checked.

Louis swallowed.

"Yeah," he nodded.

Zayn tilted his head.

"Have you tried it, just on your own?"

Louis nodded.

"A while ago...not recently," he added.

"Take this one," Zayn handed him the cool glass one. "I haven't used it, don't worry."

Louis flicked him an uncertain look.

"Put it in before you meet up, give you time to get used to it."

Louis frowned.

"I have to sit down..."

Zayn laughed out loud.

"You're gonna look so fucked, Lou," he shook his head in mirth. "If you come back tomorrow and he hasn't fucked you, I'll kick his butt myself."

Louis rolled his eyes, palming the cool cone-shaped plug and warming it up in his hands. It was worth a try, right? Didn't Harry say about doing nice things? This was nice, still a little kinky but in a nice way. But what if he was being presumptuous? What if he was pushing Harry toward something and Harry wasn't ready?

Louis considered his options. They didn't have to do anything just because he was wearing it. Could just play around for a bit and come together. It wasn't an expectation or a forgone conclusion that they'd have sex because of this. It was just a hint to Harry that Louis wanted to.

He settled down to watch the rest of the movie with Zayn, his mind somewhere else entirely.

//

  
Needless to say he was mindless for entirely different reasons when he met Harry the following day.

Louis was finding walking difficult, had to tie a jumper around his waist to hide the tell-tale bulk between his butt cheeks because his jeans were so tight. He had to keep his eyes from rolling back into his head every time the plug shifted; pressing upwards against his prostate. He had to bite his lip to stop his whimpers. He was sure he looked wrecked by the time he came to wait outside the cafe Harry had chosen, his hair tousled by nervous fingers and his eyes blown-out.

Harry was already there and tilted his head, casting a suspicious look over Louis as he approached.

"Are you alright, Lou?" He asked right off.

Louis swallowed, paused before getting close enough for a hug.

"Yeah...yeah, fine," he nodded.

Harry considered him, stepping forward for a hug. Louis obliged him; turning his lips to Harry's neck in a moment of weakness as he smelled Harry's hair.

"You smell good," he husked, grasping the front of Harry's t-shirt.

Harry pressed his thumb to Louis' chin so that his lips parted then leaned down to kiss him; gently, for a long moment. He noticed Louis' resistance, the way he seemed completely off-the-planet.

"What's going on?" Harry wondered.

Louis forced a bright smile.

"No, nothing...I'm good. Are you good?"

Harry blinked.

"Apart from thinking my boyfriend looks like he had a good night, I'm fine," Harry broached.

"A good night?" Louis repeated, confused.

Everything was confusing when you had a constant pressure on your pleasure-spot, a constant reminder of what else could be pressing there. Harry. Harry's beautiful, big dick. Yes, that was an agreeable option. He clenched around the solid glass object in his ass and choked to cover his gasp.

"Yeah, your eyes are all blown out and you look flushed..." Harry observed.

"My eyes?" Louis lifted his brows, surprised- although not really.

Shit, was it really that obvious? He'd walked all the way here too, trying to play it cool. Harry could tell within two seconds of seeing him that something was up and he hated to think what other people made of him.

"Lou, do you want to tell me what's going on?" Harry asked.

Louis thought he was about to look hurt; about to assume the worst. He gasped in a breath in quick defence, closing his eyes as that brought the plug deep into him; a whimper falling from his lips.

"Are you in pain?" Harry grasped his elbows gently.

Louis shook his head.

"Lou..." He exasperated, sighing out.

"Pleasure," Louis cast, wincing at the word.

"Pl-" Harry swallowed heavily. He quickly calculated what was happening -how; Louis wasn't sure, but the boy was clever. And the next thing Louis knew, Harry had wrapped him tight in his arms.

"Lou, are you wearing something?" Harry husked in his ear as Louis clung to his shoulders for dear life. He was so grateful to have something to lean against, to be able to relax his over-worked muscles.

"Yes," Louis breathed, mouthing at his jaw.

"Shh," Harry rubbed his back a little to settle him, letting one hand sink downwards, rounding his buttock.

"Please-" Louis begged him not to, but it was too late.

Harry's hand slipped under his shrouding jumper tied at his waist and his fingers drew lightly across his butt; brushing the bottom of the plug which sat wide and proud between Louis' butt cheeks.

"Jesus, fuck!" Harry hissed, squeezing Louis' cheek unintentionally.

Louis keened, entirely dependent on Harry holding him up now.

"Can you make it to my car?" Harry murmured, his voice low and shaky, the same as his hands.

Louis noted he wasn't touching his butt anymore, he was holding his waist, tight and steady. He nodded since words seemed difficult without sounding like the far-gone mess that he was.

Harry grasped his hand and quickly gave up that idea, slipping a strong arm around Louis' waist instead, leading him gently to where he'd parked. When they got there, Harry paused Louis at the passenger door.

"Go easy, alright?" He murmured.

Louis nodded. He didn't even know how to go easy. Words weren't really making sense much right now, all he could hear was roaring in his ears from being so aware of his own body, of how every movement no matter how tiny peaked his arousal a little further, pushed him a little deeper into his mindless desire. He was hard against his jeans by now, finding even the stretch of denim enough to push against for friction, that action twisting the glass inside him.

He sank into the car seat, sucking his lip into his mouth as his throat worked; trying not to let any noise break free.

"Jesus," Harry shook his head, swallowing, grasping the roof of the car as he drew in a tight breath.

Before he turned away, Louis saw Harry was sporting his own hard-on and wondered if he'd get to taste him later, if he'd get to take him deep inside where he was so prepped for the other boy to sink into him.

Harry drove as carefully as he could manage, avoiding holes and humps in the road. Louis practically stumbled up his path to his house and Harry's hands were a jittery mess in trying to get his door open. He finally succeeded, tumbling them both inside where he quickly banded his arms around Louis' middle and held tight.

"Louis, you need to take it out, okay?" Harry murmured as Louis began kissing his jaw, working up to his lips.

Harry let the kiss progress for short moments, cupping the back of Louis' head and devouring him with his soft lips; even going as far as to press gentle fingers against his plug. Louis' needy cry reminded him he had to be the strong one here, had to resist the solid temptation of fucking right into Louis once that plug was out.

"Come on," Harry took his hand and led him to the bedroom, undoing his jeans and pulling them down gently. Louis swayed as Harry knelt, no longer having him for support. "Put your hands on the wall," he called.

Louis shuffled, Harry moved with him, tucked down his boxers and took a deep breath before looking. Oh shit. Louis was clenched tight around a clear cone-shaped plug, the butt of which was wide and round embedded in his cheeks. Harry got a good grip on it and tugged.

Louis made an unrecognisable noise and pitched into the wall.

"Easy, yeah?" Harry breathed, so hard he could probably come without being touched.

It wasn't often a guy turned up to brunch in a  butt plug. And one that fucked him out so much he looked like he'd been at it all night. Harry had been so relieved Louis didn't looked fucked out for another reason. Like because he had been for instance-by someone other than Harry.

Harry kissed his ass-cheeks tenderly as he tugged, the plug making its way out with slow resistance. Louis was clenching so damn tight, like he needed something there, like he couldn't live or breathe without being so full up...Harry honestly wanted to sink so deep into him nothing else would fit ever again. And they could stay that way if Louis liked. Harry would have suggested it if he didn't have more pressing matters to deal with.

"Haz," Louis begged, voice high with need. "Please..."

Harry reached around Louis' hip to take his hard on, smirking as Louis nearly crumpled into his wall. He slipped the plug all the way out, eliciting a sigh of soft contentment from Louis who was already pushing up into his hand. Harry guessed it wouldn't take long; wouldn't take long at all for Louis to meet his peak since he was already so gone when they'd met.

Harry patiently took him through his ecstasy, cleaning up the come once it had been shot all down his forearm, over his hand and onto Louis' thighs (and his wall). He didn't bother with his jeans, just gently tugged up his boxers and after the clean-up, guided Louis to his bed.

Louis stared at the ceiling, frowning.

Harry lay next to him, hard and untouched, biting at his lip.

"You-I don't...Do you-?" Louis breathed, hands grasping at the sheets beneath him.

"Hm?" Harry hummed, cheek pressed into a pillow as he curled up next to Louis.

"You don't want me?" Louis asked then, breathless with fear.

Harry's eyes went wide, he sucked in a  shocked breath and propped up on his elbow.

"What?" He begged.

"I'm ready," Louis murmured, still a little out of it.

Harry sighed, gathering Louis into his arms, waiting for the smaller man to cuddle him back.

"Why did you wear a butt-plug, Louis?" He asked softly.

Louis swallowed.

"To seduce you," Louis admitted.

Harry smiled painfully, fingering Louis' fringe as he regarded his face.

"You shouldn't do anything for someone else," Harry said. "You should only do it because you want to."

"I do," Louis assured quickly. "I want you to make love to me."

Harry sucked in a breath, kissed Louis on the mouth.

"I want that too," Harry said softly. "But not like this...not because you wore a plug to make yourself ready for me..."

"I thought it was something nice," Louis defended, a little mortified.

"It is," Harry groaned, kissing him again. "God, you don't know how nice it is."

"Then why...?" Louis pressed his hands to Harry's chest gently.

Harry shook his head. "It's not how I want you. Not our first time."

"Then how do you want me?" Louis wondered, still in a state of heightened awareness, still not fully comprehending.

Harry smiled, kissing him once more.

"When your eyes go blown-out like that? It's going to be from my fingers...from my tongue," he promised sexily. "Not a piece of glass...."

Louis breathed heavily, wriggling in Harry's arms.

"Shh, shh," Harry soothed huskily in his ear.

"Can't you see how much I need you?" Louis whispered.

Harry drew him close, nuzzled into his hair.

"Please, Lou," Harry begged quietly. "Let's do this when it's right...when it's real," he added.

Louis settled in his arms, letting the discontent buzz zing around his veins. Harry didn't sleep around. He hadn't lied about that. Louis might almost know why if he could make sense of anything right now but Harry was determined they enjoy straight up sex, no toys for their first time. Louis wondered if he had ruined their chances of getting to that stage by trying to force things this way. He had voiced this very worry to Zayn last night but that was before he knew what a butt-plug could do to him.

"I'm sorry," Louis apologised, kissing his neck. "I'm so sorry."

Harry smiled. "You think you have to be sorry?"

Louis nodded. "Didn't want to rush it...didn't mean to push you..."

Harry squeezed him tight.

"No, you didn't," he assured. "You're amazing, so amazing..."

Louis wriggled uncomfortably.

"Are you sore?" Harry guessed.

Louis nodded, still tight in Harry's arms.

Harry swallowed, not sure how to ease Louis' discomfort, knowing he couldn't really. What he'd decided to do was both surprising in the best way and heart-breaking in the same moment. It would have been so easy to fuck him but Harry didn't want easy with Louis. Easy meant short-term. He wanted more than that with Louis.

"You want a bath?" Harry suggested.

Their lunch date was turning out very different than Harry imagined but truth be told, he was so happy to see Louis after their week apart, he didn't even mind.

Louis rubbed his cheek against Harry's chest like a cat seeking attention from its owner.

"No I'm okay," he sighed, feeling the tell-tale tiredness creep into his veins from his orgasm.

"I might see what I have in that would do us for lunch," Harry suggested lightly.

Louis swallowed, pulling away, letting Harry get up. Harry turned back to look at Louis as he curled back up on the bed, pulling a pillow down into his arms with a sigh. He didn't realise Harry was watching, had his back to the door as Harry went through it, wondering if Louis would be okay.

He let out his own sigh as he went to find food.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> Ang

 

 

Louis must have nodded off for the time it took Harry to find food and make something edible because he was woken by Harry's rough-soft voice and gentle hands and he groggily headed into Harry's living room in his boxers, belatedly realising his half-dressed state.

 

He rubbed his face tiredly.

 

"Where are my jeans?" He mused.

 

"In the bedroom," Harry brought a plate of frittata and salad to the table for each of them.

 

"Hm," Louis frowned in vague confusion, too hungry to think about it.

 

"But you know, feel free to leave them there," Harry suggested with twinkly eyes as he scooped a mouthful of food.

 

Louis flicked him a look.

 

"I'll walk home like this then?" He posed.

 

Harry blinked, trying to hold in a smile and failing.

 

"You'd never make it, you'd get chatted up too much."

 

Louis rolled his eyes.

 

"Never been a problem before," he observed.

 

Harry dipped his chin a little, his green eyes becoming intense as they warmed gazing at him.

 

"I don't believe you." He stated simply, dismissing Louis' claim.

 

Louis found himself smirking over his lunch.

 

"What you think I have guys queuing up?" he teased.

 

Harry tilted his head, eyes slipping down the parts of Louis he could see.

 

"Yeah..."

 

Louis sucked his lip.

 

"Guess I never noticed then," he offered.

 

Harry smiled at that.

 

"Guess you never did."

 

"So, how many guys have you dated?" Louis broached lightly while they were on the subject.

 

Harry grinned, eyes bright.

 

"What?!" he chuckled, amused by this.

 

Louis lifted his brows. Okay, he wasn't expecting to be teased about asking.

 

"Never mind," he shook his head, spearing a cherry tomato, chewing on it resolutely.

 

Harry reached across, grasping Louis' wrist gently in his long fingers. Louis paused from eating, his hand hostage.

 

"I've only ever been with three guys," Harry said.

 

Louis frowned. No, that couldn't be right. He had this kink, this confidence and experience... He flicked his eyes to Harry's face. It was earnest, he was telling the truth.

 

"I may have dated a lot more than that," he shrugged in apology.

 

Louis' lips tugged into a timid smile.

 

"Okay," he accepted gently of Harry's past.

 

"And you?" Harry arched a brow, piqued.

 

"Three as well," Louis nodded. "Only I'm always vanilla."

 

Harry blinked.

 

"I happen to like vanilla."

 

Louis still didn't believe that statement, not really, not deep down where his gut told him he needed to be more exciting for Harry. More fun, more spontaneous, more open to kink. Just a whole lot _more_ to keep the curly-haired guy interested. Harry had far too many admirers for Louis to compete with.

 

Louis rubbed his fingertips along the leather band wrapped around his wrist.

 

"Maybe I can give you sprinkles," he suggested softly.

 

Harry grinned big then, like a puppy.

 

"I can live with that."

 

Louis swallowed, pushing his plate away.

 

"Can you?" He checked with a squint. "I mean...can you just-well... do without that stuff?" Louis wondered.

 

Harry's fingers tightened on his wrist.

 

"You just don't get it," Harry realised, shaking his head bemusedly.

 

Louis frowned. No. Maybe he really didn't.

 

"I'd do pretty much anything to just be with you, Louis," he growled, honest and unguarded.

 

Louis' eyes widened in shock. The same way Louis was prepared to try things to be with Harry, Harry was prepared to _not_ try things to be with him. He still thought Harry was getting the worst end of the deal. In fact he wasn't sure he understood at all why Harry liked him so much none of it made any sense.

 

He looked at him, saw Harry's vulnerability in that moment when it almost felt like Louis was considering their future. It was casting doubt in Harry's mind and it was evident in his eyes as he peeked at him.

 

Louis scraped his chair back and stood up, holding out his arms. Harry went into them, hugging Louis back even though Louis was protecting him in this moment, just like he always would.

 

"You're alright," Louis soothed deeply, nuzzling Harry's hair.

 

Harry let out an amused breath that opposed his words.

 

"Harry, I'll always be here for you, okay?" Louis tried again, different words, same meaning.

 

Harry hummed. He didn't sound sure.

 

"I promise," Louis added with a determined frown.

 

Harry pulled away, conflict crossing his face the war of his emotions making him beautiful in his confusion.

 

"You want to know why I don't bottom," Harry said more than asked.

 

Louis hadn't actually planned on finding out, figured they'd just slip into a relationship where they'd work around Louis being constant bottom. He really didn't mind for Harry.

 

Harry led him to the sofa and sank into the back; chin dipped so that his long fringe covered his eyes and he played with his hands.

 

Louis reached over and grasped on, twining their fingers. Harry peered at him from under his hair.

 

"What happened with Zayn," he began with a sigh. "Wasn't meant to happen. I gave all that up. I didn't have a very good experience," he managed as his brow creased and although his hair was covering most of his face, Louis could feel the pain emanating from him, the tension and the reluctance to tell him this.

 

"Did someone hurt you?" Louis checked and Harry nodded slowly, a grim line to his lips.

 

Louis sucked in a breath and wrapped his arms around Harry's shoulders, pressing his cheek into Harry's neck.

 

"Fuck, I'm sorry," he breathed.

 

Harry fidgeted so that Louis pulled away, resting a gentle hand on Harry's arm instead.

 

"I don't need sympathy," he stated.

 

Louis nodded. _Right_. Okay.

 

"You should take it though," Louis said, surprising Harry for he darted his broken eyes to Louis, revealing his taut face. "You're missing so much," he added softly, emphatically.

 

"Well," Harry clipped, throat tight with emotion. "You can take me or leave me, I've never lied about what I can offer..."

 

Louis almost felt the sting of his slap. Almost.

 

"I'll take you, please," he murmured.

 

Harry stared at him a long moment.

 

"Yeah?" He ventured.

 

Louis nodded. "Yeah," he mused.

 

Harry's smile was small and hopeful.

 

"I'm pretty sure this is a shit lunch date I'm taking you on," he offered to break the sombre mood.

 

"Taking me on?" Louis picked up the teasing. "Hiding me away more like..."

 

"Put your jeans on," Harry told him. "I'm taking you out..."

 

Louis mock-gasped.

 

"Out- _side_? Out in _daylight_? Are you sure?"

 

Harry slapped his butt as he got up.

 

"Get moving before I cuff you to my bed," he warned.

 

Louis grinned wide and happy over his shoulder as he went to fetch his jeans. Harry pretended it had nothing to do with the thought of being tied up or they might never leave this flat.

 

//

 

Zayn had another DJ gig on Saturday night, back at Niall's house, this time to mark the end of term and the start of a half-term holiday.

 

Harry was drunk.

 

He'd gotten another rejection letter, had spent most of the night in Louis' arms on the sofa tearful and distraught. Louis held him tight, trying to hold him together. He worried about what would happen if Harry didn't have alcohol.

 

It was during a toilet break he intercepted Niall.

 

"Ni..." he hooked an elbow around the blonde-lad's neck. "Harry wouldn't hurt himself would he?" He checked worriedly. "I mean...he never has right?"

 

Niall's brows lifted in a way that told Louis a lot more than his next words would.

 

"Uhm...no, I don't think he would," Niall offered diplomatically, avoiding the second part of Louis' question.

 

It's not like Louis had noticed any great scars on Harry's body. It was just a feeling he got, a deep-held fear.

 

"Good," Louis nodded, flicking a look to Harry who was still on the sofa, now accompanied by Liam who Zayn had invited along.

 

Harry was pitched into his shoulder and Liam kept flicking Louis looks as if to check he wasn't mad. Louis wasn't.

 

"I'm glad he met you," Niall told Louis then, a small smile pressing onto his lips.

 

"He's so damn hurt," Louis sighed. "I wish I could take it all away, make it all better..."

 

"You could always beat it out of him like his ex did," Niall smirked only Louis didn't see the joke.

 

He didn't see how hurting Harry was meant to make things better at all. It was as if...

 

Did Harry see BDSM as a distraction? A form of punishment? Did he rely on the physical pain from that kink to purge his emotional pain?

 

Louis needed to find him an alternative release, a way to let out his anger and hurt from being rejected. Maybe tears just weren't enough. He pushed through the bodies to arrive in front of Harry.

 

"Come on," he tilted his head. "There's something we need to do..."

 

Liam smirked and Louis gave him a patient stare.

 

Harry used Liam's knee to push himself into a standing position, swaying slightly once he was up.

 

"Think you can do this?" Louis checked.

 

Harry nodded and Louis led the way.

 

//

 

Harry was inelegantly trying to throw stones into the river.

 

Well, more like rocks Louis noted with a purse of his lips as Harry lifted a particularly hefty lump toward his shoulder, only to stagger slightly with the weight of it. Louis stepped closer to cushion him but Harry righted himself and cast the rock toward the water with a roar.

 

He panted out breathlessly as he stared at the splash, the comforting destruction of the peace surrounding them. Harry wanted to destroy more things. It burned in his chest, this feeling of not being good enough and he wanted to destroy everything to make it go away.

 

He sucked in a breath, his helplessness hitching in his lungs. The feeling of rejection wasn't as strong now, he'd vented his anger and he absolutely was not going to slip back into sobbing mode. No way.

 

He bit the inside of his cheek hard to keep that promise.

 

Louis noticed his shift in mood, watched his profile as he sucked his lower lip and his eyes became big and watery.

 

"Oh, Haz," he quickly wrapped his arms around the taller guy and pulled him down into his embrace.

 

Harry went, wrapping Louis up, too.

 

"I'm okay," Harry said to assure him but his voice quivered and Louis felt dampness from his lashes against his cheek.

 

He stroked his hair with a gentle hand.

 

"You can cry, you know," Louis offered softly.

 

Harry knew he could. He squeezed tighter, swallowing hard. The point was, he didn't want to. He wanted to become hardened to this feeling, to have determination blasting through his veins and pushing him along. He didn't want to be weak and needy and forever be crying onto Louis' shoulder, no matter how much he loved being in his arms.

 

Maybe loved a lot more than being in his arms if he was honest with himself. Loved kissing him, soft and sweet and slow. Loved having his hands on Louis' skin, loved having Louis' hands on his own, loved spending time at his flat, at the coffee place, at Harry's place. Loved wanting to call him at 3am just because.

 

Harry grasped onto Louis as he let his last tears slip, the end of his anger and the unbroken hurt that had been interrupted at the party finally streaking down his face and soaking into Louis' denim jacketed shoulder. He pulled away with a sniffle and noisily blew his nose when he decided enough was enough. He wasn't going to be a total girl about this, he could take another rejection it didn't mean it was over. His dream of singing was still alive. _Just_.

 

Louis cupped his face in tender hands.

 

"All out?" He asked, a gentle smile on his lips.

 

Harry nodded. His dream of singing suddenly felt irrespective compared to how Louis touched him.

 

"Would really love to bunk in with you," Harry admitted huskily, wiping his nose with back of his hand.

 

Louis nodded. "Yeah of course, babe. Only, can we go to yours because Zayn can be a total prick as you now know..."

 

Harry sucked in an amused breath, stuttering out a sigh.

 

"I think that can be arranged," he scooped up Louis' hand to lead the way.

 

//

 

Louis woke Harry up with a blow-job, something of a cheerer-upper Harry felt as he'd woken languidly to that pleasure, quickly awakening both his body and his mind to the benefits of having Louis in his bed first thing in the morning.

 

He soon got on the give-and-take pleasure boat and curled to give Louis similar pleasure- using mostly his tongue on Louis' ass. The sounds Louis had made while he'd tongued him between two deeply embedded fingers was enough to have Harry coming for the next two weeks. His body may be spent but his mind was over-active.

 

Louis wanted him. Badly, if his noises were anything to go by. They came together, showered together, cleaned up together, made breakfast together and rolled back into bed together; their kissing taking on a softer hue.

 

Harry found he had hours to kiss Louis like this, truly appreciate his mouth, slant his face to flick his tongue into the dark sweetness of his mouth and own him with his urgent lust. It felt like hours, the way he appreciated his body inch by inch; fingers deep in him again despite the stretch he'd given him earlier because Harry wanted to show Louis something, wanted to share something very special with him.

 

Louis happily rolled onto his tummy, widening his thighs only for Harry to turn him back to face him, shuffling closer, cupping his face with one hand as his other slowly stroked his dick.

 

"Lou, do you want to?" He asked, his voice wrecked from hours of crying, shouting and now kissing.

 

Louis nodded, squeezing his knees into Harry's sides.

 

"So much," he assured.

 

Harry kissed down his neck, sucked on his collarbones, eased into his body with a gentleness that completely took Louis' breath away. He really hadn't been expecting _that_. Maybe a little slapping, a little rough-play. He hadn't expected tenderness at all, he really hadn't prepared himself for being _loved_.

 

"Oh god Lou, so amazing...so fucking amazing," Harry murmured as he took his time filling him, easing out and back in; never going too far to make Louis wonder when his next thrust would come, never having enough distance to pound him the way Louis was used to being pounded.

 

He felt like he was being made love-to, couldn't quite work it out and stared at Harry confusedly as he fingered his hair with one hand, grasped his strong bicep in the other and slanted his hips up; lips parted and pushing wider apart in silent pants of pleasure.

 

"Talk to me, Lou...please," Harry begged, slipping his forehead to Louis' shoulder, fighting his control as he kept up his excruciatingly intense rhythm.

 

I-can't," Louis forced out, brokenly. "Too good..."

 

Harry smiled painfully, filling him up deep and hard that time, pausing as Louis' breath stuttered in his lungs. Harry kissed him, kept tight and snug inside as Louis throbbed with his need for an end to this pleasure, an end to this ecstasy, It was all too intense, too hot, too big, too much...

 

His eyes widened in realisation. Harry was pausing so as not to come too soon but Louis' body was still moving, fucking himself on Harry's dick as such. And he could feel his peak rising even though Harry was deep within him and barely moving now, just his hot breaths panting against Louis' ear as Louis struggled to find friction against his sweet spot deep inside. He began to push his hips up, begging Harry to move, to do something but he was big and heavy on top of him and big and heavy deep inside of him and it was just too much in the end.

 

Louis came right then, right on Harry's dick, without being stimulated, his come shooting thick up both his and Harry's body.

 

"Harry," Louis groaned, begging him to move. He'd just tightened so much around Harry's hard, swollen body that he thought Harry might come from it.

 

Harry shifted, easing out to kiss him, tucking back in one final time when he let his control go running like ribbons out of his hands into the wind; his body finally releasing into Louis'.

 

Louis gasped in a surprised breath, so glad they hadn't come together and he hadn't missed the way Harry held him in that moment, right after, clutching him close like he couldn't be without him. Louis was sure he felt the same but he couldn't seem to hold Harry hard enough to convey it. The way Harry held him had him aching to be filled again.

 

He felt Harry kissing at his jaw.

 

"It's been so long...so long..." he was murmuring, making no sense.

 

"What?" Louis whispered, afraid to break the moment with words, sounds even.

 

"Louis...it's special...with you, it's so special..."

 

Louis wondered if the alcohol Harry had consumed last night wasn't making a reappearance since nothing Harry said made any sense. It was nice, of course, being told it was special, but Louis didn't entirely know whether Harry was (still) drunk-affectionate right now.

 

"Hmm," Louis hugged him, easing back with Harry's weight upon him.

 

Harry lifted his head and regarded him with clear, green eyes.

 

"Was it okay for you?" He asked

 

Louis couldn't help his grin. His big, wider-than-the-channel-tunnel grin. It crinkled his eyes into crescents and stretched his lips across his bright teeth. If he could see his reflection, he'd see how stunningly handsome he looked. He cupped Harry's cheek, kissing his mouth once, indulgently.

 

"Jesus fucking Christ, Harry Styles," Louis breathed out, shaking his head slightly.

 

He still had his legs wrapped around Harry's waist, was still slick with his semen, was still sticky with his own down his front which now glued him and Harry together.

 

"It was alright," he teased, kissing Harry's forehead gently.

 

Harry let an amused grin tug at his lips then, his earnest eyes softening with the joke.

 

"What? It's polite to ask..." he moaned sulkily, wriggling from Louis' body onto the bed on his side.

 

"You're the perfect gentleman," Louis assured.

 

Harry rolled his eyes and sat up, looking over his shoulder at Louis.

 

"Shower?" he offered.

 

Louis shifted, felt the tell-tale ache of his muscles and smiled in memory of how that came about. Harry. Deep within him. Making love. He wasn't sure his brain could handle that reality yet so he let Harry lead him to the shower.

 

//

 

Louis was a little late to work.

 

"Sir! She spat on me!" "Louis, he put chewing gum in my hair!" "Louis, why are you late?"

 

Louis calmed down the manic up-start of his youth group, still coming to terms with this morning as he collected up homework sheets and set the scene for today's session.

 

Harry hovered at the back of the class for a bit, secretly indulging in his desire to see Louis being a teacher but it didn't take long for the ever-eagle-eyed Kristin to notice.

 

"Sir, your boyfriend is here," she said nonchalantly, around a loudly chewing of her gum.

 

Louis turned from where he'd been writing on the white-board, his back turned and his mind elsewhere completely. Harry blushed and dipped his shoulders inwards, mouthing a 'sorry' at Louis before he leaned off the door, hands in back pockets.

 

Louis gazed at him for a beat too long. He didn't want to leave Harry either, not after this morning. But he'd had to, had real-life to deal with, had responsibilities and adult-things to do. It just wasn't fair.

 

He'd tried to comfort Harry as much as he could about the latest rejection and Harry had a gig this evening that Louis was going to so everythign felt okay in that regard. For now.

 

"Sir, when are you getting married?" Kristin asked, reminding Louis that his distracted gaze toward the empty space where Harry had just been stood was now over-due.

 

Louis lifted his brows.

 

"Ooh, I don't know, when do you think I should get married?" He teased.

 

"Well, you're not getting any younger," Louisa piped up and Louis gave her a stern warning.

 

"But you love him, don't you?" Kristin asked.

 

Louis gave them all a patient look.

 

"Let's worry more about learning this book than me becoming a spinster, shall we?" He suggested lightly.

 

A general sound of dislike filled the air as Louis turned to finish his board-notes.

 

//

 

Harry was amazing. Of course, that went without saying but-

 

Tonight, he looked incredible. He'd left his long, curly hair down and flipped to one side and he was wearing a simple blue and black plain shirt with rare tight blue jeans, the shirt only slightly unbuttoned Louis noted. And yes, he had on a collar. His favourite one, the one he'd worn that second time they'd met- the black one with a buckle.

 

Louis still had the brown one, had worn it loose around his neck tonight like a necklace, choosing a burgundy jumper to go with his own black jeans and vans. his hair also swept to one side. He wished he'd worn blue now, wished they matched. His smile was girlish as he chided his thoughts towards all things coupley.

 

He was becoming whipped and he didn't like it.

 

He sipped his non-alcoholic cocktail, knowing he had to get up for work again tomorrow, knowing he definitely couldn't risk being late again. He'd told Harry he'd see him home in a taxi after the gig, after a drink or two, then aimed to get home.

 

He flicked looks about the room, watching the crowd watching his boyfriend, wondering if they too saw his talent, recognised his worth. Louis couldn't believe that nine record labels couldn't see that. Especially after his song with Zayn and the way Liam had supported Harry during that session. He made a mental note to have a chat with Liam this week, find out what this music business lark was all about.

 

As it was, he got up to order a beer for Harry who was just finishing up his set. He made it back to the table as Harry worked his way across, stopped several times by fans. He finally plopped onto the stool next to Louis'.

 

"Hey," he leaned across, kissing his cheek.

 

Louis smiled. "Hey."

 

"So, how was I?" Harry asked, something that amused Louis.

 

"Breath-taking," he answered honestly.

 

Harry flicked him a look and rolled his eyes.

 

"Shut up."

 

"You are..." Louis insisted.

 

Harry sipped his beer, giving Louis a soft 'thank you' for his drink.

 

People milled about them now the set was done, they were lost in noise and bustle, shooting each other smiles and sipping at their drinks. Harry leaned across to ask Louis if he wanted to go, just as a guy approached.

 

"Harry right?" The man in the suit said.

 

Harry nodded.

 

"Right. I heard you on DJ Malik's record," the guy nodded.

 

Harry lifted his brows.

 

"Yeah? You have some vocal work for me?" He wondered.

 

The guy shrugged.

 

"Maybe..."

 

Harry stood up, keen to hear more.

 

Louis flicked the dark skinned guy a cool, assessing gaze. He didn't exactly look to be jumping out of his skin about Harry's talent.

 

"You want me to write?" Harry was exclaiming, breathless. "But that's ridiculous...I'm not even...I haven't even-"

 

The guy slipped a business card through two fingers towards Harry, flicking Louis a dismissive glance as if aware of his suspicious look.

 

"Call me," the guy turned away and Harry clutched the card in both hands.

 

"Let me see?" Louis asked, reading the name there. Joseph Knight. He'd be sure to ask Liam about the guy when he called him, the priority of that conversation raising a notch.

 

"He wants me to write something!" Harry was gushing. "I mean, I think they want another guy to record the vocals but imagine my name on it- finally getting out there..."

 

Louis frowned, swallowing hard. He didn't want to crush Harry's hope but he didn't want to feed him false enthusiasm either.

 

"Just be careful," he murmured softly. "I'm not sure I got a good feeling from him..."

 

Harry gazed at Louis, almost-hurt crossing his face.

 

"He could be my only chance, Lou," Harry said and Louis couldn't fight him, not when he gave him the doe-eyed look and trembling lower lip.

 

"Of course," Louis nodded quickly to ease his fragile emotions. "I'm sure it'll all be fine..."

 

Harry's eyes flicked down him then, landing on his leather necklace.

 

"Are you sure you don't want to stay over tonight?" He checked.

 

Louis sucked in air. Of course he wanted to. He just couldn't. Not if he wanted to get up for work.

 

"I have to work tomorrow," he said with a sigh.

 

Harry nodded, biting his lip.

 

"We don't have to- we can just sleep, you know, we don't have to do anything..." He posed.

 

Louis swallowed, seeing the shy tilt to Harry's face, the way he seemingly wanted him to agree to staying over, just to sleep and nothing more, like a twelve year old with a crush. Louis found it disarming, the way Harry was with him. Always wanting more, wanting him around. Louis liked it but part of him wanted to limit them, wanted to make sure Harry had only small doses, didn't get fed up of him too fast.

 

"I have to get up at 5am," Louis warned.

 

Harry's smile lit up the whole room, he tempered it with dimples tucked in at the sides.

 

"Absolutely." He promised.

 

Louis smirked.

 

"I best get a spare toothbrush to keep at yours," he mused as he slipped off his stool.

 

Harry followed him with a murmur,

 

"I already got you one," and Louis tried not to let his heart skip out of his chest with that news.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People I am literally crying right now I am SO SO sorry I know I've ruined the story for you and I feel AWFUL I thought I'd posted the cliffhanger I thought it was weird nobody replied I'm such an idiot gosh :'(
> 
> Sad Ang

Louis had managed to drag himself out of Harry's bed at five the next morning, rushing home to have a shower, shave and change his clothes before heading to work. One of his colleagues was ill and there was an outreach program plan due which he had been given at the last minute, meaning he wouldn't be seeing Harry tonight.

 

He pulled out his phone at break-time.

 

_I have to work late tonight...probably the next few nights too :(_

His phone buzzed with a reply a few moments later.

 

**I just woke up. Missing my little spoon.**

_Less of the little..._

 

 **When can I see you? :** (

 

_Friday?_

 

It felt like a lifetime away but Louis was still in the mood that he could deny he couldn't last four days without his boyfriend. He was still in the pleasant denial zone. He could quite happily deny how much he liked Harry and often did when Zayn asked him about their relationship. But deep down he knew. Of course he did. He never was very good at pretending. And the truth was somewhat scary, a little ball of lightening-like-energy that zapped at his insides every now and then reminding him not to get _too excited_ , not to get _too involved_ , not to let Harry _too close_.

 

Of course, all of those points were moot when Harry was in his arms and even more moot when Harry as kissing him, or he was kissing Harry; anything that involved the 'H' word was pretty much a neutralising force to his fear.

 

**Friday?!?**

_I could sneak round tomorrow night but I have to work..._

**Please:) :)**

 

_I mean it Haz. WORK._

**WORK, I get it :P**

_Hey, what gigs you got lined up?_

Louis waited for his boyfriend's reply, surprised he didn't have anything for tomorrow night.

 

**Nothing 'till Saturday**

Louis frowned at that, hoping Harry got more bookings next week. He wondered if Harry ever struggled with money, if he ever had a draught of work.

 

_Okay, book me a ticket ;)_

He closed his text app ad went back to his plans.

 

//

 

As it turned out, the reason Harry wasn't gigging was because he had been in the studio with Joseph. Louis had managed to have a quick conversation with Liam about the whole thing and their new friend agreed to subtly drop in on one of the sessions Harry was having to check that Joseph wasn't up to anything.

 

Louis really couldn't say anything to Harry about it because he was shining bright like a star over his studio work and although Louis was determinedly concentrating on WORK, Harry delivered him wine and posed a toast to his newest recording venture.

 

It was so surreal seeing Harry in naive-happy mode. Louis knew that Harry knew only too well the pitfalls of the business. Knew Harry lived somewhere in reality otherwise they'd never have hooked up. And Louis found himself falling harder and faster in love every time Harry's boyish face lit up in memory at his day's activities.

 

It was almost like Louis could feel the foreboding, the sense of something bad about to happen. He didn't want Harry to have to go through another heart-ache but he also knew Harry was ignoring the obvious risks of what he was doing- collaborating his talent without a contract.

 

And Louis suspected Harry was willing to take that risk but his naiveté wasn't blind and that almost made it worse. Harry was ignoring this gut-feeling, this worming Louis felt in his own belly. He was ignoring it in the hope that it was wrong, that it would all work out. And Louis didn't want to know what Harry might be like if everything went tits-up and he ended up blaming himself for the fall. Because Louis had a feeling he would.

 

Suddenly he had an inkling as to why Harry didn't like people watching him sing. It was when he was most vulnerable. When he was happiest-and saddest, too. It could take him from the top of the world to the gutter in a matter of seconds and Louis guessed Harry didn't want anyone to see that. He tried to protect them from his truth, from the fragile shift between emotions he took with being an artist.

 

Louis could definitely see how alcohol became his prop during his darkest moments. He really hoped something had changed though, that Harry could use him as a support, a solid back-up.

 

He laid his plans on the side and pulled Harry into his arms, just because. He kissed his curls before running his fingers through them, Harry settling into his side with a dimpled smile.

 

"You're working," Harry husked, pushing his wine-glass onto the coffee-table so he could properly curl into Louis' embrace.

 

"Hmm," Louis nodded, leaning back into the sofa so that Harry eased long ways into his lap, curls spread across his thighs.

 

He teased back his hair with gentle fingers, his other hand linking with Harry's.

 

"You really don't think it'll work out?" Harry asked then, eyeing Louis with the fear he felt in his gut displayed in his pale green orbs.

 

Louis cleared his throat.

 

"I'm just worried they're using you, Harry," he admitted.

 

Harry nodded, sucking his lip.

 

"I know. They might be. But I'm getting to create and it's something that I can take away and use, you know?" He urged.

 

Louis nodded, knocking his head back.

 

"I might crash here again," he suggested.

 

Harry fidgeted happily in his lap.

 

"Yeah?"

 

Louis hummed tiredly in his throat.

 

"I have a long week," he mused.

 

"I'll give you a nice massage when you come by Friday," Harry assured.

 

"The plan will be all done by then," Louis assured. "I'll finish it tomorrow."

 

Harry lifted a hand to thumb at Louis' cheek.

 

"My man being all 'teach'," he grinned.

 

Louis smiled back.

 

"Hm, the success of the plan is yet to be seen," he mused.

 

Harry curled up, twisted to cup Louis' neck and kissed him, offering him a worthy distraction to his work.

 

"I bet you'll be amazing," Harry assured huskily.

 

Louis blinked at him. he hadn't expected that really- Harry's praise. he pursed his lips.

 

"Amazing like you?" Louis smirked, eyes crinkling with his smile.

 

Harry lay back in his lap, trying not to smile back.

 

"Aren't you supposed to be working," he accused fondly,

 

Louis reached over him for his plans resting them on Harry's chest.

 

"I am...with a nice backdrop," he teased as Harry lay back and comforted himself in Louis' lap.

 

//

 

Things were kind of different now. Meeting up with Harry was no longer a casual coincidence, it was a deliberate act. Louis still wasn't sure how that had happened but he was on his way to Harry's for a sleepover and he couldn't wait to see him.

 

Louis hadn't gone to his gig tonight, had to tie up the ends to his last-minute project and promised to meet him back at his flat and Harry had made him promise to come no matter how late.

 

It was really late.

 

Louis had a duffle bag slung over his shoulder with clothes in it for tomorrow, was wearing the sweats and tee he'd pulled on after a quick shower, blow-drying his hair while pulling on a denim jacket only to find his hair soft and flyaway as he tried in vain to comb it down with his fingers.

 

He knocked on Harry's door quietly, minding his neighbours. Harry blinked tiredly at him as he opened up.

 

"Lou-bear," he husked, deep and raspy.

 

Louis maybe loved it the most after he'd been singing, his voice all scratchy and sexy that way. He stepped into his open arms to be enfolded into his body.

 

"Are we at the stage for nick-names?" Louis wondered.

 

Harry smiled against his cheek and Louis felt his dimple shift.

 

"You don't like it?" He pulled away, making sure to kiss Louis' mouth for long, melting moments while he considered his answer to Harry's question.

 

Louis didn't have much of a mind to quibble after that (or much of a mind at all truth be told).

 

"I love it," he murmured, dragging up one side of his mouth to form a lop-sided smile.

 

"Bed?" Harry suggested.

 

Louis squinted blearily at him.

 

"I'm all yours, babe," he assured as Harry cupped his hand and led the way.

 

He was in sleep shorts and a vest with a beanie covering his curls. Louis could have ravished him there and then if he had the energy or any semblance left after Harry's greeting kiss in the hallway.

 

Harry glanced back at him with a bemused smile.

 

"Don't think you're up to much tonight," he teased. "Let alone being mine..."

 

Louis shook his head, stopping in the corridor to Harry's room, his sudden move tugging Harry's hand in his.

 

"Give me coffee, I'll be fine," he promised.

 

Harry made a confused face.

 

"We'll just sleep," he said as though it were obvious. "Come on, stop dawdling..."

 

Louis blinked. Sleep? Harry wanted to _sleep_? Didn't want to make love, to expend some sexual energy? Didn't he fancy Louis anymore? Was Louis too boring? His mind cast back to how he'd never been enough before, enough of anything to keep someone special by his side. He swallowed, breathing in big, soft breaths to calm his raging heart, to ease the tears pushing at his lashes.

 

"Hey..." Harry cocked his head, turning back into the corridor to wrap Louis up. "Is everything okay?" He asked worriedly.

 

Louis sucked in air, slid his arms around Harry's middle and choked on his fear.

 

"Hey, your heart is racing," Harry pulled back, testing his forehead. "You're burning up..."

 

Louis broke away, excusing himself and hurrying to the bathroom, splashing cold water on his face and chest once he'd thrown off his t-shirt. He gasped big, desperate lungfuls of air into his body as his whole, body quivered with the adrenaline coursing through him.

 

This was crazy- the insane kind that had you sectioned. He needed to calm the fuck down and get a grip, preferably in five seconds flat or Harry's insistent knocking at the door would probably become battering the door down instead.

 

"Louis? What's wrong, are you okay?"

 

Louis sucked in a breath, willing his heart to stop thundering away without rhythm. He repeated it, two three times.

 

"I'm okay!" he called back, not feeling okay at all. _Fuck it all to hell_.

 

There was only one reason he could feel this blindly panicked about not being enough for Harry. And that was because he was in love with him. Louis wasn't sure if it was the knee-melting kiss he'd delivered in greeting or the way he'd wrapped him up when he'd stopped dead in the corridor, but either way Louis was on a losing streak.

 

He broke open the door an inch, towelling off his chest and face shyly as Harry gently pushed into the room, looking him over with worried eyes.

 

"Are you sick?" he asked softly.

 

Louis tired to smile. _Very sick_. The sickest kind of sick a guy could get looking at a guy like Harry. Love-sick to the greatest degree.

 

"I just had a hot flush," Louis excused.

 

Harry arched a brow.

 

"Menopause already?" he teased.

 

Louis shrugged, about to bend down to pick up his tee but Harry beat him to it, helping him back into it, his fingers grazing against Louis' skin gently as he slid the material down, his hands splaying at Louis' hips once Louis' skin was covered.

 

"Did I ever tell you how beautiful you are?" Harry asked.

 

Louis darted him a look, impish smile appearing.

 

"No and I don't want you to start n-"

 

Harry's finger pressed into Louis' lips, pausing him. He pushed his hand back under Louis' top, thumbs brushing his belly. Louis shivered slightly, leaned into his touch.

 

"I want to sleep with you," Harry said earnestly frown creasing his handsome features.

 

Louis bit at his lip.

 

"Yeah, I know...me too," he assured softly.

 

Harry shook his head, hands slipping around Louis' hips into his lower back, gently pulling him closer where Harry let their bodies press lightly together. He dipped his forehead so it rested against Louis'.

 

"Sleep," Harry said, emphasising the word. "Something about us sleeping together made you scared," he noted astutely.

 

Louis lifted a brow, drew in a big breath. He had nothing, literally nothing to say.

 

"I want to sleep with you, Louis," Harry said again, slower, huskier. "Always."

 

Louis let himself melt into the kiss Harry was dying to give him and he was so glad he gave into that persuasion because it was perhaps the best kiss yet, all cosy and warm and intimate and sexy. Louis wished he had gloves on and boots and that they were kissing in the snow because the heat they generated would probably melt a blizzard away.

 

Harry groaned and eased away; entangled with Louis' limbs.

 

"Sleep," he repeated, a rough whisper by now.

 

Louis let Harry lead him to his room; let Harry spoon him even. He sighed.

 

"I thought it might not be enough," he finally offered on a hard swallow.

 

Harry made a noise in his throat and cuddled Louis tighter.

 

"More than enough." he murmured. "Too much sometimes," he added reverently.

 

Louis knew the feeling. Harry's kisses were way, _way_ too much.

 

"I-I've never been enough for someone," Louis finally shared, his worst fear spoken aloud.

 

"Hadn't met me," Harry quickly replied, rushing over his words to get them heard before either of them fell asleep. "Just right for me," he added assuredly.

 

Louis relaxed back into the big, warm body surrounding his, far too at home in his protecting arms.

 

 _I love you_.

 

The words were there, in his heart, in his mind. Not on his tongue though. Not yet.

 

"Just right for me too, Harry," Louis sighed out, letting his guard down as sleep overtook him.

 

Harry kissed his hair and smiled happily into the dark.

 

//

 

When Harry woke it was the unbelievable sight of Louis' ass in his face. He had his knees either side of Harry's ribs while he woke him up in the best way possible- with his beautiful lips around Harry's cock.

 

Harry groaned, reaching out instinctively to squeeze the flesh of Louis' behind, running his hands up his back, down his sides, tickling over his hips and grasping at his thighs as if to tug him away.

 

Louis hollowed his cheeks and sucked harder, making Harry's hips push upwards to seek more of his wet mouth. The thing about Louis first thing was his hair was still soft, no product to tame it and the strands tickled at Harry's hairy thighs, making him shiver. He ran his big hands back up the rounds of Louis' haunches, spreading his cheeks gently with his thumbs.

 

Louis shot forward, choking slightly as Harry's tip caught the back of his throat. He looked over his shoulder, eyes dark and pupils dilated. Harry very deliberately reached for Louis' hips and pulled him gently back where he could reach, shuffling Louis back toward his mouth.

 

"Can I kiss you?" He husked, voice hoarse with desire and ruin.

 

Louis whimpered around his dick where he'd taken him back into his mouth and pushed so heavy downwards he almost deep-throated Harry without even trying. He pulled off, pausing.

 

"Go easy on me," Louis asked only.

 

Harry smiled. Louis should know better than to ask him such a thing. He spread his cheeks gently with his thumbs again, propping up to tuck enough pillows under him to give him the right angle to-

 

 _Yeah_.

 

"Ha- _oh_ fuck," Louis' words were sucked into his mouth as he gasped for air.

 

Harry grinned, spreading Louis further apart to lick another broad tongue at him, right across his hole. Louis was eating him deep as Harry licked at his rim, making desperate noises around Harry's dick as he sucked, his hand joining in the fun to bring Harry tight and hard under his touch.

 

When Harry closed his eyes and pushed his tongue into Louis, Louis ducked deep again, deep-throating Harry, pushing back onto his tongue and sucking him in equal measure. Harry quickly grasped at his skin, gesturing to pull him away but Louis was fixated and Harry had to speak to stop his mind-blowing pleasure.

 

"Lou," he rasped, grasping his hips in gentle hands.

 

Louis looked over his shoulder, blinking slowly. Harry experimentally flicked the tip of his tongue at him. Louis dipped his head and arched his back with a sigh.

 

"I want to be inside you," Harry begged.

 

Louis kissed the tip of his dick, shuffling down the bed to straddle his thighs but Harry frowned, fingers tightening on Louis' sides.

 

"I want to see you," he said, pouting.

 

Louis carefully twisted to resettle in his lap, now facing him. He kissed down Harry's torso, sweet licks to his nipple, nibbles to his belly-button, licks between his ribs where Harry's lungs filled and depleted with air; his body stretched out and pushed to its limit.

 

Harry reached for the lube but Louis took it off him, leaving him frowning.

 

"I can't wait," Louis panted, squeezing out enough lube to cover his fingers, reaching behind himself to push those digits deep inside, closing his eyes as his muscles protested mildly at the action.

 

Harry groaned and thrusted at the sight, grabbing Louis' hips to rut against him, breathing heavily at the desperation he now felt to be inside him already. He took Louis' hardness into his big hand and rolled up to kiss his tip before thumbing over it, feeling pre-come there, groaning at that and feeling mindless with how much Louis turned him on.

 

He wanted to be the one with fingers within him, wanted to be the one prepping him and yes, he would have probably been slow about it, taken his time and been tender but was that a bad thing? He didn't wasn't to rush with Louis, not ever. He gently tugged Louis' hand away from where he fingered himself, pressing two lubed fingers to his rim almost asking for permission.

 

Louis leaned right down and kissed him on the mouth for the first time since Harry had woken up, pushing his tongue into Harry's mouth and letting that tonguing kiss develop as Harry eased his digits inside him, his hands so much bigger and more fulfilling just for the fact it was Harry. Louis kicked himself for trying to skip this part, for trying to hurry things along. He could thrust his hips this way all night, dick rubbing against Harry's beautifully smooth, soft belly- underlaid with muscle- and taking his fingers deep then shallow with each movement he made.

 

"Yes, yes Harry!" He whispered, pushing the words out, forcing his eyes open to take in Harry's kiss-swollen lips, wrecked hair and flushed cheeks, the blush having spread to his chest which Louis bent his head to kiss reverently.

 

"Lou...you look fucking amazing..." Harry husked, shifting his hips to try and temper his need to fill him.

 

"I'm ready," Louis promised, leaning back, connecting his hands with Harry's, combining their fingers so he could use Harry's strength to ease down. He had to let go to guide him in, pressed his lips together and bit into the lower one as Harry broached him but then it was up to Louis what happened and he felt overwhelmed that Harry was letting him run this thing.

 

He reconnected his hand with Harry's and gazed into his lust-blown eyes, connecting on a deeper level as he sank down; taking him deep inside. When Louis' thighs met Harry's, when he was full of him, he paused, lips fallen open and breaths fast and tight with desire.

 

"Jesus," Harry panted, blinking, trying to breathe, trying not to fuck up into him.

 

Louis circled his hips, testing the feeling and Harry couldn't help himself, his hips rose off the bed and embedded him deep, deeper inside. Louis choked out a gasp, eyes closing and head thrown back.

 

"Sorry," Harry gulped, thumb rubbing Louis', not wanting to break their hand contact even though he ached to cup Louis' neck and run a hand down his exposed throat, right down his torso so he could wrap his hard dick into his large hand again.

 

Louis circled his hips again and Harry let out a pained cry; tempering the rise of his hips this time to ease his thrust. Louis kissed his hand to appreciate that and Harry thought he might be in love. Seriously, he knew he was in love. Louis was unbelievable. Not just right now, thighs split across his hips, ass split over his dick, breathless sighs emanating from his parted pink lips, soft and ruined with kisses. Louis was unbelievable all the time.

 

And it hadn't taken Harry five minutes to know it, he just wasn't quite sure how he'd caught him yet. Might never know in fact. All he did know was that he could do this for a really long time. Maybe forever. He blinked, lip caught in his teeth as Louis gazed down at him now riding him with a deliciously tender rhythm Harry was completely spell-bound by.

 

It wasn't like Harry hadn't had sex- had had quite a lot of it in fact. Hard and fast, slow and easy, with toys, without toys. And the kinky kind with cuffs and whips and other things that marked his skin, mostly when he was drunk or hurting.

 

But this. This sex was something else. Sex with Louis was mind-blowing. It almost made Harry want to-

 

His eyes widened, he sucked in a breath.

 

It almost made him want to _be_ fucked.

 

Louis noticed the change in Harry, frowned a little, paused from his gentle rocking to disconnect their fingers to cup his face.

 

"Harry?" Louis murmured.

 

Harry swallowed, shook his head as if to dismiss Louis' concern and to demonstrate his intention he trailed his hand down his torso, fingers dragging sensuously against his tan skin, finishing with a tug on his hard dick. He gently pushed his hips up; fucking up into Louis to prompt him to move.

 

Louis slowly got his rhythm back, only relaxed and let himself go when Harry thumbed his nipples, clutched his hips and pressed his thumbs there, too, dragging Louis down as his hips rose up. Louis thought he maybe had never been fucked liked this, never been filled like this, never felt like this before.

 

He felt himself slipping over the edge, into the sparkling fountain where water magically turned into electric stars and showered his whole body with fizzing delight. It was so, so high the peak he reached; it was loud and messy and really, really real. He gasped air into his lungs as he left the suffocating climax to breathe; tumbled onto the bed by Harry who quickly rolled on top of him to push inside, his orgasm apparently a little delayed as he released in shuddering thrusts; shallow breaths sucked in through parted lips.

 

"No, no, no..." he groaned, shaking his head, rubbing his hair into Louis' chest.

 

Louis' arms went around him; holding him instinctively.

 

"No?" He murmured, breathing still returning to normal.

 

Harry paused, realising his words made no sense to Louis. In his mind he was denying the fact he'd even _considered_ letting someone else top, let alone imagined it in full colour. He was denying that Louis had that kind of power over him.

 

He looked at Louis, shifted a little and pulled him into his arms as he rested on his side.

 

"I just didn't want it to end," he offered, hoping it was a logical explanation.

 

Louis softened in his arms, curled his arms around his middle and hummed against his chest where he nuzzled. Harry guessed he picked the right thing to say.

 

"Me either, big-boy," Louis teased him affectionately and Harry couldn't help his amused breath out at that and his big, wide grin that came right after.

 

"Shut up," Harry ruffled his hair, kissed his temple.

 

Louis fidgeted and settled against him again.

 

"I need a shower," he realised with a sigh.

 

Harry smirked.

 

"Me, too."

 

Louis lifted his head, kissed Harry's chin.

 

"Guess we should both go then...?"

 

Harry smiled, liking the sound of that.

 

"After you," he insisted, letting Louis roll up out of the bed before he followed him.

 

//

 

Louis was in Manchester on Monday when Liam called him from the studio. He was still covering for his colleague and attending a seminar but slipped outside to answer the insistent ringing of his phone.

 

"Hey, what's up?" Louis asked, wondering if Liam had found something out about Joseph.

 

"Louis, you have to get here," Liam started, no hello's or greetings which clued Louis off to the seriousness of the situation. He tensed, frowning.

 

"Why, what's going on?" He wondered.

 

"They've shut Harry out of the recording session, they're refusing to let him be part of the song. They're saying the song is theirs and-"

 

"Liam," Louis cut across him, stopping his rather panicked explanation.

 

"Yeah?"

 

"Where's Harry?"

 

Shouting was clear in the background. Louis could hear angry yells of 'That's my music!" interceded by the banging of a fist against door. Louis closed his eyes and knocked his head back, sucking in air.

 

"I'll leave straight after the seminar, okay?" He said as he bit at his lip worriedly, wondering if that was soon enough. "I'll get the first train back..."

 

He hadn't planned to travel back tonight, had a nice room booked courtesy of work but he didn't care about that, he just cared about Harry.

 

"I'm sorry Lou..." Liam apologised, his voice becoming muffled as a flurry of activity occurred that Louis could only guess at.

 

"Liam?" Louis called unsurely.

 

"I have to go," Liam said, voice tense. "I'm trying to hold Harry back from shouldering the door open...."

 

Louis shook his head with a pained grimace at the idea of Harry hurting himself; aching deep in his chest at not being there, not being there to kick some ass for his boyfriend and not being there when Harry needed him. For the first time in a long time he felt torn between his work and something else- his heart.

 

He slipped his phone into his pocket as he headed back into the seminar, wondering if he'd even be able to keep his mind on the topic being lectured.

 

//

 

Louis had tried to call Liam again once he left the seminar but had only got his voicemail and he'd given up Harry's cell after five missed calls.

 

He wasn't even sure where to go when he docked at London, calling Niall in the vain hope he might know something.

 

"Tommo," Niall greeted, loud and warm.

 

"Niall, thank god," Louis sighed.

 

"What is it?" His friend asked.

 

"Where's Harry?" Louis asked.

 

"I don't know....isn't he at home?" Niall asked.

 

"I called him five times...have you spoken to him today?" He checked.

 

"Nah mate, I've been at work...he hasn't texted or anything...why, what's going on?"

 

Louis swallowed.

 

"Liam rang me from the studio at lunchtime telling me they'd cut Harry out of the song...Harry was trying to break in," Louis added softly.

 

"Oh," Niall said and it was evident from his tone he was hurt that Harry hadn't been in touch. "Well look don't worry, I'm sure he's fine...he's probably downing a beer right now," he added.

 

Louis could quite picture it. If only he knew where Harry was downing beer, he might feel a hundred times better.

 

"I have no idea where to start looking," he sighed.

 

"Go home and get your head together," Niall suggested. "It's pretty late I'm sure he'll stumble home soon and call you back..."

 

Louis checked his wrist-watch. It was gone midnight and he hadn't even realised.

 

"I'm sorry for waking you up," he said belatedly.

 

"No, you didn't mate," Niall assured. "It's all good..."

 

"Call me if you hear anything?" Louis asked finally.

 

"Will do," Niall promised, signing off.

 

Louis tried Liam's cell one more time as he walked from the train station back towards the flat.

 

"Lou!" He picked up, sounding like he'd run for his phone.

 

"Christ Liam, where've you been?" Louis asked agitatedly.

 

"Working?" Liam suggested.

 

Louis licked his lips.

 

"Sorry," he added tritely.

 

"No worries," Liam assured.

 

"Do you know where Harry is?" Louis asked next.

 

Liam paused, obviously surprised by the question.

 

"Uh...I thought he went out," Liam mused. "With Zayn?"

 

Louis frowned.

 

"When? What happened at the studio?" He added right after.

 

"Well, we had a bit of a scene involving a couple of very nice police officers and we not-so-quietly vacated the building at which point Harry stormed off before I even had a chance to ask him where he was going," Liam shared. "Zayn sent me a text telling me he was with Harry and he was okay so I just went to work..."

 

"Police officers?" Louis echoed, blinking.

 

"Where are you now?" Liam asked.

 

"Heading back to the flat, I have no idea where Harry is, I'll call Zayn if he's not at home."

 

"Alright, take it easy," Liam expressed. "Text me, yeah?"

 

"Yeah," Louis promised, wondering if Zayn was home yet, wondering if he'd got Harry home safe even.

 

He wasn't sure why but he felt mildly uneasy about Harry being out with Zayn, particularly where alcohol was involved. He still didn't entirely trust Zayn where Harry was concerned and it irked Louis that Harry had chosen to go straight to his flat-mate for company rather than stick with Liam or go home alone.

 

As he came up the stairs, he began to feel a niggling in his belly. Like a little voice telling him that Harry had picked Zayn first, had shared intimacies with Zayn first, had let Zayn do things that Louis couldn't even dream of doing. He wasn't used to feeling jealous, really. Although he was used to feeling inadequate, he'd not had to really compare himself to someone else this way, quite so directly, someone he lived with and had a bond with however much of an asshole Zayn could be.

 

Louis didn't like feeling as though Harry could still choose his ass-hole friend over him. Because Zayn could give Harry what he wanted- what he claimed he only liked when he was drunk. And Harry was drunk, that much was clear from what Liam had told him. Drunk and with Zayn. Again.

 

He let himself into the flat slinging down his bag and heading to his room to at least change into some non-work clothes before he headed out. He called Zayn's name as he rounded the sofa; heading down the hall towards his room which was before Louis'.

 

He pushed open the half-ajar door with another,

 

"Zayn?"

 

Louis froze at the sight that greeted him, cold fear filling him and turning him to stone.

 

Zayn stuck his head up from where he'd been asleep face-down on the bed, beside Harry who was also asleep face-down on the bed. In just his boxers.

 

Louis' lips parted, his face creased in horrified shock and he shot an accusing look to his flatmate.

 

"W-what?" He choked out, feeling bile rising in his stomach.

 

Zayn was rolling off the bed, evidently still half-pissed as Louis turned to stalk away.

 

"No, Lou, it's not what it looks like..." Zayn hastened to the door, still in jeans and a burgundy shirt thank god but fuck it if Louis' fears weren't coming true.

 

"It never is," Louis spat, lips a thin line as he stormed back towards the front door.

 

"Nothing happened!" Zayn quickly spurted, grabbing at Louis' wrist to stop him making it to the front door.

 

Louis laughed humourlessly.

 

"Right," he roiled his eyes, tone dripping sarcasm. "He just fell out of his clothes, did he?"

 

"He was sick on them," Zayn frowned, tugging at Louis arm to get him to turn.

 

Louis stared at the back of the front door insistently. Zayn. His flat mate. The guy he almost-trusted. And Harry. Oh god, _Harry_. His stomach lurched at that, his heart fell heavily in his chest and stopped beating, almost refusing to start up again and when it did, it hurt him.

 

 _He was in love with Harry_. So in love with him he could barely breathe for how much it hurt right now.

 

He snatched his wrist away from Zayn's touch and reached for the front door to open it.

 

"You expect me to believe that?" Louis accused as he threw it open and headed right back through it seconds after coming in.

 

"Louis don't be a dick!" Zayn called down the stairwell, irrespective of their neighbours.

 

Zayn heard Louis' sarcastic breath of air as he tumbled down the stairs.

 

"Why not, you are," Louis muttered loud enough for Zayn to hear as he slammed the communal door shut behind him, leaving Zayn to close his eyes painfully at the sound.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hate myself :'''(
> 
> Ang

It was fair to say Harry had a headache when he finally woke.

 

Zayn was a surprisingly good nurse-maid and offered Harry a pint of water and some painkillers while hovering uneasily by his side.

 

Harry eventually told him to sit down and Zayn sat in the middle of the sofa while Harry curled up in the arm-chair sipping his water. Zayn was a small ball of energy, knee bouncing, hands clasped together, eyes shifting about.

 

"Did I do something inappropriate last night?" Harry checked, his voice slow and hoarse.

 

Zayn flicked him a look, brows lifting. His lips parted as a breathe expelled.

 

"No, god no, you talked about Louis all night," he mused.

 

Harry nodded.

 

"What's got you so wired then?" Harry wondered, blinking, the stabbing behind his lids not easing much with paracetamol and H2O.

 

Zayn licked his lips and scraped his lower teeth against his top one.

 

"Uh...it's kinda awkward, actually," Zayn broached.

 

Harry pulled the cushion that was digging in his side out from the back of the chair and hugged it, getting comfy.

 

"I may as well stay here until Lou gets back?" Harry suggested as he got comfortable.

 

Zayn flicked him another wide brown eyed look.

 

"That's the thing," Zayn grasped onto that sentence, almost glad Harry had mentioned Louis first.

 

"What is?" Harry frowned, wondering if it was his hangover that was making this so hard or Zayn's inability to communicate.

 

"Louis _is_ back," Zayn offered. "He got back last night."

 

Harry sat up with a gasp.

 

"What? When?"

 

Zayn bit into his lower lip.

 

"It was after midnight...you were out for the count," he added gently.

 

"So he's here?" Harry's face lit up hopefully as he looked toward Louis' bedroom door for confirmation.

 

"Uh...not exactly," Zayn winced.

 

Harry rubbed his fingers over his forehead with a sigh.

 

"Zayn, you're not making much sense," Harry offered.

 

"I know," Zayn sighed. "Because I don't know how to say it..."

 

"Just say it," Harry suggested, getting agitated. "Today, preferably..."

 

"Louis came back and found us in my bed," Zayn blurted. "You were in your boxers and he-" Zayn swallowed. "He thought something went on with me and you." He finished quietly.

 

Harry gritted his teeth together with a swallow. He was still in his boxers. So what? Maybe he was missing something.

 

"Were you naked?" Harry arched a brow.

 

"No, dressed," Zayn assured. "I told him you were sick all down your clothes but-"

 

Harry closed his eyes, pain streaking across his chest.

 

"Oh, fuck," he sighed in realisation.

 

"I guess it just reminded him of how we-well..."

 

"Yeah, I get it," Harry cut him off, his face creasing painfully at the idea of Louis seeing him undressed in Zayn's bed that way.

 

"I mean, I really don't think he doubted _you_ ," Zayn added quickly in case Harry got the notion to be mad that Louis assumed he'd betrayed him. Harry didn't but Zayn carried on. "It's more _me_ he was mad at..."

 

Harry nodded, looking around the floor with a confused frown, his head pounding with sharp stabs of pain that had moved from his chest. His chest ached now, filled with hurt.

 

"Where did he go?" he wondered.

 

Zayn shrugged.

 

Harry put his feet to the floor, rested his elbows on his knees.

 

"I have to find him," he murmured.

 

"Call him," Zayn suggested quickly.

 

"No, I need to see him," Harry decided. "I'll see if he stayed with Ni or Li," he added, standing up.

 

Zayn looked up at him, big doe eyes.

 

"Haz, I'm really sorry," Zayn expressed.

 

Harry blinked at him slowly.

 

"I think you probably stopped me doing something pretty stupid last night," Harry recognised. "This isn't your fault, it's mine," Harry accepted.

 

Zayn stood up with a frown.

 

"No, it's mine. I let Louis believe we'd slept together and I only told him the truth when you two got serious. I'm a shit friend and he knows it so I doubt if he trusts anything I say," Zayn admitted.

 

Harry clasped his shoulder.

 

"Still, he's my boyfriend and he shouldn't be insecure about how I feel," Harry shared softly.

 

Zayn's face lit with hope and something else- delight. Was it possible Harry could feel the same about Louis? He already knew how deep Louis' feelings went without the other man even needing to tell him. Hearing Harry admit the same out loud was astounding.

 

"Go and find him," Zayn prompted Harry into action.

 

Action that came with a pounding in his head.

 

//

 

By the time he got to Liam's, it was midday. Luckily for Harry Louis was apparently still asleep on Liam's sofa; curled into a foetal position with his arms folded across his chest as if missing having something to hold.

 

Harry darted Liam a look.

 

"I shouldn't wake him?" He ventured unsurely.

 

Liam smiled at him kindly and rubbed his arm.

 

"I think you probably should..." he suggested.

 

When Harry approached the sofa, he softly called Louis' name until he stirred. Louis instantly stiffened as he opened his eyes to find Harry there.

 

"What are you doing here?" He asked bluntly.

 

Harry frowned at Louis' tone.

 

"I came to tell you that nothing happened," Harry breathed out, irked.

 

His head still hurt, his body still ached and he'd thought Louis was just tired from his trip, was just insecure. Now he began to wonder if there was more to this. Was he trying to find a way to break up with him?

 

Louis sat up on the sofa, rubbing his hands over his face as Harry stood, hands in pockets nearby.

 

"Really, nothing happened?" Louis mused huskily.

 

It was Harry's turn to tense.

 

"No, it didn't. Don't you trust me?" He accused.

 

Louis darted him a look.

 

"You went to Zayn," he said as though this explained everything. "Of all of your friends, you went to him?" He added in question, in accusation.

 

Harry's frown deepened.

 

"I knew I could get drunk with him, that's all." he excused.

 

"Not Niall?" Louis added pointedly.

 

"No, not Niall," Harry defended. "He doesn't like me drinking, he knows what I'm like..."

 

"And Zayn doesn't." Louis stated, repeating the statements in tell-tale hurt. "Even though you spent the night with him..."

 

"It wasn't like that!" Harry cast, eyes wide and arms flinging outwards to convey his innocence.

 

"It looked like that," Louis countered.

 

"But I'm with you," Harry stated. "That should mean something."

 

"It should," Louis agreed, standing, facing Harry. "It should mean you don't climb into bed with other guys and you definitely don't get undressed with them...."

 

" _Nothing happened_ ," Harry repeated between clenched teeth, his voice loud and rasped.

 

"So you'd be okay with finding me in my boxers in bed with Li then?" Louis arched a brow.

 

Harry hesitated. The image pushed into his mind, of the tall, heavy-set Liam laying in bed beside Louis, his small, tan boyfriend in just his underwear. He imagined walking in on that this morning, he imagined how he'd feel. Devastated, probably. No, definitely. He'd definitely be devastated. He swallowed guiltily, hanging his head.

 

"I'm sorry," he offered, hurt and ashamed.

 

Louis folded his arms.

 

"I need some time alone," he said then, the words a shock to Harry's system because he looked up with wide, olive eyes and his lips parted.

 

"L-Lou," he stuttered out, choking on the word. He'd assumed this visit would heal things, would make everything okay again. He hadn't imagined a scenario where Louis wouldn't want to see him, where Louis rejected him, even.

 

Louis looked to his feet, lips pinching together.

 

"I'll call you," he added more softly, a glimmer of hope.

 

"So that's it?" Harry cast, anger rising up in his chest but more at himself than at Louis. "I just go and _wait_?"

 

Louis flicked him a look- it was cool and indifferent and it broke Harry's heart. He'd never seen Louis give that look. Not ever. He was far too impassioned, cared far too much to ever be indifferent.

 

He shrugged.

 

"Guess you don't have to wait," he suggested and Harry's face creased painfully.

 

That was hurtful. Hurtful beyond what Harry deserved, really. But then he'd been the one to suggest that waiting was an impossible task. Of course he could wait for Louis. Forever if he needed to.

 

"Right," Harry pushed the word out of his bitter throat, his heart pumping blood in splashes across his chest which felt like it was drowning his lungs and choking his throat from the inside. "I'll just go then," he added hoarsely, turning toward the door.

 

He looked back before he slipped through it, seeing Louis sitting on the edge of the sofa, palms together, fingers pointing up where the tips brushed his lips thoughtfully. If he squinted he thought he saw tears glistening on his lower lashes in the sunlight that crept through the semi-open curtains but he was sure Louis wouldn't be crying over this-over _him_.

 

Harry however, closed the door and let out an uncontrolled sob, fisting his hand in his mouth as his chest convulsed painfully. He couldn't break down here, he simply couldn't. He stumbled towards Niall's and prayed his friend was home.

 

//

 

Louis decided to pay Joseph a visit at the studio, Liam was his wing-man for that visit. Louis didn't need to use any kind of violence towards the man, just a simple threat of a law-suit was quite sufficient to have the man compromising.

 

Maybe more than compromising since Louis knew a lot about plagiarism and also knew that to prove the song was Harry's, all Harry would need to do was provide the music and Louis had correctly guessed that Joseph wouldn't be able to do the same and so it had been quite a happy little meeting in the end with Joseph registering the song with Harry's name equal billing so he'd get his 50% of the share.

 

Liam had looked at Louis funny when they left the building.

 

"You still did that?" Liam mused.

 

Louis frowned.

 

"Why wouldn't I?"

 

"Well, correct me if I'm wrong but didn't Harry leave yesterday? Didn't you break up with him?" Liam observed.

 

"We didn't break up," Louis shot him a look. "I told him I needed to be alone, that's all."

 

"Same thing, mate," Liam shrugged.

 

Louis stared at him, as if just realising something. He pulled out his phone, checking his un-opened messages. He'd been putting off reading them wondering if Niall was sending him hate for what had happened the day before.

 

**If you wanted to break up with me you could have just said. Didn't have to use Zayn for an excuse.**

**Would liked to have talked about it but I guess you're done with us.**

**Lots I need to say if you'll let me.**

Louis looked back at Liam.

 

"He thinks I broke up with him?" He beseeched, lips parting in horrified realisation.

 

Liam gave him that funny look again.

 

"You did," he stated bemusedly.

 

"No!" Louis cast breathlessly. "No, no, I just needed some time..."

 

Liam slipped an arm around his shoulders.

 

"Lou, you probably needed to make that a bit more obvious," he advised gently.

 

"Oh shit," Louis closed his eyes. "I told him not to wait...I was so annoyed! He was-I..."

 

Liam rubbed his back as Louis sucked in air.

 

"Why do you need time anyway?" He posed. "You already know how you feel..."

 

"But does _he_?" Louis shot back; face creased with annoyance. He was annoyed with himself for being such a fucking fool. "He's the one that dropped you to grab Zayn to go and get drunk and to fall into bed with him..."

 

"Did you ask why he was in Zayn's bed?" Liam wondered then.

 

Louis swallowed, thinking hard.

 

"No..."

 

Liam lifted his brows.

 

"Don't you think you ought to?"

 

Louis flicked him a cool blue look.

 

"Well why else would he be there?" Louis demanded. "They have history it's pretty clear that Harry wanted to be with Zayn that night."

 

Liam pressed his lips together.

 

"There might be another reason," he suggested.

 

Louis looked back to his phone. What could he say? _I'm not breaking up with you? I'm not done with us?_ He felt like an idiot for ignoring his messages now but he really didn't know what to write back.

 

**_Let's talk. When & where?_ **

****

He sighed, pressing send. He guessed it would have to do.

 

 

//

 

Louis didn't get a reply that day. Or the following day. It was Friday when his mobile rang into life beside him on the sofa as he finished off some worksheets for his classes.

 

It had been a hard two days without hearing anything from Harry but he guessed Harry was still pissed at him, was still deciding if he should bother to meet Louis or not and Louis didn't blame him no matter how little sleep he'd gotten worrying over it.

 

Zayn hadn't been back to the flat since Monday and Louis guessed he was hiding out at Perrie's which was in some ways a relief but in other's an annoyance. He still hadn't had the chance to ask him how Harry came to be in his bed that night.

 

"Niall," he greeted, expecting his call at some point.

 

The Irish lad cleared his throat, instantly putting Louis on edge. Louis tensed.

 

"Uh, Lou...I think you should come," Niall managed.

 

Louis felt cold lace through his veins.

 

"Come where?" He checked.

 

 _Please not the hospital._ Not the police station and nowhere else _, please_ , he begged silently.

 

"I'm at Harry's house," he said softly.

 

"What's happened, is he okay?" Louis asked right off.

 

Niall cleared his throat again.

 

"I...uh...I think-you just need to come, Lou," he settled on saying.

 

Louis hung up, tossed his papers onto the coffee table and grabbed his keys.

 

//

 

 

Niall had Harry's front door open before he'd even got to the top of the path.

 

Louis paused as Niall stepped outside, turning Louis away from the front door as if Harry might hear.

 

"Niall, what-" Louis began; breathless with panic.

 

"He's okay," Niall, said quickly, a reassurance to Louis which breathed out.

 

"What's going on?" Louis begged.

 

"He's been staying with me since Monday and I've been keeping an eye on him but I had to work today and when I got home he wasn't there so I came here," Niall explained.

 

Louis nodded, frowning in concentration.

 

"I saw the messages on his phone, he hadn't read yours, either," Niall rolled his eyes with a sigh and Louis had a feeling he knew what Niall was going to say next.

 

"Ni," he begged, breathing the word out.

 

"He's cut his arms a bit," Niall offered, his face wincing with his words. "And his stomach...I don't know why he cuts his stomach it's not even fat or anything but-"

 

"He cut himself?" Louis echoed, stunned.

 

Niall nodded and Louis was reminded of the night he'd asked Niall this very question and Niall had avoided answering him but Louis didn't mind that he'd protected Harry that way. This was Harry's secret to tell, Harry's vulnerability to share.

 

"Oh god, I'm so sorry," Louis whispered. "This is all my fault...what have I done?"

 

He cast his fear-wide eyes to the blonde lad and Niall surprised him by hugging him.

 

"He didn't read your text, Louis, it's not your fault," Niall assured. "He would have been different I'm sure he would have, if he'd known you wanted to talk..."

 

Louis pulled out of Niall's arms.

 

"He thought I was breaking up with him," he admitted guiltily. "I just wanted some time to think about things...to-" He swallowed. "I'm in love with him," he cast then in a thick voice. "I had trouble accepting it...."

 

Niall's grin slipped onto his lips.

 

"Hey, we all have fights and have our moments," he said. "What Harry did is not your fault, he knows better than to drink and go near razor blades...."

 

Louis flicked him a look.

 

"You can't stop him," Niall said openly. "You just have to try and be there to distract him."

 

"I wasn't there," Louis nodded, feeling a heavy responsibility lie in his stomach.

 

"None of us can be there all the time." Niall accepted.

 

"Where is he?" Louis asked softly.

 

"In his bed, asleep. I laid with him a while after bandaging him up, I hope that's okay," Niall added.

 

Louis pulled him back into a fast, tight hug.

 

"It's okay," he assured breathily, tears at the corners of his eyes.

 

"Just-Louis, can you-" Niall broke off with a wince.

 

Louis tilted his head.

 

"What is it?" He asked.

 

Niall sucked in a breath for courage apparently.

 

"Can you try and pretend like it's not a big thing?" Niall wondered. "It's just-if he thinks everyone is watching him and tip-toeing around then it makes him worse. He just needs love and hugs right now..." Niall offered.

 

Louis let out a breath and a short unamused breath of air.

 

"He's gonna get fuck loads of that," he assured.

 

Niall nodded, appeased.

 

"Okay," he breathed out. "I...uh...can you text me?" He asked. "Just let me know he's okay?"

 

Louis almost invited Niall back inside but it would be awkward, the three of them. It would make Harry feel exactly what Niall described-watched and on edge.

 

"Are you sure you don't want to stay?" Louis said then selflessly. "I can come by tomorrow?"

 

Niall smirked.

 

"No, he'll want to see you, I'm sure of it," Niall said. "As long as everything is okay with you..." he added in a subtle question.

 

Louis met his gaze and held it.

 

"I'm not letting him go," was all Louis said in reply.

 

Niall nodded and headed out while Louis pushed open the front door and headed inside with trepidation lacing his veins.

 

 

//

 

It was funny how you could be so mad and hurt one minute and completely drained of those emotions the next. Honestly Louis didn't care if Harry spent the night in Zayn's bed, the fear of him being seriously hurt had wiped away any other emotions.

 

He headed up to Harry's room and pushed open the door, shedding his denim jacket and after a moment's consideration, his jeans too as he watched Harry sleeping on his front, his curls a messy halo on his head.

 

God, it had been too long. Too long since he'd seen him, too long since he'd smelled him, had breathed the same air as him.

 

He gently rolled onto the bed and spooned Harry's body even if it meant laying on him a little to do so. Louis noticed the bandages around the wrist Harry had hiked up onto his pillow and frowned at the sight, wanting to kiss it all better.

 

When Louis nestled into him, Harry twisted his neck slightly.

 

"Niall?" he whispered. "Uhm...Ni?"

 

"I'm not Niall," Louis said.

 

Harry frowned.

 

"Lou?" He checked.

 

"The one and only," Louis affirmed, squeezing a gentle hand into Harry's side.

 

"Lou, you're here," he breathed, wriggling. "Why're you here? Niall didn't tell you to come did he?"

 

Louis kissed into his hair to soothe him; pressing his weight down into Harry's back to stop him wriggling about.

 

"Shh, it's okay," he murmured. "You need to sleep, hm?"

 

"Had a bad day," Harry pouted.

 

"I know, babe," Louis wrapped his arm around Harry's front tightly as far as it would go before Harry's body and the bed met. "Can you go back to sleep?"

 

Harry sighed out.

 

"Want to kiss you...always want to kiss you..." he mumbled.

 

"Me, too," Louis admitted, quietly, with an ache in his chest. "I've been an idiot...I should never have let you go..."

 

Harry made a noise in his throat, shaking his head into the pillow.

 

"I shouldn't have slept in Zayn's bed, you were right..."

 

"No," Louis breathed into Harry's ear; fingers tickling his belly, the light padding of gauze laying there. "I was wrong. I was wrong to send you away...you didn't see my text, I wanted to talk, I _want_ to talk," he added emphatically.

 

"You do?" Harry husked, looking over his shoulder.

 

"I absolutely do," Louis promised, venturing a shaky smile toward Harry's gaze.

 

Harry breathed out, apparently appeased by that.

 

"I had a drink," he said then.

 

Louis breathed in the scent of his hair, settled a gentle hand around Harry's injured wrist.

 

"I know, Niall told me," he admitted softly.

 

Harry hitched in a breath, tensing at his words.

 

"He told you I cut myself?" He checked and Louis nodded against his neck, laying a small kiss there.

 

Harry frowned.

 

"I'm sorry," he whispered, small and afraid.

 

"Why?" Louis implored, tightening his embrace. "I'm the one that should be sorry. I never wanted to break up with you..."

 

Harry's lips parted and he turned his head sharply to the side, as if trying to see Louis.

 

"You didn't?" Harry sucked in air.

 

Louis thought they should be talking about this tomorrow, should be doing everything tomorrow but Harry needed this, too. Needed this to get back to sleep right now.

 

"I'm so sorry," Louis sighed. "I should have told you, I shouldn't have told you not to wait, I should have replied to my messages sooner..."

 

"Lou," Harry's husky voice cut across his words. "You're here, now," he said.

 

Louis squeezed him tight.

 

"Yeah and you're not getting rid of me." He mused.

 

Harry actually smiled at that- faintly. Louis noticed he was wearing a thick grey knit jumper over a t-shirt and some joggers and he could tell from the faint smell of sweat that Harry probably hadn't changed out of those clothes in the three days he'd spent at Niall's. But Louis didn't care about that, didn't care that Harry's curls were pressed flat on his head from having his head on a pillow all day, didn't care that he was a little bit bristly with not shaving.

 

Louis cared only that Harry was okay. Or as okay as he could be considering everything.

 

"Lou, don't wake up before me?" Harry murmured, eyes blinking sleepily as his words tapered off.

 

"No, babe, I won't," Louis promised, kissing his hair. "I'll be here when you wake up..."

 

And as Harry fell asleep in his arms Louis wondered if that's all Harry ever needed. His promise to be there, to be there when he woke, when he fell, when he cut or drank or whatever it was Harry needed him there for. He wondered if it was really that simple and all his ideas about pleasing Harry in other ways was moot. Maybe Harry really had been truthful about not needing the kink, the rest of it.

 

Louis let his body relax as he fell asleep holding Harry tight in his arms.

 

//

 

It was early when Harry stirred, pushing his right shoulder back persistently to wake Louis. Once Louis was awake, he kept pressing to signal his want to move.

 

Louis leaned back so Harry could work onto his back and once he had, Louis wrapped him up again; laying a sweet, full kiss to his mouth with his soft, soft lips filled with emotion.

 

"Hi, honey," Louis teased huskily, smiling and rubbing his fringe into Harry's.

 

"Hi, gorgeous," Harry managed a little smile back; reaching for a second kiss before he settled back.

 

Louis kissed his forehead and held him tight.

 

"I could kiss you forever," he frowned in realisation of that fact.

 

"Me too," Harry mumbled and Louis tensed for a moment, not sure Harry actually meant it.

 

Louis let his heart settle into a regular rhythm, the adrenaline of the last few days finally dissipating. He'd been so hurt when he'd walked in on Harry and Zayn, assuming the worst and now he felt bad for even thinking it but more than that he was so, so glad he'd been wrong. He wanted to hold Harry in his arms for a long time to come and he hoped the curly-haired guy felt the same way because even for that moment when he'd thought maybe Zayn and Harry had-

 

Well, his heart had broken and that wasn't expected.

 

Louis never meant to fall for him, never meant to let love wrap him and take him over. Love was for fools, for idiots and he had been pretty sure he'd never be victim to it but now that he could actually admit to himself that Harry had stolen his heart he didn't feel like much of a fool at all, even if he _was_ an idiot.

 

Somehow _Harry_ made the whole thing seem much less frightening.

 

Louis wanted to fall for him, wanted to be his guy and wanted more than anything for Harry to love him back. He wondered how long it would take, if it would happen at all. He wondered if Harry had ever been in love before, had anything to compare Louis too. Because Louis was pretty sure he'd never been in love before now that he had Harry to compare everyone else to.

 

And well-

 

He wanted to be everything to Harry, really. Maybe to the point Harry would never need to have a minute away from him but Louis knew that was crazy in the stalking proportions but his love-silly little mind had other ideas. It wanted to possess Harry completely and own every part of him.

 

Louis bit his lip as he gazed at Harry's features, considering whether to kiss him again or not. Harry was regarding him with an equally languid gaze, arms around his middle to keep him close.

 

"I love you," Louis said and if it was the wrong moment, he didn't care.

 

He should have said it the moment he'd walked in on him and Zayn, should have shouted it when Harry had walked into Liam's flat, should have texted it in a hundred languages the moment he'd walked back out.

 

Harry blinked, lips curving upwards.

 

"I love you," he said back, perfectly echoed.

 

Louis smirked, Eskimo-kissing him.

 

"Parrot," he teased.

 

Harry pecked his lips.

 

"No, I really do love you," he said.

 

Louis paused, thumbed his cheek.

 

"Really, really?" he checked.

 

Harry nodded.

 

"I said it first," Louis arched a brow in silent victory.

 

"Was waiting for you to say it," Harry countered. "Didn't want to scare you off."

 

Louis grinned, big and wide.

 

"Oh really?" He mused, leaning down to take Harry's lovely lips against his, drawing him into an incredible kiss.

 

Harry's hands grasped Louis' head either side, fingers infiltrating his hair; turning onto his back to encourage Louis' weight on top of him. Louis slipped between his thighs, no semblance to straddle them and Harry wrapped his long legs around Louis' waist, keeping him there, tight and cosy as their mouths worked together, unified in their silent conversation.

 

_I love you. I love you too. Love me. I do. I want you. Show me._

Louis gasped in air as his body undulated, needing friction and it broke their kiss; Harry arching up as Louis bore down and it took a moment for Louis to realise, to remember which way round this was meant to go.

 

He gazed at Harry confusedly; tilting his head as he captured his breath between kisses. Harry grinned at him, all sweet and mischievous.

 

"I've never thought about it before," Harry said, slow and husky.

 

Louis frowned.

 

"Thought about what?" Louis wondered, unable to resist kissing his throat, running his hand into the thickness of Harry's hair at the back of his head to tug a little so Harry's jaw would tip up and his throat was left exposed. Harry groaned, arching up again.

 

"Letting someone," Harry breathed and Louis was lost.

 

Lost in the taste of his skin- slightly bitter with the salt of his sweat, lost on the way his body felt underneath his smaller one, lost on the sounds Harry made as he kissed him, licked and-yeah, maybe he did bite a little, marking him as he did so.

 

"Louis," Harry jerked his hips up this time and Louis thrusted back; still clothed, still needing friction.

 

"Letting someone what?" Louis picked up the forgotten conversation, the words Harry was trying to express but really Louis wondered why he was bothering.

 

He was working along Harry's collarbones as far as he could reach around the neck of the jumper.

 

"Make love to me," Harry finally cast and his words fit like jigsaw puzzle pieces together and made perfect sense in Louis' mind.

 

He stilled, pulling away slightly.

 

"What?" he whispered.

 

Harry blinked, bit his lip becomingly as if to punctuate his words.

 

"You've thought about it?" Louis frowned.

 

Harry nodded.

 

"Me?" He added, awed.

 

Harry pulled him down for another kiss, wriggling when Louis' lips got distracted again and started down his throat once more.

 

"Lou, I need to shower," he breathed.

 

Louis smirked.

 

"Yeah, you do," he agreed.

 

"Will you come with me?" Harry asked, smiling.

 

Louis shrugged.

 

"May as well, nothing better to do..." he teased as he rolled off Harry's body and toward the edge of the bed.

 

"You better run fast," Harry warned as he scrabbled after him.

 

Louis' high pitched squeals echoed around the walls of the bathroom as Harry caught him up.

 

//

 

Louis had re-bandaged Harry's arms once they were dry, not letting their foreplay progress until he'd patiently restored those protecting swathes. Harry had watched him under keen lashes, swallowing as Louis' fingertips tenderly traced some of the deeper lines, his lips pressing in at the sight of those marks.

 

It was a lot for Harry just to let him see, but Louis carried out his care with minimal fuss which caused Harry to want to kiss him even more. The way Louis cared for him and didn't make a big deal about what had happened.

 

Of course, they still had issues to resolve but right now, those didn't matter. Louis had effortlessly segued from tending his cuts to kissing his belly and Harry had found it strange at first but then the feeling of Louis' lips upon his skin had melted out the strangeness leaving only hot want; deep inside where he wanted to feel Louis, too.

 

Louis didn't ask the questions that Harry knew he wanted to, why did he cut, why his stomach? He just moved onto kissing his thighs; stretching his whole body along Harry's to kiss his mouth in long, heated increments while his hands worked down his body and Harry followed suit; enjoying Louis' lithe muscle form atop his in the same way.

 

Harry soon brought lube into the mix; fingered Louis as he straddled his lap but he wanted to sink into Louis and own him, completely. It wouldn't do to have Louis riding in his lap even though the last time had been about the best sex he'd ever had in his life.

 

He toppled Louis down onto the mattress, gently pushing him onto his front so he was flat to the bed; Harry easing between his thighs and testing his tightness with more fingers easing into his hole.

 

Louis gasped, pushing into his touch. He was so tight this way, pushed right into the bed. Harry wondered if it would be too much.

 

"Think you can take me?" He murmured, low and breathy.

 

Louis whimpered, rutting up against the cotton to ease his need; his backside pushing up for Harry's fill. Harry eased his fingers deeper; curling them to reach his tender spot. Louis cried out.

 

"Fuck-fu-yeah," he stammered into the pillow, grabbing one to push down the bed which Harry quickly and gently positioned under his hips.

 

Harry leaned his weight carefully against Louis' back, sliding his hot heaviness into his ass-crack, making them both moan needily with the move.

 

"I can take you," Louis all but begged. "Make me," he added tightly.

 

Harry couldn't ignore the dirty undertone to Louis' request, couldn't resist it, either. He lubed himself up, parting Louis' cheeks with a thumb, easing his tip into that tight ring of muscle where Louis quivered and whimpered as Harry broached it.

 

"Lou, you okay?" He checked, breathing hot and heavy in his ear as he eased his weight down, trying to bear most of it onto his arm.

 

He pressed his thumb harder against Louis' cheek, trying to open him further. Louis pushed his thighs apart instinctively and Harry eased further down, still breathing hotly into Louis hair, onto the side of his face.

 

"Okay?" He asked again and Louis nodded, speechless, full and stretching around Harry's invasion.

 

"Fuck!" Harry swore behind him, easing out a little. "I'm not even halfway and you're so fucking tight you're full already..."

 

Louis turned his head so his cheek rested on the bed.

 

"Make me," he hummed and Harry sucked in a breath at those words, the words he'd uttered right before he'd begun to sink into him.

 

Harry sank back in to halfway; urging his hips in little rocks to edge into him, letting Louis' body accommodate the tight and intimate position.

 

"Harry," Louis cried out, sounding desperate for him, really.

 

Harry eased all the way back out, sinking gently back in; kissing Louis' neck in soft apology as he bore his weight fully on his smaller body; hips flicking to sink him deep inside where Louis was crying out to feel him.

 

The gasp Louis sucked in was tight and pleasured. And then he pushed back onto the impossible fullness, not able to escape it and he let out an agonised cry as his body tensed in the ultimate ecstasy. Louis came, hard and heavy, his body tightening around Harry as he stayed deep, deep inside him, filling him in the best way possible.

 

"Fuck, Lou..." Harry gasped, barely able to hold on to his own control.

 

When Louis groaned it was out of annoyance for coming so soon, for ruining the moment.

 

"Sorry, sorry..." he panted, hitting the mattress with a fisted hand.

 

"You're so beautiful, fuck," Harry awed, kissing his shoulder.

 

"Keep going," Louis told him assuredly.

 

Harry sucked in air.

 

"You sure?"

 

Louis nodded, pushing back onto him to signal his intent.

 

Harry pulled out, sank back in and began a tender rhythm; Louis' pleasure pushed over the edge with his sensitivity and if he'd thought he couldn't come again, he'd have been wrong because Harry teased him back to hardness; fisted a tight hand around him between his body and the pillow and Louis was taking Harry deep, deep hypnotically filled with every inch as he came a second time, Harry coming inside him with a slow, thick release.

 

Louis shivered beneath him, totally taken and owned by the big man covering his back.

 

They had to shower again, had wrapped up together close and intimate with little, sometimes longer kisses and touches that only true lovers shared, light and owning.

 

Harry held Louis after that when they were still damp and naked, draped in his comforter. His arms had been loving re-bandaged a second time by Louis and Louis' hand rested comfortingly on his belly in silent remembrance.

 

It was much later when they were drinking tea and eating toast with butter and jam that Louis had fetched from Harry's kitchen that they talked. They had dressed into boxers and tees, Harry had sat in his armchair and Louis had curled in his lap, fingers distractedly playing with his curls.

 

Harry blinked up at him, pouting. Louis instantly leaned down to kiss those proffered lips.

 

"I'm sorry that I assumed the worst," Louis began gently.

 

Harry frowned.

 

"I can see why you did."

 

"But I trust you," Louis said, cupping his neck. "At least I thought I did."

 

"It's okay," Harry assured.

 

"It was more Zayn...seeing you together. I knew I couldn't be there when you needed me and it hurt that you chose him of all people, I guess," Louis sighed.

 

Harry grasped his wrist gently, brought his hand to his mouth to kiss his palm.

 

"I'm sorry..."

 

"And-" Louis sucked in a breath.

 

Harry sucked in one too, as though bad news could still be pending.

 

"And I knew I was in love with you," Louis said, smiling shyly as a blush topped his cheeks.

 

Harry had to kiss him, gently guided Louis' mouth to his to do so.

 

"That can make a guy a little insane," he allowed.

 

Louis smiled at him, crinkle-eyed.

 

"What would you know?" He teased.

 

Harry grinned back.

 

"Quite a lot, actually," he promised. "Like, how hard it is to get a guy to date you for instance," he mused. "One that you really like but also happens to have seen you in bed with his flatmate..."

 

Louis licked his lips, frowning.

 

"But you weren't in love with me then," he countered.

 

Harry hid his eyes. Louis lifted his brows. _Holy fuck_. How long had Harry been in love with him? From the _start_? Was that even _possible_?

 

He lifted Harry's chin slowly, letting his olive-green orbs rest upon his face when he was ready. Harry looked into his lap for a long while before his gaze fluttered around and finally rested on a warm blue-grey one.

 

"Harry?" Louis husked, voice stuttering in his throat.

 

"You shouldn't have hugged me," was all he said in reply.

 

Louis felt like crying. He'd never forget the day he first held Harry in his arms, the day they'd met and the day he'd wished Zayn hadn't gotten Harry before he did.

 

 _Oh wow_.

 

Louis wrapped his arms around Harry's neck and pulled him close where Harry nuzzled into his chest, pushing his face into Louis' throat.

 

"Jesus," Louis breathed, stunned.

 

"Well you didn't have to make me say it," Harry grumbled into his skin.

 

Louis smiled, stroking a hand down his hair.

 

"I was only telling you why I was an ass about finding you and Zayn," he mused.

 

Harry cleared his throat, pulling back.

 

"Oh...yeah," he considered, biting his lip.

 

"But, wow," Louis vocalised of his admittance.

 

Harry sighed.

 

"Right, now you know I'm completely smitten can we move on please?"

 

Louis shook his head, kissed Harry's softly swollen lips.

 

"I need to make love with you first," Louis husked and-

 

Louis rode Harry in his lap, coming over both of their chests where they sat panting for a while after, coming back to earth.

 

"What were we talking about?" Harry wondered as they reconvened on the sofa after a clean-up, wrapped up together long ways this time.

 

"About how I wrongly accused you of cheating on me," Louis mused.

 

"Oh that," Harry nodded.

 

Louis pulled away a little, looking into Harry's face.

 

"And how I said stupid, hurtful things after." he added.

 

"Hm," Harry considered this.

 

"And ignored your messages."

 

"But I was stupid too," Harry considered.

 

"True," Louis conceded with a smile.

 

"Do you want to talk more about it?" Harry asked and Louis got the sense they were done talking.

 

"Maybe not," Louis sighed, burrowing back into Harry's arms and Harry rested his head atop Louis' and wrapped him close.

 

"Good, because I really just want to hold you right now." Harry admitted.

 

"Okay," Louis smiled happily against his chest.

 

"And maybe for a bit longer. Like forever. Is that okay?" Harry asked.

 

Louis let out a chuckle against Harry's t-shirted chest.

 

"It's totally okay," he assured.

 

"Good," Harry said and it sounded decidedly immature but Louis just loved him more because of it.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for your loveliness I am touched and heart-warmed!
> 
> I love the new single, do you??
> 
> Ang

It wasn't until Louis got back to his own flat that he found Zayn on the sofa playing FIFA.

 

"Hey, was about to put up posters," Louis called over, grabbing two cokes from the fridge to bring over, sitting beside his flat-mate.

 

"Yeah sorry," Zayn threw him a smile. "Thought you could use a break from me..."

 

Louis nodded. "Yeah, maybe."

 

"I'm really sorry, Lou," Zayn said then, turning toward him on the sofa.

 

"I know...I'm sorry too," he arched a brow. "I should have believed you."

 

"Is everything okay?" Zayn checked. "With you and Harry?"

 

Louis sucked in a breath.

 

"We talked," he offered. "We're okay...he did hurt himself though," Louis added worriedly.

 

Zayn's face paled and his lips parted.

 

"What is it?" Louis asked.

 

"That night," he said, choking on his words. "I had to sleep next to him because he was trying to get to the bathroom to find razor blades," he shared. "I didn't know if I should tell you, I didn't want Harry to get mad at me for telling you..."

 

Louis gasped in a breath, Liam's words suddenly coming true. There was a reason for Harry being in Zayn's bed and it made total, perfect sense. And he should have waited to hear that instead of storming out in anger. Harry had hurt himself because of his misconceptions and it didn't rest easily on his conscience.

 

"Thanks for telling me now," Louis said earnestly, soft and low.

 

Zayn flicked him a look.

 

"Is Harry okay?"

 

Louis nodded. "It's my fault. I didn't handle it well," he sighed.

 

Zayn reached across and hugged him.

 

"It'll work out in the end," he suggested.

 

Louis smiled at that. He thought it might, too.

 

"I have papers to finish and a million other things to do before tonight," Louis said, standing.

 

"Tonight?" Zayn led, eyes sparkling.

 

"Harry's picking me up," he shared. "Not sure where we're going..."

 

"To heaven and back?" Zayn suggested as Louis walked away but not before he picked up the cushion in the chair and tossed it at him.

 

//

 

Harry looked magical with his hair in cork-screw curls and his body wrapped in his new blue jeans and a long, long sleeve jumper he wrapped around his hands. It was petrol-blue and somehow brought out the green in his eyes.

 

Louis opened his door and fell in love all over again.

 

"Hi," he smiled, breath stolen from his lungs as Harry moved to hug him hello.

 

Louis made sure to share that greeting.

 

"Lou-bear," Harry sighed as he squeezed him.

 

"Oh, the nick-name thing," Louis remembered fondly as he called a goodbye to Zayn, heading down the stairs with Harry.

 

"Got your overnight bag?" Harry checked.

 

Louis paused, ran back up the stairs, opened the door and grabbed his duffle bag, calling another goodbye to Zayn before he re-joined Harry.

 

Louis kissed his cheek in thanks.

 

"Almost had to wear your clothes again," Louis mused.

 

Harry twined his fingers through Louis'.

 

"Then again, you can leave your bag behind," he teased to which Louis grinned.

 

He liked that Harry liked owning him.

 

"I didn't know what to wear," Louis admitted, looking down at his outfit of black skinny jeans, plimsolls and a t-shirt with a suit jacket, sleeves rolled up on his forearms.

 

Harry gave him a long look up and down.

 

"You should have stuck with boxers," he offered honestly.

 

Louis rolled his eyes. "Sure, whatever you say, Harold..."

 

Harry opened the passenger door to his car, Louis sliding in and throwing his bag in the backseat.

 

"So where are we going?" Louis wondered as he pulled his seat-belt on, clicking it into place while Harry started up the car.

 

Harry smiled smugly as he pulled away.

 

"I'm cooking for you," he said. "And then I'm giving you a massage," he added matter-of-factly.

 

Louis shot him a look.

 

"I think it's me who needs to make things up to you, Haz," Louis mused softly.

 

Harry shrugged.

 

"I promised you a massage weeks ago. And anyway I really considered showing you off tonight but I wanted you all to myself. It's very selfish of me I know..."

 

Louis couldn't help his smile- looked out of the window quickly before Harry caught it.

 

"Very," he teased lowly.

 

"I can show you off tomorrow when you're all sex-mussed and love-bitten," Harry decided.

 

Louis lifted his brows, his breath catching in his lungs. So Harry had decided they were having sex tonight. And Louis was to be the recipient of love-bites. He opened his mouth but nothing came out.

 

"Then what do I do to make it up to you?" Louis asked eventually, looking over at his boyfriend.

 

Harry pursed his lips, holding in a smile.

 

"I'll show you later," he promised.

 

Louis' brows rose high on his forehead as his breath left his lungs. Maybe Harry was going to get Louis to spank him or something equally kinky; something Louis wasn't entirely comfortable with but he was willing to see what Harry had planned before he decided anything for certain.

 

He looked out of the window again, searching for words.

 

"By the way I don't want to share you tonight, either," Louis murmured. "I would have, but-well, I'm glad we're doing this," he said.

 

Harry nodded and hummed, breaking into one of his songs which Louis grinned at, relaxing back to watch Harry drive, letting his husky voice surround him.

 

//

 

 

Harry cooked him a lovely Italian-inspired dish; a sauce that was packed with parmesan (which happened to be Louis' favourite cheese) and tomatoes and herbs spread over chicken and served with pasta.

 

He served it with an Italian beer and even made tiramisu for dessert. Louis maybe enjoyed feeding spoonfuls of that creamy, frothy dessert to Harry more than he enjoyed the dessert itself.

 

Louis had slipped out of his suit jacket some time ago; comfortably surrounded by Harry's legs as they cuddled on the sofa and well-

 

They kissed, too.

 

Maybe a lot. Maybe Louis couldn't stop kissing Harry actually or Harry couldn't stop kissing Louis, Louis wasn't really sure either way as he lost himself in Harry's arms; his big, lazy body wrapping around him acting as a perfect mattress to just rub against; slowly working between his thighs to give himself some leverage.

 

Once leverage was obtained, things progressed pretty quickly. Harry was cupping his face, slanting to flick his tongue into his mouth as Louis whined and rutted against him, already hard in his jeans and so, so desperate for release. It had been far too long since they'd last done this, a matter of days but it felt like years.

 

Even as Harry tugged insistently gently as Louis' t-shirt; persuading the fabric to leave his torso, Louis felt like this was their first time, all over again. Harry was so reverent, so soft and-

 

His _hands_.

 

His hands were on him, coaching over his skin with slow appreciation even when they were both burning up with need. Louis made an impatient noise and got up, breathlessly removing his jeans and boxers; reaching over to tug at Harry's belt. finding the other man's hands upon his, slowing him down.

 

"Kiss me," Harry husked and Louis couldn't deny him that.

 

He sank back onto the sofa, knees pressing into the edge of the cushions as Harry's hands kept his minorly captive; working their mouths together in tempered urgency, drawing out the sweet ache; the absolute storm of need waiting to be released.

 

"Harry, oh fuck," Louis gasped in his ear as his hands finally gave way and Louis' fingers fixed on his belt suddenly loosened the buckle. It was far, far hotter this way he realised. It was erotic beyond words.

 

Each movement was deliberate, an act of stripping as the belt was pulled through the buckle then gently tugged through his belt loops. Harry lifted his hips to help that along and Louis leaned in to push his fingers down the back of his jeans to cup his ass, squeezing that flesh and sinking into another devastating kiss.

 

"You shouldn't be legal," Harry flicked his blown-out eyes to Louis', the green of them dark and full of want.

 

"You're the one making me wait," Louis murmured, standing to pull Harry's top off finally- since he'd had his hand up there most of the night on his torso already- but that didn't temper Louis' reaction to him, he still paused and swallowed at the sight.

 

"Lou," Harry croaked, reaching for him.

 

"Wait," Louis kissed his chest gently, leaned away to fetch lube; hurrying back to the sofa and trying not to think about that but- "Hey, wanna move to the bedroom?" He checked, just in case.

 

Harry shook his head, his eyes falling to Louis' erect dick, hard and a little bit wet at the tip. Louis felt his hips twitch and sucked in a breath; closing his eyes to control that particular urge. Harry's large hand would be around him in short, short moments and he leaned down to kiss at Harry's belly in small compensation for wanting to sink into him.

 

"You want me to ride you?" Louis arched a brow. "Is that how I get to make things up?"

 

Harry managed a smirk- a slow, filthy kind of smirk that made his eyes glitter unfairly.

 

"How would you want me, if it were the other way around?" Harry asked, surprising Louis for a moment with his question.

 

This was new, they didn't usually talk about this but-

 

God he was hard and his skin was flushed and he almost came right then; kneeling between Harry's lovely naked thighs thinking about how he'd like to fuck him. The answer was even harder to focus on since he imagined fucking him every which way and none seemed to have a particular preference as his mind went haywire with the visuals.

 

"Lou..." Harry leaned up, humming into his ear, tugging on his dick loosely. "How would you want me?" He asked again, softer, voice barely recognisable.

 

Louis became a bit breathless with it; dragged Harry into another long and gratuitous kiss until Harry reached for Louis' hand and brought it between his legs, brushing over his dick, his beautiful balls and lower, gently pressing against Louis' fingertips as they reached his ass-crack.

 

He didn't need to ask the question again, Louis' lips parted as he intook a sharp breath, eyes flicking up.

 

"You can make it up to me like this," Harry said.

 

And there was a tremor in his voice and his hands but Louis just sat jaw-slack and blinked in awe.

 

"What?" He whispered. "Harry, no, you're not ready..." He murmured, confused.

 

Harry reached for the lube bottle, pressed it into Louis' free hand.

 

"Louis, please," he begged.

 

Louis' face creased with the knowledge of what Harry was asking but they were both too wired to take this slow. He bit his lip, reaching down to kiss his mouth, kissing a path down his torso toward his lap.

 

"Lou," he cried as Louis took him deep in his mouth, stroking himself as he did do, aiming to come all over Harry's ass before he even thought about fingering him.

 

"I need time," Louis panted, looking at him with intense eyes. "Let's come first then we'll make love, yeah?"

 

Harry let out a breath, almost in relief or in reluctant acceptance, Louis wasn't sure but he hollowed his cheeks and tightened his fist on himself and didn't have to work to hard to have both their bodies spilling over with the high they'd built up.

 

He took advantage of the satedness in Harry's form to gently tuck his knees up, propping a cushion underneath his hips to get him just right where he could-

 

"Slowly," Harry grasped Louis' wrist as his well-lubed fingers headed for his rim.

 

Louis nodded.

 

"I know," he kissed his belly lovingly, running a finger teasingly up and down his crack; over his hole before pausing there, pressing experimentally to see how Harry reacted.

 

His pupils dilated, his lips parted and expelled a sigh; an excited sigh.

 

"Okay?" Louis checked, a slight frown on his brow.

 

Harry reached up and brushed it away with his thumb. Louis took that as permission to continue, slipped a finger inside and marvelled at the tight feel of him; the hot, smooth feel of his muscles inside. Louis had to kiss him again, couldn't _not_. He slipped his tongue into Harry's mouth when he whimpered as Louis shunted forward, burying his whole finger in deep. It took a lot of concentration not to go too fast and Louis hoped he was doing okay.

 

He flicked his eyes to Harry's crotch- right in his eyeline- saw him becoming hard again, thought that maybe he was doing okay since Harry must be enjoying it. He kissed at his hips, pressing love-bites there; using his fingers to gently pull his ass-cheeks apart as he lined up a second digit to go inside.

 

"Yeah, oh, yeah," Harry pushed his hips back to take it and Louis made sure he applied more lube before fingering inside, stretching Harry's taut muscles.

 

He paused and Louis kissed at his abs, licked into his belly button, flicked his tongue over his little bud nipples while he accustomed to it, to the feel, the sensation. He began to withdraw as Harry remained frozen, tense with unease.

 

"No," Harry grasped his wrist. "Can you-move, or something?" He begged hoarsely.

 

Louis obliged, very carefully twisting his wrist, widening his fingers apart. Harry gasped and bucked up, pushing back again with a little gargled growl of appreciation.

 

"God, Lou! I didn't know it could be like this," his eyes widened to punctuate his emotions and Louis just had to kiss him again.

 

Again, again, keeping him tight near his body with his free arm while his fingers filled him and he eased them in and out as Harry began to wriggle needily.

 

"You like that?" Louis murmured into his ear, kissing his jaw, down his neck.

 

"More, please," Harry begged, mindless, throwing his head back which was invitation really that Louis wasn't going to refuse. He sucked on his neck; smirking to himself how Harry had planned to cover him in bites but he was getting the boastful of pleasure of making Harry his and he felt excitement skitter up his body at that.

 

He tucked a third finger into play, adding more lube, thrusting his fingers in and out as Harry's hips began a vague rhythm against his hand.

 

"You, Lou," Harry reached for him, biting back a moan. "I want it to be you in me..."

 

Louis paused, swallowed down a sound he was sure would sound bloody inappropriate right now and eased a finger out to scissor the two; hearing Harry's surprised gasp once more.

 

"It was never like this...why wasn't it ever like this...?"

 

Louis kissed at his thighs, leaving marks there as Harry's sounds became high-pitched, desperate and needy. Louis barely moved his wrist now, watching transfixed as Harry fucked himself on his hand. It was like some kind of strange dream he never wanted to wake up from.

 

"Jesus, Harry," Louis bit out; gently removing his fingers; slipping to the carpet to tug Harry down too and he knelt behind him; knees between his although if Harry ever let Louis do this again, he'd keep his knees in close, make him tighter.

 

"M'ready, Lou..." Harry panted, already leaning his forearms on the sofa cushion as Louis ran a gentle hand down his back; widening up his thighs.

 

He felt Harry tense, kissed his neck until he relaxed, kissed his shoulders until he softened and kissed his dimples above his behind until he melted. He was practically sprawled on the sofa and Louis ran his fingers into his bush of hair, pressing his lips to his skin in silent addiction.

 

"Want me to kiss you there?" Louis asked, voice rough and betraying his need.

 

"Just fuck me already," Harry panted, at his limit again already, something he really hadn't expected to happen from being finger-fucked by Louis.

 

It had taken a lot of trust to let him but Harry had somehow known that Louis would make it nothing less than incredible and he was so, so right. He cried out as a tongue flicked into him, deep and fast and then Louis was pushing at his rim; big and hard and hot. God, he was so hot. It burned when he eased in; one hand between Harry's shoulder blades as if pushing him down slightly into the sofa, the other on his hip. Louis' knees pushed his own further apart, Harry instinctively widened his thighs.

 

Louis paused, for a second.

 

"Haz...shall I wear a condom?" He asked; stroking his belly with gentle fingers, nuzzling his neck.

 

Harry shook his head.

 

"No, want to feel you," he assured breathily.

 

"Fuck, I love you," Louis cast, overwhelmed with filling him; so tight around him as his muscles protested to his invasion.

 

Harry was wincing, face and body relaxing as Louis' sweet kisses continued over his back; across his shoulders. onto his neck.

 

 _Oh_.

 

"Oh, god, yes," Harry sighed out as Louis found a particularly sweet spot to kiss.

 

"Yeah?" Louis whispered, fucking up into him; filling him right up.

 

Harry choked on the sensation, pulling up onto his forearms which Louis' owning hands didn't try and stop. He took Harry's big erection into his hand and began to stroke and Harry just tipped back his head; leaning against Louis' chest as he sat back on him almost; sounds pulled from his throat.

 

"Again-fuck, again," he begged.

 

Louis complied, gently pushing him forward once more and Harry felt the difference, found more give in the way his body curved but then Louis' was filling him over and over; gently fucking him in to the sofa with each stroke; holding back in a way that Harry could sense but also, silently appreciated. He'd need to get used to this, used to being the bottom, used to being made love to.

 

If this was how it felt for Louis though, Harry was more inclined to let it happen more often. He could really learn something from the way Louis thrusted, from the angle he went at; the way his hands stroked at him, soothed him. The way his lips kissed him, spoke to him softly in his ear; told him how _amazing_ he was, how _sexy_ , how _gorgeous_ he felt...it was a combination of Louis consuming him completely from every angle that had him coming hard and loud against the sofa.

 

Louis tried to catch his breath for long moments after; overwhelmed by the whole thing.

 

"Oh, jeez...oh, fuck," he murmured as he eased out.

 

Harry sagged into the sofa and Louis quickly wrapped his arms around his ribs, cuddling him.

 

"Haz, you okay?" He checked.

 

Harry nodded, speechless.

 

Louis helped him up; cleaned him up the best he could with wipes and then went to fix the mess on the living room floor and upholstery before trudging back to the bedroom; slipping into Harry's room with a trepid step, light and sneaky.

 

"Where the fuck did you go?" Harry accused sleepily, voice deeper than ever.

 

Louis went hard in an instant and ignored it, rolling onto the bed and pulling up the comforter over them both.

 

"To clean up," Louis kissed the back of Harry's neck as he spooned him.

 

Harry pouted.

 

"Was gone too long," he accused sulkily.

 

"I'm sorry," Louis tucked his chin over Harry's shoulder, nuzzling into his neck. "I'm here, babe."

 

Harry sighed out, re-wrapping Louis' arms around his middle and twining their fingers so they were tightly embraced.

 

"Thank you," Harry said then, low and husky.

 

"What on earth for?" Louis wondered. For cleaning up?

 

"For-you know," Harry said quietly, the suggestion in his tone sufficient to clue Louis off.

 

"Oh," he breathed, tightening his arms a notch. He kissed behind Harry's ear. "Oh, well, no need to thank me," he assured.

 

"There is," Harry mused tiredly. "Wasn't good for me before and you're the first."

 

Louis frowned. The first? The first to touch there? Well he couldn't be, Harry had already told him he'd had a bad experience...then-

 

 _Oh_.

 

Oh holy hell.

 

The first to make love to him. Shit. That was-that was _incredible_.

 

"You trusted me," Louis only managed, on a half-gasp in, awed at his words.

 

Harry smiled.

 

"Fucking perfect you were, too..."

 

Louis beamed at that, felt a little proud warmth fill his chest.

 

"I love you," Louis whispered, nosing into his curls, holding him tight.

 

"I love you too," Harry replied, smiling serenely.

 

Louis couldn't have moved if his life depended on it. He sent a prayer heaven-wards that it didn't.

 

//

 

Harry made him breakfast as well. Louis was beginning to wonder if Harry would be open to a quickie wedding because he wanted to marry him more than anything right now.

 

He watched as Harry made them pancakes with a proper little pancake pan and rich, thick batter; slicing fruit and adding syrup and squirty cream to the breakfast island where Louis sat; dropping kisses to his lips with each delivery.

 

Louis didn't miss the way Harry's gait was a little heavy, the way he moved slightly slower, a little more careful than usual. When he served up a plate of hot pancakes and slid onto a stool, Louis studied his face and caught the slight wince cross his features.

 

"Did I hurt you?" He asked honestly.

 

He had tried his best to hold back last night but there was something about Harry's pretty little sounds and virgin-tightness that had pushed him over his edge.

 

Harry smiled at him lazily, still looking thoroughly fucked. Louis really thought Harry's prediction was inside out. He smiled back.

 

"Lou, I'm fine," he promised.

 

Louis sighed a little, ate his food while it was hot, decided that the wedding needed to happen today before anybody else got to taste Harry's pancakes.

 

"So, I have work," he broached gently, bringing them back to reality.

 

"Me, too," Harry admitted.

 

"You do?" Louis sounded ecstatic at that news.

 

"Yeah, the shopping centre is paying me to sing a few songs this afternoon and I've a few gigs line up this week," Harry shared.

 

"That's brilliant," Louis grinned and Harry stared at him, making Louis frown at him confusedly.

 

"What?" He wondered.

 

Harry shook his head, ate half a banana in one mouthful. Louis poked his cheek suggestively and Harry tried to bite his finger as Louis quickly retracted his hand.

 

"I guess I should go," Louis said as they finished up their food and tea and shared a lovely fond cuddle in the middle of Harry's kitchen.

 

Harry made a noise of dissent and hugged him harder in his big, loving arms. Louis sighed. He could probably swoon right now if Harry weren't holding him up.

 

"I know, babe," Louis agreed softly.

 

Harry pushed his lips toward Louis'; ear.

 

"Tonight?" He asked.

 

Louis felt the same. He wanted to see Harry whenever they could manage to fit it in really.

 

"Okay," he agreed and only then did Harry let him go; to kiss him and send him gently on his way with a gentle pat to his behind that Louis glared daggers at him for.

 

That was almost worse than smacking him. Almost.

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again thank you for comments, kudos and all round kindness
> 
> Ang

 

It was around midday that Louis got his text.

 

**You're not gonna believe this...**

Louis smirked.

 

**_You found a birds nest in your hair?_ **

****

**Heeeyy!**

**_Sorry, do tell..._ **

****

**Joseph put me back on the record. I have a proper contract and everything. I'm going to get paid after all :)**

**_No way! :o What made him change his mind?_ **

****

Louis grinned at his hand-set, his eyes lighting with secret mischief.

 

**Some small guy came and threatened him apparently...**

_Oh shit_. Louis bit his lip. Harry _knew_. He knew and he didn't know if he'd appreciate Louis getting involved. He decided to play dumb.

 

**_Awesome, anyone we know?_ **

****

**You're getting a blow-job tonight, Tomlinson...maybe two?**

Louis laughed out loud at Harry's reply, his cheeks warming pleasantly at the promise. How he could go from hated to worshipped in a few short days.

 

 ** _Must I share you with the world tonight?_** Louis wondered.

 

He waited patiently for a reply.

 

 **You're not leaving my bedroom until I say.** Harry replied, much to his delight and intrigue.

 

**_You're getting the cuffs out then ;)_ **

****

**Too fucking right I am... :p**

Louis put his phone down for fear of combusting, literally in his chair. He didn't want to start a fire at the education centre they'd set up for the needy teens, after all.

****

He literally couldn't wait to see Harry again and dragged himself through all his classes and paperwork until it was time to leave and then he spent the least amount of time possible getting ready- throwing on sweats and an old t-shirt; pulling a beanie over his soft hair before he made his way to Harry's.

 

Technically, Harry could come to theirs because Zayn had promised not to be a shit anymore but Louis preferred Harry's place, liked the space and the fact the neighbours wouldn't hear them through the wall unlike at his pissy little flat.

 

When Harry opened the door to him he wrapped him up and slipped the beanie from his head to run his fingers into Louis' hair, lips owning his in a strong; overt kiss.

 

One of Harry's neighbours passed the front door as they were entwined that way, calling a friendly 'hello!' which Harry returned with a distracted wave before dragging Louis inelegantly through his doorway and into the hall. Louis sort-of tripped into his body; pressing against him which Harry righted by turning them; pressing Louis into the wall instead.

 

"Jesus, I cant get enough of you," Harry husked; grasping Louis' thighs to help him jump into his arms; tightening his legs around his middle as Harry pressed into him.

 

Louis ran his hands through his hair, over his shoulders; down his back. He held on tight as Harry shifted, moving them and he didn't care where to; he just wanted Harry inside him already; showing him who was boss.

 

It had been weeks since Harry had slapped his ass but the way his hands were owning his generous behind Louis wasn't surprised when it happened again; Harry equally stunned and apologetic as the first time.

 

Louis had pushed his palms back onto his butt and told him to quit worrying; letting his large hand massage and grope that flesh, letting his palm crack down upon his ass-cheek once more as Harry groaned out loud.

 

Harry ended up taking Louis against the wall; his thighs tightly pressing into his sides; those love-bites he promised sucked into his skin. It was later when they were cuddling on the sofa that Harry shifted.

 

"Hey, I got something," he husked; reaching for a velour bag on the coffee table.

 

"You did?" Louis lifted his head from Harry's chest, kissing over his necklace lovingly.

 

Harry nodded, lifting the bag.

 

"Show me then," Louis encouraged, hands taken up with holding his weight and touching Harry.

 

Harry slipped the draw-cord loose and pulled out two leather collars.

 

They were brown leather, similar to the one Louis had taken a liking to except they didn't have studs on, they were plain thick leather with an obvious buckle on one side and an 'O' ring connecting it at the back. They looked the same when Harry pulled them out but one was thinner than the other, the one Harry playfully rested onto Louis' head.

 

"That's yours because you like them dainty," he teased.

 

Louis smirked, blinking, eyeing Harry's.

 

"Was there a matching leash?" He wondered.

 

Harry made a noise in his throat, eyes dashing to Louis'.

 

"I wasn't sure if-I didn't think you'd..." He swallowed.

 

"Did you buy it?" Louis asked, scraping his lower teeth over his top lip as he reached for his collar from the top of his head and secured it loosely around his throat the way he liked to- like a necklace almost.

 

Harry bit into his lower lip, eyes flicking to Louis' neck.

 

"Yeah, but we don't have to-"

 

"Can I see it?" Louis cut over him.

 

Harry blinked, pupils widening at his question.

 

"Don't tease me," he begged on a whisper.

 

Louis swallowed. _Fuck no_. He wouldn't do that.

 

"I wouldn't do that..."

 

Harry eased off the sofa to run up the stairs, returning with the leather lead. He pulled on his boxers, passed Louis his too as he picked up Louis' t-shirt on the return journey with a suspicious squint.

 

"That's my tee-shirt," he recognised.

 

Louis grinned, big and inane.

 

"Fuck, yeah," he answered confidently.

 

Harry kissed his forehead as he sat back on the sofa sideways; Louis propping up between his legs; taking the lead from his fingers.

 

"Put your collar on then," Louis instructed and Harry had the widest, greenest eyes trained on Louis as he fastened the collar into place, almost as if he didn't trust him.

 

Louis felt a slight tremor in his hands as he reached up to connect the lead; clipping it into place. He tugged it, just gently. Harry gasped, lips falling open, swollen with kisses and obscene in colour.

 

"Jesus," Louis sighed, cupping his face and kissing him again; tugging him closer with the leather lead in his hand, wrapping the length of it around his fist to keep him close; keeping the tension taut as their lips crashed together.

 

"Lou," Harry groaned, rolling Louis toward the back of the sofa with the intention of getting Louis under him. he didn't care how, he just needed to feel his small and lovely body beneath his; every inch of it.

 

"So you like being on a lead but you like being in charge?" Louis tried to get his head around that.

 

"I don't fucking know what I want around you," Harry panted; sucking a love-bite into his neck. "I just like you," he admitted. "Everything else is so confusing..."

 

Louis could quite agree. He was pretty sure he wasn't a big fan of tugging on leather collars- or leashes- before Harry but suddenly it was very important that he did both of those things because he was naked in Harry's lap and about to ride him and Harry was hard and desperate for his rough-touch.

 

Louis manoeuvred over Harry's lap; turning away so that Harry only had his beautiful back to look at and the way that Louis looked over his shoulder at him was breath-taking but Harry managed to lick stripes over his hole as Louis leaned down to suck him and he grabbed the lube to finger him before Louis shuffled down; still with the lead around his wrist which tugged teasingly at Harry's neck.

 

Before Louis eased back onto him, he twisted, flicking Harry an intense look.

 

"Put the lead on me," he said, breathy and turned on.

 

Harry frowned. _What?_

 

Louis tugged at it insistently.

 

"Unclip it, attach it to mine," he instructed.

 

Harry followed his commands, silenced by Louis' suggestion and when he clipped the lead to Louis' collar and wrapped the leather around his own wrist, he could see exactly where Louis was going with this. Riding his lap; facing away with the collar to tug on... _Fuck_. Harry had met his husband and he wasn't sure how to propose.

 

"Fu--oh god, sweet Jesus-I..." His words tumbled out in stutters, his mind an electric mix of images and thoughts and feelings. Fuck, so many feelings. So many hot, twisted feelings that Harry could only push his hips up so his erection slid up Louis' ass crack in suggestion for what he needed.

 

Louis leaned back and took him deep; one slow unhurried move to take Harry's fill. Harry was suspended somewhere between heaven and hell, unable to form words or thoughts as his manic mind literally froze on this image. Louis, taking him; collared and restrained.

 

The way Louis leaned forward a little and grasped his thighs as he couldn't take all of him had Harry fucking up, trying to fill those last few inches and yeah it was probably selfish and shitty of him to try and force his way into Louis' body that way but god; his back was incredible, it arched and twisted and the muscles under the skin shifted so beautifully and his ass was perfect, so fucking perfect and his cheeks split to take him he could watch himself disappear into that hot tightness and if it wasn't enough that he could shift up; try and push inside; Louis was riding him, taking every inch he could and choking on it with small pants and noises of appreciation.

 

Harry almost didn't want to tug on the lead to test his reaction, was almost afraid to break the spell but Louis tipped his chin up, a signal to Harry that he could if he wanted. Louis widened his thighs; sank deeper with a slowness that made Harry suck in air quickly so as not to pass out. He ever-so-carefully undulated his hips; his last inches disappearing inside Louis as he took all of him, deep and snug.

 

"Fuck," Harry hissed, closing his eyes to it. He opened them only to tug gently on the leash.

 

Louis groaned and began to move again; fucking Harry harder; really pushing back and grasping at his thighs roughly as he rode his way to his peak. Harry unclipped the lead to kiss his neck; the way he leaned up and bent his knees slightly making Louis still in his lap with a surprised gasp at their even tighter fit.

 

Harry's hand went to his waist; squeezed there, eased him into a new rhythm, fingers running onto his belly to feel the muscles there; his large hand finally wrapping around Louis' dick. His lips were by his ear as he panted out, their position so intimate and no room for anything more than the sweet rock of their hips to press Louis' sweet spot; the same way Harry's teeth sank into his neck.

 

"Lou, god...Lou....what you do to me," Harry pulsated his hips to reach him, feeling so close to Louis they could actually be one person which he didn't mind at all, not one bit.

 

Louis reached back to cup his neck; full, full, full and barely able to move with the tightness of it, barely able to move with the thought of coming; all over his belly and Harry's thighs.

 

"You're mine, Lou," Harry kissed his shoulder, sank his teeth there too.

 

"Fuck, yeah," Louis agreed mindlessly. "Yours...all yours..."

 

Harry smiled grimly at his agreement; felt his body peak excitedly at the words. He splayed his hand on Louis' belly as if trying to feel himself deep inside.

 

"Mine," he growled as he embedded himself one final time, body jerking with his orgasm,

 

It was enough to bring Louis falling hard and fast around him; his come striping obscenely over his torso; patterning onto Harry's thighs and it took several moments for the charged moment to unravel.

 

Louis couldn't actually move, his body was tight and his thighs were killing him.

 

"Uhm...lay back?" Harry hummed, still catching his breath as Louis fidgeted.

 

Harry supported him as he stretched his legs out from under him; using Harry as a mattress. Harry quickly wrapped his arms around him so he wouldn't feel the need to move.

 

"Haz," Louis rolled his head about so his soft hair skittered across Harry's chest. "I can't stay like this," he bemoaned.

 

Harry released him only for Louis to wriggle until he was face-down instead of face-up. Harry re-applied his arms; kissed his temple.

 

"Jesus, I'm into you," he said, making Louis blurt out an amused breath.

 

"Me too," Louis admitted.

 

Harry frowned, a hand going across Louis' lovely shoulders.

 

"You didn't just do that for me, did you?" He checked.

 

Louis shook his head.

 

Harry hummed, kissing him again.

 

"Good, don't want you to do things for me."

 

"I've always like the collars," Louis admitted.

 

Harry remembered this.

 

"But you were never keen on the leads..."

 

Louis smiled against his chest, kissed his pec.

 

"Until now," he amended.

 

Harry sucked in air again.

 

"You looked amazing," he offered.

 

Louis lifted his crinkle-eyed smiling face to peer at him.

 

"Yeah?"

 

Harry nodded.

 

"Yeah," he agreed lowly.

 

Louis settled back against his chest. Harry hugged him in.

 

"Please don't tell me you have to work tomorrow," Harry murmured.

 

Louis wriggled.

 

"Yep," he mused. "Do you have a gig?"

 

"Not until late," Harry shared.

 

"Can I come?" Louis wondered.

 

Harry smirked.

 

"I'd love you to," he assured, all innuendo.

 

Louis groaned, looking at him again.

 

"You really have the energy to do this again?" He marvelled.

 

Harry beamed, big and innocent- entirely not innocent, of course. He was already hard again, Louis could feel him pressing into his thigh.

 

"Jesus, Haz," Louis sighed.

 

"You don't have to do anything," Harry offered.

 

Louis chuckled, shuffling over so he was on his side on the sofa. He pushed his knee into the cushions.

 

"Can you manage like this?" he wondered, breathing out with a resigned sigh.

 

Harry kissed his neck.

 

"No, Lou, c'mon," he wrapped an arm around his middle to nuzzle him.

 

Louis leaned back, looking over his shoulder, his face half curious, half worried.

 

"C'mon, turn over, let me cuddle with you," Harry murmured.

 

Louis remembered that his boyfriend's manners overtook his sexual need. And although Louis felt the constant insecurity of not being enough for him, Harry's apparent concern for Louis over-rode all that and only made him feel entirely loved. Louis wasn't sure he'd ever felt that way before. He turned over slowly; Harry's arms slipping around his waist as he curled into his chest once more.

 

"Love you," Harry assured as he kissed into the softness of Louis' hair.

 

"Hmm," Louis agreed; sinking into sated sleep.

 

"I wanna marry you one day, Louis Tomlinson," Harry murmured to Louis' sleeping form.

 

He just hoped Louis might even say yes when he asked.

 

//

 

Zayn had invited Louis to another party. He'd extended the invite to include Harry and Niall and even Liam; the five of them becoming fast friends.

 

The only down side was that it was fancy-dress. It was short-notice so Louis had to rush to the costume shop after work one night before they closed and the only costume he could think of to match Harry's was a fireman get-up and even then he could only get the accessories and some boots because they didn't have anything in his size (small- but the shop assistant called him petite and suggested he try the female section).

 

Harry had already told him he planned to go as a cat; he even had the perfect velour collar and lead all ready to go with his cat-ears and tail and Louis had spent most of his week at work trying not to get hard every time the image of Harry dressed up came into his mind. Which was often.

 

They had agreed to meet there in the end since Harry had a meeting with a producer in the late afternoon and Niall wanted to spend time with Louis without Harry being around for some reason so Louis headed into the house where Zayn was DJing with the blonde lad in tow.

 

Niall had picked a rather fitting banana-suit for his costume, making Louis smile every time he looked at him.

 

"How am I meant to take you seriously?" Louis asked as he handed Niall a pint.

 

Niall smirked.

 

"You're not..."

 

"Didn't you want to talk though?" Louis checked, wondering if he'd mistaken Niall's intent for them to come together without Harry tonight.

 

Niall swallowed some beer.

 

"I just wondered how Harry's doing," he offered lightly, more lightly than Louis guessed he actually felt. "You know, after..."

 

Louis nodded quickly. "He's healed up now," he said in acknowledgement.

 

"And does he seem...you know...okay?" Niall hedged.

 

Louis thought about how brilliant things were right now. He couldn't help his grin.

 

"He seems to be," he offered.

 

Niall nodded, taking another sip of his drink.

 

"I-uh...have you thought about moving in together or anything like that?" Niall wondered then.

 

Louis gave him a bemused look. Trust Niall to be nosy. Louis had thought about that a lot lately, not really content with having to shift from flat to flat especially with his and Harry's jobs having different working hours. But he wasn't sure if Harry was ready for that, really. It was still early days in their relationship and he didn't want to smother him.

 

"Can't say we've discussed it," Louis admitted.

 

Niall slipped him a furtive look.

 

"You probably know this already but Harry really needs someone to be around him," Niall said.

 

Louis regarded him interestedly.

 

"Yeah, I had noticed," Louis mused of Harry's slight tendency toward clinginess.

 

It was one of his favourite things about Harry and something he was careful to balance by giving him his space. Louis was sure if he and Harry spent too much time together he'd lose his desire to be with Louis quite so much. It felt kind of odd to be discussing it with his best mate though; but then Louis considered he and Niall had a special kind of relationship since the cutting incident. They were like curators of the fine art that was Harry.

 

"I think you could be that guy, Louis," Niall suggested.

 

"Maybe," Louis conceded, flicking his lashes down over his eyes shyly. He wanted to be with Harry more than he'd care to admit to anyone really. Although he hadn't admitted it to Harry yet so he wasn't really in a position to tell anyone else anyway.

 

Niall cupped his shoulder.

 

"Knew you were good from the start," he nodded.

 

Louis grinned.

 

"You acted like you knew me at your party!" He teased.

 

"I did," Niall mused. "Harry had told me all about you."

 

Louis paused for a moment. _What?_ Like, _what??_

"But I only met him the week before when Zayn brought him home..." Louis frowned.

 

Niall lifted his brows, sipping his drink like he'd already said too much.

 

"Told me you looked after him," he offered succinctly.

 

"Do you know what's funny?" Louis mused, glossing over this information slightly. "He knew my name...like Zayn must have told him at some point in the night and he remembered it," Louis shared.

 

Niall flicked him a look.

 

"I just remember him telling me about this _amazing_ guy called _Louis_...and then you were at my party and I was like great! I get to meet him," Niall added. "Felt like I already knew you by then."

 

"How much did Harry say about me?" Louis wondered then.

 

"N'much," Niall shrugged, lying. Louis knew he was lying because his cheeks became blotchy.

 

"I really thought he wasn't interested," Louis smirked.

 

"I've never seen him like this," Niall observed thoughtfully. "Like he has a knack of picking the wrong guys but you were different...genuine," Niall judged.

 

"You think it can last?" Louis asked, his fears placed right there in words that fell into the room big and nervous.

 

Niall grinned, lifting his glass.

 

"Oh, for sure. He's completely smitten wit'ya buddy," Niall assured.

 

"The feeling's mutual," Louis assured, toasting Niall's glass.

 

"I know, I can see it or I wouldn't have let you date him," Niall winked.

 

Louis chuckled, looking toward the door as a commotion stirred up.

 

Harry stalked in with his slightly girly hip-swinging walk, skin tight black, black jeans worn with his tan suede boots and a black string t-shirt; velour collar around his neck, leash tucked into his jeans pocket along with his hands. He had on a tail, the ears and had painted a black nose and whiskers. Louis wasn't sure he could remember how to breathe.

 

Harry's face went from lip-bitten frowning anxiety to relieved-as-fuck smile as he spotted him. He opened his arms as he was still walking.

 

"Lou, there you are!" he breathed; leaning in to hug him.

 

Louis could only catch him and cling on.

 

"Hey where my hug, tosser," Niall poked him and Harry gave him a hug and a kiss that Louis tried not to get too jealous over.

 

He felt infinitely less jealous when Harry dug the lead out of his pocket and handed it to Louis while kissing him senseless.

 

"Get a room," Niall complained loudly as they pulled away.

 

"Jesus holy Christ, Harry," Louis sucked in air.

 

"You like?" Harry cocked his hip with a lip-purse.

 

"Uh...yeah," Louis lifted a brow, pulling the lead in to bring him close.

 

"What is it boyfriend?" Harry murmured, low and husked.

 

Louis blinked, completely under his spell.

 

"I don't even know," he admitted softly, pressing a kiss to his mouth, slipping a hand onto his behind.

 

Harry grinned.

 

"Oh, feeling possessive?" He winked.

 

Louis made sure the handle of the lead was looped around his wrist before he put his hand back on Harry's perfect behind.

 

"You're the one that started it with this thing," he tugged on the pretty lead to make his point.

 

Louis wasn't sure if he preferred the leather Harry normally donned or this softer velour set. Harry looked pretty tonight, the ears sat in his beautiful curls; his make up making him look sexy and cute simultaneously. But the leather was more commanding somehow, tougher.

 

Louis had never felt more in love.

 

"You can own me," Harry shrugged in reply to Louis' accusation, looking around the room. "Where's Payno?"

 

"With Zayn on the decks," Louis explained. "Wants to learn the craft apparently..."

 

"Oh yeah?" Harry arched a brow. "Zayn's craft or just DJing?"

 

Louis smiled.

 

"Who knows?" He mused.

 

"So, have I told you how sexy you look?" Harry asked, stepping back a little to take in Louis' boots, loose-fit trousers, grey t-shirt and red braces (that he'd found in his wardrobe), "tool-belt" (including axe) and sooted face.

 

Louis' smile was slow and sure.

 

"Can't say you have, no," he mused coolly.

 

Harry leaned toward him, all hair and eyes and-

 

Jesus, those tight jeans were just something else. Never mind the cuteness of his make-up.

 

"Can I have a slide on your pole later?" Harry murmured into his ear.

 

Louis' hand automatically slid into Harry's lower back, pulling him near.

 

"Kitty wants rescuing, huh?" He murmured back.

 

Harry's eyes lit with something dark and carnal and it was all Louis could do not to throw him over his shoulder in a fireman's lift and find the nearest surface to ravage him on. He began to have serious concerns about their desire for each other, was it even normal to want to fuck your boyfriend silly in front of a hundred strangers? Louis considered most people weren't dating Harry Styles.

 

Harry didn't even whimper at Louis' words, he just let out a very cute, very kittenish 'meow' and flaunted away with a seductive grin leaving Louis staring.

 

Niall kindly closed his mouth for him.

 

"You're right, he seems fine," Niall commented then.

 

Louis gave him a look, brain completely blank for what to say.

 

"Let's find the karaoke," Niall suggested and pulled Louis away before he had a chance to protest.

 

//

 

Louis didn't mind doing karaoke with Niall because although the blonde lad still had a better voice than him he was partly drunk and sort of shouted and slurred his words which gave Louis a little leeway for his own husked tones.

 

It wasn't that he was bad, exactly, just that he was in the company of music-types and well, he couldn't exactly be expected to be as good, really.

 

So when Harry slunk into the room in search of him and wrapped his arms around Louis' waist, it took ten minutes of 'no' before Harry started kissing him into submission.

 

"C'mon, you're my _boyfriend_ , it's _romantic_ ," he begged.

 

Louis gave him a look as Harry playfully stretched his brace over his shoulder.

 

"Harry, you're like the best singer," he said again, sighing as his resolve was worn down. Harry in his arms dressed like a cat with a fucking collar on; how was he meant to resist that, exactly?

 

Harry nuzzled his neck, licked there followed by a bitey kiss.

 

"It'll be so hot," he breathed against Louis' ear.

 

Louis arched a brow at that.

 

"Yeah?"

 

"Wanna hear you sing," he admitted.

 

That swayed Louis enough to have them looking through songs. Niall made sure Zayn took a break from the DJ desk and Liam was still tagging along with him so when Louis looked at the crowd in the room, his friends were front-row and he smiled wanly at that.

 

They went for the cheesiest song they could find, something Louis at least had sung before. He would never tell anyone about his part in the school play as a T-Bird in their production of 'Grease' and he really hoped Zayn would never tell anyone how Louis was playing 'Sandy' for this rendition where Harry took the lead vocal as 'Danny'.

 

Louis felt innately ironic as he lifted the microphone to sing;

 _You better shape up 'Cause I need a man And my heart is set on you You better shape up You better understand To my heart I must be true Nothing left Nothing left for me to do_ He followed Harry's lead, caught his eyes and sang to _him_ rather than to the crowd, they even worked in some of the dance-moves, Louis pushing Harry gently back as he advanced only for Harry to instigate the four-square step move later on in the song which Louis joined in with, grinning so hard his face hurt.

 

If they weren't singing he could kiss Harry right now, not conscious about his voice anymore as they sang together, eyes bright and smiles keen. Louis chuckled breathlessly as they finished the song with a flourish and then Harry was in his arms, almost knocking him over.

 

"Fuck, you're so gorgeous," Harry mumbled in his ear and if Louis hoped to edge them away from the karaoke stage, he failed because the party-crowd were chanting 'encore' and Harry grinned, picking his mic back up. "You up for it?" He asked.

 

Louis shrugged as Harry selected a song. Of course he chose Def Leppard, of course he did. Of course they were singing a sexy rock song together, eyes meeting as they sang 'pour some sugar on me' and if Louis had any doubts about Harry being a rock-star they would have melted away right then.

 

It was something else, hearing Harry sing for fun; hearing their voices meld together. Louis grabbed his leash; grinned as Harry sank to his knees while Louis procured a water bottle and poured it all over Harry's face in lieu of the sugar they were singing about and actually-

 

Harry kneeling that way made Louis want to decorate his face some more.

 

When they got through the jostling crowd of new fans who were trying to keep them on-stage, Louis grasped Harry's hand and tugged him up the stairs, searching out a free room. It was relatively easy to find one; briefly wondered if they weren't meant to use the bedrooms at all and then forgot about it as he slipped the key in the lock and pulled Harry close for a kiss.

 

Harry kissed him back; hot and eager; sweaty from dancing and singing but Louis didn't care. Right now he wanted everything with Harry including a house, two dogs and four kids. He shoved his hands up under his top to splay them against Harry's torso, making him groan.

 

"God, you're beautiful," Louis sucked in a breath as their kiss broke; Harry pushing up Louis' t-shirt under the braces to kiss his belly. Louis' hands went to his hair, let his finger infiltrate that mess even with the ears attached to a headband which he was careful not to dislodge.

 

"We need to go home," Louis suggested breathlessly, leaning back on the door as Harry sank to his knees.

 

"Not yet?" He asked, eyes wide and big as he looked up.

 

Louis' breath caught in his throat.

 

"Alright, not yet," he conceded, watching Harry work his trousers undone and down his legs; kissing him with the softest lips.

 

Louis had to fight not to fuck his mouth as Harry's obscene lips covered him, taking Louis fully into his mouth; grabbing his hand to press Louis' fingers to his cheek where Louis could feel his length pressing and Louis wondered if Harry was a nymph or something. Some kind of wood-nymph sent to destroy him and tug out his sexual fantasies because so far, Harry seemed to doing a pretty good job of it.

 

Louis reached for the leash with his free hand, wrapped it around his hand until it was taut, tugged it so Harry choked him down.

 

"Oh, fuck," he groaned, pushing his back into the door desperately.

 

"Lou," Harry hooked his hands around his thighs, tugging him close. "You can fuck my mouth," he assured, giving Louis the ultimate permission.

 

Louis did, had barely any resistance by now, but he made sure to keep his hips slow and steady, his eyes open the entire time as he watched Harry's mouth take him; keeping as still as he could for Louis to enjoy this.

 

Louis cupped the back of his head, reached his other hand out to grasp something to anchor him and only found the lead keeping him grounded; connected to Harry in an inexplicable way. It was epic, really, the way he began to thrust deeper and Harry alternated between desperately trying to take all of him and making beautiful little noises of pleasure as though he were the one being blown.

 

Louis didn't get it, he really didn't but he was damn sure he was going to give Harry the best head of his life when they got home. If they got home. Right now he'd vote for fucking Harry into this stranger's bed.

 

"Oh god," Louis gasped as Harry's tongue worked around him; flicked over his tip. He rocked his hips as Harry's cheeks hollowed expertly. He felt like he was climbing the stairs to heaven and he had no semblance to turn back. He could literally die right now, his dick in Harry's mouth and his love in his heart.

 

Harry pulled off when Louis felt his peak reach and he looked down in startled confusion, only to find Harry with his eyes closed, mouth open waiting for Louis to come. How the hell Harry had guessed Louis had imagined this earlier, he didn't know. He didn't really care either as his control finally broke and his body spurted reams of thick liquid across Harry's cheeks; onto his lips, covering his cute nose and falling into his sexy eyelashes.

 

Harry's tongue slipped out to lick at his lips and Louis groaned, stroking himself through his orgasm to rinse every last drop of come from his body. Harry was ruined.

 

"I ruined your make-up," Louis gasped as he fought for breath.

 

Harry gently wiped away the come from his lashes, opening his eyes. He smiled sexily.

 

"Good," he assured sweetly.

 

Louis grasped his cheeks, tenderly wiped away the tears that had leaked from the corners of Harry's eyes just the way Harry had to him that time and when Harry was on his feet, Louis kissed there, too, licked his come right off his pretty face.

 

Harry giggled, pushing him away.

 

"Jesus, Lou, who's the cat?" He grinned.

 

Louis bit his lower lip.

 

"I want to take you home so you can fuck me," he admitted quietly.

 

Harry blinked, just once and then he grabbed Louis' hand and irrespective of their clothes being slightly tugged and their hair being absolutely wrecked he dragged Louis through the party to find a way home.

 

They tumbled into Louis' flat since it was closer and Zayn was still at the party, hands on each other's faces, devouring each other's mouths and soon they had semblance to undress, to find skin with their hands and mouths. They were loud in their expressions of desire; they didn't much care who could hear through Louis' thin walls as they staggered about trying to find a surface to rest on, one that was solid enough for both their weight.

 

They managed it as far as the dining room table where Louis pressed his front; hissing as Harry filled him with two lubed fingers, his touch a lot rougher than usual, his control on a knife-edge. Louis had maybe never seen him like this, never felt his hot body press quite so threateningly into his back, heard his heavy breaths and grunts as Louis pushed back with soft 'ah's' and sucks of air in lieu of sound.

 

"Fuck, I want you," Harry ground out, his tip pushing at Louis' rim even as his fingers filled him.

 

Louis wondered if he would...if he would sink in with all three. He looked over his shoulder, blinking slowly.

 

"Don't take your fingers out," he said.

 

Harry darted him a look, his eyes dark and his fighting to keep his concentration where it was needed.

 

"What?" He breathed; his hips stuttering and edging his tip inside where his fingers were still tucked.

 

"Just-please," Louis breathed, wanting to try this, even for the few seconds it took Harry to fill him and then he could ease his fingers out. Right now he wanted everything.

 

Harry made a noise Louis didn't recognise and cursed, slipping his fingers lower so he could tuck himself in above them. He managed a couple of inches before he paused, breath caught in his throat as the sight.

 

Louis was sprawled on the table, Harry's thighs on the outer-side of Louis' as Louis' feet turned in slightly; trying to create space for his body inside. Harry felt him try to widen his stance; try to push his thighs out but he was caging him in; his big body draped over the smaller one deliberately keeping things tight and intimate and--

 

Dirty, almost.

 

Harry kissed at his neck as he eased further in; seeing the way he stretched, feeling the way his muscles protested. Louis wanted him to go all the way in like this but he wasn't sure Harry would have the courage to do it. He was proved wrong when he gently sighed 'fuck me' and Harry hips jerked in surprised, embedding him completely in Louis' ass along with his fingers.

 

Louis cried out and Harry slipped his digits out then; cupping Louis' belly with them; the stickiness dragging along his skin.

 

"Yeah, oh god...so fucking amazing," Harry was thrusting into him, forehead pressed to his back as they bumped the table against the floor; Louis fucked into submission as he pushed his ass up and took everything Harry gave him.

 

And it was strong and hard and probably the least tender Harry had been with him since they'd met but Louis was open-mouthed with silent pleasure and had the shocked awe fucked right out of him as Harry's big body continued to fill him, deep and insistent, taking everything.

 

Louis thumped an ineffective fist against the table as Harry shuffled closer; changing angles to thrust up, deeper, harder than before but oh-so-amazing. Louis was sure he'd never been made love to like this; never enjoyed being manhandled quite this way, never enjoyed hard, biting sex with such uncontrolled pleasure.

 

He didn't even need to be touched to come. Harry's owning of him was enough to have him spurting all over the underside of the table and he cried out as Harry pushed a hand into his shoulders to flatten him on that surface as he pushed right in and stilled as he pumped his seed into Louis' ass. It was incredible really. Kind of uncomfortable and intense but-

 

Harry had just fucked him completely into the table and fuck if it wasn't the hottest show on earth.

 

He felt boneless as Harry peeled him up; wrapping strong arms around his body as he petted him, kissed to his temple, fingers in his hair.

 

"Lou, are you okay? Lou...?" He murmured; bending to pick Louis up and carrying him to the bedroom where he laid him down gently; finding wipes, cleaning them up enough to lay next to him and cuddle him once more, under the covers this time.

 

Louis blinked, arms wrapped haphazardly around Harry as he gazed into the distance.

 

"Jesus Christ," he finally breathed.

 

Harry made a noise and burrowed into his throat and Louis held him there; smiling happily at being his protector.

 

"Shh, kitten," Louis kissed his hair, rubbing his back.

 

Really, he was the one in epic awed silence over what just happened, but he didn't mind that Harry felt the same, it meant he wasn't in this weird place alone. He clutched Harry a little tighter, wondering if it was all _too_ weird for him.

 

"I fucking love you," Harry breathed into Louis' chest.

 

Well- that was nice. Louis smiled.

 

"Love you too, kitty," he assured.

 

"Did I-" Harry lifted his head up, swallowed hard. "Are you sore?"

 

Louis smirked. All over, truth be told.

 

"Yep."

 

Harry cupped his cheek.

 

"Sorry, m'so sorry, I didn't-"

 

"Shut up," Louis said softly, kissing him fondly. "I liked it."

 

Harry blinked.

 

"Yeah?"

 

Louis nodded.

 

And then Harry bit his lip and looked at him darkly, surprising Louis with his next words.

 

"Wanna fuck my thighs?"

 

Louis groaned; rolling with him on the bed.


	13. Chapter 13

****

So Louis didn't mind that Harry hadn't wanted to be penetrated; even though they had crossed that bridge last time. he knew it was a big deal, knew Harry's comfort was in being in charge somewhat and to even let Louis fuck between his gorgeous thighs was more than enough to keep Louis happy.

 

And Louis was happy.

 

He stretched on the bed in Harry's arms and he felt like the cat that had got the cream, never mind Harry's outfit from last night. They'd had a shower early this morning before Zayn got back so his whiskers had been washed away along with Louis' soot.

 

Harry stirred as Louis wriggled in his arms. He tightened his hold a little and Louis refastened his arms around Harry's shoulders, blinking at him with bright blue eyes as Harry woke slowly.

 

"What're you smiling at?" Harry sulked huskily, his voice deep with sleep and sex.

 

"You," Louis announced unashamedly.

 

That drew a slow smile from Harry's lips, one that finished in dimples. Louis had to run his fingertips into them, had to run his tongue into them. Harry tipped his face away bemusedly.

 

"Stop licking me," he complained lightly.

 

"Yeah?" Louis arched a brow.

 

Harry tightened his arms around Louis' waist.

 

"No," he admitted softly.

 

Louis kissed his forehead, his cheek.

 

"Hm, thought so."

 

Harry was quiet a moment, snuffled out a few breaths before he spoke again. Louis traced hearts over his naked shoulders with his fingertips.

 

"So, like...do you think we should talk about maybe sharing a place?" Harry finally spoke, his heart hammering.

 

He was so nervous bringing up this subject but it was something Niall had mentioned to him and he hadn't been able to stop thinking about it since. He wanted to be around Louis all the time, really. Have the ability to just spoon him in bed when Louis was asleep and he got in late. Be able to kiss him goodbye when Louis dashed out early for work while Harry laid in. Wanted to cook for him, to take care of him. Wanted to fuck Louis into the sofa the same way Louis had him. That would be a given if they _lived together_.

 

Louis leaned back, hands splaying on Harry's belly where his fingertips dragged down until his hands fit against his leaf tattoos.

 

"Uh...yeah?" Louis offered, surprised at Harry's choice of conversation topic; a topic Niall had only spoken to him about last night. Louis couldn't help but wonder if the blonde-haired lad had been giving him the head's up.

 

Harry bit at his lip.

 

"I mean, we can just talk about it," Harry said with a sigh. "I'm not pushing us into anything..."

 

Louis nuzzled their noses together, kissed his mouth.

 

"Let's talk about it," he affirmed.

 

They had to get up for this chat, apparently. Louis made them tea and toast and they curled on the sofa together; ignoring Zayn who quietly made his way about the flat as they cuddled together, shoulder to shoulder, ankles overlapping as they drew their knees up towards their bodies and sipped on tea.

 

"So, what do you think?" Harry asked nervously.

 

Louis flicked him a look, ran a hand into his hair because he couldn't resist the curly softness.

 

"I think I'd like to live with you," he offered gently, a blush topping his cheeks.

 

Harry darted him a surprised look, broke out in maybe the best smile Louis had seen on his lips. He had to kiss him, had to run his fingers deeper into his hair; onto his neck.

 

"I mean, I want to...I keep meaning to ask if you'd just-I don't know, like maybe come and stay at mine for a bit...like a trial or something?" Harry suggested.

 

"Is this you asking?" Louis checked.

 

Harry let out a breath.

 

"But what about Zayn?" he mused. "You can't leave him hanging while we work it out..."

 

Louis shook his head. "No, I really can't," he agreed, then smiled fondly at Harry so that crinkles appeared at the corners of his eyes. "So I guess that'd be it, really," he posed. "I'd just be moving in with you..."

 

Harry flicked him a furtive look.

 

"You-you'd do that?" Harry hedged.

 

Louis turned down his lips.

 

"Depends, really," he mused.

 

Harry frowned, licking his lips. He cupped Louis' knee and Louis' hand was still wrapped around the back of his neck. It felt comfortable and amazing.

 

"Depends on what?" Harry ventured.

 

"On if I'm being asked," Louis said and Harry darted him a look, sucking in a breath.

 

"You mean...you would?" Harry's brows rose and his lips parted.

 

Louis shrugged. "Zayn can bunk in with Perrie and well-I'd get to see you. All the time," he added with a self-satisfied smile.

 

If Harry weren't even half this nervous about asking him, Louis might not have even considered it but it was brilliant the way Harry was curled up, half-excited, half-scared. He ;earned over and kissed his cheek, just because he could.

 

"So, consider this me asking," Harry said then.

 

Louis smiled into his face, turning into a grin.

 

"Consider this me saying yes," he replied.

 

Harry reached across and hugged him hard. Zayn drifted by, styling his hair into peaks as he went.

 

"Are you two being mushy again?" He teased.

 

Louis slipped an arm around Harry's shoulders as Harry picked up his tea to sip at.

 

"Me and Haz are moving in together," Louis shared openly.

 

Zayn looked over from the fridge as Louis looked over the back of the sofa.

 

"You leaving me, bro?" He pouted.

 

Louis nodded.

 

"Of course, I'll probably be knocking Perrie's door down in a couple of months when Harry's had enough of me..." he joked.

 

Harry ducked into his neck, making a noise of dissent.

 

"Never enough," Harry mumbled against his skin.

 

Louis felt a stirring in his lap and subtly tossed a cushion there to cover his reaction. Harry noticed and smiled devilishly at him. Louis ignored him and swallowed hard to keep his focus in the room.

 

"Oh you're welcome anytime," Zayn assured. "Perrie's always talking about my fit flat-mate I swear she'd drop me for you in an instant if you were straight..."

 

Louis choked on that news, Harry frowned crossly over the sofa.

 

"Heyy!" he protested, dragging the throw off the back of the sofa while Zayn wasn't looking only to spread it over him and Louis, cupping over Louis' now-evident bulge with a large hand.

 

Louis swallowed a hiss, hips pushing up into Harry's touch as he closed his eyes briefly, tightly to reprimand himself.

 

"Someone's keen," Harry murmured into his ear; dragging his lips down Louis' neck while Zayn made his drink.

 

"Haz, in all fairness, she'd probably have you too, mate," Zayn offered. "If you ever want a threesome, just call me, yeah?"

 

Harry gave Louis a bemused look, Louis made a gesture of smoking weed, trying to intimate that Zayn had probably taken something, it wasn't unusual and he often came out with the most inappropriate things when he did.

 

"I'm not sharing him, Zayn," Louis called, tugging Harry closer under his arm where Harry happily snuggled.

 

He hadn't forgotten about the situation in Louis' lap, was just sneaking his fingers under the band of Louis' sleep-shorts when Zayn sat down in the armchair. Harry had no choice but to shove his hand right in; grasping Louis' dick wholly but not moving. He felt a blush spread across his cheeks as Louis made a breathless choked sound beside him.

 

"You off to work soon?" Louis asked his friend, a little high-pitched and breathy but Zayn didn't seem to noticed.

 

"Hm? Oh, yeah, in a bit," Zayn nodded, blowing on his drink.

 

Louis couldn't help the way his eyes were drawn to Zayn's lips and the shape they were making. Harry stroked him once, twice, thumb slipping over his tip.

 

Louis moved quickly, deliberately. He grabbed Harry's wrist, yanked his hand out of his pants and then stood up; still with a forceful grip on his wrist as he dragged him toward his room.

 

"Hey, keep it down!" Zayn yelled after them and Louis had no such intention.

 

He made Harry come shouting as he sucked obscene love-bites into his belly; right over his tattoos and Harry's fingers were in his hair as he came hard over his own belly; Louis having sucked him until his mouth became distracted by pale soft skin he wanted to bite into.

 

Harry fucked him after that, slow, slow and tender, the complete opposite to last night. Louis maybe thought that was deliberate, to prove he could, to show that their love was special and not just owning. Louis curled up on his side as Harry spooned him; curling Louis in his arms as he barely shifted his hips to fill him; bringing them both to a slow-climbing peak that still wiped them both out completely.

 

 

They stayed like that for a long time after Zayn crashed out of the flat, breathy sighs filling the room; Louis' hands softly trailing through Harry's hair and down his naked body. Harry had turned over to stroke Louis' too, pouting at being left out of the post-sex touching. Louis gladly let Harry join that party.

 

"So," Louis licked his lips, flicking his eyes to Harry's instantly worried green ones.

 

"So?"

 

"I kinda love you if that's okay?" Louis shared, sweetly.

 

Harry immediately smiled, goofy and melting.

 

"Yeah, that's okay," he agreed.

 

"Good," Louis mock-sighed in relief.

 

"And if I kinda love you too?" Harry broached.

 

"That's okay too," Louis decided.

 

Harry smiled.

 

"Good," he echoed.

 

Then,

 

"When are you moving in?"

 

Louis kissed him.

 

"Yesterday?"

 

Harry's smile turned into a grin which remained against Louis' lips as he kissed him. Yesterday wasn't soon enough.

 

//

 

Actually moving in was chaos. Louis had the help of their three friends and Harry insisted on doing the heavy lifting (Louis was sure it was so his biceps were cleverly exposed in the vest he wore while an American scarf flag was wrapped into his hair enticingly).

 

When the dust settled and Louis began actually unpacking his things, it felt a bit weird to be invading someone else's space. He timidly filled his half of the wardrobe that Harry had cleared out, went through the draw-unit to find the empty ones.

 

And if Louis hadn't thought about them sharing a room before-well, he did now. And that age-old fear crept up on his again. The one that had made his past relationships fail. He wasn't enough. Nobody wanted to live with him because he couldn't live up to their expectations.

 

It took an hour of sitting on the edge of the bed with his face in his hands before Harry stuck his head around the door.

 

"Hey, how's it going?" He asked, quickly heading into the room to slip an arm around his shoulders on seeing him. "Lou?"

 

Louis laughed into his hands but it was dry and unhumoured.

 

Harry hugged him a little closer, not sure what to say. He hadn't come in sooner because he got the sense this was a Big Thing for Louis and he didn't want to make it any more difficult than it already was. He knew Louis needed time to adjust, more than himself because he loved company and the thought of having Louis' constant company overrode most of his nerves about this move.

 

And it's not like Harry thought Louis didn't feel the same but-

 

Well Louis was Louis. He'd taken ages to even think about Harry _in that way_ and when he finally had it was still hard work. Harry didn't mind that though, he liked that he'd had to earn Louis' love. It made him feel more secure knowing he'd worked for it, somehow. Like Louis didn't just dish his affection out to just anybody, he was choosy in who got it and Harry was one of those lucky few. The only one, really who got all of him-got his heart.

 

Only Louis was freaking out and he didn't know what to do.

 

"Louis, it's not too late," Harry coached softly. "You can change your mind. If you think you've made a gigantic mistake and you don't want to live here, you don't have to..."

 

Harry's heart broke as he watched Louis wipe away tears on the back of his hand.

 

"It's you," he croaked and Harry froze, his heart tripping in his chest.

 

_It's not me it's you?_

 

"You're the one who's made the mistake," Louis pushed on and Harry breathed out in relief.

 

"Me?" Harry mused, making a comical face if Louis was looking. He was still wiping away tears that Harry ached to kiss off his face.

 

"I-I'm a shit boyfriend, Haz," Louis said then, like he was admitting to being a murderer. "Ask any of my exes, they'll tell you. They couldn't live with me, I was never enough..."

 

Harry curled and wrapped as much of his body around Louis' that he could manage while they perched on the edge of a bed.

 

"I've already told you, you're just right for me..." Harry reminded softly.

 

Louis shook his head, hands shaking as he continued to dash away tears.

 

"Not for long," he sighed, heaving in a lungful of air to replace that breath and it shuddered out.

 

"Lou...oh god, _Louis_ ," Harry rolled them backward and pulled Louis into his body where Louis resumed crying against his chest, Harry's arms tight and secure around him.

 

Louis sniffled as Harry stroked a large hand down the back of his head.

 

"What if-what if you get fed up of me?" He whispered.

 

Harry smirked, let out a breath of amused air.

 

"Fuck, Louis, what if you get fed up of me?" He asked back.

 

"That's impossible," Louis countered.

 

"Exactly," Harry kissed his hair. "Impossible. Because I love you..."

 

"I-I don't know how to be enough for you," Louis beseeched.

 

Harry closed his eyes, bit into his lip and held him tighter.

 

"You already are," he assured breathily.

 

Louis cuddled into him, finally slipping his arms around Harry's waist and Harry let out a relieved breath of air.

 

"What if I'm not?" Louis asked, whispering the words now.

 

Harry had to bend his head down to hear him.

 

"Then I'll take you anyway," Harry decided. "No other bastard is getting his hands on my Lou..." he added emphatically.

 

Louis burrowed into his neck. Harry considered he'd chosen the right words.

 

"I'm so happy that you're here," Harry breathed. "But if it's too much, we can re-think this," he offered.

 

"I'm happy too," Louis husked, throat clogged with emotion.

 

Harry couldn't resist teasing him.

 

"Yeah? What do you look like when you're miserable?" He wondered.

 

Louis snorted into his chest, fisting a hand into his t-shirt,. Harry didn't even care that he stretched it all out of shape.

 

"I love you," Louis said, kissing his jaw.

 

Harry squeezed him.

 

"Love you too, Happy," he kissed Louis' temple.

 

Louis flicked his eyes around the part of the room he could see from being laid on Harry's chest.

 

"I wasn't sure where to put my football trophies?" Louis ventured then.

 

Harry felt his chest fill with warm delight.

 

"I have a display cabinet in the living room, I'll clear a space," he promised.

 

Louis kissed him for that. And for being perfect, maybe.

 

//

 

Harry gets to wake up with Louis every day.

 

He gets to make him tea and breakfast (if Louis doesn't sprint to the kitchen first and stubbornly burn scrambled eggs to the bottom of the pan in misguided romantic gesture), gets to come home to him working on his teacher-stuff, gets to spoon him in bed (since Louis is smaller it makes sense that Harry naturally gets to monopolise that pleasure).

 

Harry is; as all his friends say, a happy bunny.

 

Niall constantly berates him for his giddy smile and loved-up glow and Zayn and Liam have even got in on the teasing when they meet up, Louis just watching proudly while Harry becomes more and more flushed with being teased.

 

He steps in of course. Grabs Harry's hand and tells them all to 'fuck off teasing his boyfriend' and it usually calms down after that. In all fairness, Louis isn't much better. He keeps drifting off at inopportune moments, remembering the way Harry's longs legs tangle with his now they share a bed, the way he smells faintly of smoke whenever he comes home from a gig because he's probably been outside with the smokers, chatting and he quite frequently pictures their love-making while trying insistently to keep his mind on work. It's a hard task keeping Harry from his mind.

 

Kristin has called him on it a couple of times in his classes but luckily his colleagues have so far failed to notice his mostly dream-like state. He gets shit off Zayn when they're alone but the others don't rib him the way they do Harry.

 

Harry doesn't mind. He's happy.

 

He's got frequent gigs now and more offers for his vocals, his work with Joseph has been promoted by Liam and he's making groundwork on his dream. Louis loves being the guy who gets to push him along with that, who gets to tell him to 'go for it'.

 

It's one night that they're curled up on the sofa together and Harry's mobile rings and he flicks Louis a look before answering, mouthing 'my mum'.

 

"Heyy," he hums with an exceptionally warm voice as he greets his mother.

 

Louis' been living here for two months and hasn't seen Harry talking to his parents before. His own parents are quite distanced, prefer to let Louis live his own life in London and call a couple of times a year to make sure he's still alive. Louis doesn't mind that he goes home for Christmas; sometimes with Zayn in tow and spends two weeks of the year living in his old room.

 

"Yeah I'm good," Harry appears to be answering a question as he lifts his knees to his chest and Louis sits up; shifts over to give him some room.

 

Harry stops chewing his thumb and links his fingers through Louis'.

 

"No, I live with somebody now," Harry's saying. "Yeah, a guy...yes, my boyfriend, god, mum," he complains lightly and rolls his eyes.

 

Louis throws him a smirk, his eyes bright with fond.

 

"A couple of months...I did tell you. I did...s'not my fault you forget everything," he's saying.

 

Louis gets up to make tea, drifts about the kitchen as Harry asks about home, gasps about the village gossip and bemoans the changes to village life.

 

"No, not yet," he hums as Louis places a cup in front of him.

 

Harry puts his feet down to reach and Louis sneakily rolls onto his back; laying his head in Harry's lap. He grins as Harry blinks down at him with a squint. Harry grins back, it's breath-taking. Louis can't breathe for a while after.

 

"I'm still gigging," he adds and Louis realises Harry is talking about his music. "I wrote to four more companies, I'm waiting to hear back..."

 

Louis fists his hand in Harry's top as a sign of support and Harry sips at his too-hot tea, hissing as it burns the tip of his tongue.

 

"What do you mean? Of course Lou's here, where else would he be?"

 

Louis gives him a lop-sided smile and crosses his eyes.

 

"Oh," Harry says and his tone alters. "Um...I'm not sure, let me ask him..."

 

Louis frowns a little at Harry's words, reached up to right his fringe that he messed earlier when they were kissing.

 

"Will you talk to my mum?" He asks as he covers the mouth-piece of his mobile.

 

Louis tilts his head. Should he sit up for this?

 

"Sure," Louis agrees quickly but when he goes to move, Harry's hand plants in the middle of his chest to keep him there.

 

"Yeah he'll say hi," Harry tells his mum, then furtively looks about the room as he mumbles, "Don't scare him off...no kid stories..."

 

Louis takes the handset.

 

"Mrs. Styles?" He greets, winningly.

 

"Louis, is it?" Anne checks.

 

Louis smiles.

 

"That's me," he assures. "I hope Harry's told you only good things...?"

 

Anne laughs, as hoped.

 

"Lots of good things, actually. He didn't mention the co-habitating."

 

"Boys, eh?" He offers and she laughs again.

 

"Are you-That is, is Harry alright?" She ventures and there's a nervousness in her voice, like she isn't sure if Louis knows or not.

 

"He's brilliant," Louis replies confidently. "He's always pretty brilliant actually..."

 

"Good," he can hear her relieved breath out. "I'm glad he has some company."

 

"Did you know he can cook?" Louis asks because he's sure Harry's mum does know this but. He wants to boast. "He's making me amazing breakfasts, I'm sure I've put on a stone since I moved in..."

 

"He always loved cooking," she recalls fondly.

 

"I'm not sure what I contribute to the house," Louis adds amusedly.

 

"Hugs!" Harry shouts loud enough for his mum to hear and its Louis who's chuckling now.

 

"Yeah, I'm good for those," he muses.

 

"He needs those," Anne says softly, surprising him.

 

Louis looks at his boyfriend. He's agitated, fidgeting and a little flushed. He couldn't love him more right now.

 

"He gets them," Louis murmured back and Harry's frowning, trying to pry the handset away from Louis' little hand.

 

Louis speaks again before Anne does.

 

"So when do I get to meet you?" He asks, bold and confident.

 

Harry literally gapes at him.

 

"Louis!" he hisses.

 

Louis quirks his brows. _Deal with it_ , he thinks. Its about time they met each other's parents.

 

"Oh that would be lovely," Anne fawns and Louis thinks he's in love already.

 

"I'll let you plan it with Haz," Louis suggests, not even aware he's shortened his name fondly.

 

"Goodbye, Louis," Anne signs off and Louis gives the phone back to Harry with a smug smile.

 

"Mum," he says and sucks in air. "Yes, I know...yeah, he is...I know....I know, alright? I won't..."

 

Louis bites his lip at guessing what Anne is saying. He waits for Harry to end the call.

 

"I simply have to keep you," Harry relays.

 

Louis flicks him a bright-eyed look, his lashes long as he looks up under them.

 

"Okay," he shrugs, in agreement to this plan.

 

"You're amazing apparently." Harry adds, slipping his phone back onto the side-table.

 

Louis leans up, uses Harry's t-shirt as leverage and to pull him down. He kisses him square on the mouth.

 

"You're pretty amazing, too," he assures.

 

Harry softens a little, smiles to himself.

 

"She wants us to go up and visit," Harry adds.

 

"Sure, tell me when," Louis agrees quickly.

 

"Are you sure?" Harry sinks his fingers into Louis' hair. "If you feel un comfortable at all then-"

 

"I don't." Louis states.

 

Harry nods.

 

"Alright, well, I think she said about next weekend if we were free..."

 

Louis nods, noticing Harry's change in posture, the way his voice has gone all quiet.

 

"What's wrong?" He wonders.

 

Harry swallows, stares at the TV instead of looking at Louis.

 

"No...nothing," he says but its obvious he doesn't mean it.

 

"You don't want me to go?" Louis wonders for one fearful moment.

 

Harry actually spits out in surprise.

 

"Jesus, Lou!" he exclaims. "You're like, the perfect guy to take home to mum and dad," he assures.

 

Louis wriggles.

 

"I'm not perfect," he counters awkwardly.

 

"I-it's just..." Harry pauses.

 

"It's just?" Louis pushes.

 

"When I meet your mum." He says, then hitches a breath. "I'm not a perfect guy to take home, am I? What will you tell them, that I'm a failing musician?"

 

Louis wants to sit up, wants to hug him but he knows that Harry doesn't like Louis making a fuss over silly things. He drags in a breath to control his urge to hold the curly-haired guy in his arms and never let go.

 

"I've told them that you're an amazing singer and song-writer," he admits.

 

"They didn't ask?" Harry arches a brow knowingly.

 

Louis conceded with a smile. His parents had asked of course, how Harry made a living, what his success rate was with the music. But his parents weren't people to be snobby about these things. The were just curious, wondered if Louis was being taken for a ride or not.

 

"Yeah, they did. And I told them that I love you no matter what," he explained.

 

Harry brushed a thumb over Louis' cheek for that.

 

"And that was good enough for them?" He wondered.

 

Louis nodded, grin wide and goofy.

 

"They found it incredibly hard to imagine me being a sugar-boyfriend should the need be required and I assured them that Harry Styles would be a household name and I'd be the kept man when that came around..."

 

Harry chuckled at Louis' prediction, reaching down to kiss his forehead.

 

"Really, you think I could be a household name?" He asked, delighted.

 

Louis nodded.

 

"And you'll have groupies and I'll be the old boyfriend," he sighed resignedly.

 

Harry pulled Louis up by folding his arms around his torso and Louis had to rearrange himself to straddle his lap; kissing him for long tender moments while their words sank in.

 

"You're not old and I don't care about groupies," Harry stated resolutely.

 

"You might have some really fit ones th-"

 

Louis' doubts are cut off with Harry's lips. He thinks he can maybe deal with that.


	14. Chapter 14

It's the following week that Harry gets another rejection letter.

 

Louis was pretty sure that the four companies he's approached this time would at least be open to a showcase but when Harry sends him a text saying,

 

**Ten. I might give up this singing lark :(**

 

He packs up at work and doesn't even think twice about leaving. He doesn't want to be the neurotic, controlling boyfriend but Harry is home alone and Louis knows how hurt he gets and they are seeing his mum this weekend so he wants Anne to know that Louis is a good guy for Harry. That he's a good guy full stop. And a good guy would go home to comfort his boyfriend, he's sure.

 

The house is quiet as he lets himself in and he takes a deep breath, not sure what to expect.

 

"Haz?" He calls out experimentally, dropping his bag and coat in the chair. "Babe, where are you?"

 

It's very faint, but Louis hears it.

 

"Up here."

 

And he knows from the echo that Harry's in the bathroom. He tries not to panic, remembered Niall's words about Harry's cutting and about being casual about it. He doesn't feel very casual as he hops up the stairs two at a time.

 

He makes sure to knock first.

 

"Haz? Can I come in?"

 

Harry doesn't answer for a while.

 

"Um. You might not want to," he says and Louis' heart breaks, literally breaks into a thousand pieces.

 

"I want to," he says, his voice breathy with trying to bloody _breathe_. It's the hardest thing keeping oxygen flowing in and out of his lungs right now.

 

"I-uh...I guess, then. Okay..."

 

Louis twists the door knob, releases the catch and ventures in. Harry's on the floor by the bath, a blade in his hand posed by his arm which bears three red lines, all of which have been bleeding. The blood looks dry. Harry looks confused and frightened.

 

He had on a thin black knit jumper that he's tugged up the arms of and he's shivering. Louis grabs the monstrous fluffy dressing gown off the back of the door- the one he teased Harry about mercilessly when he moved in and Harry defended with a sulky pout saying it made him feel safe and warm.

 

Louis wrapped it around his shoulders as he knelt down by him; reaching for his arm. Harry looked up, eyes vacant and lazy, as if asking Louis what he's doing here. Louis is pleased to see Harry's stopped cutting before he's really started. He gets up and gets a swab, trickles dome anti-septic on it and carefully cleans the cuts on Harry's arm.

 

The fact that Harry pushes the razor blade toward him makes Louis swallow shakily and meet his gaze.

 

"Thank you," Louis says genuinely, wrapping it up and throwing it away.

 

"I-I didn't mean to," Harry whispers.

 

Louis finds gauze and covers his cuts before helping him into the monstrosity of a bath-gown. Harry shivers again so Louis scoots down next to him, tugs him close, kisses his hair.

 

"It's okay, curly-boy," he soothes. "I'm here now..."

 

Harry doesn't lean into him, is still tense and strangely elsewhere. Louis wonders if he's been drinking but can't smell alcohol on his breath as he breathes out and it fans over his face.

 

"You didn't have to leave work," Harry frowns, his voice husky and thin.

 

Louis isn't quite sure the best way to respond since Harry's not really himself right now. At least not a version of himself that Louis has learned to respond to. He wishes Niall was there to give him pointers.

 

"I was bored shitless," Louis lied. "You were just a good excuse to escape..."

 

Harry manages a brief, tiny smile.

 

"M'good for something then."

 

"You're good for me," Louis kisses his hair again, hugs him tighter as he shivers again.

 

"You're good for me too," Harry replies and Louis thinks his voice sounds a bit stronger that time.

 

"Hey, why don't you curl up in bed and I'll bring us some tea up?" Louis suggests.

 

Harry moves away from him but can't seem to fathom how to use his limbs. Louis helps him up; would like to carry him the bedroom but Harry seems determined to regain control over his arms and legs and wraps the fluffy robe around him as he shuffles through to the other room.

 

Louis takes his time making tea, remembering Niall's words, giving Harry time to come round; showing him he trusts him alone. He tucks a packet of cookies under his armpit as he climbs the stairs with two mugs.

 

Harry's watching 'Golden Girls' as he comes back into the bedroom and Louis quickly rids his jeans to join him on the bed. He reaches to the end of the bed where Harry's old clothes are strewn and drags a discarded jumper up the bed to pull on. It's huge on his and smells of Harry. He sips his tea and shares the biscuits.

 

"Are you cold?" Louis asks as Harry's hands evidence a tremor as he drinks.

 

Harry rubs his cheek into the soft collar of the robe.

 

"No, I like this," he says.

 

Louis likes it too. Likes seeing Harry wrapped up in the obnoxious animal-print gown that his boyfriend insists on wearing. He doesn't like Harry being vulnerable, though. He doesn't like that at all.

 

Louis settles back into his pillows.

 

"So, what are we watching?" He wonders.

 

Harry explains to him what's going on with the episode, finished off half a pack of biscuits and two cups of tea (Louis has to go and make a second cup for them both). It's dark outside when Harry wriggles on the bed; toward where Louis has his arms folded behind his head and the duvet pulled up to his chest.

 

"Can I cuddle?" Harry asked, words mumbled with tiredness.

 

Louis opens his arms. Harry curls up beside him; ducking under Louis' arm which rests around his shoulders, fingers stroking the furry material.

 

"You hate this gown don't you?" Harry accuses then.

 

Louis smirks.

 

"Nope."

 

"You do," he counters. "It's a girl's robe." He adds.

 

"Guessed as much," Louis muses.

 

Harry nuzzles into the gown; into Louis. Louis turns slightly and wraps Harry up in his arms, kissing his temple. He figures Harry feels ready for being held.

 

"I'm-I'm a bit blank right now," Harry says and Louis _knows_.

 

Knows because he's spent the last two hours hoping that Harry would want to be held. Now that he does, he's too grateful to say anything negative. But the fact Harry is talking about his state means Louis has to think on his feet for a response, something appropriate.

 

"It's okay," he settles on, kissing him again.

 

"I stopped," he says then and Louis can feel his frown against his t-shirted chest, Harry's forehead wrinkles as it presses to his pec.

 

"I know," Louis rubs his back a little.

 

"I stopped because of you...because I was thinking about you," he gushes.

 

Louis' heart aches so badly he wonders if its possible to have a heart attack from being so in love with somebody that they make your heart hurt.

 

"Well...that's pretty high accolade," Louis breathes.

 

Harry wriggles in his arms, settles again as if uncomfortable with revealing this information. Louis wonders if Harry has ever been this honest before. He likes that Harry's not scared to tell him anything.

 

"I love you, Lou. I mean like, really love you," he sighs.

 

"I love you too," Louis kisses his temple again.

 

"But I mean _really_ love you," Harry stresses, voice hoarse with emotion. "Like I want this always, waking up with you and making love with you and cooking for you..."

 

Louis smiled softly. "I'm sure we can arrange that..."

 

Harry's breath hitches.

 

"Lou, I want to marry you," he admits and it's not the first time he's said it, but it's the first time Louis' heard.

 

Louis tightens his arms.

 

"The feeling is pretty mutual on that, heart-breaker," Louis offers quietly, swallowing hard.

 

Harry bites into his lower lip.

 

"Yeah?"

 

Louis nods, kissing him again. He figures he can't give Harry enough kisses, really.

 

"Yeah."

 

"But can I ask?" Harry rushes out, fidgeting a little as he pulls away to look at Louis for maybe the first time since he's come home.

 

Louis revels in the connection with those beautiful green orbs.

 

"Like, I really want to," Harry is still tripping over his words. "And I said it first so it should be me, right? You won't ruin it and ask me first, will you?"

 

Louis honestly feels like crying. He sucks in a very big breath before he speaks next.

 

"Will you marry me?" He asks, just for the hell of it.

 

Harry's face creases into an annoyed frown and he actually thumps the duvet in frustration.

 

"No! You're just taking the piss," Harry accuses. "Don't ask me again because I'll keep saying no."

 

"Then how are we going to get married?" Louis wonders lightly, delighted at Harry's return to bantering.

 

"Because when I'm ready I'll ask," Harry stipulates.

 

"I'll be so over it by then," Louis muses.

 

"Really," Harry noses at his jaw. "You'll be over me?"

 

He sounds so soft and hurt, Louis has to kiss him. It takes him quite a while to fulfil that need.

 

"I don't think I'll ever get over you," he admits, rubbing his jaw into Harry's hair as he settles back in his arms.

 

Harry sighs.

 

"Good job I'm proposing then," he murmurs.

 

Louis smirks.

 

"Good job you are," he agrees; kissing him one last time before they both fall asleep.

 

//

 

 

Louis is playing ice-hockey. It took Harry several attempts to wear him down enough to go so when he does finally give in-after three blow-jobs and a rim- Harry decides that Niall and Zayn simply have to come with him to watch Louis play his amateur game, too.

 

It's late when Louis plays because the recreational team have to take the ice when nobody else wants it so its midnight when the three of them huddle together on the benches, sneaking sips from mini-bottles of vodka that Niall has filled his pockets with.

 

Zayn's beard is long and scraggly like his hair, his eyes are blinking slowly with half-sleep and Harry's stuck between him and the mildly-hyper Niall who's bouncing in his seat for getting to watch real-live-ice-hockey. If he says that one more time, Harry might belt him.

 

He snuggles into his knit jumper; wrapping the sleeves around his hands and tilting his beanie-head sideways to rest his cheek on his shoulder.

 

"It's cold in here," he murmurs.

 

Niall snorts.

 

"It's a bloody ice-rink, Haz, what did you expect?"

 

Harry purses his lips.

 

"To be kept warm?" He admits soulfully.

 

Niall wraps both his arms around him even though the fit is tight.

 

"Ah, you soft bugger, Lou's being macho right now so you got me and Zayno, that do ya?"

 

Zayn scoffs and leans into Harry's arm, his contribution to body warmth.

 

"Get off, he's coming," Harry tries to dislodge Niall as Louis takes the ice after warm-up; hovering low back on the grid to the right of the goalie.

 

He waved to Harry three times in warm-up and each time Harry's dimples grooved deeper into his face. He'd smiled so much his dimple was now a permanent fixture even when he merely pressed his lips together.

 

He watches with avid fascination as Louis glides about the ice, sometimes getting rough and ready when he needs to dig the puck out from under his opponents feet; or when he body-checks them into the plexi.

 

Honestly, Harry didn't know Louis had such a tendency to be butch, it's quite a surprise. And Louis doesn't seem to mind the fact Niall is now wrapped around him; holding him prisoner because he blows Harry a kiss as one of the team gets a penalty and they have to wait around for the punishment to be decided.

 

Harry guesses that's more to do with the fact Louis doesn't like to leave him alone since The Incident. The first time it had happened and they were in a fight, Louis had seamlessly forgotten about the whole thing and tended Harry caringly afterwards but this time, things are different.

 

Maybe Louis thought Harry wouldn't cut again, maybe its because he'd been the one to find him that way whereas before it had been Niall, but whatever it is, Harry's noticed he's been clingier since.

 

And he doesn't mind much-not at all really, it's just-

 

He _can_ be left alone. He doesn't need babysitters.

 

Zayn must notice his long sigh out.

 

"What's up bro?" He asks, leaning into his arm again.

 

Harry shoots him a wan smile.

 

"Nothing," he murmurs, his heart not in it.

 

"Come on," he encourages around mouthfuls of skittles he's chomping on. "Out with it..."

 

"Yeah, we're your bro's," Niall adds, still banding his arms all the way around Harry so he can't move.

 

His eyes watch Louis moving about on the ice but his mind is elsewhere.

 

"Louis' been different since I cut myself," he blurts, soft and reverent.

 

Zayn looks surprised, let's out an 'oh!' that evidences that fact.

 

Niall snorts into Harry's arm, biting at his bicep.

 

"Hey, only Lou gets to bite," Harry leans away but doesn't even bother trying to break Niall's embrace.

 

Once Niall leeched on him like this for a whole party. He didn't get to dance all night.

 

Zayn's the only one good for anything intelligent to say which is saying something in itself considering the amount of pills he's usually swallowed by now.

 

"I kinda get it," Zayn says carefully.

 

Harry peers at him, focus taken from the ice.

 

"You do?"

 

Zayn nods.

 

"I mean, I've lived with Louis a while now and he even worries about me and I'm like, a complete dick so..."

 

Harry swallows.

 

"He's worried," he says and its almost like Harry hadn't even thought of that.

 

"Yeah, right little worrier is our Lou," Zayn nods.

 

"It's like he doesn't trust me, though," Harry frowns. "He follows me about and has started growing a beard just not to have razors at home."

 

"I told him to shave that three weeks ago," Zayn smirks.

 

Harry blushes just slightly.

 

"I kinda like it..."

 

Niall makes a puking sound but still has his cheek pressed into Harry's arm so he ignores him.

 

"He'll come round," Zayn offers finally which- well it is comfort but the not knowing when part is still an issue.

 

"Have you talked to him, Haz?" Niall asks, suddenly gaining a brain.

 

Harry manages to yank out an arm to slip around Niall's shoulders so he sinks even further into Harry's body.

 

"No...I don't really know what to say about it," he admits.

 

"Maybe you need to try," Niall suggests, looking up at him. "I mean, he's seen you do it so it's not like you have to be scared he's gonna run off or summat..."

 

Harry presses his lips together, looks up to catch Louis gazing at him from the ice, eyes blue and intense, caged with fierce lashes. It's like five whole seconds while they share silent eye-contact but in those seconds, an opposition player approaches the goal and slips one in while the defence are otherwise side-tracked.

 

Harry gasps and o's his mouth as the goal buzzer sounds.

 

"No!" He roars, standing up to knock Niall sideways.

 

Niall pouts and brushes himself down as Harry mouths 'sorry' to Louis. Louis merely winks and smiles back before getting back into position. Harry sits down. He'll talk to Louis tonight, definitely. Probably. Well, maybe. As long as Louis isn't too pooped after his game.

 

//

 

Louis isn't pooped, he's pumped full of adrenaline and he takes full advantage of his machismo to bend Harry over the lockers in the changing room and fuck him while wearing his jersey.

 

Zayn has managed to procure an old worn jersey of Louis' from somewhere that Harry was clinging to and wants to wear home but first Louis needs to make him come; all over the locker if possible.

 

Louis wonders briefly where the hell Zayn got it and who he seduced to get the thing and then he remembers he's Zayn and well, he can get hold of anything with as little as a bat of his eyelashes.

 

Harry's near, his groans tell Louis as much as he sinks in, over and over; grasping at his hips. He doesn't get to top Harry half as much as he'd like but that's the arrangement and he'll live with it. Especially if Harry's gasped little moans and husky cries can be bottled and kept forever. He plans to make a soundtrack and put it on his phone.

 

"Lou...oh, god...yes, Lou," Harry is incoherent; desperate for touch.

 

Louis gives it to him, tugs him off in two-three strokes and his own control slips as Harry sinks into the metal of the locker-wall, completely done-for. Louis is pretty done-for too. He kisses the back of Harry's neck, folds his arms under his ribs so he doesn't get too bruised pushed into the metal doors.

 

Harry rights his underwear and jeans gingerly as Louis finishes up dressing. When he turns to find Harry with his hands in his tight jeans pockets and his jersey on his body, he almost throws his hockey stick to the floor and fucks him again- into the bench. He catches his breath in time before his brain processes that thought and works to make it happen.

 

"Let's go home, hm?" Louis reaches for his hand.

 

Harry smiles tiredly, looking completely sex-mussed as he takes Louis' hand.

 

"Yes, love...let's," he agrees.

 

//

 

They are in bed and Louis is in his arms, sleeping soundly now that he's worn himself out with skating and sex. Harry is still awake, listening to night-time sounds and huffing out sighs.

 

He doesn't mind that Louis is soundly asleep, that he tangled their fingers together and pulled Harry's arm around him in some subtle way to keep his hands busy. He doesn't mind that Louis snores a little bit and sometimes kicks him in the shin when he kicks about in his sleep- probably dreaming of playing football. He doesn't mind the minty smell of the locker-room shower gel Louis used at the rink showers, the way it's in his hair as well as on his skin because Louis didn't dare use shampoo with his hockey team. He doesn't even mind the way Louis' hair is soft and a little dry without conditioner.

 

He definitely doesn't mind Louis' body, all soft and small in his arms. Soft apart from his muscles, that is. He doesn't mind those either. Maybe minds those the least.

 

He brushes his lips down the edge of Louis' ear, cuddling him. He feels antsy, feels like there's things to be said and things to make Louis understand about him. Like that he can be left alone. Like that he's trying.

 

"Lou, are you awake?" He murmurs, even though he knows Louis isn't.

 

Louis wakes up.

 

"What is it?" He asks, rubbing a groggy hand over his eyes.

 

"M'sorry I didn't want to wake you," Harry says. Which is a lie. But still.

 

Louis turns over, blinks at him.

 

"What is it, babe?" He wonders and Harry feels his chest fill with something that makes it hard to breathe.

 

 _Babe_. Louis' always called him babe but not like, all the time so that it got meaningless. It's a lovely endearment and Harry appreciates his infrequent use of it.

 

"I'm sorry," he manages with a confused frown. "I'm sorry that I cut myself."

 

Louis cups his cheek.

 

"Shh, none of that," he husks, kissing Harry's other cheek.

 

Harry blinks, meets his intense blue eyes that are soft with sleep, with tiredness probably since it's 4am and Harry's keeping him awake now.

 

"I-I am okay, you know," he says then, awkwardly.

 

Louis slips his arms around his waist.

 

"I know."

 

"But-well, you don't," he considers softly. "Like...since it happened...you've been different," Harry describes.

 

Louis tenses in the bed and Harry makes sure the weight of his arms around Louis' shoulders is enough to stop him fleeing.

 

"I-okay," Louis frowns too and Harry begins to regret saying anything. Louis has the best smile and he just broke it.

 

"I can be left alone," Harry blurts his most prominent thought.

 

Louis swallows, looks kind of devastated and Harry wants to kill himself. Slowly.

 

"I know that...god, I didn't-Is that how you feel? Like I'm suffocating you?" Louis wonders then, thumbing at Harry's curl by his temple, watching it press underneath his digit and then spring forth.

 

Harry fidgets.

 

"Not suffocated, exactly," he hedges.

 

"I just thought you needed someone," Louis lets out a breath and Harry feels a little bit broken by it and by his words. "I was just trying to be there..."

 

"You are," Harry assures. "But you got rid of your razors and you hold my hands more," Harry notes.

 

Louis nods, face drawn with worry.

 

"Yeah, I guess I did," he muses softly, like he hadn't even realised himself.

 

Harry feels like a complete shit. Louis didn't even know that he was doing those things, had maybe done them unconsciously. Harry tires to imagine how he'd feel if it was Louis that had hurt himself. He imagines he'd fare a lot worse than being a bit clingy.

 

"It's okay, though, I just wanted to check that everything is okay," Harry rushes, gasping in air.

 

Louis flicks his eyes up. Harry marvels at the way his lashes can be seen in the dark. So long they catch the faint light from the slightly-open door.

 

 _I'm okay if you're okay_ , he seems to say.

 

 _I'm okay, are you okay?_ Harry sends back.

 

 _We're all okay_ seems to be the general outcome of that.

 

Louis sighs.

 

"Guess I have to shave, then," he muses in the dark.

 

Harry can't help squeezing the adorable out of him.

 

"I like your beard," he says.

 

Louis grins. The bristles of his beard rub Harry's chest, he can feel it through his t-shirt. He's been permanently cold since his last melt-down and he's even wearing pyjamas to bed.

 

"Oh good," Louis offers lightly. "I'd hate for my boyfriend to disapprove of my manly facial-fluff..."

 

"It's sexy," Harry announces outright. "It's better than _Zayn's_ ," he adds.

 

Louis preens a little at that.

 

"Yeah? Better than beauty himself?"

 

Harry nods, kisses Louis slow and intense in juxtaposition to their happy banter.

 

"How did I win you?" Harry husks as he pulls away.

 

"God knows," Louis sighs. "Something about stalking me everywhere I went..."

 

"Heyy," Harry pouts. "I was persistent that's all. Imagine if I left it to you- we'd both be alone and miserable right now."

 

Louis considers this for a minute.

 

"Fuck. I was _horrible_ ," he realises.

 

Harry actually giggles.

 

"You were resistant to the idea," he concedes.

 

Louis captures Harry's gaze.

 

"I'm not now," he offers hopefully.

 

"I know, I wore you down," Harry nods proudly.

 

Louis grins big in the dark where Harry won't see it.

 

"How is vanilla tasting by the way?" Louis wonders.

 

Harry has to clear his throat. His body is tight from just a sexy kiss ten minutes ago. Vanilla tastes better than anything else he's ever tried.

 

"Hm, it's alright," he plays it cool. "Think I can cope..."

 

Louis husks out 'you little shit' before rolling with Harry in the bed. Harry ends up on top. Louis can live with that.

 

//

 

So it's not until Harry gets an actual audition that things begin to change.

 

One of the four companies that he's approached with his last batch of letters has invited him in. Demonic Records. Niall had said there was something in that, that Harry should think about it. Zayn had told him they were one of the best up and coming labels around; they were signing edgy and new artists quickly and Harry should jump on the tail of that. Liam had pretended he hadn't had any influence over Harry getting called in. Louis maybe loved him for it.

 

"I'm so nervous!" Harry was a ball of shaking hands and wild hair.

 

Louis had petted him with kisses but that had only lasted so long before he felt the need to start pacing up and down. From there it was a case of getting Harry there on time and getting him to stand still long enough to actually _sing_. He kept disappearing to the toilet or the vending machine or the smoking area with Zayn.

 

Louis had taken the day off especially to be there while Harry auditioned and Zayn was his music-buddy which Louis didn't mind.

 

Harry killed it. He was clutching a contract when he came out of the three-hour meeting that Louis and Zayn ducked out of; running crazy around town while it all went on.

 

Louis took him out for a celebratory dinner, watched him text all of his friends, ring his mum and dad and tell them the news. He's reminded about visiting and he agrees right away, checks with Louis that Saturday is not too soon. Louis assures its not.

 

Harry is in stunned awe for the rest of the night, getting giggly on champagne and completely touchy-feely as they tumble into the house; Harry kissing Louis his thanks into his lips.

 

"If it wasn't for you I wouldn't have kept going," Harry sighs.

 

Louis makes a face.

 

"You would've, come on," he muses.

 

Harry shakes his head with a pout.

 

"Niall would never have let me. He'd have put a ban on me sending any more demos out after my first incident," he shares.

 

Louis frowns. _He would?_

 

"He would?" He says out loud.

 

Harry nods.

 

"He likes to pretend he's cool with it but he's banned me before. I wasn't allowed to read fan-fiction after my OTP broke up. It sent me in a downward spiral," Harry divulged.

 

"How old were you?" Louis wondered.

 

"Sixteen," Harry shared.

 

Louis smirks. So he's known Niall that long. All news to him. Still, the Irish lad had made Louis promise not to make a big thing of Harry's cutting when he himself had banned Harry from doing certain things that might trigger it. He needed to have words about that at some point but not right now. Right now Harry looked like an angel that wanted to seduce him and Louis really wanted to be seduced.

 

"Let's celebrate in bed?" Louis murmurs.

 

Harry's grin is filthy.

 


	15. Chapter 15

To say Louis is nervous when he meets the Styles family is an understatement. He feels like he's going for his driving test and a job interview all in one. He's tried to go semi-smart in his jeans and plimsolls with a t-shirt and jacket on top. His hair unfortunately is the nest Zayn likes to call 'sexy'. Zayn even helped him pick his outfit after Louis called him in a panic.

 

Harry had to wait patiently for the two of them to sift through all of Louis' clothes until they found the perfect combination. Harry was sure his mum would be more worried about what time they arrived than what Louis was wearing but he didn't say anything when Louis finally exited the bedroom because he looked too amazing to possibly complain.

 

Louis' hands were sweating as Harry knocked on his parents front door, one hand tangled with Harry's as he tried not to hyperventilate.

 

"Darling!" Anne cooed as she opened the door and wrapped Harry into a hug- since Harry launched into her arms and that. Des hung back and hugged Harry more gently after as Anne gave Louis a watery smile.

 

Jesus. She wasn't actually going to _cry_ was she?

 

Anne sobbed; pulling Louis into a bone-crushing hug and all the air left his lungs.

 

"Louis!" she gasped and he gently hugged her back. "You're gorgeous!"

 

Louis lifted a brow over her shoulder at Harry who was now curled in his dads arms.

 

"Uh...thank you?" He managed to breathe out a few words.

 

She leaned back and cupped his face.

 

"Look at you...so handsome...I hope you're looking after my boy? Are you hungry? You look thin, darling, do you eat properly? Does Harold not cook for you?"

 

Louis chuckled breathlessly at her babbling and Harry whined 'mum' to shut her up. Harry dragged Anne into the house to 'make tea' and bit his lip as he looked worriedly back at Louis with his dad. Louis lifted his chin in acknowledgement, a silent reassurance that Harry could handle his mother's meltdown and leave Louis to his own devices.

 

"Mr. Styles," Louis held his hand forth, got a strong handshake from Harry's dad.

 

"Louis, right?" Des checked and Louis nodded.

 

"come here then , son," Des leaned in to hug him too and Louis had the air knocked out of his lungs for a second time more from shock this time since Des was a soft hugger.

 

"I..." Louis frowned as he pulled away.

 

"Harry's told us," he began huskily, the timbre of his voice reminding Louis of his beau. "We know what you've done and we're very grateful."

 

What had he done?

 

"Uh...what have I done?" Louis asked, clueless.

 

Des blinked, grasped his arm gently.

 

"Loved him," He offered and it covered a lot so Louis pretended he got the drift.

 

"Well, Harry makes that part pretty easy," Louis conceded with a smile.

 

"It's good to finally meet you," Des added.

 

"Same," Louis let him lead through the house toward the living room.

 

They stayed two nights, made love quietly in Harry's old bed the first night and fell giggling into the sofa for a messy fuck the second night and Louis enjoyed every minute he spent with Harry's mum and dad but he caught Des in the garden once they were all packed up and Harry was giving his mum and hour-long hug goodbye.

 

"Uhm... Des," he broached, sitting next to him on the swing seat in the garden.

 

"Oh, you off?" Des was roused from his distracted thoughts.

 

"Yeah, in a bit when Harry's finished hugging his mum," he teased lightly.

 

Des chuckled.

 

"Always was his mother's boy that one," he mused.

 

Louis nodded.

 

"Um. I wondered if I could talk to you about something?" Louis hedged.

 

Des turned toward him, intrigued.

 

"Yes, of course, son," he encouraged and Louis couldn't help his smile at Ted's endearment.

 

"I-it's just that Harry and I...we've talked about it and we've decided that this is it for us, like, we're serious about each other," he began breathlessly, working up to the words, to what he wants to say, to _ask_ , really. "And if it's okay, I mean I know you still don't know me that well but-actually, I'd really like to marry your son?" he poses, running out of breath and words in the same moment.

 

When he looks up, he thinks he sees tears at the edges of Des's eyes.

 

"I don't need to know you a long time to know you, Louis," he says. "If this is you asking my permission then you have it."

 

Louis nods. And well. That's it really, that's all he needs.

 

"Thank you," he breathes out the breath he's been holding all morning and Des gets up to hug him.

 

"Look after him," is all he says.

 

Louis pulls away and shoots a look up at the back door, sensing someone there.

 

"Pa, you haven't fallen for him too, have you?" Harry asks his dad.

 

Des chuckles.

 

"I may have a tiny bit," he concedes.

 

Louis blushes and his lashes fall to his cheeks. Harry moves out of the doorway to go and grasp his hand and kiss his temple.

 

"Ready to go, Lou?" Harry checks.

 

Louis nods, throwing Des a smile.

 

"Hope to see you again soon," he expresses.

 

Anne hugs him for nearly as long as she hugged Harry, already in tears over Harry's departure and Louis feels bemused at how quickly he's been adopted by this family.

 

"Louis, you're everything we expected and more," she gushes. "Take care won't you?"

 

Louis nods, squeezing her one last time and ushering Harry down the drive to the car once he's finished last-chance hugs. He waves to them before slipping into the driver's seat. Harry's a tearful mess in the passenger side. Louis leans across and squeezes his hand.

 

"Home?" He checks.

 

Harry nods and wipes tears off his chin as Louis ignites the engine.

 

//

 

It's a boring drive home with Harry having nodded off and curled into a ball in the seat with his arms folded over his seat belt cutely; a beanie pulled over his curls.

 

Louis keeps flicking looks over but mostly entertains himself with singing quietly along to the radio. He wonders if they should visit his parents soon, wonders if his mum and dad could live up the Styles' warm welcome. Possibly not.

 

Louis wonders if Harry feels short-changed with not having an invitation to go to Louis' childhood home. He makes a note to ask him once he's awake. Meanwhile he concentrates on the road. He still has a long way to go.

 

//

 

Harry wakes up and begins poking Louis in the ribs.

 

"What?" Louis snaps, almost missing a turning with the distraction.

 

"When do I meet your mum and dad?" Harry asks and Louis wonders if Harry's been inside his head the whole time he's been asleep.

 

"Whenever," Louis assures quickly.

 

"Yeah?" Harry sounds hopeful as he stretches out. "Are we nearly home yet?"

 

Louis glances at him.

 

"Be about half an hour..."

 

"Hmm," Harry re-folds his arms and curls down into the seat again.

 

"My parents aren't like yours," Louis offers.

 

"Oh?" Harry seems curious.

 

"They're good, don't get me wrong but like yours are-brilliant, really," Louis summarises.

 

Harry smiles proudly.

 

"That's funny, that's also what they said about you."

 

Louis bites his lip.

 

"Really?" He asks, voice high with hope.

 

"Jesus, Lou, they love you," he mumbles as if Louis already knows this.

 

Louis' lashes drift to his cheeks for a moment until he has to turn again.

 

"I-Good," he decides. "I think."

 

"Hm, whatever," Harry nestles his cheek into his shoulder. "M'not jealous at all that they invited you to breakfast without me..."

 

Louis laughed out loud at that, remembering how Sunday morning folded out. Anne and Des made a point of asking Louis to breakfast to get to know him without Harry there. It wasn't as awkward as it probably should have been. It gave Harry an excuse to lay in.

 

"Oh Haz," Louis coos. "We can't all be good at charming the parentals..."

 

Harry lifts a brow at that.

 

"Is this a competition because I can bet I'll have your mum loving me before I even cross her doorstep," he challenges.

 

Louis smirks. He kind of suspects he'd done the same with Anne somehow, only he still wasn't sure how.

 

"Here you go then," Louis tosses him his phone. "Dare you to ring my mum now."

 

Harry frowns at the handset. It has a picture of him and Louis as the screen-saver, that makes him smile for a second.

 

"What? What am I meant to say without you?" He scoffs.

 

Louis shrugs.

 

"You're the so-called big charmer," Louis accuses mildly. "You figure it out."

 

Harry swipes the phone to unlocked and looks up 'Mum', lifting the handset to his ear, brows lifted in readiness. Louis begins to bite at his lower lip, his breaths becoming short.

 

"Hello?" A female voice answers after the fifth ring.

 

"Hello, is this Mrs. Tomlinson?" Harry checks.

 

He glances at Louis. Louis glances back.

 

"Yes, yes it is. Who's this?" She asks back.

 

Harry realises he doesn't know Louis' mum's name. He clears his throat.

 

"Mrs. Tomlinson my name is Harry Styles and I'm L-"

 

"Oh, Louis' boyfriend!" she gushes and really, that's the last thing Harry expects. The wind is taken out of his sails somewhat.

 

"Uhm...yeah," he agrees bluntly.

 

"Oh, how nice to hear from you! Did he tell you to call? He didn't make you, did he? I know how bossy he can be..."

 

Bossy? Harry thinks this lady doesn't know the half of it.

 

"He didn't make me," He promises.

 

"Oh you sound lovely," she says and Harry's hardly said enough for her to decide if he's an axe-murderer but still....he likes her.

 

"We want to visit," he gets on with the call. "I'd like to meet you and Mr. Tomlinson," he adds.

 

"Well, we're free any time..." She assures.

 

"Next weekend?" He presses and looks pointedly at Louis. Louis shrugs.

 

"Well-yes, okay...if you're sure?" She checks. "And anyway, call me Johanna."

 

"I can't promise to," he teases warmly. "But I'll try..."

 

"Is Louis there?" Johanna ventures.

 

"Just driving," Harry offers honestly. "Asked me to set it up. Thought you'd like to hear from me so you know he's not making me up in his head," Harry goes for full-on charm.

 

Johanna giggles. He thinks he's got this one in the bag.

 

"Well, he did have an imaginary friend in little school," she divulges. "He liked to kiss him and I knew then he liked boys," she reminisces.

 

"Really? As young as that?" Harry grins at this piece of information.

 

"Louis' been kissing boys since he was old enough to talk," she teases.

 

"Hm, is that so?" Harry's voice is warm as melted butter, filled with conspiracy.

 

Louis makes a grab for the phone.

 

"Mum!" he settles for shouting. "What are you telling him?!"

 

Harry grins.

 

"So, Johanna, do you have any baby photos of Louis that I could possibly take a look at?" he poses. "He's too shy to show me his..."

 

"Shy?" She snorts and Harry thinks he might be in love. "Well, I'll get them ready for your visit," she adds softly.

 

"Awesome," Harry gives Louis smug smile. "I guess I'll see you next weekend then..."

 

"Absolutely...Harry?" she calls before he dials off.

 

"Yes, Johanna?"

 

"You sound lovely," she says again and he thinks he just won Louis' bet.

 

//

 

"I cant believe you fooled my mother!" Louis spits as Harry hangs up.

 

"What do you mean 'fooled her'?" he scoffs. "I am genuinely charming thank you."

 

"What was she telling you?" He wonders with annoyance.

 

"Hm? Oh not much," Harry feigns innocence.

 

"Harry..." Louis warns and Harry's grin deepens.

 

"You can walk from here unless you spill," Louis warns.

 

Harry rolls his eyes.

 

"She may have mentioned your imaginary friend in little school," he divulges. "How he was your first kiss..."

 

Louis is glad to be driving right now. He clenches his teeth together and sucks in air nearly as sharply as he expels it.

 

"She told you that huh," he clips and suddenly Harry realises its not funny any more. Louis is genuinely annoyed.

 

"Look, just because you were a little player at five doesn't mean I love you any less now," Harry opts for placating him.

 

Louis doesn't answer, just drives with tension in his body for the rest of the way.

 

//

 

Harry decides that it's about time he gave Louis the massage he promised him weeks ago.

 

Louis is still stiff with tension as Harry pushes him into the mattress gently face-first to straddle him. They're both in boxers as Harry settles on Louis' ass.

 

"Wow, comfy seat," Harry husks.

 

Louis huffs, not quite the softening Harry would have liked to feel in Louis' body.

 

Harry makes sure to settle several times on Louis' behind. Louis begins to get squirmy but the tension is still there. Harry reaches for the massage-oil and lathers up his hands, warming the oil.

 

Louis' body is just gorgeous. Harry thinks he could probably have his hands on him all day like this and never get fed up. His shoulders are broad, smooth and the right side of bony. His back is lithe and curved and sleek, his butt is profound, just the best backside Harry has ever witnessed and he's seen a few. He's telling Louis how the gods conspired to design his butt with the sole intention of snaring boys. That butt was not made for girls, he whispers.

 

Louis chokes out a little laugh at that and finally he begins to relax. Harry considers his formula as successful and goes on to wax lyrical about his eyelashes until Louis begins to melt under his touch.

 

"You can stop complimenting me now," he finally offers.

 

"Oh," Harry pouts playfully even though Louis can't see.

 

"I think I have a thousand word ode to make to your dick and I don't want to add any more pressure..." He muses.

 

Harry sinks oily fingers into his hair.

 

"You like my dick?" He fishes.

 

Louis smirks.

 

"Big Harry."

 

Harry smirks too. _Well, okay then_. As long as Louis is happy, he's happy too.

 

"Will you talk to me?" Harry wonders of Louis' total close-down from before.

 

When some of that tension creeps back into his shoulders Harry sighs in defeat and begins his massage over.

 

Louis wriggles a bit until Harry kneels up so he can turn onto his back. He doesn't miss the way Louis' hard for him and he nestles back into his lap. He might even ride Louis if he stops looking so damn conflicted...

 

"Look, I'm not exactly cool," Louis expresses, eyes wide and telling. "I had a pretend-friend and it was a boy who I could pretend-kiss," he explains.

 

Harry smiles softly.

 

"It's okay, Lou," he assures.

 

"She's okay about it now but the whole reason I had to pretend-kiss anybody was because my mum tried to boy me out when I was little," Louis described awkwardly.

 

"Boy you out?" Harry echoes, confused.

 

"Yeah-like only giving me boy stuff to play with, boy clothes...I was only allowed boy friends to the house because if a girl came over I'd inevitably end up playing with their dolls and dressing up with them." He sighs.

 

Harry arches a brow, his breath catches. It's inappropriate to make a joke, but-

 

"You dress up?" He cant help it.

 

Louis' eyes meet his and Harry feels the tension leave his body again.

 

"She's right, I did used to kiss boys, too," Louis sighs as if in final surrender.

 

Harry rocks his hips, circles them straight after.

 

"Well, thank fuck for that or I'm onto a loser here," Harry husks, deep and low.

 

Louis leans up to kiss him, cups his neck and pulls Harry's body down so that he can lay back again, hips jutting up to press into Harry's body.

 

"Why is this a big deal?" Harry asks quietly, thumbing Louis' cheek tenderly.

 

Louis blinks.

 

"My mum has a hundred stories about little gay Louis," he sighs. "And yet I was made to feel uncomfortable about it until I came out at fifteen."

 

"So you're upset that she told me?" Harry guesses.

 

Louis frowns.

 

"It's like, now it's suddenly okay that I painted rainbows on my walls. Somehow it's okay because of you..." He muses.

 

"Lou, your mum was just trying to put me at ease," Harry reasons.

 

Louis nods, pushing his lips into a semi-smile.

 

"Yeah, you're right..."

 

Harry kisses him, across his jaw, over his cheeks. Louis captures his face with his little hands and smiles bemusedly at him.

 

"So, we gonna fuck now or what?" He husks.

 

Harry lets Louis roll him into the bed.

 

//

 

Harry's been in the recording studio for three days and Louis hasn't been able to see him at all. Even in the evenings he's out 'networking' and Louis tries not to think about all the people Harry is meeting without him, he tries not to think about why Harry hasn't invited him along to those after-studio get-togethers.

 

Louis figures its mostly because he rolls in at 2am and Louis has to roll out three hours later so Harry is probably being a gentleman and not dragging Louis out on a school night. He tries to console himself with Harry's infrequent but increasingly mushy texts.

 

_But you're not here Lou *pouts*_

_I would drop Ed for you in a heartbeat if you were a famous songwriter_

_I love you more than beef loves gravy_

Louis tries to get through those three days with the help of coffee and Zayn. He even has to take a lunch with Niall to help cope with the distance between him and Harry.

 

"It's all good mate," Niall had patted his knee consolingly.

 

"Is it?" Louis scoffed. "I haven't seen my boyfriend in three days and I live with him..."

 

"Harry's always a bit fickle," Niall waved a hand about carelessly. "He'll charm anything he thinks can improve his chances with his singing."

 

"Great," Louis sighed. "So he'll sleep his way to the top."

 

"That's not what I said mate," Niall admonished. "Harry doesn't let just any old guy into his pants."

 

Louis lifted his brows.

 

"He _is_ wearing the collar," he allowed.

 

"See!" Niall jumped on that. "And you have forever with him so what's three days?"

 

When Niall put it like that, Louis is appeased. They still have to visit his parents with hardly any alone-time at all before they hit the road.

 

It was Harry's turn to drive and Louis folded his arms and sank into the passenger seat as Harry hums along to a tune in his head.

 

"So how was last night?" Louis asked finally since Harry didn't creep in until 3am and then his hair smelled of cigarettes and alcohol and something else. Something not-Harry. Louis didn't like it and had avoided being spooned.

 

"Yeah, good. So, there's a thing Monday night," Harry offered then, biting his lip. "I'd love it if you could come..."

 

"What kind of thing?" Louis asked, curious.

 

"Well, it's sort of a gathering in a nice little bar and the guys will be there and well-I've been talking about you all week so they want to meet you," he admitted almost-shyly.

 

Louis thinks he's not seen Harry look like this before. He's definitely perked up at knowing people want to meet him, though.

 

"Alright," Louis agreed. "I'll work my schedule so I can go in late Tuesday."

 

"Brilliant," Harry smiled and his dimples elongated in his cheeks.

 

Louis thinks he's fallen in love all over again.

 

"Be good to meet all these trendy, hipster types you're hanging about with," Louis mused.

 

Harry slid him a look, then looked back to the road.

 

"You're trendy," Harry said and Louis severely doubted that was the case but,

 

"Thanks, babe."

 

Harry smiled, apparently happy.

 

"Wanna hear the song I recorded yesterday?" Harry asked, as if knowing Louis needs a little bit more.

 

Louis smiled back at him, eyes pouring adoration if anyone could see him now. Thankfully they can't.

 

"Fuck, yeah," Louis nodded.

 

Harry begins singing and Louis closes his eyes to absorb heaven.

 

//

 

Louis' mum thankfully gives him a big hug when she opens the door. She also gives Harry a hug which he's twice as thankful for.

 

"Crikey, you're tall," Johanna teases with a twinkle in her eye that Harry instantly likes.

 

"Yeah, all them runner beans I had as a kid," Harry jokes.

 

Johanna- thankfully- laughs. Louis thinks this might not be a total disaster.

 

"Is dad about?" Louis wonders of Mark.

 

"He's in the garden getting the deck chairs out," Johanna comments.

 

"He only gets them out when royalty's coming," Louis is bemused as they come inside.

 

He quickly tangles his fingers with Harry's as though he's more nervous than Harry at Harry meeting his parents.

 

"Harry's royalty, apparently," Johanna remarks. "Tea?" She checks and they both nod.

 

"Christ, my dad can be a bit weird," Louis warns quickly.

 

Harry kisses his temple.

 

"I don't care," he husks as he noses at Louis' hair. "He made you."

 

Louis looks up at him, his eyes flared so his long lashes are thrown right back. His lips look perfectly kissable and Harry's a weak man, he has no resistance so he takes the opportunity and kisses him. And gets caught.

 

"Ahem..." the deep throat-clearing is enough to have them both bolting apart.

 

"Dad!" Louis sucks in a breath then stutters to move forward to hug him.

 

"Boo-bear," His dad booms, hugging him tight.

 

Harry smirks. _Boo-bear_. Oh, he's gonna have fun with that one. Louis is blushing as he pulls back.

 

"Harry, meet Mark, my dad," he motions him in.

 

Harry goes for a hug, not bothering with formal introductions like handshakes.

 

"Dad," Harry hums with a smile, hoping he's hit the right bar with Louis' dad.

 

"Bit big for one of mine," Mark chuckles, holding Harry at arm's length to study him. "But handsome enough..."

 

"Dad," Louis murmurs.

 

Mark nods in approval.

 

"Definitely handsome enough."

 

Harry smiles and his dimples are a permanent fixture from then on. Louis knows he's charmed his father without saying two words.

 

"So, how did you meet?" Johanna asks as they soak up the sun in their deckchairs.

 

Louis has changed into jersey long shorts and forgone a top to top up his tan. Harry brought some frankly garish yellow swim shorts that Louis assures him its okay to wear. His parents do a stellar job of not commenting on them.

 

"Uhm," Louis clears his throat, flicking Harry a look who's been segregated between his parents.

 

"Through Louis' flatmate," Harry inserts. "He introduced us."

 

Louis can't keep the interested smirk off his face. So Harry Styles is a filthy little liar, he would have to remember that for future reference.

 

"How is Zayn?" Johanna asks and Louis doesn't miss the pinch in her lips.

 

"He's living with Perrie, Proper loved-up," Louis shares.

 

"And Louis lives with you now, Harry?" Johanna angles to Harry.

 

"Yeah," Harry nods. "It's nice since I work nights and our schedules clash a lot..."

 

"Is he as messy as he was when he lived at home?" She asks.

 

Harry's grin is irrepressible.

 

"Yep," he agrees shortly, throwing Louis a placating kiss.

 

Louis scowls.

 

"You wouldn't rather live with one of your friends?" She suggests.

 

"No," Harry dimples. "Louis' just special," he says, rather randomly.

 

Louis rolls his eyes and sighs as he relaxes into the sun.

 

"So, how's the singing going?" Mark asks, sipping at the beer he moved onto after cups of tea.

 

"Good," Harry shares. "Just recording some tracks actually, I got picked up last week by a little label."

 

"That's great news," Mark enthuses. "Have you celebrated?"

 

Harry shakes his head.

 

"Not until it's cut. Don't want to jinx it."

 

"Sensible lad," Mark says and Louis smiles proudly to himself.

 

Harry is _his_ sensible lad, his amazing, talented, sexy singer boyfriend.

 

"Another beer, Harry?" Mark asks.

 

Harry gets up, too.

 

"I'll-uh...use your loo if that's okay?"

 

"Of course, Johanna cleaned it five times before you came its fit for royalty," he teases.

 

"Like your bloody chairs!" Johanna throws back as the two men go inside.

 

Louis turns his head to watch them, a little worried frown above his brows.

 

"Don't worry your dad won't scare him off," Johanna tells her son.

 

Louis gives her a lopsided smile and relaxes back into his seat.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter after this, would you like a hybrid story next??
> 
> THANK YOU AS ALWAYS AND I LOVE YOU
> 
> Ang

"So the thing is, I really want to marry him but I wanted to get your approval first..." Harry's halfway into his _'please let me marry your son'_ speech to Mark.

 

"Well," Mark seems stumped for a moment. "Never really expected to get asked that since I have a boy," he muses.

 

Harry waits.

 

"Harry, that took a lot of courage," he adds.

 

Harry doesn't think so.

 

"Not really. It's what I want and if I have your approval it just puts the icing on it, really," he offers.

 

Mark leans in and hugs him again and Harry's overwhelmed.

 

"You can marry him whenever you like," Mark assures, getting teary. "It'd make me a very happy man."

 

Harry bites his lip, isn't sure if he should ask,

 

"Did you think it wouldn't happen for him?"

 

Mark gives Harry a surprised look at his intuition. He sighs.

 

"He went awhile on his own," Mark comments, not revealing too much. "We did worry. Not that he was single but more that he was miserable," he admits.

 

"It took a bit of work," Harry shares with a little secret smile. "He didn't come running arms open."

 

Mark squeezes his arm.

 

"Good. Because now you know he means it, right?"

 

Harry's smile softens.

 

"Right."

 

"We should get back out there before he has kittens," Mark suggests.

 

"Um," Harry says as Mark starts forward.

 

Mark taps the side of his nose. "Our little secret."

 

Harry nods.

 

"Thank you," he adds as they head back outside.

 

//

 

They have to head out the next morning to get back home in time for Louis to do his paperwork and for Harry to prepare for the studio again. They had dinner with Mark and Johanna, had breakfast together.

 

Louis refused to let Harry debauch his teenage bed by having sex in it but Harry managed to trick him and gave him blow job and Louis had taken his collar away in punishment which Harry was still pouting about on the way home even though Louis had thrusted his collar back at him after they passed the first service station.

 

Harry clutched it in curled fingers, refusing to put it back on.

 

"So we're done?" Louis asks lightly, glancing over.

 

Harry has his arms folded and forehead against the window like a proper toddler in sulk mode.

 

Harry mumbles something Louis doesn't catch a word of.

 

"What's that, babe? I can't hear you?"

 

"You can't call me babe if we're done," Harry muses.

 

"That's not what you said and we both know it," Louis dashes back.

 

"I _said_ , I'm not done with you I haven't even _started_ ," Harry enunciates more clearly and suddenly-

 

Yeah. Fuck, _yeah_.

 

Louis is hard.

 

He tries not to crash the car.

 

"Oh," he gulps down air and spit and chokes slightly. Harry smirks.

 

He slowly makes a show of putting the collar back on, tugging it satisfactorily as he finishes. Louis swallows loudly and tries to wet his suddenly dry throat.

 

"Little Louis is being obnoxious," Harry tells him, slipping a languid hand into Louis' lap to rub fingers up and down that ridge.

 

Louis sucks in a breath. Technically, Harry is mad at him. Technically he could have an accident if Harry even thinks about bringing him off. Technically, Louis needs to get Harry out of this funk so they can roll in bed for at least four hours when they get home.

 

"Pit stop?" Louis breathes.

 

Harry flips open his jeans button deftly and drags down his zipper. Louis pulls off the motorway and parks in a hidden cove.

 

//

 

Louis gets a fine since he's the one driving them home. Harry happily gave up driving duties when Louis asked for a try in his Audi.

 

The fact is, Harry riding him is not a regular occurrence- not one he has experienced before in fact let alone in daylight and in his car. Because Harry was so big and the space in his front seat so restricted, it had been pretty intense.

 

So intense that Harry has taken to nicknaming him 'The Fast and the Furious'. Not from the film and the way Louis' drives but from the way he came when Harry rode him. Louis begged for a re-match and blamed _public-sex nerves_. Harry reasoned that _public-sex_ _nerves_ should cause the opposite problem to coming too soon.

 

Louis pointed out it's never been an issue before and Harry shouldn't have split open his jeans on the motorway before Louis could pull off.

 

Harry retorted that pulling Louis off was exactly the problem to his quick release. Louis is devastated he'll only be remembered from this car trip for this sole reason.

 

"S'okay flash," Harry winks, still sex-happy. "Later, yeah?"

 

Louis growls.

 

"Did you see that copper?" He complains.

 

"Jealous as fuck," Harry nods.

 

Louis creases his face.

 

"You think so?"

 

"Lou, your dick was hanging out of your jeans, he was staring I saw the whole thing. He was gonna let you off until I grinned at him and licked my lips and then he got his ticket book out..."

 

"So this is your fault?" Louis summarises.

 

 

"I wasn't going to let some moron in a uniform treat you like eye-candy," Harry sniffs.

 

"My hero," Louis sarks.

 

"He wanted you," Harry raises his brows in certainty.

 

Louis twitches his lips.

 

"Well, he can't have me," he offers.

 

Harry agrees.

 

"No, he bloody can't."

 

Louis tugs on his own collar, the one he'd fastened as soon as they'd left his parent's house.

 

"Yours," he says, minding the road.

 

Harry makes a noise in his throat.

 

"You _really_ need to speak up," Louis mutters as he misses Harry's words once more.

 

"I _said_ I wanna fuck you so hard," Harry repeats testily. "Only I don't do that, so-I was just telling myself off for saying it."

 

Louis swallows, His whole body clenches.

 

"You-don't?" He manages on a dry throat and he thinks Little Louis is going to get in trouble again soon but he hopes it doesn't end in another fine. He's not made of money.

 

Harry darts him a look.

 

"You know I don't," he accuses.

 

"But uh...would you, if, um..." Louis doesn't even know where he's going with this. He'd already decided long ago that the rough fucks he used to get pale in comparison to Harry's much more gentle approach but there's something-

 

There is something about the idea of beautiful, big, gentle Harry pushing him down and making him take it. There's a lot about that idea, in fact. Louis can barely breathe with the shock of knowing he likes the idea, more than that, maybe-loves it.

 

"Lou," Harry's voice has dropped about ten octaves and has a quiver in it. "Are you asking me if I'll fuck you hard?"

 

Louis gulps. _Shit_. Is he? He's not even sure himself what he's asking for. He pictures the image in his head again, tries to sound less breathless than he really is.

 

"Maybe?" He offers, tentatively.

 

Harry lets out a few expletives, runs a hand through his already-ragged hair. He huffs a few times and Louis relaxes back into driving the last few miles home.

 

"Don't even bother with our cases," Harry says as Louis turns into their road. "Just get up those stairs and get naked, got it?"

 

Louis flicks him a look, pretending to be bemused by his request.

 

"Is there a please in there?" He enquires.

 

"You'll be lucky I don't fuck you into next week," Harry glitters and Louis knows he's set himself up for this, has practically begged for it. He feels excited and on-edge as he pulls into the drive.

 

He doesn't bother trying to be cool about it, his hands are shaking and he has trouble with the door lock but as soon as they break inside, Harry is on him, kissing and clawing and biting, hands dragging off clothes, ripping them sometimes. Louis feels utterly ravished, he wonders why this had never happened before.

 

It takes too long to get up the stairs between painfully pleasurable kisses and touches and strokes and Louis practically Superman-dives onto the bed once they stumble through the door and it's even less time for Harry to be draped on his back sinking fingers deep in him; fucking him fast with those digits.

 

"Fast and Furious huh?" Harry husks, teeth scraping at Louis' shoulder.

 

Louis is mindless, can't even imagine how hard he will come from this because he's never been this turned on before. When the heel of Harry's hand pushes up his spine to place his palm right in the middle of his shoulder blades, he knows its time.

 

Harry pushes down on his back at the same moment he pushes himself inside, the combination of being pinned to the bed and being fucked so fully all too much for Louis who groans helplessly and kicks his legs a little in protest.

 

Harry soon contains that little rebellion by bracing his thighs on the outside of Louis', pressing against them effectively and as Louis is front-flat to the bed, he's literally helpless. Harry is sinking into him with all his weight spread over his back and thighs and it's pushing Harry deeper, deeper into him where he feels tight and hot and-

 

 _God, he might even come like this_. He moans prettily at the idea of it.

 

He can feel the pulsing, feel Harry's head pushing into him; the girth of him stretching his muscles, the tightness of the position punishing his body. He can't get enough.

 

"More," he calls weakly, breathless since every time Harry thrusts, the air is pushed from his lungs.

 

Louis might even cry he's in so much ecstasy right now. He's sure he can feel tears at the edges of his eyes and if he didn't think he could take Harry any deeper, he's wrong. Harry pauses, shifts a little, stuffs a pillow under his hips and then-

 

Oh. _Oh_. So good. So fucking good...

 

Louis thinks he should probably pray since he's having a divine experience and he has no idea how Harry's getting along because all he can hear is pretty pants and drawn-out moans every time he sinks right in or eases out. It's push-pull but of the best kind and he's definitely not being gentle about it. Louis knows the difference and Harry is being brutal. But fuck, he's hard for it, needs it more than anything.

 

"Yeah, like it hard?" Harry mutters, spread across Louis' back as he tugs on his hair gently. "Like it tight and rough?"

 

"Jesus, yes," Louis gasps out, rutting against the bed and he almost cries when Harry stops fucking him and eases out.

 

Harry hisses as he begins to wank himself off hard and fast and then it happens so quickly, it's a chain-reaction to Louis' climax. Harry comes heavy and hot on his lower back, right over the dimples at his lower spine; decorating that appealing little dip with thick white come and it's all Harry can do to keep stroking himself until he's all spent because otherwise he'd have kept stroking himself back to erection and have another go at Louis' ass. It's all too much seeing his perfect tanned behind and beautifully arched back covered in his spunk and he can't really explain what makes him do it but he's there, two fingers dragging though the sticky mess and pooling the liquid toward Louis' ass where he smears it down his ass-cheeks and twists his wrist so his fingers push inside; taking the come with them.

 

Louis whimpers; collapses on the bed and his hips jerk with his release as Harry realises too late he may have taken that too far. He wonders if the whimper was from being too sensitive, if he's bruised Louis too much and now his fingers have finished him.

 

Harry honestly wants to marry him right now before Louis has the chance to decide he's shit in bed.

 

"Fuck," Louis whines weakly, panting. "Fuck, I love you..."

 

Harry is scared to lay on his back the way he wants to. Because he also really wants to push more fingers inside Louis and that-

 

Well, that isn't happening. Even if he does picture his tongue going there, too. He settles for licking Louis clean, every inch of his lower back to be precise.

 

"Just hug me already," Louis sounds so ruined Harry simply has to comply.

 

He quickly lays down over him, resting on one arm, kissing his shoulders with little kissy-lips.

 

"You should be illegal," Louis manages breathily.

 

"God, you're gorgeous," Harry sighs, kisses changing direction to his neck.

 

"Stop fucking kissing me and hug me," Louis complains.

 

Harry settles, tries to get at least one arm around Louis' waist even if his forearm is pressed into the bed when he manages it.

 

"Like this?" Harry checks.

 

"Fuck, yeah," Louis murmurs. "Don't move."

 

Harry is stretched out long atop him, probably heavy, too. Their legs are tangled, their hair, too. He stays there until Louis tells him to move. Louis doesn't tell him to move so Harry doesn't. He leans back and brings Louis with him when he gets a dead foot from their position but he wraps them up with the duvet and goes straight to sleep.

 

"Don't move," he hears Louis murmur in his sleep.

 

Harry kisses him behind his ear.

 

//

 

Louis doesn't want to leave the bed.

 

He had to get up at midnight and finish his paperwork since he and Harry fell asleep after getting in and his body is still achy and sore from the frankly epic sex they had last night. When he'd stirred at midnight he'd found himself in Harry's arms and it was amazing, getting to experience the intensity of making love together and then being so close afterwards.

 

Harry had gotten up with him to make him tea, had curled in the armchair while Louis worked from the sofa. Louis hadn't watched him drift off at all. Not for one minute.

 

He was still staring, really. Gazing on the sleeping angel with the sex-mussed curls and long, beautiful body. It was a constant urge to be fucked by Harry but he managed to resist it mostly. He had a 50% success rate and he figured that was phenomenal considering. Harry was fucking irresistible people should just be happy Louis had managed to control his urges enough not to fuck him in public. Well, yesterday discounted.

 

And so, paperwork was finished with much distraction from the sleeping giraffe. (It was easier to work when he thought of Harry as some gangly-ugly animal. Red pandas and chinchillas were not good comparisons)

 

"Lou, you done yet?" Harry murmured from his sideways loll in the chair, arms folded cutely. _Not like an otter floating on his back, nothing like it._

"Almost, babe," Louis assures. "Go back to bed, hm? I'll be there in a minute."

 

"No' without you," Harry mumbles and Louis does not think of an adorable dormouse. Definitely not.

 

"Alright," Louis finishes up even though he has a page of quotes to prepare. He'll do it during coffee-break, "I'm done," he stands and eases Harry out of the chair gently.

 

Harry wraps his arms around Louis' shoulders sideways and kisses his hair, not letting go as they walk (stumble) to the bedroom together. Louis lends a supportive arm around Harry's back as they go.

 

"Easy there, Harold," Louis teases with a soft voice. "You're a bit unsteady on your feet."

 

"You shorted my brain wires," Harry muses, planting face-first on the bed.

 

Louis crawls in after him only to be quickly drawn into Harry's arms like a spider's prey. Harry wraps him up in his limbs. Louis isn't even suffocated, he actually likes being Octopus Dinner.

 

"Should be me with the problem walking," Louis adds.

 

Harry kisses his hair again.

 

"I'll kiss it better," he promises. "Tomorrow."

 

And Louis does not clench inside at that thought.

 

"Go to sleep, sloth," Louis tells him.

 

"Shurrup," Harry says back.

 

"Hey. Sloth, I love you," Louis adds.

 

"I love you too, Flash," Harry sighs out as he finally falls asleep.

 

Louis could kick himself for coming too soon but he guesses the nickname will stick.

 

//

 

Harry actually wants to climb in the shopping trolley when they go shopping on Sunday. Louis likes being domestic with Harry because not only is Harry irresistibly adorable 90% of the time but it also reassures Louis that they can do stuff together. Stuff other than sex.

 

"Haz, you're too big," Louis swipes at him as he cocks a leg into the trolley.

 

Harry pouts, adjusts his beanie and grins as Louis, slipping an arm around his waist. Louis is in a beanie, too. They kind of match in that respect and the fact they swapped t-shirts when they rolled out of bed and Louis is wearing a pair of Harry's sweat-pants while Harry is commando under his jeans.

 

It's majorly distracting having perfect view of Harry's dick moving about in those jeans; his whole package nicely cupped and blatantly jogging about with each assured step he takes. Maybe if Harry didn't have quite such a girly hip-wiggle, his package wouldn't be so obscene.

 

Louis licks his lips and wishes he'd worn the plug.

 

"Jesus, Haz, are you on the pull," he chides lightly as they move towards the fruit aisle to select their preferences.

 

Harry grabs Louis' hand and moulds it around a banana, a filthy glint in his eyes and smirk to his lips.

 

"You like this one?" Harry husks.

 

Louis almost drops the banana and grabs him into an embrace, almost pushes his hand into Harry's crotch for that matter. The 50% of him that cares enough not to have sex in public is suddenly less bothered.

 

"Not as big as you," Louis retorts, lashes flicking up as he meets Harry's gaze.

 

"No?" Harry's brow arches.

 

"What if-" Louis swallows hard as the image comes into his mind and he can't even explain where it came from, it just popped in there unbidden.

 

He quickly moves off with the trolley to find vegetables.

 

"What if what?" Harry catches him up with his long stride.

 

"Nothing," Louis assures with a wan smile. "What do you fancy for tea?" He asks instead.

 

"That's not what you were going to say," Harry muses.

 

"Hm? Isn't it? I don't remember, sorry..."

 

Harry's hand slips right onto Louis' butt as he leans over the root-veg pallets. Louis pretends not to startle.

 

"Hey, save the groping for home," Louis tries for serious and just sounds breathless.

 

Harry noses his ear.

 

"Do you want it?" He asks, low and sexy. "You look like you want it..."

 

Louis swallows a whimper, feels the tip of Harry's finger press ever-so lightly into the back of his jeans where his hole is covered. He darts looks about them but finds they are alone. The perks of shopping at stupid o'clock on a Sunday.

 

"Want my fingers in you?" Harry bites at his lobe. "Or something else?"

 

Louis groans and turns toward him, plastering himself to Harry's body to kiss him; finding Harry's strong arms already wrapped around him ready to hold him there; ready to make good on his threats.

 

"Finger...you...fuck," Louis mumbles as he kisses down Harry's cheek.

 

Harry grabs Louis' hand and their trolley is abandoned. It's probably the quickest Harry has ever driven anywhere in his life and Louis pushes him onto the bed when they finally make home.

 

"Where's your box?" He asks, breaths tight and short.

 

"What?" Harry's confused. He's not inside Louis yet. Louis isn't inside him. _Why not_ , why the fuck not?

 

"Your box?" Louis repeats. "With your toys," he adds.

 

"I don't have a bloody box," Harry begins slowly, frowning.

 

Louis bites his lip. "Shit...wait here," he sighs and he gets up and-

 

He's gone. _Why's he gone?_ Harry leans up on his elbows to look for him. Louis is knelt on the floor, scrabbling through his bottom drawer and the next thing Harry knows, he's pulled out a dildo- a pink, gel one that looks big enough to have fun with.

 

"Jesus, Lou," Harry breathes out, grabbing the lube bottle in anticipation. "What are you proposing to do with that?"

 

Louis knees between Harry's thighs, lays the dildo next to Harry's elbow and kisses him. he kisses him and fingers him and fucks him deep with those digits until Harry's gasping for more. Louis brings Harry's hand to his own backside until Louis is in the same state and Harry still hasn't worked it out, keeps looking from Louis to the fake-penis and back again.

 

"Can I fuck you?" Louis asks, nudging up the bed; grasping Harry's thighs around his body.

 

Harry nods.

 

"Please," he agrees breathlessly.

 

Louis leans forward so he's body-to body with him. He's still kissing him hot and deep.

 

"Will you fuck me too?" Louis asks then. "With this?" He grasps the dildo and presses it into Harry's big hand.

 

Harry groans and closes his eyes as his head throws back and Louis makes the most of his throat, sucking kisses there. He has no idea if that's an agreement or not but he has to do something before he burns into a heap of ashes so he eases into Harry; starts thrusting carefully into his body.

 

Harry works some lube onto the phallus behind Louis' back, teases him by running the tip down his spine and slipping it between his cheeks. He lubes it again before pressing it teasingly to his hole. Louis; eyes are wide and he's fighting not to fuck harder, to keep up his gentle rhythm into Harry's body.

 

In all fairness Harry looks so far gone Louis is pretty sure he could go as hard as he likes and Harry won't mind but Harry's had a bad experience and he'll never forget that.

 

When Harry eases the gel toy inside him, Louis pitches forward with a breathless expellation of air, his lips falling apart.

 

"Fu-" He pushes out the syllable, not completing the word, too stunned to speak.

 

Harry keeps pushing, the toy resisting slightly against Louis' muscles but more because he's deep in Harry and now he's deep with dick, too and it's all a bit much.

 

Harry's free hand is pulling at his ass-cheek, spreading him as the toy sinks deeper and Louis thinks he's going to come there and then as Harry fills him up. Harry bites his jaw to try and ground him.

 

"Lou, fuck, you look so fucking hot right now...amazing," Harry tumbles out and Louis has to kiss him, has to thrust into him and back onto the toy, giving and taking at the same time.

 

It's mindless, the way Louis is taking dick and giving it, tightness around his own body and tightness deep within him and Harry starts to really fuck him with it, starts pushing in deeper with less out-stroke keeping the toy intensely embedded in his body as he tries to finish making love to Harry without coming to soon.

 

Louis manages to lean away a little, grasping Harry's leaking hard-on and fisting tightly around him as he kisses down his torso and at this angle, the toy is catching his prostate the same way Louis is catching Harry's and its evident this is going to be over soon, way way too soon in Louis' opinion since this ecstasy can last forever actually.

 

Harry pushes the toy right into him and holds it there as Louis fights out his last few thrusts; teeth scraping across Harry's shoulder as he drives into him as deeply as Harry has entrenched the toy within him and it's hot and hard and loud as Louis' finally comes and Harry's coming too, equally hard between their bodies.

 

It takes while for either of them to come down from that, takes long, long minutes before Harry eases out the toy, tossing it onto the bed. Takes longer for Louis to move his softening body from Harry's and lay on his front.

 

It takes what feels like hours to regain breath, to regain semblance even. Louis wonders if Harry is actually okay with any of that or just went along with it since Louis kind of bossed him to. He shifts to prop up on an elbow and Harry's arms tighten around his waist instinctively.

 

"I'm not moving, Hazzy," he assures, kissing Harry's lips.

 

"I'm not letting you," he replies like Louis had a choice anyway.

 

Louis trains back his hair, is maybe entranced by the madness of his curls.

 

"Did I-Was that...alright?" He ventures, lashes on his cheeks as he stares at Harry's chin.

 

Harry lets out a breath of amused air.

 

"Really?" He husks. "You're _really_ asking me that?"

 

"I just-I didn't give you much chance to get used to the idea," Louis admits.

 

"If that's what you were thinking about in the supermarket, I'm glad you didn't tell me," Harry finally offers, slow and lazy in his diction.

 

Louis licks his lips.

 

"So you liked it?" Louis gathers.

 

Harry cups his neck.

 

"You have a box?" He asks instead of answering, eyes lighting with delight.

 

Louis blinks.

 

"I was single for a long time," he muses.

 

Harry feels like kissing him. He does.

 

"I think you just frazzled whatever was left of my brain," Harry finally offers his opinion on the subject.

 

Louis chuckles, attempting to move. Harry's arms and the unbelievable ache across his whole body tempers his intention.

 

"Come on, babe, let's have a shower, we're all sticky," Louis noses at Harry's ear, kisses him by it.

 

"We'll come back to bed?" Harry bargains.

 

"We have groceries to buy," Louis reminds him.

 

Harry bites his lip, a playful smile breaking the skin free from his teeth.

 

"I forgot about all that..."

 

"We can starve and make love instead?" Louis suggests.

 

Harry seems to soften at that.

 

"We'll get take out. I can do the food order online while you're doing homework later," he offers.

 

Louis sighs.

 

"Oh, alright, Harold, if we must," he's mocking and Harry knows it, rolls them over so he's on top.

 

"Just for that, I'm gonna blow you in the shower," Harry decides. Louis groans as he kisses him. "And then I'm gonna make slow, sweet love to you for the rest of the night," he tacks on.

 

Hours later, Louis realises he wasn't joking about that. He really hopes he can walk in the morning.

 


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I lied, there's a small chapter to end this!
> 
> Ang

Louis enlists Zayn's help to dress for meeting Harry's friends. They've already planned to meet there since Harry is holed up in the studio and going straight to the bar whenever they finish for the day but Louis is grateful for the time to find something half-decent in his wardrobe and calm his raging nerves.

 

"Lou, you weren't even this nervous meeting his mum," Zayn teases him.

 

Louis smiles flatly.

 

"Well, this is his career, Zayno," Louis muses. "If they don't like me it might make them think twice about Harry."

 

Zayn snorts. "I doubt it, Harry's the bomb."

 

Louis blinks.

 

"Thanks. I think."

 

"Nah, mate, I mean, you're cool too so why're you worrying? If anyone doesn't like you then it doesn't change anything."

 

"No, I guess not," Louis agrees softly although he could argue it could make things very difficult for him and Harry to hang out with his music friends and since that's where Harry will be spending most of his time from now on it could get really awkward.

 

He tries not to think about that and takes a deep breath. He's a likeable guy. There's no reason they shouldn't like him.

 

"You look fierce," Zayn watches Louis as he catches his own reflection.

 

He's wearing a tight grey shirt tucked into tight grey slacks and he's teamed it with maroon braces and some brogues. Zayn's done his hair in that 'sexy bush' way that Louis is getting accustomed to and his beardy has been trimmed to neatness. Enough scruff to chafe, not too much to burn. He hopes Harry is okay with that.

 

His eyelashes look dark and long and make his blue eyes look bluer. He thinks the fit of the outfit compliments his muscled-but-soft figure and he feels a little more assured after looking at his reflection.

 

"Right, best get going before Haz thinks I've dumped him in favour of FIFA," Louis tells Zayn.

 

"Yep," his friend flips off the bed and gives him a hug. "Kill 'em, Lou."

 

Louis nods his agreement even if his stomach is filled with butterflies.

 

 

//

 

Harry looks like some kind of Hobo-Prince as Louis slips into the bar.

 

He's wearing a plaid shirt which has the sleeves torn off as a waistcoat over a white t-shirt and blue jeans that mould to his beautiful pins. He also has a blue cotton band in his hair and he recognises it as the one from weeks ago that Harry claimed matches Louis' eyes. Technically its more a mid-blue and has a tiny pattern dotted on it but Louis won't argue since Harry is wearing it tonight of all Nights.

 

Louis rubs his hands together as he approaches, ducking a little in a Fagin-esque way as he creeps up.

 

"So who's this stunner, then?" He asks loud enough for the group of four to hear and three turn to give him a strange look.

 

Luckily for Louis, one beams irrepressibly and moves to envelope him into a greeting hug.

 

"Lou! You're here!" Harry hums. "Finally!" he sighs as though he's been waiting all year and Louis is his best Christmas present.

 

"Yeah," Louis hugs him back, kisses his cheek chastely. "I'm here...finally," he adds self-depreciatively.

 

"Meet the gang," Harry lets go to tangle their fingers together. "This is Nick, Ed, Laura and Caroline," he introduces.

 

"Hi," Louis gives them a small, sheepish wave. "I'm-"

 

"Louis," Nick cuts in with a passive blink that Louis lifts his chin at. "We know."

 

 _Alright_. Well that was rude, but-

 

"Yeah, I'm Louis," he blushes a little at the scrutiny from Harry's trendy friends who up until two minutes ago were laughing and lounging casually in their poses and now looked like pigeons when a cat's been released. "It's good to meet you all."

 

Ed seems to take pity on him.

 

"So the mush he writes is about you then, is it?" The ginger-haired guy checks with a smirk.

 

Louis shrugs.

 

"I'm not sure, you'll have to ask Haz tha-"

 

"Of course it is," Harry slings an arm around Louis' neck and draws him into his side, sipping from the straw in his drink and then kissing Louis' temple. "All my mush is for Louis..."

 

"Don't we know it," Nick sighs, rolling his eyes.

 

Louis smiles at the girls.

 

"Ladies, do you need refills?" He asks charmingly.

 

Louis ends up getting a round, finds Caroline has taken his place under Harry's arm when he returns. He sidles up to Ed; sandwiching himself between him and Nick.

 

"So how's he doing then?" Louis asks.

 

Ed smiles.

 

"Great. Harry's very popular in the recording studio he really lifts the whole mood," Ed assures.

 

Louis nods, watching Harry as he animates a story he's telling the girls with his hands.

 

"And his singing?"

 

"He's gonna be big," Ed predicts.

 

"Already is," Nick inserts and he's stolen the words from Louis' mouth.

 

Louis flicks him a cool look.

 

"A little inappropriate don't you think?" Louis murmurs.

 

Nick shrugs.

 

"I'm not the only one who'd like to get in his pants."

 

"He's more than just a bloody dick," Louis' defences rise and he's annoyed at the flippancy of the tall guy with quiffed hair.

 

Nick smirks, eyes shining.

 

"Alright, Princess, keep your panties on," he teases.

 

Louis blinks, gritting his teeth and he decides to take a very big gulp of his drink. He decides to get two more.

 

"...you're gonna have to get your tits out for the record cover," Nick is saying as Louis arrives back with another tray of drinks, making sure he hands Harry his first.

 

Harry dimples and blows him a kiss as Louis tucks into the quartet.

 

"Look at you," Caroline drags Harry's waistcoat back to show off his pecs and when Harry folds his arms at the elbows self consciously to cover his chest, she tugs up his t-shirt sleeve to reveal his muscle upper arms. "You have to flash some flesh to sell records, Haz."

 

"I dunno," Harry is reluctant. "I'm not a showy kind of guy..."

 

"You're packed though," Nick poked Harry in the chest while Louis watched on, downing his drinks.

 

Harry rolls his eyes.

 

"So? That means people buy my music because I put a dick-shot on my cover?" He mused.

 

"Pretty much," Caroline nodded in happy agreement.

 

"I don't necessarily agree with that," Louis angled in on the topic, earning looks from Nick and Caroline. "Plenty of artists have sold albums on their voice alone..."

 

"But the best chance is to flirt with your audience," Nick posed. "People won't know Harry's gay at first so his audience will be younger women..."

 

Louis blinked at that, isn't sure he likes the idea of Harry being used for a show pony.

 

"But he's more than talented enough not to have to take his top off..."

 

"Look, you just want to keep him covered up," Nick accused. "You're just holding him back."

 

Louis gaped at that, turned to Nick with a frown.

 

"No, actually I'm just looking out for him so he doesn't feel coerced into doing something just because he thinks it's the only way," Louis argued.

 

"He's got a great body, why not use it?" Nick asks.

 

"Because he doesn't want to," Louis lifts a hand toward Harry to evidence his feelings on the matter.

 

"I didn't say I didn't want to," Harry mumbled, feeling torn. Louis shot him a glare. "I just don't think it's me, that's all..."

 

"Haz, you don't have to do anything these people tell you, okay?" Louis hard-lined, speaking quite loud which isn't unusual for him but the drinks aren't helping his brain to mouth ratio right now.

 

Harry fidgets uncomfortably. He crowds closer to Louis and grasps his hand.

 

"It's alright that you're jealous," he says so the others can't hear.

 

"I'm not bloody jealous!" Louis spits, loud enough for several of the bar-goers to hear.

 

Harry's face crumples a little. Louis has more to say.

 

"Look if you wanna put your bloody chest and biceps and dick all over your cover then go for it," Louis enthuses pseudo-aggressively.

 

"Lou, we're just talking about what I can do. I might not even have my picture on it..."

 

Louis sighs and looks away, finishing his drink with a stony stare into the distance. He decides to ask Ed.

 

"What's your take on all this?" He checks.

 

Ed shrugs, also piggy-in-the-middle.

 

"He's a good-looking guy, it wouldn't hurt to use that," he concedes, not agreeing to the methods Nick has suggested but not shutting the idea down completely.

 

"Right," Louis nods, seeing he is outnumbered. "I guess that's the way forward then."

 

Harry stays by his side, clinging to his hand even though Louis is rigid with tension. When Louis can't take anymore of the constant 'Oh, Harry you're so funny', and 'Oh, Harry you're adorable', he heads to the toilets for a break.

 

Nick follows him there, worse luck.

 

"Look Louis, you're not in the biz, it's not personal," Nick starts as they use the urinals.

 

"Never thought it was," Louis lies. Because he knows it is personal. Very personal.

 

"If he was my boyfriend I wouldn't want the world ogling him either but you've got to think about Harry here, it's his big chance..."

 

"I know that," Louis snapped, moving to wash his hands. "Which is why I think he deserves more than a bloody cheesy topless cover or gratuitous bicep-shot."

 

"If you hold him back he'll only end up resenting you," Nick tells him and Louis walks out of the toilets and straight to the bar. He orders three shots and sinks them all with salt and lime.

 

Harry finds him and leans into his back.

 

"Hey, what's all this?" He asked, voice husked with singing all day.

 

"Coping tactics," Louis said knowing Harry will relate.

 

"We both know alcohol doesn't work," he said in reply.

 

"I'm holding you back, apparently," Louis expressed tightly as he turned and Harry's arms are immediately around him when he does. He kisses by the side of Louis' mouth.

 

"No, you're protecting me and I love that," Harry assured.

 

Louis sighed, feeling a little swimmy.

 

"I'm gonna head home. You can stay out with your mates, I'll see you back there," he suggested as he wraps his hands around Harry's wrists and breaks their embrace to push through the crowd.

 

Harry frowned and started after him, grabbing his black duffel coat on the way out.

 

"Harry!" Caroline calls. "Where you going?"

 

"Home," He points outside. "See you tomorrow!"

 

Louis was walking quickly down the pavement with his hands jammed in his trouser pockets and Harry was afforded with a spectacular view of his ass in those trousers. He noticed how well Louis dressed for tonight, how gorgeous he looks. He noticed how his shoulders are hunched and his body is tense.

 

"Lou!" He called, jogging after him.

 

Louis paused and turned, looking confused.

 

"Haz, go back inside, I'm fine," he lied as Harry catches up.

 

Harry slipped a hand onto Louis' lower back and deliberately ran it down slowly onto his backside.

 

"You think I'm letting you walk home alone in these?" Harry breathed.

 

Louis looked up into his pale green eyes, seeing the earnestness on his face and considering the fact Harry had just ditched his new friends to come after him.

 

"Well, I probably deserve to be alone," Louis commented.

 

Harry bit into his lip.

 

"Nobody deserves to be alone." He offered diplomatically.

 

"It's okay that I don't get on with your friends, Haz," Louis tried to assure him. "It's just a difference in opinion and I've had too many vodkas so..."

 

Harry leaned down then; captured Louis' lips with his own, kissed him until Louis wrapped his arms around Harry's shoulders and clung on tightly while he tipped to his toes to reach. Harry's hands cup Louis' behind fully with the stretch, he even swatted one cheek playfully before going back to kneading those globes; thumbs pushing up to dig into Louis' sides and Louis isn't sure that Harry meant for him to jump but he does anyway and he landed in Harry's arms; ankles knotted at his back as they kiss for long moments under the streetlight.

 

Louis pulled away and thumbed his jaw.

 

"There's CCTV up there," he warned softly.

 

"I really don't care," Harry admitted.

 

Louis slid down his body as Harry bent to set him to the ground. Harry took his hand and twined their fingers.

 

"I'm coming home with you," he said, as if Louis might argue it.

 

Louis felt guilt flood him but he figured that Harry would have left soon anyway so it doesn't make much difference in that respect but in regards to whose side he's taking in the fallout, it makes a lot of difference. Louis hopes Harry doesn't suffer any nasty consequences tomorrow.

 

//

 

Louis goes to work a bit later but Harry is still sleeping off his tiring day until he has to get up for the studio. Louis wrote him a love-note and rolled it like a cigarette, slid it behind his ear and kissed Harry on the forehead before he sneaked out.

 

It's mid-morning when he's in the middle of teaching his teens that his phone blips and his class roar at him for not having it on silent.

 

"Is that your boyfriend sir?" Kristin hollered.

 

"Is he sexting?" Louisa asked next.

 

"Quieten down, you lot," Louis commanded, ignoring his phone.

 

"When are you getting married sir?" Kristin asked again, with a knowing smirk.

 

"When you finish this book, now can we concentrate on chapter four please?" He wondered.

 

"We miss Harry!" Louisa called out then and Louis rolled his eyes.

 

"Well, Harry is a busy man he can't visit you lot just because you're needy," Louis quipped.

 

Louisa pouted.

 

"He's alright though," Jake inserted, surprising Louis. "He'd be a cool teacher..."

 

An idea popped into Louis' mind as he scrawled on the board. He made a mental note to ask Harry later.

 

"Alright, settle, please," Louis tried over for concentration, this time he succeeded.

 

//

 

**_Thanks for the love note Mushlinton_ **

****

Louis grins at his text.

 

**You're very welcome boo**

**_It's too rude to show anyone at the studio otherwise I'd share it round ;)_ **

****

**I like to think of it as cheeky**

**_If we're talking bare ass cheek pulled open with fingers then I'd agree..._ **

****

Louis smirked at that. Maybe got a little hard.

 

 **Me tonight, yes?** He texted back

 

 ** _I can't wait_** _,_ is the reply.

 

//

 

_Dear Harold_

_Although it pains me to be pulled from your arms this way unfortunately the insistent drag of regular paid work weighs me down._

_If I could possibly remain in this bed with you then you can guarantee I would be here right now._

_It's just not the same having to leave your beautiful naked body to climb into my cold, unfeeling car. I'd rather be climbing onto your lap._

_Of course I'm not just after your muscular body or your ridiculous good looks. I just want to keep your lovely dick warm and lick out your dimples. Maybe the opposite, too._

_Will you have me?_

_Text soon or I shall fade away..._

_Your Louis_

_p.s I'm fluttering my eyelashes_

_p.p.s My eyelashes are really long_

_p.p.p.s I love you. More than skittles love rainbows._

 

Harry folded up the note and tucked it into his jeans pocket before he headed back into the recording booth, a warm blush on his cheeks and an irrepressible grin to his mouth.

 

Nick handed him a hot water with lemon and honey.

 

"That man of yours is a bit sassy isn't he?" Nick arched a brow.

 

Harry arched a brow to match.

 

"You might see it that way but I don't," Harry offered assertively.

 

"Come on, Haz, he practically told you to cover up like some bloody caveman..." Nick scoffed.

 

Harry tensed, frowning at his new friend.

 

"He's allowed to, he's my boyfriend."

 

"If he wants to keep dating you then he'll have to get over it sooner or later," Nick counselled. "You're gonna be like a piece of meat to this industry."

 

Harry tilted his head.

 

"So who's gonna look out for me if Louis doesn't?" He asked pointedly.

 

Nick's brown eyes gloss over.

 

"You could have anyone you want in a heartbeat," he drawled suggestively.

 

Harry blinked resolutely.

 

"I want Louis." He stated, firm and sure.

 

Nick lifted his brows and moved away leaving Harry frowning after him. Did Nick doubt his and Louis' commitment to each other? Did he see Something Harry didn't? He asked permission to marry Louis and he planned to propose when the time was right but that's Something he's saving for now as he concentrates on music.

 

But Nick's forewarning put Harry on edge. Harry worries his lip between his teeth as he gets back into the microphone booth.

 

//

 

Things are weird when Harry gets home.

 

He'd been carrying the love note (Love Note™) in his pocket all day and he'd glanced at it so many times that the creases were becoming weak and it's almost falling apart already. He flattened it out with a cold iron and picked up a photo-frame to tip out the picture of him and his dad at Disneyland Paris, replacing it with the note.

 

He stood it on the side and smiled dopily at it but something in his chest hurt and Something buzzed waspishly at the back of his mind and he cant work it out, can't put his finger on what's wrong.

 

Louis was asleep by the time Harry crept in and for once he hadn't been out to the bar, he'd just been jamming and writing with Ed; forever grateful for his support. there was a new songwriter coming by tomorrow, a new opportunity for Harry to improve and stretch himself.

 

He peeled off his clothes and sniffed at himself, deciding a shower is definitely in order and once he'd done with that he rolled onto the mattress carefully so as not to wake Louis.

 

"Babe?" Louis called in the dark.

 

Harry smiled wanly at the endearment, wondered why Louis was using it. It was almost like Louis felt insecure and Harry hadn't even discussed the fallout of last night. Caroline had been a bit bitchy but Laura and Ed had laughed it off, thought it was sweet how Louis was so protective and so 'out of the scene'. They saw it as a positive unlike Nick and Caroline.

 

"Hey, Boo-bear," Harry returned softly.

 

They were both on their sides, facing away. Louis wasn't sure if he should roll onto his back.

 

"Good day?" Louis asked, shifting.

 

Harry sighed. "Yeah..."

 

Louis coughed.

 

"Was it awkward?"

 

Harry shook his head, curling up.

 

"No."

 

Louis looked over, saw that Harry wasn't in a cuddling mood and it alarmed him but he didn't let it show. He'd never seen Harry not want to cuddle.

 

"Well, goodnight..." Louis extended hopefully.

 

"Goodnight, Lou," Harry murmured back.

 

//

 

It was 5am and Louis should be in the shower but somehow, Harry's dick became a far more important priority than being on time. If Louis couldn't connect with Harry emotionally well then he'd resort to filthy underhand tactics.

 

"Lou!" Harry's awakening gasp and following splutter made him smile around Harry's hardening body-part.

 

"What are you-oh god," Harry groaned, his hips stuttering into action and pulsing as Louis lay curled at his side, shoulders across Harry's lap as he sucked.

 

Harry's hands were soon in Louis' hair and he'd tugged at the strands too many times before he reached for the lube bottle, seeing an opportunity that couldn't be missed. Louis' ass is literally within touching distance and the way he'd curled around, it'd be easy- impolite not to even- slip a finger inside.

 

Harry goes about it, drawing a surprised gasp from Louis' lips which just gets drowned by his fellatio.

 

Harry worked his fingers into Louis, found the deeper he touches, the harder Louis sucked. He found that when he curled his fingertips and pressed his soft-spot, Louis moaned around him. He'd also discovered that Louis goes harder as he goes softer but even then because it was morning and neither of them are fully awake it was still a lovely lazy kind of blow-job that Harry enjoyed with slow pleasure.

 

It was sweet, the way Louis woke him up this way, it's a Love Note ™ of a different kind. Harry can't quite decide which he preferred right now because his mind was too consumed with Louis. Everything is Louis. Louis is everything.

 

Harry had to lean over slightly to reach Louis' hard-on, wrapped a hand around him and let Louis do most of the work which to be fair, Louis was doing anyway rocking his hips back onto Harry's fingers and bobbing his head as he swallowed him down.

 

Harry was completely in awe, thought he needed to work out a suitable payback for later as he limply thrusted his hips to delve into Louis' mouth. Louis has the best lips he thought as he lazily humped his way to orgasm. He had to really concentrate to keep his hands in the right place, doing the right thing with the right amount of pressure and combination of touch and Harry doesn't know how it happened, but Louis is coming, cries stuttering around Harry's dick as he choked on Harry's release.

 

It was over and Harry pouted sadly at that fact. His side was covered in stickiness and he wiped it off with his hand, adding it to the mess on the sheet below.

 

Louis flicked him a look, licked his lips. The way he blinked made Harry wonder if that move was dismissive somehow. He might've used that come another way in another scenario. Maybe smeared it on Louis' lower lip for him to lick off. Maybe smeared it on his own lower lip for Louis to kiss off. He wondered too late if he should have thought of Something better than wiping it away.

 

"I have to go," Louis expressed and Harry reached for his elbow and pulled him close, cupped the back of his head as he kissed him.

 

"Make me proud, teach," he murmured lovingly.

 

"Oh that reminds me," Louis sighed as he rolled up, naked and beautiful.

 

"Hm?" Harry looked up at him as he curled in the bed.

 

"I was wondering if you fancy doing a music lesson for my kids? They were asking after you yesterday and I thought it might be cool..." Louis hedged.

 

Harry smiles.

 

"They asked after me?"

 

Louis rolled his eyes. "They like you, what can I say?"

 

"You can't be teaching them right," Harry teased. "But yes to the music lesson thing."

 

Louis nodded, eyes bright and eager with that news.

 

"Great, I'll speak to the CEO and make sure it's all covered."

 

Harry pouted for a kiss before Louis left. Louis didn't hesitate to lean down and oblige.

 

//

 

 

**Babe, are you working late tonight?**

Louis tapped into his phone and pressed send. He kind of hopes Harry won't be working late, he wants to take him out for dinner maybe or attempt to cook at home if Harry doesn't feel like going out.

 

**_Harry's in the studio till 11._ **

****

Louis frowns at the reply.

 

**Who is this?**

**_Nick. Hi Louis._ **

****

Louis frowned at the words on his screen. Why would Nick have Harry's phone? Why would he be opening his messages and replying to them? Louis decided there and then that he's going to surprise Harry at the studio tonight. He makes sure he leaves work on time.

 

//

 

Harry is collaborating with the new songwriter, a guy called Julian that Louis decided right away is not a threat.

 

Louis has taken a seat on a spare sofa and leans back, folding his ankle across his knee as his foot moves unconsciously to a beat as he listens to Harry singing or playing piano, sometimes both. He managed to greet Harry but hasn't asked him about the phone situation yet.

 

"There's the clingy boyfriend," Nick greets coolly as he brings in several cardboard trays of Starbucks. "Hope you didn't want anything," he adds with a bitchy brow arch.

 

Louis presses his lips together. He has Harry, he reminds himself. Nick can be as bitchy as he likes.

 

"No, I'm good," Louis replied anyway.

 

Harry hugged Nick after Nick delivered the coffee, Louis watched closely as Harry also kissed his cheek. Louis doesn't exactly like Nick and doesn't like that Harry likes him, either. He just doesn't trust the tall, dark-haired man at all. But he has to put up with the situation because it's Harry's choice who he's friends with ultimately. It just niggles with Louis a little because Nick doesn't know Harry, not really.

 

And he might find it perfectly innocent to suggest Harry takes his top off for a photo-shoot but Louis knows how vulnerable Harry can feel and Louis has a feeling that Harry being treated like meat might damage his self-esteem even further. He wants to avoid it and yet he can't protect Harry from everything.

 

//

 

"Creeper's giving me evils," Nick murmured to Harry.

 

Harry tutted.

 

"Don't call him that..."

 

Harry looked over to where Louis was sat, sees him gazing with his lashes close together, his fingertip running across his lower lip thoughtfully. He looked bored as hell.

 

"He's a bit controlling isn't he?" Nick accused.

 

Harry frowned at him, sighed in annoyance.

 

"No, he's not. Can we not talk about this please?"

 

Nick smirked.

 

"Sorry, didn't mean to hit a nerve..."

 

"You don't know him, okay Nick?" Harry snapped finally.

 

"Hey, just calling it as I see it," Nick held up his hands in petty surrender.

 

"Well, he's my boyfriend," Harry reminded him. "So keep your opinion to yourself."

 

"I'm just looking out for you," Nick mused. "If you want to go as far as you can in this industry you have to throw any ballast overboard."

 

Harry frowned at this, standing straight and tensing defensively.

 

"He's my anchor, actually," Harry pointed out. "He's been with me through all the no's so he gets to be with me for this part, too."

 

Nick nods, mildly impressed.

 

"Hm. Whatever. If you invite him to the shoot Friday expect fireworks..."

 

Harry looked over at Louis again.

 

"Lou?" He called, waiting for his boyfriend to lift his chin in acknowledgement. "Can you get the day off Friday?"

 

Nick laughed loud and sharp.

 

"Harry Styles, you are a little shit," he hissed, poking him in the chest.

 

Louis meanwhile pressed his lips together.

 

"Not sure I can, Haz..." he admitted regretfully.

 

Harry turned away from Nick and toward the sofa. He climbed right into Louis' lap, straddled him and hung his arms over his shoulders. He adds a pout for good measure.

 

"Will you ask?" Harry begged softly.

 

Louis smiled at his sulky picture, ran his hands onto Harry's thighs and gently squeezed. He tilted his head and stole a kiss from his mouth.

 

"I'll ask," He promised. "why, what's going on?"

 

"Photo shoot," Harry explained then. "For the cover."

 

Louis blinked, bemused.

 

"Uhm...are you sure you want me there?" He checked carefully.

 

Harry nodded.

 

"If you can make it."

 

"But you don't want me holding you back," Louis hedged.

 

"I trust you," Harry argued gently. "Not some people I met five minutes ago."

 

"But they know the business," Louis pointed out.

 

"They don't know me," Harry says finally.

 

Louis cupped his face, thumbed his cheek with a reverent smile.

 

"Jesus, you're amazing," Louis sighed, his thumb slipping into Harry's dimple as he smiled back.

 

"Need my Boo-bear," Harry murmured, leaning forward to kiss Louis, making sure that kiss is packed with the desire he feels.

 

"Oh, get a room," Nick teased as he flaunted past them.

 

"Break's over," Julian called across to Harry.

 

Harry pecked Louis' lips one more time.

 

"You should go home," Harry suggested gently.

 

Louis nodded, biting his lip.

 

"Yeah...alright..."

 

Harry kissed him one last time, firm and sure.

 

"You'll wait for me, won't you?" He asked, heartbreakingly uncertain.

 

Louis knew he wasn't just talking about tonight.

 

"Of course, Harold," Louis assured easily.

 

Harry's smile is worth the reassurance.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone has survived the Larry hug please teach me your recovery methods, I am still not coping AT ALL.
> 
> You guys blow me away with how involved you get with these characters and the lovely kindness you write for me. I LOVE writing for you, I often chat with my muses about 'what would my audience like;' and luckily it's the same as what I like most of the time!
> 
> This is the last chapter of this story, I am posting Fairy Harry short next.
> 
> Angela

Louis can't get the day off so he called Liam and Zayn and Niall and begged one of them to go along for moral support. Liam is the only one who has a few hours free so he agreed to drop in on the shoot. It's Liam who calls Louis in the afternoon.

 

"Lou," he greeted, sounding casual to start.

 

"Li," Louis replied bemusedly.

 

"Uh, I don't know if you know about this but someone's brought alcohol onto the shoot and Harry's had a few shots already..."

 

"What?" Louis spat, standing up to run a desperate hand through his hair.

 

"I think they're trying to get him to relax but he's getting giggly and-"

 

"And he'll do anything for anybody," Louis finished quietly.

 

"Yeah," Liam smirked. "Like in a sweet way but-"

 

"If I turn up it'll look like I'm being over-protective," Louis posed then.

 

"Um...I actually think this might be one of those times it's justified," Liam hedged and it's all Louis needed to make an excuse at work and head down to the shoot.

 

//

 

When Louis arrived at the studio, Harry is trying to pull his t-shirt off and struggling due to the fact his limbs wont co-operate and it's just as Nick steps in to grasp the hem of Harry's top that Louis slipped into the room.

 

He frowned at the scene and cleared his throat loud enough for Nick to hear. Nick leaves Harry fighting inside his half-turned-out top.

 

"Oh, Louis the controlling boyfriend," Nick announced snarkily as Louis hastened to save Harry from being swallowed by his top.

 

Louis pulled the hem of his tee back down and slipped an arm around Harry's waist as he crowded in front of him protectively.

 

"Lou!" Harry greeted loudly and drunkenly, hugging the life out of Louis.

 

"Hey, babe," Louis returned with a firm hug back. "I got the afternoon off after all."

 

"Awesome," Harry hummed into his neck.

 

"You had a little drinky?" Louis teased as Harry tried to focus on him after pulling away.

 

Harry giggled with an adorable snort and Louis couldn't even be mad at him when he was being this attractive.

 

"Maybe," he conceded with a naughty smile, batting his lashes. "Are you mad?"

 

Louis smiled at him, kissed his nose.

 

"No, of course not." He assured.

 

"Was about to get naked," Harry added, wriggling in Louis' arms.

 

"Hey, why don't you have a break?" Louis suggested. "Get some water?"

 

Harry pouted.

 

"Water?"

 

Louis nodded. "Yeah...I'm not sure you really want to get topless for this shot."

 

Harry tilted his head in thought.

 

"Hm..."

 

"Just take five minutes," Louis encouraged gently.

 

"You don't want other guys seeing me naked," Harry suddenly accused happily as he pointed a finger into Louis' chest.

 

Louis takes the bait for the sake of stopping Harry stripping.

 

"You got me," He lifted a brow with a bashful smirk.

 

"Louuu," Harry whined, kissing him sloppily.

 

"Sorry, Haz," he shrugged, not sorry in the least.

 

"Come on Hazbo!" Nick called from the set. "Stop snogging and start posing!"

 

"Hazbo?" Louis echoed bemusedly.

 

Harry shrugged, sipping the water Louis manages to push into his hand. He nodded his thanks to Liam for passing it over. Harry is still in his arms so he's in charge of what happens next. Louis really doesn't know how to play this one out.

 

He decided to leave Harry with Liam for a moment and approached the photographer.

 

"He doesn't take his clothes off, okay?" Louis murmured, eyes dark as he addresses him.

 

The guy smirks.

 

"Sure..."

 

Louis shifted on his feet, blocking the view of the room with his broad shoulders.

 

"I know a lot about the law and I can promise you I'll find one that applies if a picture gets taken of Harry without his clothes..." Louis promised darkly.

 

The photographer meets his gaze this time.

 

"Got it," he acknowledged quietly as Louis moved away, passing Nick.

 

"Hey, Jea _louis_ ," Nick called to him and Louis wasn't sure if he thought he was being funny or not but he was a hand clench away from hitting him.

 

"Nick," he smiled tightly as he turned.

 

"Back off," Nick said, the first time he's openly threatened Louis.

 

"Who're you again?" Louis squinted, lifting a brow.

 

Nick smirked.

 

"Harry was having fun till you turned up..."

 

Louis shrugged, licked his lips.

 

"Like I care what you think."

 

"He's gonna get fed up of it you know," Nick said as Louis turned away from him to make his way back to Harry and Liam.

 

Louis flicked his eyes up to check on them, saw Harry nosing into Liam's neck and Liam trying desperately to peel him away. Louis surveys the scene and doesn't feel as bothered as he should. He's rather Harry be draped all over Liam than any other person in this room quite frankly (not counting himself).

 

Nick takes his pause as permission to keep talking.

 

"Harry's not the kind of guy to be put on a leash and one day he'll have had enough and then what?" Nick posed.

 

Louis actually feels like laughing. How little Nick knows. Harry is most definitely the kind of guy to be put on a leash, Louis can contest to that first hand. He flicks his gaze back to Harry's neck where his thick brown collar sits tight against his skin. Liam is struggling to cuddle the drunken Harry as Harry wraps him close.

 

"When you know Harry well enough to make that call, talk to me again," Louis threw out, finally making his way to Harry to relieve Liam of hugging duty.

 

"Lou!" Harry cheered as he came close. He instantly transfers from Liam's body to Louis'.

 

"Hey, beautiful," Louis greeted him with a kiss to his temple.

 

"I have to pose," Harry pouted, his water almost empty.

 

"Bet you need to piss first?" Louis teased and Harry nodded so Louis helped him to the bathroom and after that Harry seems to sober up a bit so Louis leans against a wall with Liam while the photographer continues the shoot.

 

Thankfully, Harry doesn't take his top off again. The closest he gets is to lift his tee shirt up his body to reveal his belly; his thighs showcased in his tight jeans and his tongue thrown out, eyes screwed shut in a rock-esque pose. Louis thinks that's the shot they should use.

 

"M'tired," Harry mumbled as Louis caught him in strong arms as Harry crumbled into him.

 

Liam ruffled his hair.

 

"Right, Haz, I'm off," he announced lightly, winking at Louis.

 

"Li," Harry reached for him, gave him a one-arm hugged while still attached to Louis. "Thank you. I love you."

 

Louis smiled at his friend.

 

"Thanks, Li," He added softly.

 

"I love you all!" Harry called out to the room. "Cute as a button, every single one of you!"

 

Louis managed to guide Harry out without too much of a furore.

 

"Love you," Harry kissed his cheek wetly as they walked, Harry wrapped around Louis sideways using his body as a support to walk.

 

"Love you too, Hazbo," Louis replied, tongue-in-cheek.

 

"I'm not a bloody anti-social order," Harry complained.

 

"Sorry, babe, thought it was your new nickname..." Louis mused lightly.

 

"Is it fuck," Harry grumbled.

 

"Then I just call you gorgeous, hm?" Louis posed.

 

Harry grinned and ducked into his neck, licking there boldly.

 

"Call me anything you like, Lou," he offered.

 

Louis thinks he's probably made of steel to ignore that remark and the way Harry is clinging to him to keep walking in a straight line toward his car. It would be so easy to tumble Harry to the floor and fuck him right here in the middle of the street, the urge to do so overwhelming. Louis reminded himself Harry topped, it wasn't his place to go imagining how he might like to take advantage of his drunken beau.

 

"Let's get you home first, lush," Louis mused.

 

Harry stumbled as if to prove Louis' point.

 

"Yeah, guess so," he conceded.

 

"Come on then," Louis tightened his arm about his waist and helped him into the car.

 

//

 

 

 

Louis finally lost the plot the following day when he slipped into the studio to check on Harry before he headed home.

 

He's done pretty well he felt all in all, what with Harry and his new friends and the outright disapproval they poured his way and also the way they took advantage of Harry's very friendly and accommodating nature.

 

He can't really be blamed for feeling possessive when he came in to find Laura in Harry's lap and Caroline busy fixing braids in his hair, one down each side of his head.

 

Aside from feeling infinitely jealous that either of these girls gets to sit in Harry's lap and touch his hair when Louis hasn't been able to do so for too long; Harry looks fuckable with his hair in plaits. It accentuates his jaw; displays his cute ears and dimples and...

 

Fuck it if Louis doesn't want to be the possessive boyfriend right now.

 

He stormed over, kind of breathless when he stopped.

 

"Haz?" He called, bringing Harry's gaze up.

 

"Hey!" Harry grinned, dimple elongating in his cheek. "Like my hair?"

 

Louis waited for Laura to climb out of his lap before grabbing his hand and tugging him away, only seconds after Caroline has fixed his second braid.

 

"Lou, what's going on..?" Harry stumbled after him as his previously folded legs take a moment to readjust to standing.

 

"Jesus Christ," Louis breathed, tugging him into the toilet stalls and taking no time to push him up against the back of a stall door; kissing him hotly.

 

Harry's hands immediately cupped his face and he kissed back; licking along Louis' lower lip until the shorter man gives way. Louis gave harry the permission he sought without needing to be asked twice. Harry moans into his mouth because of it; slips his tongue in and grasps him hard to his body.

 

Louis already has his hands clutching at Harry's hair, his fingertips pressing into the braids to test their feel and it reminded Louis of the collar Harry had with braiding on it, it reminded him how insanely fuckable Harry looks with his hair in plaits.

 

"Lou," Harry broke away panting, hands to Louis' chest.

 

"I want to fuck your mouth," Louis said, no introduction but then Harry looks good enough to fuck against the back of the door so he felt Harry should be grateful for an alternative to that idea.

 

"Okay," Harry nodded, to Louis' slight disbelief.

 

Louis groans and kisses him again, hands working under Harry's top as he presses his palms across his torso around to his back; lowering to his behind. It's not long before Louis is unfastening Harry's jeans, hand dipping into the space he created to take Harry tight in his fist, stroking him teasingly.

 

Louis wrapped him close, pressed Harry into the door while they kiss for longer, mouths meshing heatedly while Harry gets Louis' own trousers undone, pushing them down with his underwear so Louis is hard and naked for him and Harry's eyes engage with Louis' as they pause for breath.

 

"Really, it's the hair?" Harry asked breathlessly.

 

"And you're fucking mine," Louis reminded, slipping two fingers under the bottom of the collar and his thumb over the top to circle the leather, tugging distinctively to make Harry understand.

 

"Oh god...oh fuck," Harry barely managed to breathe out before his lips are on Louis' again and they're pressing together, squirming and rubbing and thrusting and Harry has to focus, has to try and remember what the fuck it is they are doing to make it go away, to make the hard ache in his body ease, to make the heat in his belly dissipate.

 

He kissed down Louis' torso, shirt pulled up to reach and knelt on the floor before him, spreading his knees slightly to get lower.

 

Louis watched him with intense eyes, lashes lowered to watch Harry in his pose.

 

"Like this?" Harry asked and Louis isn't use to him asking and he can't talk anyway because words have vacated his brain and gone on holiday so he just nodded and hoped Harry wouldn't stop.

 

Harry licked a stripe up the underside of his hard dick; angled down to take him into his mouth with his beautiful green eyes wide open and Louis doesn't have the leash so he tugs on the D-ring of Harry's collar instead, hears him choke a little and mutter 'fuck' before swallowing him whole again.

 

He let Harry get used to the idea, let him adjust to his size and taste but when Louis' hands drift back to Harry's hair and his fingertips catch behind those braids again, he can't help the way his hips jerk forward and then he held Harry in place with them; forcing Harry's mouth on him as he thrusted forward and he knew it was bad manners but somehow he didn't care. Harry is his and he needed to show him, needed Harry to know exactly how much he needed this to survive.

 

Harry might have pulled off normally, might have made a show of licking around Louis and made slurping noises to add to his gift but Louis' hands kept him tight to his body and Harry's nose brushed Louis' pubic hair on each down-stroke; his throat opening up every time Louis' head catches the back of it.

 

He has to pull off to catch air into his lungs, to escape the heady cries that Louis is pushing out but Louis is impatient and tugs Harry back by the tips of his plaits, waiting for Harry to look up at him, lip caught in teeth with a wide-eyed gaze of innocence.

 

Louis has taken his hard-on and stroked it while Harry looked upward for the signal, chewing his lip so it's red and swollen for when Louis is ready to start again.

 

"Want it?" Louis husked, eyes dark with lust.

 

Harry nodded and Louis is reminded of the day he found him, submissive and obedient. It makes his heart surge and his dick harden instinctively more. He smirked, ran the tip up the groove in Harry's cheek teasingly.

 

"Want it, babe?" Louis asked again, licking his lips.

 

"Want it," Harry growls back, hoarse with the fucking Louis' just given his throat and he's not even done yet. He groans at the sound of Harry's ruined voice.

 

Louis tapped his dick against Harry's chin, some come falling from the tip to his chin which Harry licked up with a wide swipe of his tongue, eyes never leaving Louis' while he did so.

 

"Fuck, you want it so bad," Louis awed.

 

"I'm yours," is all Harry managed in reply.

 

"Then prove it," Louis challenged with a brow arch.

 

Harry swallowed him again; hands cupped against Louis' ass-cheeks to bring him near but Louis soon began to thrust again, his rhythm a little erratic by now from how much Harry is enjoying this and how sexy Louis finds it to watch him.

 

Harry had nowhere to go as Louis leaned into the door; fucking the back of Harry's throat now as his peak nears and although he cradled his head by the braids, he knew he was probably going too far with this, going too hard and too deep and Harry needed to be able to breathe for Christ's sake but he just can't stop the power of his hips as he rocks them, needing Harry's tight mouth around him for every second until the day he dies.

 

Louis thinks that might be sooner than original planned the way Harry sucked in his cheeks to hollow them out, making his mouth only tighter and he turned his head so Louis' head slips down his cheek and then Harry pressed Louis' hand there in that way he liked so he could feel himself pushing in. He could hear the noises Harry was making, can make out the soft whimpers and the clicks of his throat as he took him and Louis is mindless by the time Harry began to stroke his own erection.

 

"Fuck, fuck..." Louis chanted as he thrusted in and in and braced his arms on the door above Harry to take his weight, to try and save him something at least.

 

Louis wondered if Harry might actually dump him after this, from his selfish and insensitive treatment of him but Harry is making such pleasured sounds in the back of his throat Louis wasn't even sure which way was up anymore.

 

He felt the tingle, the inexplicable itch that began under his skin when he was near and although Harry's hands cupped his thighs he pulled away to stroke himself, grasping the collar around Harry's neck with a firm tug.

 

Harry looked up, eyes dilated with desire as his lips fell open, red and obscene and any other time Louis would be aiming to come all over those pretty pink lips but fuck, he has other ideas right now that need to be tried out.

 

He tugs hard enough on the collar to force Harry's head to the side, keeps jerking his hand over his erection quickly as the climax breached his body and then he tugged downwards sharply so that Harry's head is in just the right place to decorate his hair with sticky, white come.

 

Louis gasped at the sight, groaned loudly and felt like he was coming all over again at the image of his seed in Harry's hair and it was all he could do not to bite his own tongue off to try and quieten his loud cries. He sucked in big, gasping breaths as he limply finished stroking every last drop of come out of himself, the lazy drops falling on Harry's ear and making him shiver between Louis' thighs.

 

Louis let go of the collar when his fingers feel numb from holding it. He wasn't sure he'd ever feel human again.

 

Harry blinked, slowly lifted his head up. Louis caught his olive orbs and begged silently for his approval for what just happened.

 

"Yours," Harry husked simply, voice so deep and ragged that Louis' ass-cheeks clench at the timbre of it.

 

Louis nodded, still breathless, still mindless, even. He hopes his brain cells haven't been fucked right out of his body into Harry's hair.

 

"You like the braids then," Harry added softly, tilting his head.

 

Louis reached down to take his jaw between finger and thumb, turning his head further to appreciate his work.

 

"Just a bit," Louis offered then, ruefully.

 

"You gonna help me wash this out?" He cocked a brow, shuffling on his knees to ease upwards. Louis noted Harry's own orgasm is laying in white stains on his jeans.

 

"Think we better just go home, don't you babe?" Louis suggested, tickling his fingertips into Harry's braid to retrieve some come, licking his middle finger free of it and offering the other to his boyfriend.

 

Harry sucked in his index finger and frowns.

 

"S'cold," he wrinkles his nose.

 

"Oh sorry," Louis teased. "Next time I'll aim for your mouth first."

 

Harry's eyes glow with the promise of 'next time.'

 

"M'not sure I can just leave," Harry frowned then, shuffled his feet awkwardly.

 

Louis wrapped his arms around his middle and kissed him.

 

"You're gonna go back covered in my jizz?"

 

Harry smirked.

 

"Would you like that?"

 

Louis' mouth fell open. _Fuck, yeah_.

 

"I-uh...well, won't it be weird?"

 

Harry shrugged.

 

"You think they'll say anything?" He mused.

 

Louis unlocked the stall to at least try and get some of the mess out of Harry's hair and his clothes before he goes back to the session. Harry clings to his hand as they make to part. Louis turns and hugs him.

 

"I'll be waiting for you," he promised softly.

 

"Naked in bed?" Harry bargained.

 

Louis kissed his cheek, fingering his now-wet braid.

 

"You can bet on it..."

 

Harry groaned and finally set him free with a fond smack to his butt.

 

"Love you, Boo," Harry called as Louis made his way out, hands jammed in pockets tritely as a blush hit high on his cheeks.

 

"Love you, too," Louis called back.

 

He got a text as he pulled in the drive.

 

**_Julian's pissed, won't let me sing._ **

****

**Why not?**

 

**_My voice is no good apparently. Asked if I gargled with razor blades in my break._ **

****

Louis can't help but smirk at that. Although the mention of razor-blades still hazed him with sadness in memory.

 

**Did you tell him the truth?**

**_What that my jealous boyfriend fucked my mouth till my throat was raw?_ **

****

Louis choked on Harry's candid reply.

 

**_I pretended I was coming down with a cold..._ **

****

**You can get your revenge later...**

 

Louis offered amusedly.

 

**_I wholly intend to._ **

 

His body warmed at that threat and he immediately wondered what Harry planned to do to him.

 

**Be nice?**

He begged knowing it wouldn't win him any grace.

 

**_Put your plug in, Boo, you're gonna need it..._ **

****

Louis swallowed hard at the thought of Harry coming home purely to fuck him and he imagined all the ways in which that might happen. It was a long wait in the drive until his body calmed enough to risk hastening into the house.

 

//

 

Harry took Louis from behind.

 

He bought some lovely leather cuffs especially during a break and fastened them around Louis' wrists as soon as he got in; making sure to thread the chain through the headboard iron first so Louis is tethered.

 

Harry didn't even bother to ask Louis if he was okay with it, if he wasn't he could say but Harry was more concerned about evening the score. Louis didn't sound particularly against the idea as he shuffled up the bed on his knees to wrap his hands around the bars to cling on.

 

Harry rimmed him, made sure to get his tongue good and deep so that Louis can understand how hot and bothered he left him earlier. Even though Harry realised his climax he had to sit in that studio and pretend Louis hadn't just claimed him in the best way possible.

 

It may have ruined his voice but Harry hadn't even really cared about that. Nick had been very quiet after Julian gave up on recording to write instead. Harry guessed his new friend worked out exactly what went on when Louis turned up earlier.

 

Harry can't help himself as he eases his fingers into Louis' ass; curving them to stretch him out expertly.

 

"Oh god," Louis groaned as he pitched forward, shoulders touching the head-board as he dipped his head.

 

"Gonna fuck you into that thing," Harry promised darkly, his voice a deep husk.

 

Louis made another sound of approval. In fact for a guy who couldn't touch, was bound and prone he sounded pretty damn ruined. Harry clipped the leash onto Louis' collar and wound it around his wrist until it was taut so that when he knelt up behind him all he had to do was tug and Louis' head was brought up.

 

He made sure to get Louis' legs inside his own to make it tighter.

 

"You ready for this?" Harry murmured, knowing Louis was because the plug he'd been wearing had stretched him out nicely. Louis whimpered in agreement anyway.

 

Harry made sure to fill him nice and slow, starting off with excruciatingly easy thrusts; steady and deep. Louis pushed back onto him as Harry kissed at his neck and bit at his shoulder, the tight fill of him forcing him to sharpen his thrusts.

 

"Yeah...more, Haz..." Louis begged needily, dipping his head again to which Harry tugged on the leash, wrapping it around his wrist another circle to keep it tight.

 

Louis' head was forced back. Harry leaned over his back to suck bruises into his neck; humping right over his body like a dog; his thrusts tight and hard and bruising. Louis keened into the headboard so Harry was forced to rethink things.

 

If Louis wasn't so fucking hot then he'd just take it and lay limply hanging from the board but dammit all to hell if he didn't love being fucked this way; hard and deep and Harry wanted to give him more, wanted to give him everything he had, really.

 

He reached forward, unfastened a cuff to slip it through the bars with the intention to re-fasten it but it was too late, Louis' hand reached back and squeezed his thigh. Harry captured his hand and quickly and re-cuffed it so Louis was again powerless. He heard him breathe out in frustration but he didn't object. Harry took that as green light to carry on.

 

He leaned back on his haunches, taking Louis with him, kneed between his thighs this time so Louis could straddle across his lap and as he sank down into his dick, they both let out a gasp in surprise. Louis from being filled to the hilt, Harry from being so deep in him. It was mutual pleasure and Harry tested the position by thrusting gently. Louis' breath stuttered out of his lungs and Harry smiled in satisfaction. _Good_.

 

He wrapped the lead a little tighter on his wrist, bringing Louis' head back where he kissed at the column of his throat again and then it became hot and hard in quick minutes from the change in angle.

 

Harry fucked up into him as he kept Louis prisoner against his body, his free hand splayed on Louis' belly and clutched at his hip. He deliberately ignored Louis' hard-on, tweaked his nipple and grasped his thigh; running a finger up his ass-crack to where he filled him, pressing a fingertip there to remind Louis of the last time they'd tried that.

 

Louis rucked back on him, breathy and high pants falling from his lips as he rolled his head back, trying to rest it on Harry's shoulder.

 

Harry took minute pity and tilted his head to let him sag against him as he continued to thrust up, up into his body and he wrapped a hand around Louis' dainty ankle to tug to open up his thighs and when Louis did so, he let out the loudest cry that echoed around the room tellingly.

 

"Ha-oh god," Louis bit his lip to try and curb his whimpers, his sounds of utter ruin but really he was too far gone for that.

 

When Louis rolled his head to the side, his forehead brushed the braid that got him into this position and he flicked out his tongue in cat-like fashion to try and catch the tip of it as Harry jostled about, tugging it into his mouth with the tip of his tongue where he sucked on the end; using the mouthful of hair to gag himself.

 

Harry grabbed his forearm with insistent gentleness and pulled them up causing Louis to frown confusedly until he understood. He bent his arms right back; slipped them over Harry's head and arched his back so it slid right down Harry's front and they both froze, mouths open in silent ecstasy as they came together slowly; Louis easing down on Harry's big fill, his body stretching in a whole other way.

 

Harry's breathing became frantic, his hand splayed right across Louis' beautiful belly as he held him there, afraid to move. This might just be too much. Too deep, to hard, too much. Louis began to move, though, began to fuck himself on Harry's dick and Harry figured it couldn't be too much after all, it was maybe just enough to end this painful pleasure tower they were climbing together.

 

"Lou, f-fuck," He gasped, rocking his hips just-so, just enough to pulse into him and Louis' thighs widened and trembled with taking him but Harry can't stop.

 

Louis turned his head in toward Harry as if needing an anchor, as if not sure where to shout his need to release. He nuzzled into Harry's ear, muttering words, hot sexy dirty words that make Harry just want to fuck him harder but he can't, he really can't. Louis is so tightly spread across his lap and so full of him he can't let this insanity go on much longer but somehow his body is making it last; reluctant to let go.

 

It's when Louis' teeth sink into the braid at the side of Harry's head that his control slips. It's a reminder that Louis really likes Harry's hair in braids, it's a reminder that Harry can be his complete self with Louis and be desired, it's a reminder that he wants to marry Louis- _right now if fucking possible_ \- and spend the rest of his days letting Louis braid his hair instead of Caroline.

 

As Harry's body spilled over, he reached for Louis' hard-on as a second thought but he didn't have to bother because Louis came without even being touched once. He came hard and strong all up his own torso and Harry couldn't help running his hand across that mess only to lick it off his hand greedily.

 

He was holding Louis against his body as they came down together; sweaty and panting. He was afraid to move because it's such an intimate position; Louis is impaled on his body awkwardly.

 

Louis shifted but his breath hitched tellingly in his throat.

 

"Lean forward," Harry murmured in his ear; still holding him lovingly.

 

Louis carefully unhooks his tethered hands from Harry's neck and puts them to the mattress so his body curled forward allowing Harry to ease out. Once he has, he unfastens the cuffs and rubs gentle thumbs over Louis' wrists, curling across his back gently.

 

Louis made a noise and collapsed onto the bed and Harry shifts down to spoon him; kissing his hair as he comes round.

 

"Lou...Louis...I love you," Harry murmured, stroking his belly.

 

Louis sighed out, cleared his throat of husk.

 

"Can you ask me to marry you now?" Louis wondered and Harry couldn't help his chuckle and happy grin.

 

He nuzzled into his neck.

 

"Are you okay?" He checked softly.

 

"Define 'okay'" Louis breathed.

 

"Does it hurt?" Harry asked.

 

Louis wanted to roll onto his back but he wasn't sure he had the muscle-control to do so.

 

"Turn me over, babe," he asked Harry instead and Harry gently drew Louis into his arms so they were facing.

 

Louis kissed his nose in thanks.

 

"I'm more than okay, I promise," Louis said then.

 

Harry cradled him in his big arms, kissed his mouth gently.

 

"Yeah?"

 

Louis nodded. "Yeah..." he assured breathily.

 

Harry squirmed a little, settled into the bed.

 

"So, now?" Harry husked, nuzzling Louis' nose to get soft, lazy kisses.

 

"Hm?" Louis kissed him back equally lazily, in little sips.

 

"Can I ask you now? Or is it too cliché after sex?"

 

"Ask me what, Harold?" Louis mused, distracted by the soft swelling of his lover's mouth from the contact their lips have made today. He brushed the backs of his fingers lightly down Harry's collar-bone where a red rash is laid from Louis' stubble-burn.

 

Harry curled into that touch, purses his lips which just made Louis want to kiss them again. He does, one at a time, kissing sensuously over his jaw right after.

 

"I'm trying to ask you something," Harry complained his words slow and edged with rasp.

 

Louis tilted his head back slightly, felt Harry's fingertips stroke gently down the back of his neck, making him shiver.

 

"Go ahead then, babe," Louis invited and Harry noted how many times Louis had said babe since he'd seen him earlier. It was becoming his new favourite word.

 

"Well...it's for you know..." Harry began brokenly, suddenly filled with doubt. "I haven't even got a ring yet."

 

Louis' brows lifted in sudden realisation, he gasped a breath into his lungs.

 

"You're asking me _that_?" He awed, catching his lower lip in his teeth. "Fuck, Harold, no, I don't need a ring and the answer is yes, alright? My answer is fucking yes..."

 

Harry blinked patiently while Louis kissed all over his face.

 

"You didn't even let me ask," he accused when Louis stopped kissing him.

 

Louis swallowed, chastised.

 

"Oh right. Sorry." He cleared his throat but Harry felt the tremor in Louis' hands as they cupped his neck. "Go on, then, big-boy. Make it good..."

 

Harry pursed his lips and gave him an unimpressed glance.

 

"You'll be lucky you get it at all now..."

 

"Please," Louis pouted, face bright with hope. "Please, please, please..."

 

Harry huffed.

 

"Louis Tomlinson..."

 

"Yes?" Louis sucked in a breath.

 

"Shut up," Harry complained. "Louis Tomlinson, I'd like to ask you-"

 

"Yes!" Louis breathed, kissing Harry's mouth hard and fast.

 

Harry quickly accustomed to the kiss and kissed him back.

 

"Are you ever going to let me finish?" He mused.

 

"You mean you had more to say?" Louis wondered.

 

Harry dimpled as he smiled. Louis' eyes crinkled at the edges and as they gazed upon each other's faces they appreciated the little things.

 

"Marry me," Harry said simply, kissing Louis nose.

 

Louis waited, breath in lungs.

 

"Well?" Harry prompted.

 

"Can I reply now?" Louis checked with a cheeky grin. One Harry had to kiss off his mouth.

 

"You better," Harry sighed impatiently, wanting this proposal to be done already.

 

"I'll marry you, Harry," Louis agreed softly, nuzzling close.

 

"Thank fuck for that," Harry breathed out finally. "Now that I'm making an honest man of you I can fuck you into next week..." he led suggestively.

 

Louis tucked his ankles into Harry's lower back as he rolled into him; running his fingers down his braid and into the hair he'd left loose.

 

"Can't wait to make you my husband," Louis offered as Harry kissed down his chest.

 

Harry fucked him into next year, never mind next week. Louis was smitten.


End file.
